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AIBU?

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Original poster

FIL gave my 10month old cofffee

297 replies

Louisana · 15/05/2020 12:46

I am absolutely raging ! My FIL gave my 10month old black coffee! Luckily I saw it an quickly grabbed DD away. I was very angry at the time so just stormed off with her because had I not I would've been very rude and didn't want to be.

AIBU?? How on earth is it ok to give a baby black coffee.

I have a feeling he has been doing this for a while. As he has said it before like "ooo let's have a sip of coffee Shal we" but I always thought he was joking and wouldn't give it. But after seeing today I think he's been giving it all along!

Is this now going to affect my child? What do I do?? I'm a first time mum so very worried

OP posts:
MrsBobDylan · 15/05/2020 13:07

Was the coffee in a baby beaker or in an adult cup? Can your dd drink from an adult cup yet? If not, then chances are he was lifting it up and pretending.

Also, children that age push their tongue out a lot (which is why drinking from a cup is a tricky skills to learn) and coffee (especially black coffee) is not a pleasant taste for kids so most likely she didn't even taste it.

I used to take my small dc out for 'coffee and cake'. They certainly ate my cake but did not partake of the coffee.

The biggest risk here is that, if the coffee was hot, it could have burnt her.

devildeepbluesea · 15/05/2020 13:07

Good grief. What hysteria.

SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing · 15/05/2020 13:08

So possibly one single sip of coffee?

Yeah. Stupid thing to do, but no need to worry or calm the GP or anything.

moobar · 15/05/2020 13:08

Dd was born late October. Xmas day I looked up and saw my father in law scrape the foam off his beer and go to give it to her on his finger, PFB I nearly up ended the table getting to her. Seven weeks old.

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 15/05/2020 13:09

Fuck me the hysteria on this thread is hysterical.

Calm down huns. It’s coffee not cocaine.

Madein1995 · 15/05/2020 13:09

She'll be fine , coffee isnt poison and it was a sip..dont get the hysteria tbh. I had tea in my bottle from 18months and milky coffee from age 3 or 4. Coffee eont hurt, not a sip anyhow.

KaptenKrusty · 15/05/2020 13:11

A sip? Wow this thread is a bit dramatic - it’s not a shot of whisky

pictish · 15/05/2020 13:12

No actual sip has been proved.

You don’t go bothering medical staff because you suspect your baby might have had a sip of coffee sometime, maybe, not sure.
I’m surprised I have to point this out to adults who are posting in response here...but there there we go.

Coffeecak3 · 15/05/2020 13:13

The sky’s falling in!

Wait until your dd grabs a wine glass and has a glug.

Sconio123 · 15/05/2020 13:14

WTF is all this about calling Docs etc? They've got enough on their plate without this hysteria - shame on those ramping up the panic.

It was a taste of coffee - not a pint of bleach.

Give FIL a bollocking and then resume normality.

Christ.

Original poster
Louisana · 15/05/2020 13:15

Well I texted him asking him have you given DD coffee before. An he replied he was only joking. But I said u literally was about to give it to her now had I not pulled her away. He then replied saying the cup was 3/4 empty and that he lips were on the rim (which it wasnt and cup was actually full ). I just said can you be honest have you been giving her coffee in the past or not. An he jus replied he is actually offended ??

It's not a big deal if this was a one off sip but even then there's no need to do it. What the issue would be is if he has been doing this on a regular with DD an giving her sips every other day.

OP posts:
Sunshineandflipflops · 15/05/2020 13:15

I also think very dramatic! Just ask him not to do it again as babies shouldn't have caffeine. I think things were quite different when a lot of our parents were younger and had babies. My mum used to put a drop of brandy in our milk to help us settle occasionally and obviously I wouldn't recommend or do that myself 40 years later, or let my mum do it to my babies but he may just not realise it's not what you do!

Also, no long term affects here. I don't think...Confused

Samtsirch · 15/05/2020 13:16

Caffeine isn’t okay for children, whether in tea or coffee.
It increases heart rate and blood pressure and inhibits calcium absorption.
It causes headaches and digestive problems.
It causes behavioural issues, jitters,concentration and memory problems and disturbs sleep patterns.
You need to tell your FIL that this is not okay.

MrsBobDylan · 15/05/2020 13:16

@moobar my Dad (alcoholic) used to put his empty beer cans outside the Back door. When it was sunny, the beer dregs would get warm and sort of sugary. My Dad used to let me drink the left overs Shock

I have a very cute picture of me aged two, sat on my back door step drinking beer. He also used to let us drink during Sunday lunch and at Christmas from the age of 9/10.

Ironically, I am now tea total!!

OnlyJudyCanJudgeMe · 15/05/2020 13:16

A single tiny potential sip of coffee?
Never mind phoning the GP.....RUN AND NEVER GO BACK! IN FACT GET A RESTRAINING ORDER....HAVE HIM ARRESTED. PHONE SOCIAL SERVICES.

Jesus.
Calm down & get over yourself.

pictish · 15/05/2020 13:16

See...he’s teasing you. Drop it now.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 15/05/2020 13:17

If he won't be having her again I don't think you need the battle.

Some GP's do that weird thing of giving babies things parents refuse and going "in my day we ate gravel and all turned out fine" conveniently forgetting nothing of the sort happened. My (lovely, lovely) Mum popped a prawn in one of the DC's mouths when they were tiny newborns and we had to have a chat about making ridiculous choices. No idea why - she's brilliant with them, just didn't think.

Thisismytimetoshine · 15/05/2020 13:18

Does he drink cold black coffee? Confused

Original poster
Louisana · 15/05/2020 13:20

@OnlyJudyCanJudgeMe first of all not at any point did I say I was going to contact the GP! We are in the middle of a pandemic that's the last thing I'd ever do!

So read what I wrote before you comment your sarcastic shit

OP posts:
yourestandingonmyneck · 15/05/2020 13:20

Nowhere else but MN would you get the hysteria of these "call your GP!" replies. Crazy. Absolutely crazy.

OP, do you live with your FIL?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/05/2020 13:21

Years ago when dd1 was a baby she loved tea. My mum would give her tea in her bottle. My mum also used to put jam in her dummy

Years ago everyone did this. It was pretty much normal. I think everyone was happier too. We not only survived, we thrived.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 15/05/2020 13:21

Ok. Missed the bit about seeking medical attention. No, that’s not necessary but I’d still be annoyed if my FIL gave my baby coffee.

MrsBobDylan · 15/05/2020 13:21

Op, she wouldn't like the taste!!!! Even if it had touched her lips, black coffee is disgusting to lots of people and definitely to a 10month old.

Of course fil is offended - he told you it was a joke and that he hadn't done it before and you are still accusing him.

Be careful here op - you will cause a huge rift if you don't calm down.

LordOftheRingz · 15/05/2020 13:21

Oh My overreaction.

Calling the doctor to mitigate caffeine...lol, mitigate it by giving water.

I suggest you do not allow this person un supervised access to your child.

Kids of my generation were swigging down caffeinated tea from bottles full of sugar from 6 months old, no I do not condone it, but no body died.

Original poster
Louisana · 15/05/2020 13:22

@yourestandingonmyneck yes I do live with FIL. 🙄

OP posts:
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