That it’s women who are still locked down?

[Sadie789]

My DH goes back to work next week and rightly so, long overdue in my opinion.

However, I can’t go back to work as with two young DC we have no childcare and it’s not possible to do my job from home.

Under normal circumstances without childcare it wouldn’t really be an issue as there would be classes and clubs and play parks and soft plays and friends to meet up with, so a full weekly schedule out and about with things to do.

I can’t take them to the supermarket or round the shops either, no grandparents allowed etc.

As it stands none of these things are available nor are likely to be for a while, so for me my situation has not changed from the initial lockdown - stay at home, go out for exercise (weather permitting).

Meanwhile my DH and the Hs of my friends are all back at work out of the house living normal days. At the weekends the golf is back on so that’s a leisure option.

Many of my friends are also trying to work from home while looking after children, some also homeschooling older ones.

Women who don’t have children are also on the back foot as many of the professions which are traditionally female - hair and beauty, retail, hospitality - remain closed and will be for some time.

Meanwhile men are back in the workplace. When furlough ends it will be those who are able to present for work and give all their attention to their job who are preferred by employers. Recruitment will be skewed by this too. It’s the traditionally male industries that are able to return earlier- outdoor and manual work.

When it does return childcare is likely to be limited in hours and more expensive- Scotland has quietly dropped the 30 free hours from
August that were going to make it financially viable for me to work. Now it’s going to be a matter of me earning a couple of hundred pounds extra per month instead of nearly £1000 that was previously the case.

I am far from a feminist, but it feels like any equality women had gained is being seriously eroded by lockdown and the exit strategy that has deftly avoided any conversation around how women, especially with younger children, are getting the raw deal.

Nothing to do with feminism, if you and your friends have become default in taking a back seat and working whilst looking after the children then that’s because you have allowed it to happen that way in your family- if it’s due to logistical reasons, then again that is your families choice you are making.

My partner never assumes I automatically look after the children because I’m female, or do the housework, it’s 50/50 and I wouldn’t be with someone who was lazy or didn’t pull there weight across the board.

Women play golf too- it’s not a male only sport

Yes. I feel for women who are working outside the home and still cooking, cleaning , looking after elderly relatives and kids after their paid shift finishes.

Some of you live in a hell of a middle class, privileged bubble.

(although I appreciate many of the women I just mentioned could be middle class too!)

And I say that as one whose deal included having cleaners. Guess what, no cleaners now!!

Why is that @fascinated because we don’t tolerate male partners doing nothing, so we can do it all? That doesn’t make me middle class, it makes me sensible.

Sigh. There’s no ‘choice’ in it, we’ve been conditioned from birth by millennia of patriarchy. That doesn’t mean you and your partner can’t acknowledge this and discuss but to all the pps calling it a choice, look at the wider political, economic, social, cultural and historical context in which these ‘choices’ were made.

@Snowdown24 just because you are in a situation with a partner who does 50/50 etc doesn't mean there aren't structural inequalities preventing other women achieving the same.

It is the same as people who claim that because they went from being poor to having lots of money anyone who is still poor just needs to work harder.

I love it when a post starts with "Sigh".
It means it's not worth reading and I can skip past it.

@JasperRising

Well said.

My son is furloughed doing the childcare, his wife is working. My DD is working her husband is WFH.

It isn't one size fits all, you aren't happy with your circumstances but it doesn't follow that everyone is the same.

Saucer of milk for @siring1.

@Pogmella

Also well said.

@Snowdown24 I’ve never said at any point that my partner doesn’t look after the children 50/50 (when he is not working) or that he assumes I’ll do the housework because I’m female (if anything he does more cleaning than me, and all the cooking) and he’s far from lazy.

In fact I resent your implication of such.

As I’ve already said earlier in the thread this is not about my personal circumstances so much as it’s about how the government is planning to facilitate women going back to work - or not as the case appears to be right now.

Thanks Queen
Meow!!!!!!

I'm certainly not doing th lion's share of cooking, cleaning and homeschooling when I get home from work. My husband and I are usually equal in the amount of household jobs we do as we're both full time. At the moment however, whilst I'm working he is doing the vast majority as he's at at home all day.

Sadie I agree. Decades of research shows repeatedly that women in heterosexual relationships do the lion's share of childcare and housework, regardless of how much they and their partner each work.

Additionally, women's pay on average is 1/5 less than men's. So in the great majority of households, it makes economic sense for the man's job to be prioritised.

This is structural inequality, regardless of what arrangements individual households have.

Yup-Pretty much women holding the fort but as usual just do it, smile and be sweet because no one really believes it happens/gives a s**t.

You are right. In our house I earn way more than my husband but I can work from home so I'm expected to hold together a full time high pressure job while home schooling three kids.

Didn't read all the fucking thread but declaring you are 'far from being a feminist' is one of the ignorant, kick in the fanny, ungrateful to your predecessors who fought for YOUR rights I have seen for a while. And then you complain about your inequality.

The critical thinking is rather low with you.

Ok babe, calm your tits.

@Sadie789

So is your post about politics in actual fact? Is it about the Tory party not dealing fairly with women during this pandemic? I am still really confused as to what point you are trying to make

Nice

yanbu about women being at a disadvantage, but yabu to say you are "far from being a feminist". Why say it like it's a negative thing?

Women here insisting they're coming off worse because they earn less/earn more, have to work/can't work.

When people are divided, as they are in lockdown, some are worse off. There are plenty of men who are worse off too at the moment, and whose female partners are happier/safer/easier done to.

If you happen to be worse off/less happy/less safe, and a woman, that doesn't make it a feminist issue. Otherwise, what are you calling it when it's the man who's worse off? Or is there a false claim that the men are fine because the golf courses are open? That claim would be sexist in itself.

Lots of women with 50/50 balance of domestic tasks with their men on this thread. Yet that doesn’t seem to be reflected in surveys etc done on the population as a whole. How representative is Mumsnet, I wonder?

Perhaps the women who are busy doing it all don’t have time to post on here. It’s a mystery.

I find this op hilarious.

Always moaning about feminisim yet unhappy that your male earns more than you and suprise, surprise has more freedom

Newsflash! Maybe if you were a bit more in favour of feminisim op, you could have got yourself a job that earns a wage where you don't have to be beholden to a man 'because he's the higher earner' (whinge).