is 15yo dd eating too much?

[nuttyveg]

i've posted on teenagers, but i haven't gotten many responses, so i thought i'd post here for traffic.
15yo dd has been eating more recently and i don't know if it's too much or not, she's a healthy weight, not like a beanpole but not fat.
today she's had
2 slices of vegan cheese on seedy toast and a milky coffee made with oat milk and stevia for breakfast
about 5 wedges, 4 mini falafels, 3 oreos and a small handful of salt and vinegar crisps for lunch
4 more oreos as a snack
and will be having chickpea and roasted vegetable soup for dinner with a slice or two of seedy bread
and homemade apple cake with custard for pudding
and she usually has a bowl of cereal with oat milk before bed, so i imagine she will tonight too.
thank you for any responses

I would recommend a B12 and an iron supplement. I (vegan) take both every day and have noticed an improvement in my energy levels since I started doing so.

I would also recommend adding some nuts and seeds to her diet. These are a great source of minerals such as zinc, as well as protein.

Vegan cheeses aren't all created equal. Some are very low in protein and high in fat. I would say that tofu or nut butters would be better.

How about making a big salad or plate of cut up veg for her to snack on?

I really would not make a big deal about the biscuits, especially now with all the stress everyone is under. Focus on adding more nutritious food instead.

Off topic: re Oreos the real issue for vegans is the unethically sourced palm oil, rather than trace amounts of dairy IMO.

No! Don’t make her a plate of veggies to snack on. Don’t tell her what to have for breakfast. Don’t spy on her and control and count her wedges and biscuits.
Look at your own issues and deal with them before you inflict damage on your dd.

Poor kid, she's going to pick up on your obvious issues.

she's eating most of her meals with me. so i know what she is eating. for breakfast she has had a bowl of frosted shreddies, a coffee with oat milk and stevia and a slice of seeded toast with marmite and vegan cream cheese. we're having homemade pizza and buffalo cauliflower for dinner tonight. she's making a peach and raspberry pie today, so we might have some together as a snack or before bed. i'm not sure what she'll be having for lunch or snacks yet.

My 4 and 7 year old eat more than that and are in the 25 centile for weight.

Hi OP, eating threads always go very weird on MN as there are a lot of posters who do competitive undereating.

That looks like a perfectly normal teenage day. She eats smaller meals so having more snacks makes sense.

As she’s 15 really the best you can do is model normal eating and buy what you’re comfortable with. She’s heading out of the age range you can control what they eat and soon she’ll be more and more in control and you really can’t feel responsible for her weight.

As you’ll know, women’s bodies change a lot in the young adult years so she will change over the coming years and your job is to not think that’s all down to you/for you to have an opinion on.

You’re doing fine! Don’t worry! And even if she did put on weight/lose loads of weight that would not be all, or even largely, about you or your parenting.

Why even write your original post if what she ate that day wasn't even typical. Considering your DD doesn't normally have a pudding or any oreos I'd say she's not eating enough rather than the other way round! You are obviously not completely over your ED OP, and I would get some phycological help for that before it seriously affects (if it hasn't already) your daughter.

Why do you think that is a lot of food, in fact so much food it’s worth commenting on!!
Yesterday my 3 (age 9, 11 and 13) and are all slim (boys are skinny beanpoles) has

Breakfast
Either a bowl of cereal or a toasted bagel with nutella
Fruit

Lunch was a flalfal, houmous and spinach wrap for DD, peanut butter and banana sandwich for youngest and cheese and pickle sandwich for eldest. They also had a handful of crisps, a nectarine and some cherry Tomatos

Dinner was roast chicken (with nut cutlet for DD) roast potatoes, cauliflower cheese, carrots, parsnips, swede, broccoli, leeks, stuffing (not everyone had every type of veg)

Pudding was fruit salad with a squirt of cream.

9 year old DS then had another toasted bagel with a class of milk before bed.

They all had a couple of snacks during the day but I don’t keep track. They are eating more than they would if in school

OP, I realise you want to post a true representation of the breadth of your DD's diet, but don't forget we're strangers on the internet. For your mental health, maybe you should think about stepping back from the thread now? Food discussions can be addictive - and the temptation is to question yourself after reading each post. What you really want is to distract yourself totally from the topic.

Make sure you keep supplying plenty of fruit and veg, then switch off from it. You're right to let her make her decisions about breakfast, lunch and snacks. Just realise that if she makes poor decisions some days, that is her business to monitor. I believe if we let our teenagers make some mistakes and show that we trust them to sort them out, then they're less likely to make massive mistakes in their twenties! (I say that as someone who went down the massive mistakes route after little experience of independence as a teen.)

I agree it’s a good idea to take a break from this thread OP - I’m not sure it’s helpful.

My advice would be just have healthy food in, buy treats in a weekly shop and once they’re gone they’re gone, and leave her to it. It’s ok if she gains a little weight over lockdown. Or outside lockdown for that matter!

Why not go for a lovely long walk with her today and talk about something fun and interesting like what books you’re reading or whatever, and just take a step back from the whole issue of food (and this rather intense thread!)

It looks like most posters have seized this as an opportunity to list what they/their DC have eaten. 😂

OP please just stop

You arent doing her or you any favours.

It really doesn’t sound like a lot AT ALL. I just mentally listed what my 13 year old ate yesterday, but then realised she had no fruit and veg whatsoever, so I’m not putting it in here to be ripped to shreds! It balances out overall, and as long as that’s the case in your house then you’ve nothing to worry about.

What I don't understand op is what you mean by "too much"? Too much for what?

@formerbabe yes my thoughts too. What is too much op?! And why?

she's eating most of her meals with me. so i know what she is eating

Seriously? I eat most of my meals with my son (a few years older) and I really, really would not be able to tell how many slices of cheese he'd had, let alone remember it hours later. That's because I am looking at him, not his plate, I am talking to him about what happened in his day, not thinking about his food intake.

YOU NEED TO STOP PAYING ATTENTION!

I see OP is back on 10am this morning with another list. @CharlotteCollinsneeLucas says For your mental health, maybe you should think about stepping back from the thread now? Food discussions can be addictive - and the temptation is to question yourself after reading each post - I don't think the OP is questioning herself at all, that's the problem. She thinks what she is doing is some sort of squad goal and she's not going to take any notice of posts unless they say her DD IS eating too much.

Doesn't seem like alot to me and it's all mainly healthy

I would be incredibly careful about broaching diet to a teenager, especially a girl. Especially one who you say can often hit 10 fruit and veg a day.

I can't remember what my toddler eats most days and I make the meals 🤷🏼‍♀️ OP needs to back off DD is 15 nearly an adult and can make her own food choices and there are no issues regarding being overweight

this thread is shocking. OP, with respect, you need to back off. my auntie did a similar thing to my cousin (who was a perfectly normal size 10) and it caused her to have really low self esteem. she refused to ever be in pictures, used to pull back her face (think a faux facelift) and called herself fat all the time. its seriously unhealthy

Soup & bread as a teenager would leave me hungry an hour later. I ate 3times that & was a bean pole, on healthy cooked from scratch meals plus endless bowls of cereal & toast. It doesn't a sound a lot or, very substantial to me, it's all very 'snacky'.

today she's eaten a bowl of cereal, a slice of toast, coffee, 2 vegan burger patties, golden vegetable rice, a tub of vegan ice cream, a bag crisps, and will be having a homemade pizza for dinner

If OP wants to keep indulging in writing everything her daughter did eating despite hundred responses telling her not to... then we should all ignore her instead and she won't stop obsessing and us commenting is fuelling her obsession.
Her poor poor daughter will be lucky to get through her teen years without an ED with her obsessive mother monitoring and counting her every morsel and posting it online for others to critique

That’s fine. Now please stop monitoring your dd for calorie intake. As veganism is new to both of you, perhaps be curious about how she is meeting all of her nutritional needs and take the opportunity to ask her if there is anything else she thinks she should be eating or she would like to cook you or you to cook her etc.