Parents wfh and the furloughed for childcare

[baskininjoe]

I am childless, currently by choice because I am in my twenties but do plan to have a child in the future at some point.

AIBU to be getting annoyed with the short end of the stick that the childless are getting right now with everything regarding childcare and lockdown.

I have so many colleges who are currently wfh whilst looking after children. I completely sympathise and understand this is hard but I am really starting to get annoyed with them being less productive, and logging less hours for the same pay (no reduction), whilst the rest of us are expected to pick up the slack, and work more hours to make sure tasks still get completed, whilst not being paid anymore for our extra time and effort. I know there is no perfect solution but it really grates on me that they aren't being paid for what they complete which could therefore compensate the rest of us for the extra we are having to do because they are not fully fulfilling their role.

On top of this with the idea of school provisionally going back in June some of these parents have said they will not be sending their DC to school, despite a place being open and available to them, and therefore expect the rest of us to continue to pick up their slack because they can't work as productively whilst looking after their children.

My housemate (shared house) works in a place where many parents have been furloughed for childcare reasons, despite their being lots of work to do, just because they've asked to be. This means that my housemate has been incredibly stressed as the workload is still high but the team is now smaller, whilst many of their colleges are receiving 80% on the taxpayer, despite their actually being work for them to do, all because they complained to their employer that it was too hard working with children and thus asking to be furloughed. This is especially grating as it is taxpayer money that is being used to pay them, despite their actually being a job they could do and be payed for.

I am not at all against the furlough scheme, another of my housemates work in a restaurant and is also on furlough and this is absolutely the right thing as they can not work, despite wanting to, as their place of work is not allowed to open.

However I think:

1. Some employers and employees are taking the piss by allowing staff to be furloughed/asking to be furloughed despite their actually being a job to do. Which then negatively affects the rest of the teams as the work level remains the same but there are less people to do the work so the remaining people have to work harder with no extra pay.

1. Employers need to be understanding but also firm with parents that although some productively will be affected by having DC at home, a certain level still needs to be consistently met or they are not doing their job properly and that negatively affects the business and the rest of the team.

1. Employers need to be especially understanding and grateful to employees still working, who are picking up the slack for those not being as productive because of DC at home/furloughed for childcare reasons despite their still being work. And actually need to consider financially compensating them for the high level of extra work and overtime and/or promise to look at these people first for upcoming promotions as as they have shown serious dedication to the business.

1. Employers should not be allowing parents to choose not to send DC to school when they can if it continues to affect the parents productivity level.

I understand this is a hard time for everyone, and parents do have it hard with few childcare options for DC, however that is not the problem of their colleagues and they should not be negatively affected by being expected to work far far more for no extra gain. My housemate and I are stressed beyond belief both having to work 10-12 hours every day for what would be a 9-5 office job in order to pick up the slack for colleagues whilst not being paid anymore whilst these colleagues are only completely 4-6 hours a day yet continuing to be paid the same as us. And on top of this are expecting it to continue despite their child being able to go to school soon because they are choosing not to send them.

Talk to the Teacher's Unions and make sure schools and nurseries are open on the 1st June

Lol, good luck with that one.

@Londonmummy66

There are 700+ posts on this thread, I'm sorry I did not acknowledge yours but I mostly prioritised defending myself to posters attacking, undermining, and belittling me.

"It might be tough for you but it is really no tougher for you than for anyone else. "

I have acknowledged this multiple times and repeatedly said that it is shit for everyone.

"If you are working too hard then shed something. TBH if you came whinging to me that it was too much and I found out that you had a second job I'd be a lot less sympathetic."

Please tell me what I can shed. I need my second job to afford to live (rent, food ect). And if I came on here complaining of not being able to afford to live and said I don't work weekends plenty of posters would in fact tell me to get a second job to make ends meet. I can't shed caring responsibilities either or my loved ones won't eat.

"you are not a Florence Nightingale for doing a second caring job."

I don't think I am. I only mentioned my second job when multiple posters said why don't you have free time over the weekend. I was merely answering their questions.

"And please don't whine on about your SEN issues - are you dyslexic or dyspraxic? The fact that you use both terms indiscriminately suggests to me that you are neither and are simply playing the SEN card"

I am not whining, I am justifying my mis-spellings which multiple posters have gleefully patronised and belittled me about. I am dyslexic (as I have consistently said throughout this thread) and am not using the terms indiscriminately. Merely when another poster belittled dyslexia I compared it to dyspraxia as it is the most similar condition that came to mind. How dare you accuse me of 'playing the SEN card', it is not a card, it has no bearing on how I do my job. But I have every right to defend myself to posters implying or outright calling me stupid for spelling mistakes and this is the reason for it.

As someone with a child with SEN I hope you never allow others to patronise them for making mistakes caused by their SEN, or tell them to suck it up. And are fully understanding that it does limit some abilities and make some things (such as spelling in my case) more difficult than for others.

How’s the plan to talk to your boss going OP?

It's like bingo.

@LaurieMarlow

I have talked to my boss prior to starting this thread. They said they understand my frustrations and I am not the first to raise this but they have no solution. They can't reduce the workload without losing clients and loss of clients would mean redundancies and possible risk of the whole business going under. They were genuinely lost and upset as this business is their baby and they don't want to see if go under.

They asked if I had any ideas as to how to rectify the situation, I didn't at the time, and since starting this thread I have emailed them with the idea of those doing overtime getting time in lieu off once everything has calmed down but I have not yet heard back. My boss has furloughed no one and doesn't intend to as the 4 hours some colleagues are doing is still better than nothing for the business (the whole furlough section was about the experience of my housemate) and if they did furlough people, again we would lose clients and redundancies would be on the way as soon as the furlough scheme ended.

This is why I am frustrated with the situation. Because not even my employer has a solution and has apologised to me and other employees working overtime about the extra stress on us but can't do anything about it. That why I'm here venting my frustrations, because it's horrific being in a shit situation that you can't do anything more about.

Hi haven't got the energy or time to read all 27 pages. However I am a little confused right now. Can you be furloughed due to childcare responsibilities?
I am currently living away from home to protect my family due to coronavirus exposure. My husband has been unable to work as he works nights and we cant leave our 14 year old alone all night. He asked to be furloughed but his employer said he couldn't

Contact your LM and employee support program. You sound stressed. As someone who tried for 3 weeks to wfh with a 5yo and a 2yo i cracked and couldn't cope anymore. I also feel massively guilty on my colleagues. I'd quit my job if my OH was working. I hate things right now and i miss my job.

Glitter - as he works nights, is he in a key sector (including food, utilities, transport)? Key sectors aren't allowed to furlough anyone

I have talked to my boss prior to starting this thread. They said they understand my frustrations and I am not the first to raise this but they have no solution.

Crikey you could have mentioned

It’s not like it hasn’t come up.

Anyway, given yet another credibility reducing move on here, you’re on borrowed time with me (and pretty much everyone else by the looks of it).

But one last time. Tell them you’re just working your hours and then just work your hours. Don’t answer emails or work calls outside of hours. Stand up for yourself and quit blaming the world for your troubles.

That why I'm here venting my frustrations, because it's horrific being in a shit situation that you can't do anything more about.

Gosh yes, and the people on here, that you’re blaming for everything, wouldn’t know anything about shit situations out of their control.

Amazing.

Truly remarkable.

Who'd thunk?

Haha OP you’re an entitled millennial - grow up! Do you think parenting is easy?

I have as much compassion for your situation as I do everyone else’s - you don’t, otherwise you wouldn’t be on here moaning. It’s all less than ideal for everyone, no one wants to be working and juggling childcare it’s shit, just as your situation sounds a bit shit. You don’t think that though do you, you think your the one who’s being the most badly done to don’t you?

Re your point of parents not wanting to send their children back to school when they reopen - firstly it’s only two year groups, so I’d be very surprised if there was a place for every child of your colleagues. Secondly parents are hesitant because they’re really frightened, (google Covid children Kawasaki) when you grow up potentially have children and stop being an entitled brat yourself, you will realise that these children are the most precious thing in the world to their parents and the thought of sending them out to get seriously ill, no matter how small the chance is not really a risk a lot of parents want to take.

@LaurieMarlow

How many times, I'm not blaming parents, I'm blaming the situation. Have I ever once said I expect my colleagues with children to still work their 8 contracted hours every day. No I don't, because I understand that's impossible. But do I expect to be somehow compensated for the extra I am doing because of this, yes I do.

You should be apologised to?!? 🤣😂🤣😂Your lack of self awareness is truly astounding!

On top of this with the idea of school provisionally going back in June some of these parents have said they will not be sending their DC to school, despite a place being open and available to them, and therefore expect the rest of us to continue to pick up their slack because they can't work as productively whilst looking after their children.

My housemate (shared house) works in a place where many parents have been furloughed for childcare reasons, despite their being lots of work to do, just because they've asked to be. This means that my housemate has been incredibly stressed as the workload is still high but the team is now smaller, whilst many of their colleges are receiving 80% on the taxpayer, despite their actually being work for them to do, all because they complained to their employer that it was too hard working with children and thus asking to be furloughed. This is especially grating as it is taxpayer money that is being used to pay them, despite their actually being a job they could do and be payed for.
Blaming parents.

Unions are advising teachers this week not to go to work in schools. It doesn’t take having children of your own to understand parents are reluctant to send their child somewhere they feel is not safe.

And you think you should be compensated? I’d write to Borris or Rishi maybe at once 😂😭

@BetteDavisWeLuvU

I could just as easily call you an out of touch boomer. And for the record I'm not a millennial (have a google of the different generations and when they fall.

"I have as much compassion for your situation as I do everyone else’s - you don’t, otherwise you wouldn’t be on here moaning."

So people aren't allowed to be compassionate whilst equally being frustrated with their own situation and thus venting about it? And if you had any compassion for me you wouldn't call be an 'entitled millennial' - name calling at its finest.

"It’s all less than ideal for everyone, no one wants to be working and juggling childcare it’s shit, just as your situation sounds a bit shit."

This I agree with you, pretty much everyone has it shit right now

'You don’t think that though do you, you think your the one who’s being the most badly done to don’t you?'

I think those who are being expected to work overtime with absolutely no compensation or recognition are incredibly hard done by in businesses right now, yes I do.

@BetteDavisWeLuvU

"And you think you should be compensated? I’d write to Borris or Rishi maybe at once 😂😭"

Not by the government obviously, or are you being purposefully obtuse?

I mean by the business I am doing the extra work for. Either by time in lieu or overtime payment.

How many times
Til the end of the thread I'm guessing

I'm not blaming parents
Except the posts you are.

@RedToothBrush

If you don't believe a word I say why are you continuing to engage at all? Is it purely to be antagonistic? Because that's all you're achieving.

And you think you should be compensated? I’d write to Borris or Rishi maybe at once

Great idea.

You can rant about workshy parents to them instead of us.

Is it purely to be antagonistic?
Nope

Because that's all you're achieving.
Nope again.

If you had any compassion and self awareness you wouldn’t be on here moaning no, as you’d more than likely think yeah this is completely shit, I’m fed up but more than likely everyone is, so probably best to just crack on, or not....as you’ve been advised just don’t do the extra. But instead you’ve come on a site with a large number of parents, moaning about parents and then to top it off questioning why we don’t want to send our children back into an environment which doesn’t feel safe. You are an entitled brat.

Tip off - also your boss more than likely thinks you’re being a bit of a dick about this as well from what you’ve relayed. I wouldn’t say anything else if I were you and would just quietly stop doing the extra and just do your contracted hrs.

Some good points on here by Balkin and Rainycloudyday

OP you are not being unreasonable. Everyone has a bad day. And you are entitled to a rant as much as anyone else. Some of the personal abuse you have received on this thread has been shocking.

@BetteDavisWeLuvU

'If you had any compassion and self awareness you wouldn’t be on here moaning no, as you’d more than likely think yeah this is completely shit, I’m fed up but more than likely everyone is, so probably best to just crack on'

So no one should ever moan about anything on here? Because Mumsnet has thousands of users, and many are fed up by something, and for all but one of them someone else on MN will have it worse than them so no one but this one person is allowed to moan about their shit?

'.as you’ve been advised just don’t do the extra'

And as I have explained multiple times, if I, or anyone else, just doesn't do the extra the business will lose clients, there will be redundancies, and in all likelihood will eventually go under so there will be no job for anyone. It is nowhere near as clear cut as 'just don't do the extra'.