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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think not many ppl have close relationship with in laws?

117 replies

jollybobs89 · 22/05/2020 09:50

Just curious as to how many of you have a good relationship with the in-laws??

I mean like a relationship like you'd have with your own family??

Or whether you have one solely for the children's sake?

OP posts:
zscaler · 22/05/2020 10:00

I’m very close to my parents in law. They’re both great, my MIL especially is a dream and I am so lucky to have her. I don’t think many people have exactly as close a relationship with their in laws as they do with their own parents, but we are really close. Spend alternate Christmasses with them (and while I miss my family when not with them, we have as much fun with Christmas at my in laws), see them regularly for meals, birthdays, outings, holidays etc. We have a baby on the way and I know they will be absolutely lovely grandparents.

I always feel for people who have difficult or unpleasant in laws. I know I’m incredibly lucky to have mine, who are so nice and fun and supportive.

Drivingdownthe101 · 22/05/2020 10:01

I do, they’re fab. They live in Spain so we don’t see them as often as my parents but they’re great.

Cabinfever10 · 22/05/2020 10:02

I have an amazing relationship with my in laws yet am NC with my own parents

LakeTittyHaHa · 22/05/2020 10:03

My in-laws are wonderful and I actually prefer them to my own parents sometimes. My parents can be a little bit intense and there is often some low level drama going on, whereas my in-laws are just lovely and chilled. I’m lucky to have them.

vanillandhoney · 22/05/2020 10:04

We don't have children and I get well with my in-laws. They often look after the dog for us and I pop in a cup of tea or coffee on the way back from dog walks (they only live 10 minute walk way).

The relationship isn't the same as the one I have with my parents but I think that's totally normal. We've never argued or had any issues, though. Normally I see them once a week or so though I've not seen MIL since before lockdown. I've bumped into my FIL a few times when out with the dog and we've stopped for a chat.

LouiseTrees · 22/05/2020 10:04

I have two sets of in-laws from the same husband. Get on really well, better than with my own parents, with one set. Like literally will take advice from them about anything, first people I turn to. Other set not so close.

moveandmove · 22/05/2020 10:05

I am closer to my in-laws than my parents.

AnxiousAnnie13 · 22/05/2020 10:06

I'm closer to my in laws than my parents. We've moved in with them for lockdown so they could help us with looking after DD while the nurseries are closed and we're working from home.

Spied · 22/05/2020 10:15

My MIL doesn't see me as 'hers' and I'll always be an outsider.
DP is her only DS and she thinks the sun shines out of his ass.
I once heard her at a family party telling someone that I wasn't 'right' for her DS (We had 2 DC and had been together 9years at this point).
She's a very jealous woman and since having the DC this has got worse.
I'll never be fully accepted and I'm actually happy with that.

SnuggyBuggy · 22/05/2020 10:17

My relationship isn't bad but it will never be like my own family

DappledThings · 22/05/2020 10:20

I love mine. My relationship with MIL is often easier than my relationship with my mum. Same as my SIL's is with my mum. Comes without all the childhood baggage. We met as adults and we like each other.

Mammyloveswine · 22/05/2020 10:21

I love my in laws! They are the most genuine people I think I've ever met! So lovely!

nokidshere · 22/05/2020 10:35

I had a great relationship with my in laws, they were lovely, kind and supportive people. They never interfered in our lives and were a huge part of our family. FIL died before I had my 2 boys sadly and, for the last 11 years of her life, MIL lived next door to us.

gabsdot45 · 22/05/2020 10:42

I'm very close to my Mil. She lives really near us so we see her more than my parents.
I'm probably closer to her than DH is.

Microwaveoven · 22/05/2020 10:52

Mine our fantastic. Mother in law is very caring, helpful and full of wisdom. I grew up without a Father and Father in law Is like a Dad to me. I know they would do anything for me. It's lovely. Smile

31133004Taff · 22/05/2020 10:58

It’s a reality check when people divorce how unnatural it can be to maintain a relationship with in-laws. There’s a strong sense that one is merely a guest in the family.

Lubeylube · 22/05/2020 11:03

I dont like my in laws and my son in law doesn't like me.

bluebell34567 · 22/05/2020 11:05

distanced is better.

Slave2love · 22/05/2020 11:19

We get on perfectly fine but I dont love them and wouldnt be sad if i never saw them again.

Mistymonday · 22/05/2020 11:37

My in laws are not in the UK but I prefer spending time with them than my own parents as they are more family minded (my folks are fairly self involved, old hippy boomers).

Mistymonday · 22/05/2020 11:39

I am still shocked by how kind and generous they are to their children, rather than expecting to be looked after.

Windyatthebeach · 22/05/2020 11:41

My ils have always treated dh despicably and am glad we haven't seen them for over 5 years..

Mustbethewine · 22/05/2020 11:41

I get on with my in laws but not close. My DP is close to his DM but has a much closer relationship with my DM 🤷‍♀️

Coldilox · 22/05/2020 11:42

I’m very close to my PILs, they are lovely people.

Justcallmebebes · 22/05/2020 11:55

FIL sadly now dead and MIL has dementia and is in a care home but my relationship with them was great even though I left their son over 20 years ago. I still see MIL every week (well did pre CV). They loved my daughter and that is good enough for me

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