That it’s women who are still locked down?

[Sadie789]

My DH goes back to work next week and rightly so, long overdue in my opinion.

However, I can’t go back to work as with two young DC we have no childcare and it’s not possible to do my job from home.

Under normal circumstances without childcare it wouldn’t really be an issue as there would be classes and clubs and play parks and soft plays and friends to meet up with, so a full weekly schedule out and about with things to do.

I can’t take them to the supermarket or round the shops either, no grandparents allowed etc.

As it stands none of these things are available nor are likely to be for a while, so for me my situation has not changed from the initial lockdown - stay at home, go out for exercise (weather permitting).

Meanwhile my DH and the Hs of my friends are all back at work out of the house living normal days. At the weekends the golf is back on so that’s a leisure option.

Many of my friends are also trying to work from home while looking after children, some also homeschooling older ones.

Women who don’t have children are also on the back foot as many of the professions which are traditionally female - hair and beauty, retail, hospitality - remain closed and will be for some time.

Meanwhile men are back in the workplace. When furlough ends it will be those who are able to present for work and give all their attention to their job who are preferred by employers. Recruitment will be skewed by this too. It’s the traditionally male industries that are able to return earlier- outdoor and manual work.

When it does return childcare is likely to be limited in hours and more expensive- Scotland has quietly dropped the 30 free hours from
August that were going to make it financially viable for me to work. Now it’s going to be a matter of me earning a couple of hundred pounds extra per month instead of nearly £1000 that was previously the case.

I am far from a feminist, but it feels like any equality women had gained is being seriously eroded by lockdown and the exit strategy that has deftly avoided any conversation around how women, especially with younger children, are getting the raw deal.

This is total bollocks. You have chosen to be with a man who earns more than you. You as a family have decided that he goes back to work because he earns more. It is not a woman thing, but a choice each family makes. I am currently on mat leave, but if I wasn't I would be going back to work and my partner stay at home with the kids as he will do even without coronavirus. Because he is a SAHD and I unfortunately fell in love with someone who has less earning capacity. I would prefer staying at home whikst he goes to work, but that's not possible. 😭

Is this not just a personal choice? You earn less so his employment takes priority?

Op your not being unreasonable and yes it was very quietly mentioned that the 30hrs would not longer be a legal requirement for August.

People will end up making their own risk assessments and doing what they can to get back to work. Even if it means mixing households, Grandparents etc etc

Fwiw, feminism isn't always man hating.

I think a lot of men would benefit if women earnt similar amounts to them, if they weren't forced into this long hoirs bread winner role, if they got equal parental status and rights and if there was good quality affordable childcare.

@fascinated nannies are allowed to work at the moment.

Have they been allowed to work throughout? For more than one family?

@fascinated - yep, it was clarified, but someone coming into your home to work has been allowed throughout. They can go to another home as well on other days (if say they only work 2 days with one family and 3 with another, that's fine).

Isn't it amazing how the objective choices of different independent families time and time again result is a massively disproportionate negative impact on women.

It's almost as if something else were going on

Woman who has effectively created a mini patriarchy in her own home is angry at feminists because she now realises that this is impacting her personally.

I’m fed up with these threads.

It’s so bloody obvious, it’s staring us in the face.

But no. It’s OUR FAULT.

If a nanny is allowed to work is different houses, is a babysitter allow to too?

Can a babysitter, bring children to work?
Can a babysitter look after other children in the babysitters house.

I earn more than my husband. I am going back to work after having our second child. He is staying at home with our children.

It depends on your own circumstances.

Why is staying at home with children seen as a bad thing anyway? Why should progressing in a career or earning a certain amount of money be seen as more important than raising people? It’s not an easy job and no, men can’t necessarily do it as well as women. Why not be proud of that instead of belittling the role and making it out to be the raw end of the deal. I’m sure plenty of men would rather be at home spending more time with their children rather than being crammed on public transport and sitting in an office all day.

@Blackbear19 - A babysitter can come to your house and look after the children of that household. They can't bring other children with them, because you can only go into someone else's house if you are working (and the babysitter's DC wouldn't be working). You can't drop your DCs at someone else's house to look after them. (So childminders can only have key worker children for now).

No, I'm going back to retail on June 1st. DP is not working. We don't have DC though. I'm the breadwinner.
And most of my female friends are working right now.
My team at work is all female bar one. Most have children inc very young ones

I agree with Rubyroost. Can't speak for all, but most of my friends and co workers who are female, earn more than their male DPs.

Doesn't it just come down to who in the couple happens to be the higher earner? I'm working, my DH is providing childcare because I'm a high earner & he isn't. He took parental leave for 6 months after I took 6 months maternity. I have many friends who earn more than their partners & are currently working while their male partners do lions share of the childcare. Likewise, when decisions were made around part time working. Surely it's about what jobs you've trained in and not exclusively due to being female?

Onve lockdown ends can't you team up with 4 other mothers and all have each others kids for one day a week? That way everyone can still work 4 days.

I’m far from a feminist

@Sadie789 do you believe that men and women should have equal standing, equal rights, equal responsibilities in this world?

Yes?

Then you are a feminist.

Don’t do other women down by treating it like a dirty word.

And yes, you are right...at a population level (we all know people who buck the trend of course) women are suffering under the burden of work in the home, home educating, caring responsibilities to a much greater extent than men. The majority of women will have taken on additional roles with no clocking on and off, the need to change roles multiple times a day, while being responsive carers.

*Ok.

What I have learned today is that people do not read posts on MN before commenting.*m

Are you new

Doesn't it just come down to who in the couple happens to be the higher earner?

It can do yes, but sometimes to gain equality you need to make sacrifices and finances might be one of those.
We went with the lower earner, I earned far more than dh, but when it came to it, at the time I chose to be a sahm.
He cut back his hours when I wanted to study.
Then when we both worked we managed between us, no childcare, no family to care for our dc, we had to do it ourselves, we managed.
It's what's important to you as individuals and then as a couple that's important, not society or an employer, they are irrelevant.

I do empathise childcare is hard for everyone

But I dont sympathise with mums who claim inequality. Every mum here was once a girl, who in this country receive an education and could study towards and train in almost anything a boy could (I say almost because there are some vocations that you will always be at a physical disadvantage)

If you earn less than your DH before, during or after the lockdown, you made that choice as an individual and/or family unit at some point.

I totally disagree that it's women who are locked down

The question is, why do so many women choose awfully paid jobs? I don’t get it, never have. Its not that hard to get into a decently paid profession. Women a d girls need to be aware that their choices will have long lasting consequences.
Btw, I have a degree in one of the typical female subjects. Its what you do with it that matters, and taking responsibility for your choices.

I feel the same OP.