To tell my husband he'll have to come home from work now.

[CanIScreamPlease]

I have absolutely had fucking enough today.

I am minding my step children whilst DH has had to go into work (self employed but had a job on today).

The kids are being absolutely awful. They are arguing, fighting, shouting at each other. I am so fed up I feel I could literally scream. I've had to put them in seperate rooms for the afternoon. I'm about to ring my husband and tell him to come home because I really can't be fucking arsed with it any longer.

I know it sounds like a ridiculous excuse but I'm on my period and I have really bad problems with low mood when I am, so much so that I've seen the GP and been given ADs to take 10 days a month because of the low mood.

I am at my absolute wits end with them today and I am so angry. I feel like if I hear one more moan or argument I'm going to just drive them to his work and drop them off.

He could be at the park sitting about with a beer for all you know.

Just why? Do you think the same when mums go out to work? The man has gone to work, presumably to earn money. He's not gone to the pub with his mates. If they don't need the money and he doesn't need the work then call him home, but maybe they do need the money from this job to.pay bills etc.

You're behaving like a spoilt brat. You took on him and his children. He's working to support you all. You'll just have to stick it out until he gets home.

There's no way you'd be behaving this way if they were your children.

There's no way you'd be behaving this way if they were your children.

FFS. But they aren't her children that's the whole point. Your own kids you discipline as you see fit. These kids have parents already and the parents should be dealing with them if they are being little sods. What's so hard to understand?

Stupid statement.

You're behaving like a spoilt brat. You took on him and his children. He's working to support you all. You'll just have to stick it out until he gets home.

What a ridiculous thing to say.

Yes OP, be a good little housewife and don’t dare complain when you’re doing someone a favour by looking after their children even though you are unwell and then finding it difficult when they are physically fighting.

Really helpful post there 🙄🙄🙄

You're behaving like a spoilt brat. You took on him and his children. He's working to support you all. You'll just have to stick it out until he gets home.

There's no way you'd be behaving this way if they were your children.

Don't be so silly.

I have done this when it was my own children, because I was too ill to cope, and the childrens' behaviour was so challenging I could not cope, and it was rapidly devolving into a very volatile situation.

The other parent coming home was in the childrens' best interests, because I was not physically or mentally well enough to look after them safely.

That's not being a spoilt brat, that's realising your limitations and reaching out to the most sensible source for support.

Oh, and I didn't even have to travel 250 odd miles in a global pandemic lockdown and neither did he. . . .

OP, my DSDs (and they genuinely are dear to me and I to them) were being VILE last week when my DP was at work. They're older so I told them to stop it, that I was off to Tesco to get the shopping and took 3 hours to get it (because i drove to a local beauty spot and listened to radio 2 until their Dad got home ). for you, don't listen to the few and far between SM bashers on this thread. The vast majority of us sympathise!

I’ve split my kids up today and sent Them to their bedrooms, for sniping at each other, pushing, shouting and arguing. It stopped them shouting, gave them time to cool off, and I got some peace and quiet. Perfectly ok in my book.

Put up
Shut up
And never tell the snowflakes off as it's not your job..
Fuck that.
When I was a sm, the dc got told off the same as my dc...
You have become an unpaid and unappreciated maid op.

Starlight2004
Thank you, I didn't know that was the treatment regime for PMS.

You're behaving like a spoilt brat. You took on him and his children. He's working to support you all. You'll just have to stick it out until he gets home.

What an idiotic post. Taking on him and the kids doesn’t mean she should tolerate bad behaviour like that. Do you think only birth parents have the right to some respect from their kids? Or is it that you allow your kids to treat you as a doormat because you decided to have them?

Spoilt brat? WT actual F? What on earth in the OP's posts have given you the impression that she's spoilt? Because she's kindly agreed to look after her step children, who she is fond of, whilst struggling with mental health issues, and got a load of fighting and lip for her trouble? That's really not my definition of spoilt or bratty. Marrying a nan with children means you accept and welcome his children into your home and have a pleasant and hopefully eventually living relationship with them. It doesn't mean you have to put up with behaviour like that on your own whilst feeling mentally and physically unwell. Why is it so hard for you to understand that? If the children behaved like this at school would you not expect their teacher, in loco parents, to call their parents?
What a spiteful, unhelpful and unnecessary comment.

@R2519
Totally agree.

I think usually the bashing of SM's on here is really awful.

I wouldn't advise a woman go near a man with children.

The OP sounds lovely.
Glad the children aren't usually this bad.

But kicking and slapping each other is terrible behaviour.

It is not normal behaviour at that age. They are not 2 or 3.

I have 4 children who definitely can be a major PITA at times, but i have never had to deal with that.

Oh and it is ridiculous to say these children are in any way her responsibility.

Her husband is a part time resident parent.
They are his responsibility.
His alone.
Those children have two parents.

I think it's fantastic when step parents decide to become involved.

Obviously, if you marry someone who is the main fulltime resident parent then I think you have to be on board to be involved with family life.

But if its EOW etc...then their father needs to be the main person looking after HIS children.

Too many threads on MN of men re-marrying quickly, and step mothers effectively taking over the parenting and slog that these fathers are more than happy to ditch.

I certainly wouldn't put up with this behaviour if I was minding someone's children.

I wouldn't hesitate to tell them to come and collect.

Hope you feel better soon OP

OP, they have behaved badly for you, not for their DF. In order to have some credibility you're the one who needs to deal with it. If they think you can't keep control then they'll continue to behave badly on your watch. You've done the right thing splitting them up in different rooms and removing screens. In your shoes I'd have done the same, and given them dinner in their rooms too. Unless you're really too ill to look after them, don't ask their DF to come home to take over, you're undermining yourself by doing that.

*You're behaving like a spoilt brat. You took on him and his children. He's working to support you all. You'll just have to stick it out until he gets home.

There's no way you'd be behaving this way if they were your children.*

Stfu footywife. When I read posts like this I just assume the poster sucks up to their husband with a big ass spoon. Yes sir, no sir, I won't disobey you sir. I'll do anything your heart desires. 🤢 gag me with your spoon you're sucking up to your husband with.

For those who don't know certain anti depressants can be taken during the luteal phase to treat PMDD/severe PMS and it's becoming a more common treatment.

This is correct & the other posters who didn't know, you shouldn't be posting flatly contradicting OP & telling her what her medical regime should be! Fair enough if you just don't know but asserting stuff like, you're taking ADs wrong, without having a clue what you're saying, is actually dangerous.

As well as the above being correct, GPs often prescribe ADs at a sub-clinical level to counteract mild anxiety or severe PMT, in this case they are taken daily.

There's a few options. I've found this treatment highly effective.

I wouldn’t take that off my own kids so never mind someone else’s. I’d absolutely call their father to come back

You're behaving like a spoilt brat. You took on him and his children. He's working to support you all. You'll just have to stick it out until he gets home.

There's no way you'd be behaving this way if they were your children.

That's a funny way to speak about someone that's doing a colossal favour for her H and his Ex. And they aren't her kids - drawing a comparison between them and her own imaginary offspring is ridiculous because it is a situation that literally does not exist.

Love the way men offload the care of their children on everyone else.

That's as stupid as saying 'Love the way women offload maintaining the family finances onto the man', he's gone to work, not on a jolly.

I'd try and manage for the rest of the day but I'd say I was not prepared to have them on my own again. So when they visit, either he is there or HE arranges childcare. Not you

Love the way men offload the care of their children on everyone else.

Do you think the mum has offloaded the care of her children too then?

OP do whatever you need to, to get through. Sounds like its calmed a bit and only you know how much you (plural you) need the money from DP work.

Last week my DC were being giant asses to DP andthey knew I had an invigilation on zoom that couldn't be interrupted or the learner would risk failing her course due to a specific deadline and that could easily cost me my job.

So they both got put in their rooms for an hour and DP sat on the stairs to keep watch until he heard me close the session down. I instantly hugged him told him I loved him and sent him into the garden with a beer. My DC then got a giant bollocking and lost screen time for the next two days.

Lockdown is hard as helk and my DC were struggling. But play up and have an impact on income or stress your caregiver to the point they did and it has a consequence.

Dp is a grea step parent , but both he and I start to lose our minds occasionally, he steps up very much but that doesnt mean he should have to take extreme behaviour and nor should I. If DP had had to interrupt me , I'd not have blamed him but DC would have had consequences they were still living with when they were 35 and had beards.

OP good luck and ignore the bosom hoikers who think because your a SM you should grovel for crumbs....they are irrelevant idiots who have little else in their lives.

Oh, and part of me ringing their father, was me going into them and saying in a very quiet voice, 'you have behaved so badly I don't trust myself right now. So I have called your Dad, who will have to come home from work, and he's not going to be very happy about that. I think perhaps you need to reflect on your behaviour, and whether, perhaps, with hindsight, you would do something different. . .'

Or words to that effect.

user3274826, wtf are you on? Troll off.

I hope things have been resolved and the children have apologised for their behaviour.