Don't want to Zoom with friends

[Petals23]

6 friends are organising Zoom drinks tonight for the first time during lockdown. I really don't want to participate, it's not my thing. We've been in touch with each other via WhatsApp etc. Anyone else said no to zooming?

hat I disagree with is being made to feel guilty about someone else's mental health just because you don't want to zoom.
who's making you feel guilty? Do what you want.

Of course it's nowhere near like real life, but we hardly have a choice at the moment. Some of you might have the luxury to live in a small village and be at close distance from friends that you can normally see when you like, others have people spread all over the place and we rely on technology to be in touch, it's quicker and more personal than writing letters.

I've used Zoom for years as it's great for talking to people overseas. I now use it for various groups, including my Art class which works great. Not sure I'd want to be on it all day though.

I find Zoom meet-ups are fun if not too big, but use Zoom at work and can easily get Zoom fatigue. So I limit it and keep a day Zoom free each week. Unfortunately my DM loves it and wants to video chat all the time, it’s a bit much as there’s nothing new to tell.

I'm so communicated out with work with MS Teams, WhatsApp, facetime etc that by the time evening comes around and friends want to Zoom I just want to retreat to the sofa or do some sewing. I'm usually very sociable and love a good chat but finding the constant electronic communications too much, plus they always seem to schedule them during DS bedtime as they want their slightly older kids to see each other and join in quizzes. Thankfully all of my friends understand and don't apply any pressure.
OP - do what you've got to do to take care of your mental well-being at the moment.

packamack
I found your comment funny--I'm assuming it was meant in a semi serious way. I'm a total exteovert- love zzom chats and quizzes. My sister told me she couldn't face another and and will be glad if lockdown lasts forever as she's an introvert.
Different strokes for different folks, eh?

I hated it , no social cues and either silence or people talking over each other

I'm really not a zoom fan. It's awkward and glitchy. People talk over each other. Signal drops and it's just not the same as having a proper chat for me so I'd rather go without. I much prefer texting and whatsapping

Yanbu , nothing wrong with Zoom but I don’t feel the need to have zoom chats every weekend

I think every other week and in small groups is best for me.

but then don't gripe if you don't get included in stuff in RL

You’d be some arsehole to exclude your friend from plans because they didn’t act in a way you deemed acceptable during an unprecedented global crisis.

I don’t see that the introvert/extrovert distinction is particularly relevant tbh. For a start it strikes me that a lot of people on MN say ‘I’m an introvert’ as a way of saying ‘I’m special’, I’m not sure it’s a very serious psychological term, and according to stupid online quizzes I’m an introvert and I’ve actually been pleasantly surprised by zoom. If you don’t want to do it then fair enough OP, but the “extroverts are the WORST” posts are annoying.

I've done two group calls and don't really like them. I never know whose turn it is to speak and after half an hour I've had enough but there's no sign of it winding up.

Locked down extroverts are a pain in the arse is the phrase that wins the thread.

Before reading this thread I'd thought that my main motivation for joining in these video conference calls is that people's noses might be put out of joint if I decline. Having read the thread it looks to me that my concern was about right.

I would video call, but not om Zoom!

“I never know whose turn it is to speak and after half an hour I've had enough but there's no sign of it winding up.”

Me too. It’s hard work.

I hate these Zoom ‘meet-ups’. But then I hate all types of organised fun and I’m quite introverted, so it’s just not my thing at all.

I have one tomorrow. Friend (who I love dearly which is the only reason I'm doing it because I'll fucking hate it) has sent an invitation for a 'virtual prosecco and nibbles' evening for about 6 of us. There's so much wrong with that sentence I don't even know where to start.

So I'll be there necking vodka, stuffing my face with pringles getting quietly pissed and trying to 'ha ha, great' in the right places. It'll be fucking dreadful but she's lonely so it's for a good reason. Wish me luck.

I don’t do any kind of video-calling. I just don’t think seeing anyone adds anything - I can tuck my landline phone under my chin and talk whilst cooking, gardening, in the bath, whatever. I talk like this for hours every week to my adult children so it’s not that I don’t like catching-up!
Don’t do it if you don’t want to. (I know my eldest said some colleagues had a drinks ‘social’ one Friday on zoom and she pretended her glass of water was gin as she rarely drinks.)

FML Three months of isolation and the introverts still aren't happy.

despairs

Phone calls and video calls cause major anxiety for me, I end up making excuses for why I can't join.

FML Three months of isolation and the introverts still aren't happy.
Oh I'm happy. Possibly happier than my extrovert friends who are coping less well! I just prefer to talk to people on the phone individually than on zoom in groups. Whereas my temporary housemate is zooming with his mates having a great time must evenings.

Yet we're best friends and he doesn't sneer at me or think I'm a misery just because I don't enjoy the group video chat thing. Because we both understand that people like different things. Which seems to be something that many MNetters don't understand.

I've got one tonight. Just a small group.
Am shattered but going to try stay up for it.
Really enjoyed it last week.

I really don't enjoy the drinking, party type meetings on Zoom, too much pressure to be lively and have 'fun'. Prefer just a quick general chat with friends but only once in a while.

In the week I'm not interested as I spend eight hours each day in MS Teams and making phone calls. In the evenings I just want some peace and quiet. But I enjoy zoom drinks with friends on a weekend if it's people I know well and feel comfortable with. There have been times when we've had a zoom meet up planned and I've been feeling a bit meh and I haven't particularly felt like it, but I always end up enjoying it.

The fucking quizzes on the other hand

@pictish, if it's technical issues with Zoom give Discord a go. The DC have found that better for some meet ups than Zoom.