To feel my employer are suddenly discriminating because I have a young child?

[Tayo23]

I work for a government dpt where it is not usually commonplace to be able to work from home. On 19th/20th March when the schools closed, I was asked in work if this would impact me in regards to childcare - it does, and I was offered a laptop to work from home which I gratefully took.

At this point all my colleagues (except for a minority shielding or in similar positions) remained in the office every day as there were a lack of laptops for them - it was BAU. I worked remotely from home, with colleagues in the office uploading my (and other remote workers) work. A week later my office closed (a non-critical govt dpt) however I have continued to work from home since then although my colleagues without laptops were not working at all. My partner was furloughed a week or so after my office closed so has been a great help keeping 4yo entertained.

At the end of April my office advised those without laptops must return to the office one day a week on a rota basis to upload, (to maintain social distancing). I was not asked because it was understood I was working from home. Last week they provided everyone in my office (around 80 people) with laptops. I have now been told that because everyone else now has a laptop, I am now too required to work one day a week in the office, and spend the rest of the week working from home.

My partner returns to work next week. I now am in same position as end of March before lockdown re childcare. They are allowing me to take special leave for the one day a week I can’t come into the office, for 4 weeks. After then I have to use annual leave. I have repeatedly stressed I am willing to continue working each day from home. I just simply cannot leave my child at home alone. My partner is unable to get paid leave off and we would struggle without his pay.

AIBU to feel this way, they understood initially and accommodated me which I was extremely grateful for. I have worked each day whilst my colleagues barely have done until now, but now they too have the facilities to work from home, the goalposts have been moved.

I am not happy being told when to take AL when I have not asked for any time off. Do I have a leg to stand on here if I take this higher than my own line manager (who robotically regurgitates things without much compassion or consideration for people’s individual circumstances)

If you stay at home to look after your DC someone else would have to go in as the work needs to be uploaded
But it's about fairness to everyone in the team. Otherwise, everyone could come up.with reasons to work from home and not come in the office.

Almost all the people I know who've been furlough or working from home have been told that they had to take some leave before end of June if they haven't already so they don't end up with people all wanting it later in the year. Its totally reasonable. I don't get at all why OP thinks it is wrong when she is not prepared to look for a childminder prepared to take on her child.

but it's not your employer's problem to accommodate lack of flexibility from your DP's employer.
I agree.
I also find it amazing how it's always father's who have employers who are inflexible, who can't take leave when children are sick, who can't be expected to make an equal sacrifice during a national crisis.
Yet for whatever reason there's mums up and down the country expecting their employers to bend all the time around the fact they have children.

Children have two parents and it's about time both were expected to equally share the load.

So @Cinderella66 as someone who isn't allowed to work from home because all of my colleagues with children are and someone has to be in the office, am I also being discriminated against?

OP it sounds like you’ve been able to get by so far wfh without having to split your hours or work early/late to accommodate childcare/home learning - without taking any leave (paid Or otherwise) - due to your partner being off. I can kind of see why your mindset is against taking leave - mine was when this all kicked off. But I think you’ll realise pretty quickly (as I did!) that trying to wfh effectively with kids on your own is bloody hard and whilst employers ought to be flexible and accommodating yes, it’s not sustainable long teen. Hoarding your leave so you get a ‘proper break’ later in the year is impractical and unfair on your colleagues. These aren’t normal circumstances. You aren’t the only person with a child and compromised all round need to be made. At least you can Wfh the other four days! In all seriousness, what do you think employees who can’t wfh are doing in these circumstances?

dontdisturbmenow

I was waiting for the MN typical ‘entitled’ to be thrown at me . Congrats on the most scathing response yet!

To defend myself would be repeating myself again. As for ‘employees like me’ making it a nightmare - I cannot leave my DS home alone. I cannot bring him into the office. I’ve worked continuously when others have not yet have still been on full pay. My colleagues are literally telling me they would rather be in the office. My employer wants me in regardless. This situation is not my doing and nobody’s fault.

I have mentioned a childminder. It is not allowed at all yet that I use a childminder. I am not a key worker. Nurseries and schools have not opened again yet and are unlikely to open in my area on 1st June. Think some people are forgetting that I am talking about this in the context of the time we’re in right now. Not usually.

They have decided on their procedures, knowing that even if some have to take AL there will still be enough to cover the office. This is to save on having to do each employee on a case by case decision which would more likely bring discrimination accusations.

So what's the answer @Cinderella66? Employees with children just get unlimited time off, don't have to make any compromises or use any of their leave simply because they have children?

I have always used annual leave to cover for things like this even outside of a global pandemic, I would assume most people have at some point.

I work for a firm of solicitors, even they (who deal with employment law daily) have suggested parents may need to take unpaid leave/holidays on occasion if they can't do what's needed. There have been lots of compromises because this is an unprecedented situation but it can't go on forever, at some point even parents will have to be flexible with their work/leave.

I cannot leave my DS home alone. I cannot bring him into the office

No. So you take leave, like everyone else.

You shouldn't get to hoard your annual leave whilst other people do the work you can't do so that you can then use it all up at the end of the year

I think they are very good to accept your “working from home” 4 days a week whilst simultaneously looking after your young child, As you would not realistically be able to do a proper full day’s work whilst looking after a 4 yr old!

Tayo23

I’s your husband saying any of this to his employers though? Is he stressing out? I bet he hasn’t or isn’t!

It seems down to your employers to facilitate yours and your dh child care issues

Come back when your dh has had the same conversation with his employers

Also, you have a partner so he could also take leave every other week for the day you work in the office

I think this is difficult for everyone really .Your Employer has been very decent about it so far I think .You have been working from home on full pay for the best part of around 2 months .Obviously they were not expecting it to go on for so long in all honesty.Presumably we will be "unlocked" at some time in the near future(hopefully)! Perhaps then you could ask a family /member/friend/childminder for the one day? If your DC is now 4 then surely he will be starting School in September .I get that you are working flat out at home ,but your job is office based ,not home based!

And I do wish people who don't have a clue stop spouting what is essentially a load of prejudiced discriminatory crap.
And I wish that people would stop spouting law that doesn't exist and leading people to believe that they have rights that don't exist. People following so much of the crap on this thread will end up without a job and the employment tribunals will not support them. There is NO right to work from home - now or ever . There is NO right to be furloughed. There is NO right to fail to attend work because you have children / childcare issues. Anyone who think there is and quotes this crap at their boss will be finding their way to the head of the line for a P45. That is not about being discriminatory. It is about REALITY.

OP You still havent said what your DP is doing about this situation

I think your employer is being unreasonable.

Will you only be paid for 1 day or will your pay stay the same.

Totally depends on finances but if I were in that position I would much rather use up annual leave (myself and DH) and do 1 easy peasy day in the office and have the rest of the week off, than struggle FT WFH with a 4 year old. For me that would be a no brainer.

(Perhaps I’ve misunderstood tho)

You and the father of the child need to hire someone to come to your house to look after the child on the one day a week you have to go into work.

Will you only be paid for 1 day or will your pay stay the same

I'm not sure if you've understood correctly. OP is WFH 4 days a week, as are all of her colleagues and is expected to come into the office 1 day a week or take annual leave if she can't, as are all of her colleagues. I would assume therefore that she will still be receiving a full weeks pay.

RonSwansonIsBuff
Argh apologies, thanks for clarifying.

What a dfficult situation OP.

Whybirdwhy

No I’m expected to go in one day a week and work the rest from home the other 4 days.

I accept I am probably going to have to use my AL for that one day if the nurseries have not reopened. I don’t know why people keep suggesting Childminder’s. That’s not allowed at the moment otherwise he’d be with a family member.

I have explained the situation about DPs employers. It’s not fair and it frustrates me that’s the situation that I’ve found myself in.

Tbh I (and every other colleague I know) have lots of issues (unrelated to this) with our dpt. Its extremely unorganised and very poorly ran with lots of illogical reasoning and power trips and doing things for the sake of it without listening to the concerns of staff. Things don’t run smoothly in there, ever, it’s a shit show. However, being a civil servant, like most dpts they’re exceptionally good at being flexible re working arrangements. That’s the main reason I joined and why I continue to stay. I realise that my opinion of my senior management may have skewered my perception (and that of friends in work) of this recent situation I’ve found myself in and that’s why I wanted some outside perspective.

I now see that whilst I still feel it’s unfair, that DP does need to take more responsibility and if that’s not possibly I may have to suck it up and take the AL, even though I was willing to work.

I cannot leave my DS home alone
Oh please no one is asking you too. You can use a chilminder and in any case, we are talking about 4 weeks as you have gratefully been given full pay leave for the next 4 weeks. So what are you doing to see who could have your child in 4 weeks time?

You are acting entitled because you seem to be doing very little to try to meet your employers flexible requests whilst going in about them daring not to be yet even more accommodating.

Whatever else you've thrown, complaining about being told to take the days as A/L IF indeed you can't find a childcare provider, is the attitude of someone entitled.

OP, you have a solution for 4 weeks. Focus on that in the meantime nurseries are likely to open and if you choose not to go that route take AL, shared with your DP.

It is the most sensible and pragmatic approach. The world has changed as employers are under pressure as much as workers so they have to be flexibility on both sides. They have given you flexibility so just take some AL, it is only likely to be a few days...this is not a battle to fight.

I’d still get legal advice.

dontdisturbmenow

Why do you keep talking about Childminder’s?! I am by law not allowed to have anyone else even a family member look after my child atm unless they live in my home. I am not a key worker. As for seeing what I can do about it in 4 weeks, how am I, or anyone meant to know what the situation will be like in 4 weeks?! I do not know whether it will be allowed then - if it is - then he’ll be back at nursery or with a family member - and of course I will be in work for the one day a week I am expected to go in.

And say what? OPs employers can tell her to take annual leave at certain times, they are allowed to do that. We are all so used to being allowed to choose when we are off that I think people forget this.

Sorry meant to tag @Mummyoflittledragon in that