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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my husband he'll have to come home from work now.

156 replies

CanIScreamPlease · 25/05/2020 16:14

I have absolutely had fucking enough today.

I am minding my step children whilst DH has had to go into work (self employed but had a job on today).

The kids are being absolutely awful. They are arguing, fighting, shouting at each other. I am so fed up I feel I could literally scream. I've had to put them in seperate rooms for the afternoon. I'm about to ring my husband and tell him to come home because I really can't be fucking arsed with it any longer.

I know it sounds like a ridiculous excuse but I'm on my period and I have really bad problems with low mood when I am, so much so that I've seen the GP and been given ADs to take 10 days a month because of the low mood.

I am at my absolute wits end with them today and I am so angry. I feel like if I hear one more moan or argument I'm going to just drive them to his work and drop them off.

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 25/05/2020 16:25

You have done the right thing.
When we fought with siblings we were put in our rooms.
I did the same with my DC.
Fighting is not acceptable behaviour. It is rude and inconsiderate.
How old are they?

zscaler · 25/05/2020 16:25

I don't want to miss the point but antidepressants prescribed for 10 days a month sounds unusual, many of them take a few weeks to have any effect.

I totally agree with this - it’s very odd. OP I would revisit this with your GP, because antidepressants require weeks of constant use to start working properly. Taking them 10 days a month isn’t going to help!

Sarahandco · 25/05/2020 16:25

Can their Mum come and get them?

Original poster
CanIScreamPlease · 25/05/2020 16:25

This isn't a regular occurrence, their mum was called into work though today and he asked as he had a job on he could do with getting done.

I didn't mind originally but they have turned into absolute devils today. I could cry.

OP posts:
user8558 · 25/05/2020 16:26

Do we know how old they are?

Physical fighting in unacceptable.

It's not fair to have to tolerate this behaviour unless you are able to discipline them also.

madcatladyforever · 25/05/2020 16:26

Love the way men offload the care of their children on everyone else. i wouldn't stand for it, look after your own kids mate.

endofthelinefinally · 25/05/2020 16:26

Sorry, Xposted. I see they are nearly 10. Old enough to behave.
Leave them in their rooms until your DH comes home.

Original poster
CanIScreamPlease · 25/05/2020 16:27

Re the ADs, I thought it was standard for PMS?

I might just start taking them every day.

OP posts:
Andi2020 · 25/05/2020 16:28

Send them to bed

user3274826 · 25/05/2020 16:28

Too many unknowns, but it's entirely normal for kids to fight and argue and be loud and annoying. If you can't handle the odd day of that, then you shouldn't have chosen to live together. By all means, call him home. But then make steps to live seperately. If you can't handle helping out so he can work and pay your joint bills, then you shouldn't have joint bills/a shared home.

Newuname199987 · 25/05/2020 16:29

Certain ADs can be prescribed for pms and not taken every day, or there can be a lower dose each day and an increase for part of the cycle.

Original poster
CanIScreamPlease · 25/05/2020 16:29

It sounds pathetic but I just want to shut the door and get in bed and let him deal with whatever discipline he wants when he gets back. I just don't have it in me to do this today, I feel so shit.

OP posts:
HeckyPeck · 25/05/2020 16:29

YANBU call him OP.

EL8888 · 25/05/2020 16:31

I would. Not my kids = not my problem. It’s bank holiday

Original poster
CanIScreamPlease · 25/05/2020 16:31

User, it's not just one argument. It's been constant all day. Shouting at each other, hitting, pinching, shouting that they were going 'kill you', snatching, back chatting me, crying and screaming when I've shouted at them to stop.

It's been ridiculous. I understand kids argue but they have been absolutely horrid today.

OP posts:
Starlight2004 · 25/05/2020 16:32

For those who don't know certain anti depressants can be taken during the luteal phase to treat PMDD/severe PMS and it's becoming a more common treatment.

OP if you are struggling with this and feel unable to cope then yes ask him to come home. And tell him not to leave you with this responsibility again at this time of the month.

HeckyPeck · 25/05/2020 16:32

Too many unknowns, but it's entirely normal for kids to fight and argue and be loud and annoying. If you can't handle the odd day of that, then you shouldn't have chosen to live together. By all means, call him home. But then make steps to live seperately. If you can't handle helping out so he can work and pay your joint bills, then you shouldn't have joint bills/a shared home.

What a ridiculous, but sadly predictable response to a stepmum.

Don’t expect support on here OP. Too many posters waiting for a chance to bash a step mum.

Your DH should definitely be the one to discipline them. He can deal with them when he gets back and in the meantime they can stay in their rooms.

Sittingontheveranda · 25/05/2020 16:34

Kids fight. Take them out for a walk, they need to let off steam. You can sit on the grass while they run races, hop, do exercises. Or put on Joe Wicks if you don’t feel well enough to go out.

I wouldn’t ring him tbh.

Original poster
CanIScreamPlease · 25/05/2020 16:34

For those who don't know certain anti depressants can be taken during the luteal phase to treat PMDD/severe PMS and it's becoming a more common treatment

Yes that's what I was told by the GP thanks. Before I started taking them it was like I was severely depressed for about a week and a half of the month. Crying all the time, feeling like my life was worthless, wanting to quit my job and walk out etc. I do feel better than that now but it's still hard during this time.

OP posts:
Original poster
CanIScreamPlease · 25/05/2020 16:35

We've been out already. Trust me, I've tried.

OP posts:
user8558 · 25/05/2020 16:36

User, it's not normal for kids to fight. Maybe your, not mine. And I wouldn't tolerate that behaviour from children in my care either

Original poster
CanIScreamPlease · 25/05/2020 16:36

They aren't usually like this. We do have problems with hitting / punching / pinching which he's trying to deal with but I've never seen them like today.

I imagine it's probably fueled by lockdown boredom and missing their friends but it's been ridiculous.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 25/05/2020 16:37

Sending you ThanksThanksThanksThanksThanksThanksThanks

Redredwine99 · 25/05/2020 16:38

I would call him and ask him to speak to them.

I also suffered with severe PMS/PMDD and the mirena coil has been life changing for me.

mbosnz · 25/05/2020 16:38

It's hot, you're all shut in, and you've all had a bellyful.

I'd be telling them they'll be staying in their rooms, until they're prepared to come out and apologise to me (a real apology, not just sorry, sorry, and what they're sorry for), and promise to each other not to fight again in any way shape or form, and the minute one so much as looks at the other funny, they'll be back in their room.