is 15yo dd eating too much?

[nuttyveg]

i've posted on teenagers, but i haven't gotten many responses, so i thought i'd post here for traffic.
15yo dd has been eating more recently and i don't know if it's too much or not, she's a healthy weight, not like a beanpole but not fat.
today she's had
2 slices of vegan cheese on seedy toast and a milky coffee made with oat milk and stevia for breakfast
about 5 wedges, 4 mini falafels, 3 oreos and a small handful of salt and vinegar crisps for lunch
4 more oreos as a snack
and will be having chickpea and roasted vegetable soup for dinner with a slice or two of seedy bread
and homemade apple cake with custard for pudding
and she usually has a bowl of cereal with oat milk before bed, so i imagine she will tonight too.
thank you for any responses

@WokeUpSmeltTheCoffee thank you

I don’t think it’s very much at all. My daughter has had today: bowl of fruit, chocolate twist (special treat as shopping finally arrived), piece of toast, lunch: pate and crackers, cheese and tomato sandwich, humous and dips, dinner: chicken and butternut squash curry, rice, salmon, salsa, fruit salad and cream. That’s not unusual. She’s 5’7 and about 6.5 stone, very slim. However, she is massively active, dancing about 2 hours a day. It’s all in proportion of what you are burning off. I only wish I had her figure and her exercise regime.

This is not a lot of food. Soup for dinner isn't going to do it for a growing teenager, a more carby dinner is needed, hence the late cereal!

@ArthurChristmas2 thank you

@nuttyveg I've just seen the update. I'm sorry for not reading through properly, I really hope you get some support.

@turnthebiglightoff thank you so much

Oh poppet. This is exactly why no one wants to be 15 again. ED as I’m sure you know are about control which at 15 you have very little.
All I can say is that’s it’s a long game.
Granted you’ve still got the early 20’s to go with it’s horrible sense of competition but Hang On In
By the time you’re late 20’s you’ll be fit, gorgeous and sorted.
And you’ve got all the great bits to come; the career , kids if you want lovely partner.
Ride it out. Life gets loads better once you sort out what makes you happy and you actually have some sort of choice in making it happen.

I am no expert but I think you need to stay away from calorie counting, restricting and banned foods

Can you try to turn it around and say yes to yourself a bit more. Say what you positively are going to eat not what you are avoiding eg try to aim to get your 5 a day fruit and veg and 60g protein (lentils, beans, chickpeas, hummus, nuts, peanut butter etc. Even a vegan protein powder to put in a breakfast smoothie)
Do you cook for yourself? Do you like cooking? Can you try out some vegan recipes and freeze portions?

After that you have whatever you like Oreos, ice cream or whatever but you may not feel like it so much.

You've your whole life ahead of you and it would be so sad to spend it trying to avoid food which is a great pleasure in life. I wonder if you can try to find ways to enjoy it in a healthy way.

All the people I know who maintain a healthy weight long term are not obsessed over food or exercise they do stuff like walk daily, take the stairs, cook most food from scratch but they still eat cake and desserts and don't beat themselves up over it or try to compensate. It's the choices you make most of the time that matter not the odd packet of Oreos.

@Leflic thank you this was really helpful and made me feel a little more positive

Sounds fine, also sounds tasty

@WokeUpSmeltTheCoffee yes sometimes i cook for myself and sometimes my mum makes a dinner for us all and i do like cooking i was going to make a peach and raspberry pie tomorrow. i've done batch cooking and freezing before with things like chickpea curry which i could try to do again

Peach and raspberry pie sounds delicious! Well done for reaching out advice, OP, and good luck with it all.

@CharlotteCollinsneeLucas thank you

Stop the Oreos? She’s a teenager for Heavens sake!! I’d just be glad she’s not necking vodka and White Lightning.

nuttyveg Yeah we’ve all been there.
Frankly the weight of contradicting expectation is enough to drive anyone mad ; look like this, don’t look like that, be kind, be assertive, work hard, be fun.
Honestly, it gets better!

That's a pity, OP. Are you Home Educated because of the MH reasons you have been seeing CAHMS for? I'd suggest that you write down what you would want to say and keep it safe - that way, if you can't bring yourself to say the words, you could hand to somebody you trust, like your GP (you could post it or email it or stick it through their letterbox whilst you're taking the dog for a walk as long as you give your name, address and date of birth so they know it's you...)

If you like oats, then making porridge (or overnight oats, the only difference is that for this, you add the non dairy milk to the oats and then stick them in the fridge overnight) is healthy, satisfying and good for you - once it's hot, all you need to make something lovely is add as much nut butter as you want, maybe some yoghurt (coconut/soya) and then some syrup over the top. Maybe add bananas, berries or whatever you fancy at the time (Any left over peach and raspberry would be fantastic)? Adding cocoa powder into the soaking oats or some dairy free chocolate/chocolate coconut yoghurt (which is delicious) when the oats are hot?

I think you'll get the pleasure of having something that tastes sweet but without your energy levels crashing a short time later - which, when you are so hungry, is why you find it difficult to stop at one or two Oreos.

It's fine to eat a load of Oreos when you've been undereating for so long, don't get me wrong at all (and you're still undereating anyhow) - but you're more likely to feel sick and guilty with them than you are a lovely, lovely bowl of oats with all the flavours you like.

Chickpeas are brilliant. So are other beans and pulses. So are veggies, potatoes, fruit, rice, grains and nuts/seeds. Eat them, enjoy them. Enjoy the feeling of feeding your body so you are strong.

And if this all feels too difficult or overwhelming, please, please, try to tell somebody so you aren't carrying this on your own or by trying to get help from people who are so young, they are trying to find their own way as well.

You are not eating too much. But you are trying to take too much on your shoulders.

Let people who are more able to do it try and ease your burdens a little.

Bless you. You’re very brave to have come on here and admit you have issues around eating. It proves you want to be healthy and love yourself and your body. You’re so young and have the whole world in front of you. I know it perhaps it doesn’t feel that way right now.

I do not have any info to offer about veganism. You have had some information/ advice upthread about ensuring you’re getting the right nutrients to sustain your body on a vegan diet. I imagine there’s plenty more online.

As for bingeing, idk how much you are eating and whether it actually is bingeing per say. All I can tell you is that your body won’t want the same amount of food every day, especially as it is still growing. I think this is even more pronounced for postpubescent females than males as our hormones fluctuate over the month.

Perhaps planning in advance would help to reduce any fears you’re experiencing. How much do you and how much do your parents cook for you? Would it help to plan your meals and have a variety of snacks to hand?

Do give yourself some leeway to eat more some days than others. It is better to evaluate what you have eaten over the course of a week or two rather than the specifics of the day. For example, perhaps some days will be more protein based, others more carb.

Sweetener makes you carve carbohydrates

Bloody hell, you want to meet my 2 year old then!

Today she’s eaten;
Bowl of cereal
Half an Apple
2 oranges
Packet of crisps
2 small kinder bars
Babybel
Sandwich
Cucumber
Tomatoes
Mini twister
Small battered sausage & chips / mushy peas
15 oz milk

She doesn’t stop all day though!

@MitziK yes i am homeschooled because of those reasons. thank you so much for taking the time to make write such a long message it really means a lot. i'll definitely try making some overnight oats tonight.

@Mummyoflittledragon thank you so much this was so sweet. yes i do want to work on loving myself and i do try to plan my meals in advance. i usually make my own lunches but my mum sometimes makes a dinner for all of us to have rather than us all making our own.

my plan for tomorrow food wise is

breakfast - vegan bacon sandwich made with one slice of bread and a small bowl of frosted shreddies with oat milk, and probably a milky coffee with stevia
lunch - half a can of veggie chilli with extra beans so i can get some extra protein and fill me up more, with rice, and soy yogurt and vegan cheese on top
dinner - i'm not sure yet, but it might be anything from vegetable soup, to chickpea curry, to quorn nuggets and potato waffles, really anything
snacks - some of my peach and raspberry pie, and i'll try to have a blueberry smoothie with vegan protein powder mixed in to again get some more protein

nuttyveg your diet is MILES healthier and more varied than mine was at your age. I wasn't even remotely health conscious or thinking about how much protein I was getting.

@nuttyveg I’ve obviously never met you but I can say hand on heart that you are beautiful just the way you are. Try not to worry about what is “normal”. Focus on eating a range of foods including all the food groups and make sure you eat plenty of fruit and veg. There is no need at all to feel bad about eating biscuits/crisps or cake. They are just food and nothing good comes from seeing them as bad. Bee Wilson’s How to Eat is a great book about why we fall into unhealthy food relationships.

I’d urge you to consider finding someone to chat to. BEAT is a great charity that can point you to some resource. Eating disorders are miserable and lonely things but it is entirely possible to work through food issues and come out the other side with a completely normal relationship to food. The Year I Didn’t Eat is an uplifting book by someone who did just that.

Hang in there and try to focus on other things except food.

That's not loads for Teenager no. I understand you're a concerned parent but please don't give her a complex