To think not many ppl have close relationship with in laws?

[jollybobs89]

Just curious as to how many of you have a good relationship with the in-laws??

I mean like a relationship like you'd have with your own family??

Or whether you have one solely for the children's sake?

My PIL are lovely and we get on well, but I certainly am not as close to them as to my own parents. I would never talk to MIL about breastfeeding or periods or weight loss like I would with my mum. I would never be able to live with them and even going on holiday with them for a week would probably be awkward.

I see them as more like an aunt and uncle type figure rather than a parental figure.

I'm also lucky in the PIL department.

MIL provides childcare (lockdown aside) 3 days per week and she is very involved with the kids. She dotes on the youngest who she has for the full 3 days and who is disabled

More than this I genuinely like and care for my MIL. I can happily spend time with her (like nothing more than to go out for dinner and a few glasses of wine with her). I trust her judgement and she is the first person I'd go to with any problem, concern or issue. She is also the first person I'd go to with good news!!

I have a good relationship with my folks too but MIL is the person I'm dying to see when this is all over!!!

I had a much better relationship with my (ex)PILs than I do with my own parents. They're both really lovely people. Sure they've got their foibles, but everyone does.

Their son is an arse, sadly. They are aware of this. But he's their son nonetheless.

My PIL are great, MIL usually looks after DS one day a week , I text her separately of DH and we have a family group chat where we message pretty much daily. They also get on really well with my parents and much to the horror of most of MN we holiday with PIL, my parents, DB SIL and DNs (DH is an only there are no siblings left out). Not every trip but at least once a year abroad and sometimes a UK trip too

I have had no relationship with my inlaws for 20+ years , although now MIL is widowed I will drive her to appointments occasionally if dh is too busy at work although I’ve only started doing that this year . My dh was very close to my mum and dad prior to their deaths and has a great relationship with my sister , he helps with all her DIY , gardening etc . He’s much closer to my sister than his own brother .

I was incredibly close with my FIL before he died. He was the dad I never had, he was fantastic. Me and my MIL are polar opposites and I do find her hard work

I love my inlaws and my dh loves my family, to the extent that we blend both. My sister often comes with us to visit dh's family and my bil is her elder daughter's godfather.

I have a wonderful relationship with my in laws, better than my own family (not difficult).

I had a good relationship witH DHs mum (she’s passed away now). Get on well enough with His dad (they weren’t together), but not close.

DH gets on very well with my parents.

We often do joint Christmases too with any combination of rellies that fancies it. No compulsion at all.

Mine are great. You can see exactly where my husband gets all the things I love about him.

My own parents both died before DH and I married and I really value still having parent figures in my life even though I am 46! They are just about to read a bedtime story to DS via Skype while I have a G&T. I really miss their visits.

And like above we do all blend together - so we could have my parents, his dad and also say my SIL’s dad at a Christmas get together etc.

DH doesn't like my family, he tolerates for my sake. Only ever hear from SIL when shes had a drink.

Mine are nice people but we aren't really close. However his family aren't as close as mine anyway. They just tend to do a phone call or text every week.

They are also very elderly and dont travel, so we don't see them much. We have 2 under three and boisterous toddlers are a bit much for them now if we go to stay.

They could be my grandparents age wise and that's more how I see them i think.

They are lovely though and I consider myself to have been lucky in law wise.

No, never. And I dont understand people who say their inlaws are terrible and have awful behaviour etc but they want their children to have a relationship with them. Why would you do that,?

NC with one of my own parents, my in laws (particularly MIL) are lovely. Unobtrusive but always helpful and caring, offering support where we ask for it. Both love DS as their first grandchild and absolutely spoil him, but without overstepping the mark/doing anything we're not comfortable with. My own DM is slightly more overbearing, so we see considerably less of her 🤷🏼‍♀️

I like my PiLs. They are kind and supportive, loving people.

I also get on well with SiL, regard her like a younger sister and we text a lot.

I'd like to be close as my parents are dead, but years of DH being treated as a second class citizen compared to his sister, and subsequently our DC has tainted it for me.
They are kind enough on the face of it, but massively old fashioned and don't do 'fun'. I'm kind of resentful all major occasions are now spent with them tbh.

Drivingdownthe101..you hit the nail on the head. They're in a different country That helps..

Mine had sadly died now but I had a great relationship with them my husband also has a great relationship with my parents and I also do with my son in law I think it's more common than mums net would indicate

Both are very nice people.
We are just not close. It never really happened that I feel relaxed in their company.

I adore my in-laws.

I lost my mother when I was a child and my MIL lost hers as a young adult so when I became a member of her family, my MIL understood me better than most people. We built up a very respectful relationship.

In my culture (I'm Mexican-American), we hold our female family members to very high esteem. She is more than my MIL but more like my Aunt. That's a high honor, indeed.

I live in the US right now but my husband and I are trying as hard as we can to return to the UK to be close to her and my FIL (I lost my own father nearly a decade ago) and spend as much time as we can with them.

DH doesn’t like my mum, which is vindicating for me because I don’t either, yet most people seem to think she’s marvellous. He likes my dad but due to my mum’s sheer arseholeishness we see them twice a year. I could never see my dad without her - there’s no show without Punch 🙄

I’d only met DH’s parents a handful of times before his mum died unexpectedly. She was lovely though and I’m sorry she’s gone. I really like his dad and he only lives five minutes away (my parents are safely on the other side of the country) so it’s easy to pop round - when not in lockdown, of course!

@dustybluebell true