Parents wfh and the furloughed for childcare

[baskininjoe]

I am childless, currently by choice because I am in my twenties but do plan to have a child in the future at some point.

AIBU to be getting annoyed with the short end of the stick that the childless are getting right now with everything regarding childcare and lockdown.

I have so many colleges who are currently wfh whilst looking after children. I completely sympathise and understand this is hard but I am really starting to get annoyed with them being less productive, and logging less hours for the same pay (no reduction), whilst the rest of us are expected to pick up the slack, and work more hours to make sure tasks still get completed, whilst not being paid anymore for our extra time and effort. I know there is no perfect solution but it really grates on me that they aren't being paid for what they complete which could therefore compensate the rest of us for the extra we are having to do because they are not fully fulfilling their role.

On top of this with the idea of school provisionally going back in June some of these parents have said they will not be sending their DC to school, despite a place being open and available to them, and therefore expect the rest of us to continue to pick up their slack because they can't work as productively whilst looking after their children.

My housemate (shared house) works in a place where many parents have been furloughed for childcare reasons, despite their being lots of work to do, just because they've asked to be. This means that my housemate has been incredibly stressed as the workload is still high but the team is now smaller, whilst many of their colleges are receiving 80% on the taxpayer, despite their actually being work for them to do, all because they complained to their employer that it was too hard working with children and thus asking to be furloughed. This is especially grating as it is taxpayer money that is being used to pay them, despite their actually being a job they could do and be payed for.

I am not at all against the furlough scheme, another of my housemates work in a restaurant and is also on furlough and this is absolutely the right thing as they can not work, despite wanting to, as their place of work is not allowed to open.

However I think:

1. Some employers and employees are taking the piss by allowing staff to be furloughed/asking to be furloughed despite their actually being a job to do. Which then negatively affects the rest of the teams as the work level remains the same but there are less people to do the work so the remaining people have to work harder with no extra pay.

1. Employers need to be understanding but also firm with parents that although some productively will be affected by having DC at home, a certain level still needs to be consistently met or they are not doing their job properly and that negatively affects the business and the rest of the team.

1. Employers need to be especially understanding and grateful to employees still working, who are picking up the slack for those not being as productive because of DC at home/furloughed for childcare reasons despite their still being work. And actually need to consider financially compensating them for the high level of extra work and overtime and/or promise to look at these people first for upcoming promotions as as they have shown serious dedication to the business.

1. Employers should not be allowing parents to choose not to send DC to school when they can if it continues to affect the parents productivity level.

I understand this is a hard time for everyone, and parents do have it hard with few childcare options for DC, however that is not the problem of their colleagues and they should not be negatively affected by being expected to work far far more for no extra gain. My housemate and I are stressed beyond belief both having to work 10-12 hours every day for what would be a 9-5 office job in order to pick up the slack for colleagues whilst not being paid anymore whilst these colleagues are only completely 4-6 hours a day yet continuing to be paid the same as us. And on top of this are expecting it to continue despite their child being able to go to school soon because they are choosing not to send them.

Fwiw thanks for the extra work you are putting in.

The more I read from you, the less angry I feel. You lack compassion and empathy for your colleagues, it's no wonder you aren't getting much empathy on this thread.

I suggest you switch off from this thread and hope that none of your colleagues identify you.

I see both sides. It's completely shit all round.

I really hate how much of an us VS them culture is being created by coronavirus. It feels like everyone is frustrated and turning on one another.

Personally I would much rather have an increased workload than have to try and do my job with a toddler around. But the grass is always greener and we can only see the world through our own gaze I guess.

OP you need to take this up with your boss rather than wasting time complaining about parents on a parenting website, and then criticising anyone who dares to disagree with you.

You won’t though.

Life is pretty shit for a lot of us right now.

You are clearly experiencing difficulties as well OP, most of us are feeling pretty defeated and feel like we are failing in all areas of life.

I understand your frustrations OP, and it isn't always as easy as simply not doing the extra work as you said. It is all pretty crap right now and the majority of us are doing the best we can.

You have been given a hard time here OP, but I think this was the wrong platform to choose to share your frustrations. Parents (well some) already feel huge amounts of guilt for not being as productive at work, guilt for not being able to spend much time with their children and they are concerned about their child's education, or current lack of it. Your post just reads as one more thing we should feel shit about.

I know that wasn't your intention, but when people who are doing the best they can feel burnt out trying to juggle everything, someone posting about how unfair it is on them because they are picking up our slack is piling more guilt on already heavily burdened shoulders.

If you had posted saying you are finding things difficult right now you would have got support i'm sure, because your difficulties are valid too, but your post is a bit 'rubbing salt in the wounds' of parents.

those who've expected time off for every sniffle, every sports day, every nativity play ... ?

What does it matter to the company what their staff use annual leave for?

I wasn't referring to annual leave, but do agree with the PP who mentioned that it's not just parents who take the piss; someone who wants to do this will do it anyway, whether the excuse is the DCs, an inexhaustible supply of sick grandparents or something else

However this particular thread concerns parents, which is where the reference came from ...

That’s a very considered and sensible post U2. Well done for being so measured.

Funny how poor overworked OP has has time to read 27 pages and regularly copy, paste and respond to 4-5 posts. Day off, was it?

And yet I'm not even working and can only now catch up now my toddler is in bed.

@hammeringinmyhead yes!!!!

I'm confused as to how you don't even have time to eat OP? If you worked 11 hours, slept 7 hours that leaves 6 hours a day. Shopping for 3 households could be done in a couple of hours once a week... ?

If you worked 12 and slept 8 there's still 4 hours.

OP why not have a moan about the whole of society? Every workplace and walk of life has people who work harder than others, bullshitters, workshy etc

Your colleagues and bound to be a mixture of some stressed and doing their best/some lazy/some doing a great job.

In my workplace some of the 'slackers' have been childless or with adult children, I dont think it's fair to assume parents of young children are taking the piss but not others also.

YANBU OP I would feel the same.

Not sure what they can do about it unfortunately if they have young children and no childcare options.

@constancesalinger

" mean this nicely, I've worked with women like you before, and they struggle to separate the difference between a successful life and a successful career (I'm not talking about parenting or not here). They think they are extremely important to the function, when in reality they are the easiest to replace. Usually in the role of PA/EA or some kind of Compliance/Audit Role and are, by nature, taken for granted for their work."

How incredibly rude and patronising of you. I am not easily replaced at all thanks to my special skill set and training. However if you will read my pp's I have explained how we are a small business and team and ANYONE dropping hours right now without them being picked up by someone else would be a detriment to the business as we would lose clients.

@hammeringinmyhead

I can't seem to do right for doing wrong as earlier I was criticised for not responding. Sorry if I take 5 minutes to check my thread. Oh but all these parents complaining they never get a minute to themselves have also been posting, actually far more regularly and consistently over a number of hours, so are they lying about being busy too?

Ah, you're a special one! Everything is clear now. Yep, your "colleges" think the same as we do.

It doesn't take a special skill set to ask people if they're grafting from home or not. Bullshit.

@artisanpopcorn

"I'm confused as to how you don't even have time to eat OP? If you worked 11 hours, slept 7 hours that leaves 6 hours a day. Shopping for 3 households could be done in a couple of hours once a week... ?

If you worked 12 and slept 8 there's still 4 hours."

Have you missed the queues at the supermarkets? The fact I cook for my elderly grandparents and delivery food and other medicines aswell. Have a panic disorder. Actually need some time to drive between supermarket, GP's house, parents house, my house. It all takes time and adds up pretty dam quick.

It can't add up to 6 hours every day. Do you work all weekend too?

@ConstanceSalinger

How rude and patronising can you get?

I have said the business will go under if anyone drops their hours, it's not just me, I'm not special. Just all the hours being worked are absolutely needed because we're a small team.

"It doesn't take a special skill set to ask people if they're grafting from home or not. Bullshit."

Believe it or not this isn't actually my job. It is an extra task I have been given on top of my already full time job. What I do is already meant to take 8 hours per day, plus this on top, plus picking up the slack for people who can't do more than 4/5. So yes I am busy. You have no idea about my life or workplace or what my colleagues think of me.

And again, I'm dyslexic, tired and stressed and MN is not a place where perfect spelling is required at all times. So please refrain from making fun of my learning difficulty (hmm, I think we're bordering on prejudice here) and if you want to make fun of people's spelling head over to pedant corner.

@ArtisanPopcorn

I have a second job at weekends, 12 hour shifts.

Perhaps you pissed them off enough to make time. Sometimes we get 90 seconds or so to go for a wee. Not always.

You work 10-12 hours a day, 7 days a week? I call bullshit.

OP I wouldn't bother trying to justify your feelings anymore, you are meant to empathise with everyone else, but others are incapable of doing the same. Most before children would feel similarly I would bet a fair few ££s. And lots of workplaces are full of people who feel the same way you do, even if they don't have the balls to say it to anyone's face. Just concentrate on your career, if it gets too much then do tell your manager, and they can look at which members of staff to bring back off of furlough can't they, happy days.

People are just being pedantic and pathetic now, surprising seen as though they are soooo busy. Do take heed to some though, there are some good posts which give a balanced and measured view.

You have no idea about my life or workplace or what my colleagues think of me.

But we all know what you think of them