Ettiquette question (very trivial)

[PelicanPuffin]

Name changed as it's so trivial and not the sort of thing I normally post.

When I was at university a few years ago, I went to view a house with a view to potentially moving in the following year. I had seen it advertised by two girls who I didn't know, and was met by the one I had spoken to on the phone when I arrived.

It wasn't something I thought about at the time, but she was wearing a beanie hat over her hair. Something reminded me of her today and it got me thinking whether it was slightly rude? If it was, I'm not bothered, just curious as to what others might think.

what?!

Not since the early 1980s have I heard someone claim it rude to wear a hat indoors. But it certainly did used to be seen as such. I wonder why it changed?

So if we did agree that it was rude, what would you do?

@Iwalkinmyclothing I find that really interesting. I’m only 23 but I always remove my hat indoors even though traditionally it was acceptable for women to wear hats indoors! I think a lot of people do remove their hats indoors but because they want to, not because there’s a big societal expectation of proper behaviour

And traditionally if you went to someone's house for a lunch party (as one does, don't you know) the hostess wouldn't wear a hat, but every other woman there would keep her hat on. I'm really glad things are much more reasonable now.

Women don’t need to remove hats inside. That only applies to men.

This! Have you never watched Downton Abby? Women can wear hats indoors but maids should not be the dining room.

If it's rude, who's telling HMQ?

I don't think it was rude, but some very traditional people might do.

Her hat, her house, her rules.

"At university" is probably the clue here - students are much more relaxed

I'm not against hats inside at home, but I don't like them at the dinner table/restaurants/guests houses unless you are very familiar aka family or you are popping to a cafe or a Costa for example

So I kind of see what you mean but probably wouldn't be too outraged in that context

Traditionally women would wear some sort of head covering. MEN were expected to remove theirs. Women were not.

So no, not rude. If anything you were the rude one for having a bare head. 😂😂😂

@PelicanPuffin

Surely the “very traditional people” (and God knows I am probably one of them) would be educated enough to know that removing hats indoors has never been part of etiquette for women

I don't think it was rude, but some very traditional people might do
But those traditional people would still think it’s acceptable for women to wear hats indoors because that was the way it used to be

Loads of people wear hats / beanies as part of their outfits. I worked in a very casual office once where at any one time half the staff would have a beanie on inside.

And as others have said, traditional etiquette hat removal doesn’t apply to women’s hat, although I doubt that covered beanies as such.

So no, I don’t think it rude. My grandmother would have thought it weird.

@NameChange84 snap! 😂

But it isn't so if they were actually 'very traditional' they would know it wasn't rude and therefore not be offended.

It's a little similar to the whole 'what' and 'pardon' issue.

Maybe she had a problem with her hair? I think it used to be considered rude not to take a hat off but nowadays a lot of people would be more likely to think the person might have alopecia, especially if they weren't wearing a scarf/coat as well.

My exH used to keep his coat or jacket on indoors, in people's houses, when everyone else had taken theirs off. I don't think he was cold, but I know a few people thought it was rude - like he didn't want to stay for long and he'd just sit there in his coat and not say much. Keeping outdoor garments on can look very rude in that sort of context

Maybe I use the wrong term in my original post. What I was thinking earlier was that they seemed quite keen to find someone, but she was wearing something that some people might take against.

If there is anyone who would take offense over a beanie hat, I really want to meet them. I have so many questions.

But why would anyone “take against” a woman in a hat?

Once I went to view a house. Guided round by the agent we found a teen dc still asleep in bed!!

My only advice would be to put it behind you and pray that you will never have to experience it again.

Well, maybe they did it on purpose as a cunning plan to weed out the sort of people who would take against a woman wearing a hat indoors. People who knew no better and had been dragged up as my mother would say. People who didn't own a copy of Debretts.

It’s not remotely rude to wear a hat in your own home. Not least because in my experience, student flats are freezing, and students tend to be pretty relaxed about rules of etiquette that have no practical application.

If someone was going to be put off renting the flat because she was wearing a beanie in her own home, it’s probably just as well she was saved the hassle of living with an uptight twat.

she was wearing something that some people might take against
I mean...maybe? But if they did then they’d be misinformed about etiquette themselves