To think not many ppl have close relationship with in laws?

[jollybobs89]

Just curious as to how many of you have a good relationship with the in-laws??

I mean like a relationship like you'd have with your own family??

Or whether you have one solely for the children's sake?

Mil is great zero drama! Find my own mam spoilt used to her own way over the years.

Love mine. My MIL is a wonderful lady.

I love my in laws! They’re literally my second family.
I got with DH 11 years ago when I was 16 and he was 18. I was the first ‘proper’ GF/BF that DH or any of his 3 siblings had and DH’s only girlfriend, don’t know if that helped maybe?
We’ve all been though allot together also and our families all get on like a house on fire.

If we got divorced tomorrow I would miss DH’s grandparents but not his parents or sister. SIL doesn’t like me and I’ve come to the conclusion that after making an effort for 11 years I’m no longer going to bother. MIL is alright and we get along but it’s obvious that SIL is her favourite and she will often cancel things/opt out of helping us in favour of doing things with SIL, including when he asked for help from her on my behalf with our toddler as I was struggling with hyperemesis when he was working. I find it difficult to hold my tongue because although my parents aren’t the easiest of people they’re always fair with their treatment of me and my brother and I hate how his parents and subsequently his sister treat him as the lesser child. It breaks my heart when I see him making so much effort that is never reciprocated. Thankfully his Nan loves him and is always there for us if we need her, recently we’ve been posting her books and wordsearches to keep her busy in lockdown as she lives alone.

My favourite IL is his cousin’s wife - we enjoy a good rant about SIL’s behaviour to each other!

Love my in laws. 13 years ago I gave birth to my first child whilst my DM was dying in a hospice. They were the first to visit us and immediately went to Tesco to print photos, frame some and take them to my DM just in case she didn’t they chance to meet DS. She met him the next evening and died a few hours later. The compassion they showed at that time I will never forget. They truly are lovely people.

I'm not close with my MIL. She is a very very loving, caring and giving woman, but for me I find it too much and too full on. She messaged several times a day and would love to visit and spend time with me several days a week, but I think it's too close. I like to keep in laws at arms length, however not really sure why.

I have an amazing relationship with my in laws as does my husband with my parents and step parents. Couldn't imagine it being an other way. Our families have a great bond all in all

It depends what they're like and what you're like, surely. Somr people are warm and friendly. Others are cold and judgemental.

My PILs are bloody marvellous. I definitely got the better IL deal.

Hi lovely to read so many positive IL posts!
Mine is not a nice person and after almost 40 years putting up with her appalling behaviour, I now have nothing to do with her. Dh is torn - he feels a sense of duty although he admits he doesn't actually like her. She treats him badly and it breaks my heart to see him so upset.
I am, however, grateful to her for one thing - I make sure I treat my own DILs in the opposite way to the way she has treated me and so far, it works! I suppose, technically, as they are not married, they are not DILs, but in my heart, they are. They are very different but I get on well with both of them, we are lucky that we get to look after dgs a few days each week. We see them quite a lot outside of childcare times. We help them out quite a lot in different ways and DILs know they can ask us rather than having to always go through ds's. I love both of them as though they were my daughters and we treat them equally to our ds's.

Im not as close to my MiL & FIL as I am my own mum (I’m not sure many people are) but they are fab. I miss them during lockdown and looking forward to seeing them when this is all over

I’m actually closer with my DH’s parents than I am with my own. My parents claim they mean well but often judge my parenting and would rather spend a fortune on our kids buying unnecessary gifts than spend quality time with them just enjoying their grandchildren. My in-laws on the other hand are really loving kind people who listen to me and dh and are there when we need support or just a shoulder to cry on. They don’t see my kids as much as my parents do but when they do spend time with them it’s quality time doing things they know the kids will enjoy. They are so easy going and happy but my parents are getting slightly more bitter and opinionated the older they get. I feel so at home walking into my in-laws house and my dh always jokes they like me more than him lol.

We got on fine before I had children.

Then MIL was obsessed with proving SHE was the mother of the family and I way below her in the pecking order. If she was around, I wasn't needed or necessary.

She's calmed down a lot now (my eldest is 7) but I've never got over it.

I’m very impressed with pp who have good relationships with mils. Now divorced, I am massively grateful I will never have to see ex-mil again.

I have avoided any relationships where the mother is still around ever since. Never again. I’d rather stay single.

My mil was lovely. She passed away a few years ago.

Only on MN is there such Mil hatred. None and I mean none of the 40 or 50 women I know, have such relationships.
All are varying degrees of fine, or ok.

We aren't close. They aren't very kind or generous people, I find it difficult to understand where they are coming from a lot of the time. DH is not the favoured child.

It annoys them that I won't accept them as surrogate parents, but I genuinely don't feel any bond with them so I don't see things that way.

They have not exactly been hands on grandparents and that suits me, as I have no desire to be a very present DIL either.

I will not be caring for them in later years, though I fear this will come as a shock to them.

Never knew estranged FiL, but MiL is fantastic. She occasionally used to say some rather cutting things to my wife about our not having children, but mostly they have a great relationship. She's really nice to her other son-in-law too.

My wife gets on very well with my parents even though she doesn't see them that much.