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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

FIL gave my 10month old cofffee

297 replies

Louisana · 15/05/2020 12:46

I am absolutely raging ! My FIL gave my 10month old black coffee! Luckily I saw it an quickly grabbed DD away. I was very angry at the time so just stormed off with her because had I not I would've been very rude and didn't want to be.

AIBU?? How on earth is it ok to give a baby black coffee.

I have a feeling he has been doing this for a while. As he has said it before like "ooo let's have a sip of coffee Shal we" but I always thought he was joking and wouldn't give it. But after seeing today I think he's been giving it all along!

Is this now going to affect my child? What do I do?? I'm a first time mum so very worried

OP posts:
Mittens030869 · 15/05/2020 15:13

Your FIL sounds annoying, I wouldn't find him funny at all, but I still think you overreacted over a sip of black coffee. But your updates suggest that this isn't really about black coffee and that there's a backstory about your FIL not having been in your DH's life when he was growing up.

mocktail · 15/05/2020 15:13

Does your FIL live with you? Or are you in a different country with no lockdown? If he lives with you then I completely understand why a trivial thing like this might push you over the edge - lockdown is bad enough without being locked down with in-laws Grin

CherryStoneTree · 15/05/2020 15:14

@ParkheadParadise

Years ago when dd1 was a baby she loved tea. My mum would give her tea in her bottle. My mum also used to put jam in her dummy.

That’s great that you’re proud of it and one of those weird people who because they survived high it’s fine and want to validate their own choices. This would not happen today for good reasons

GingerScallop · 15/05/2020 15:14

My FIL gave my 10month old black coffee!

Oh dear. Next time, tell him only coffee with cream. Or milky coffee.

Mammyloveswine · 15/05/2020 15:16

How are you seeing FIL?? In lockdown? Do you live there? Move out and get your own place.

I could not get worked up about this.

LaurieMarlow · 15/05/2020 15:16

What would people expect a GP to actually do when told that a 10 month had a sip of coffee?

Any suggestions?

bluemoon77 · 15/05/2020 15:17

My Mil once tried to dip my babies dummy in her sherry.

AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff · 15/05/2020 15:18

@cherry

Actually I was the same as @parkheadparadise. That and a glug if whisky. It isn’t a case of being proud of it. It was just how it was.

And it isn’t weird, just different times.

Away you go with your judgement.

MyBlueMoonbeam · 15/05/2020 15:18

I think OP should have a chat with her DP as she seems irrationally angry with her FIL tbh - if this is even genuine 😏

Mammyloveswine · 15/05/2020 15:19

Just read a bit more.. if you live with FIL speak to him face to face like an actual adult... not via text.. how rude...

OnlyJudyCanJudgeMe · 15/05/2020 15:19

@LaurieMarlow after they choke themselves trying not laugh at the PFB-mummy you mean.

LaurieMarlow · 15/05/2020 15:20

after they choke themselves trying not laugh at the PFB-mummy you mean

Grin
Howgreenwasmyvalley · 15/05/2020 15:26

I use to eat coal apparently, very crunchy it was too.

Sweetiepye · 15/05/2020 15:28

“So read what I wrote before you comment your sarcastic shit”
“So don't assume and ask directly !”

I agree that your fil was completely OOO for this and I would be very annoyed. However, there is no need to speak to pps the way you have been! You are really not coming across as a very pleasant person in light of your comments!

ParkheadParadise · 15/05/2020 15:28

@CherryStoneTree

That’s great that you’re proud of it and one of those weird people who because they survived high it’s fine and want to validate their own choices. This would not happen today for good reasons
🤣🤣🤣🤣

nowayhose · 15/05/2020 15:31

She's going to put a lot of things in her mouth, and a sip of coffee won't hurt her. It's just a taste, same as chocolate, peaches and everything else she will try at some point.

Tell your FIL 'no' to giving her it again, but don't go overboard. If you do, they'll be the first to accuse you of not looking after your DC when they have some other issue e.g fall and need stitches, get hold of a sharp object, get hold of a dishwasher tablet or scented oils.............. the list is endless, and things happen to a lot of kids every day which actually ARE potentially a threat to life (which a sip of coffee most definitely is not, unless it's spilled onto DC).

Nicely remind your FIL that it's up to you and your DH to set your DC's rules, and if they want to keep having her over then they need to abide by them.

Remember, the world is full of people who would do things differently, it doesn't make either you or them wrong, just different. There's no need to have a falling out over it.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 15/05/2020 15:32

The frothing on this thread would make a lovely cappuccino.

Nanny0gg · 15/05/2020 15:34

I know one of my DC was given a sip of beer when about a year old.

Survived. And doesn't like it now!

It was stupid but I reckon he's got the message now. And all of you saying to phone a health professional - calm down! It wasn't a cup or bottle full. She'll be fine. (assuming she actually tasted any)

HopeYouStepOnALego · 15/05/2020 15:43

@Howgreenwasmyvalley are you me? I used to eat coal too when I was a toddler Grin

Worst one was when my grandmother was visiting when I was a toddler (50+ years ago). My mum thought DGM was watching me and DGM thought my DM was watching me. When they realised neither was they went in search of me. I was found in the garden shed, chewing on the bristles of a paintbrush that had been sitting in paraffin. No landlines in our house then so DGM had to run down the road to the police phone box and call an ambulance. Was seen in hospital, but no ill effects.

In comparison, I think a quick snifter of coffee will be pretty harmless!

nowayhose · 15/05/2020 15:44

@ HyacynthBucket

Well, you're either a first time mum, or wound so tight it must give you ulcers..................Wink

It's actually the posters who DO know what they're talking about who are telling the OP she's overreacting..........because she IS. Shock

Devlesko · 15/05/2020 15:45

We used to have whiskey on our dummies when teething, gave it to my 3 too when they were.
They certainly slept. Grin

Batshittery · 15/05/2020 15:46

oh that's odd you posted in late February about your FIL and MIL and she was very much still alive then

Busted Grin Yeah, of course you call his partner mil. So why were you texting when he lives with you? Grin

iklboo · 15/05/2020 15:47

The frothing on this thread would make a lovely cappuccino.

😂

Batshittery · 15/05/2020 15:48

I actually thought this was a joke thread after reading all the mass hysteria of ringing the GP or health visitor.

stairgates · 15/05/2020 15:52

Same her batshit!

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