To tell my husband he'll have to come home from work now.

[CanIScreamPlease]

I have absolutely had fucking enough today.

I am minding my step children whilst DH has had to go into work (self employed but had a job on today).

The kids are being absolutely awful. They are arguing, fighting, shouting at each other. I am so fed up I feel I could literally scream. I've had to put them in seperate rooms for the afternoon. I'm about to ring my husband and tell him to come home because I really can't be fucking arsed with it any longer.

I know it sounds like a ridiculous excuse but I'm on my period and I have really bad problems with low mood when I am, so much so that I've seen the GP and been given ADs to take 10 days a month because of the low mood.

I am at my absolute wits end with them today and I am so angry. I feel like if I hear one more moan or argument I'm going to just drive them to his work and drop them off.

*Today 17:00MarkBrendanawicz

if he called me to come home and deal with bad behaviour I would be most unimpressed

Really? I'd probably be highly embarrassed that my children had acted so appallingly and be nothing but apologetic that he'd had to deal with that. I'd also be mightily pissed off with my kids too.*

Yes really! We live together, all together as a family, he knew I had children when we met and we have since had children together. I would absolutely expect him to be able to deal with bad behaviour!

Stupid question "What would you do if they were your children?" Always comes up on these threads. Always stupid.

They aren't her children.

Being the unpaid nanny isn’t fun. He could be at the park sitting about with a beer for all you know.

If it keeps happening I’d be re-evaluating the relationship.

User3274826 You need some counseling for your traumatic past because you are really projecting on this poor,stressed out Stepmom.

Yep tell him to come home.

I used to be left in this position all the time with step kids. I hated it. They liked it as they could get away with anything as they pretended I didktn exist. And then they hated it when we tried to get some semblance of a working household where I wasn’t treated like a skivvy. Honestly men seem to do this a lot I’m afraid!

And honestly he should never ever be leaving you to parent without him. You are in an impossible position as a step mum.

Sometimes it works, but only when the step mum is acknowledged and respected, and the kids feel the same about the step mum. Anything else is neglectful of the actual parent.

I’d just say no from now on. You are not their parent or child minder.

Do you know something I came on here expecting you to get hell for that post, mumsnet don't seem to like Stepmums very much!
However I'm shocked (and pleased for you) at the support.
I'm a stepmum and it's so so hard so totally sympathise with u!
Let your husband deal with it when he's home, and u pour yourself a wine and have a relaxing bath
💕

The kids behaviour is a red herring. You're feeling not well. That's the important bit. Def ring him and let him know you're not feeling well - he can sort tea out etc.
Sounds like you are normally on top of things and would cope with them no prob - and you've still dished out a reasonable consequence for their behaviour which they've followed. So back chatting aside they do respect you.
I'd go for screens back, acknowledge you shouted and you don't feel well. Do go to bed for a bit.

Children of that age,should be able to behave better, when told to do so. Do they not have things to occupy themselves. It is not normal for children to be fighting and arguing all day long.
I wouldn't phone your Husband though, if he is at work, making money,

I understand the OP's frustration.

However were the OP posting about being summoned home from work by her partner because he couldn't cope with the stepkids, it would be manchild this, LTB that.

Maybe it's fuelled by them being able to tell you don't want to look after them?

Classic MN stepmom bashing, boringly predictable.

If I were babysitting someones kids (which you are doing) and they were physically fighting so much i had to put them in different rooms, I would ring their parents.

I will never understand the general dislike towards step parents on MN. I see so many threads telling women to LTB and you can do much better, basically advocating breaking up families, then when someone who has done that gets into a new relationship MN hates the step parents. You couldn't make it up. Its just fucking ridiculous!

I've called my DH home for my children when I've been sick and they've been revolting, because it was rapidly devolving into an unmanaged situation that had the potential to get very, very bad indeed.

And at 10 they are more than old enough to keep their bloody mitts to themselves, and exert some self control. They need to learn to walk away. Important life skill - how to remove oneself from an upsetting and escalating situation.

I will never understand the general dislike towards step parents on MN. I see so many threads telling women to LTB and you can do much better, basically advocating breaking up families, then when someone who has done that gets into a new relationship MN hates the step parents. You couldn't make it up. Its just fucking ridiculous!

So true.

Cant believe some of the posts on here!

Step parenting is bloody hard work. And children do often play up more when alone with step parents. They are probably sick of lockdown, annoyed they arnt at their main home and using the fact your not mum or dad as a reason to be slightly worse.

If they are old enough to understand I would chat to them about how it made you feel, explain what they did to upset you and that actually youd love to have them again without dad next time mum and dad are both busy but for that to happen they need to behave or it cant happen again.

Hopefully it was just a bad day. Were having lots of those here atm! I think lockdown is taking its toll on us all.

Hats of to you for being a hands on step parent, it's certainly not easy!

If I were babysitting someones kids (which you are doing) and they were physically fighting so much i had to put them in different rooms, I would ring their parents

That with bells on. Ultimately they are not your children and they are way too old to be behaving that way (I know for some people that would be the norm, but it is honestly not standard behaviour). If my child was acting like that, I would have also send him to his room without a screen.

Don’t let people get to you with their prejudices about what step mums are, you did the right thing, you acted towards the behaviour in the way any responsible and exasperated parent would do, but I would say that as they are not your kids, it is perfectly reasonable to call their dad to deal with the situation if the kids are misbehaving beyond the pale, they are his kids, if he and their mum have let them behave like this all the way to this age, it is them who have to sort the behaviour not you.

Marrying a man doesn't mean you have to take responsibility for raising the children he already had with someone else. These children have two parents who should be bearing the brunt of raising them. It's nice if you can help, but physical fighting is extreme behaviour, and ultimately it's up to their mother and father to do the heavy lifting of nipping that in the bud.

When your husband comes home, I'd have a serious discussion and come up with a plan for what to do if/when this happens again. At the very least, he needs to have a serious talk with them. It's his responsibility-- not yours.

OP don’t give them back their screens today, they don’t deserve them. Let them understand that their behaviour wont be tolerated. No screens, no tv, they can stay in separate rooms and read.

If you do this each time they argue and fight they will know what to expect in future.

Do you have children, OP? Cus, well, welcome to all of our Worlds!!

The poster has clear said she likes them doesn't mind looking after them has a good relationship with them .
The stepmother bit is irrelevant they've just been on nightmare and she's had enough .
Sound like she's on top of it just a very bad combination of feeling unwell and kids being nightmare.
To be blunt kids smell weakness start threating to bring dad home you undermine yourself .
On the plus side the kids know you mean business and will follow through .

However were the OP posting about being summoned home from work by her partner because he couldn't cope with the stepkids, it would be manchild this, LTB that.

Not from me.

OP has said this doesn’t usually happen, just that their mum had to work and she didn’t mind looking after the kids when originally asked. It sounds like the kids usually aren’t as bad as this and the situation was further made worse because OP isn’t feeling well. Lots of people making it into something it’s not, OP hasn’t said there’s a big problem most of the time or that she feels she’s being constantly left to raise someone else’s kids. She did what any parent, step parent or anyone looking after fighting, misbehaving children would do. She separated them and took screens away. There doesn’t have to be any more drama than that if OP is otherwise happy with how things are. Hopefully dad will come home, tell them their behaviour was unacceptable, they’ll apologise and everyone will move on.
Hope everything is still calm OP and your feeling better. Their dad will be home soon, I think I’d have a nice early night with a book and leave them to it.

Antidepressants make you feel even worse for the first two weeks of taking them. You're either not on antidepressants or you're taking them wrong.

You need to sort that quickly.

The children may be picking up on your mood and reacting to it.

you’re