Don't want to Zoom with friends

[Petals23]

6 friends are organising Zoom drinks tonight for the first time during lockdown. I really don't want to participate, it's not my thing. We've been in touch with each other via WhatsApp etc. Anyone else said no to zooming?

I don't enjoy zoom gatherings either. I love to keep in touch with individuals though, ideally on the phone like in the olden days! I think it's lovely that the facility is there for people who do enjoy it, but it's not for me.

i don't mind zooming but I can't take more than an hour...I've noticed that when I say 'right, I'm off now' for whatever reason, most people look relieved and make their excuses to leave too. It's like no one can end the call...

Using zoom/Teams for work and having done curry nights/quiz nights with friends during this I'm definitely over it. DH has just signed us u o another "virtual dinner party" tomorrow.... I don't even like calling people so zoom and the forced full on nature of it is negative to me. Its wooden, stilted, sound dips in/out/ you cant play music which is hugely important to me in socialising/having people over, it just doest come close to flowing as a face to face meet up would. After this weekend's I'm going to force myself to say no more for at least 2 weeks.

I get what you're saying op. I've done zoom with groups and it's a pain in the ass, it's laggy and only one person can speak at a time. It's ok with just two people but anymore and it's difficult to have a decent conversation.

I really love the ones I do with my friends every week. There's no pressure to join in and some some along for 15 mins to say hi and some stay for 2-3 hours. I set them up as I have a paid for account so don't have to keep redoing the calls every 40 mins. I'm no extrovert but it's important to see other people and keep your friendships going and while we are locked away I still want to connect with my friends. We do quizes or games sometimes but mainly chat. It gives me a little lift each weekend.

YANBU. Much prefer phone calls or WhatsApp.

Awful things

Shudder

I'm in the "hate it" camp. The sound is so bad it gives me migraine. Everything lags, so there are constantly awkward, unnatural pauses in the conversation. Everyone seems to be looking at a different spot somewhere near you but not at you. (In reality their probably looking at themselves just like you are.) It's impossible to get any kind of natural conversation going. When you're in a larger group in a room together, you tend to break of into smaller groups and this is impossible on Zoom, so you're just taking turns to speak, like you're in a work meeting. Not my idea of fun.

YANBU. I haven't zoomed once, or face timed anyone, or whatever it's called. I wouldn't know where to start tbh and it holds no interest for me. I don't get it, my family know what I look like and can ring me if they want to speak to me.

I don't really like video calling, we've had a couple of facebook messenger chats amongst my friends but it seems to have petered out now and I'm not sorry.

Zoom does my head in, it's not the best quality and I can't figure out who to speak to and who can see me or not, as not everyone has a split screen on.

I don’t see that the introvert/extrovert distinction is particularly relevant tbh. For a start it strikes me that a lot of people on MN say ‘I’m an introvert’ as a way of saying ‘I’m special’, I’m not sure it’s a very serious psychological term, and according to stupid online quizzes I’m an introvert and I’ve actually been pleasantly surprised by zoom. If you don’t want to do it then fair enough OP, but the “extroverts are the WORST” posts are annoying.

Agree it's not helpful for either 'camp' to pathologise the other, but in general I tend to see far more extroverts putting down introverts than vice versa. Claiming introverts are trying to say they're special is quite the put-down actually. If introverts tend to 'spell out' the fact that they're introverted, then imho it's because we're living in a world that's almost wholly geared towards extroverts and sometimes we do need to spell out why certain things are hard for us or just not our cup of tea, simply because it's not considered 'the norm'. Some people who are more extroverted genuinely seem to struggle to get it and tend to presume we are shy or unhappy.

FML Three months of isolation and the introverts still aren't happy.

This is a really pointless and immature comment. I'm an introvert and I'm not happy, but that's because I miss seeing my family and friends as much as extroverts presumably do. I'm sure I'm far from alone as an introvert in feeling this way. It's pretty offensive to suggest just because some of us hate Zoom calls we hate people in general. I agree with those on here who have expressed difficulty with the medium of video calls, I find it hard too and personally would be happier just messaging/phoning friends and family until lockdown eases and I can see them in person. That's not the same thing as disliking people/socialising at all.

IMHO some people in both camps could do with brushing up on the definitions of 'extrovert' and 'introvert'.

You do get that minority of introverts with an "I'm so deep I don't need other people" vibe but most of us just get worn out from too much socialising. Doesn't mean we don't like it at all.