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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

FIL gave my 10month old cofffee

297 replies

Louisana · 15/05/2020 12:46

I am absolutely raging ! My FIL gave my 10month old black coffee! Luckily I saw it an quickly grabbed DD away. I was very angry at the time so just stormed off with her because had I not I would've been very rude and didn't want to be.

AIBU?? How on earth is it ok to give a baby black coffee.

I have a feeling he has been doing this for a while. As he has said it before like "ooo let's have a sip of coffee Shal we" but I always thought he was joking and wouldn't give it. But after seeing today I think he's been giving it all along!

Is this now going to affect my child? What do I do?? I'm a first time mum so very worried

OP posts:
Justaboy · 15/05/2020 13:23

If you guys knew how much Brandy my grannie used to lace my nightime feed bottle with to make me sleep;!!!!

LouiseTrees · 15/05/2020 13:23

That’s what I was going to ask but I thought she could be a key worker who needs parents for childcare.

LordOftheRingz · 15/05/2020 13:24

some suggestions on this thread are breathtaking lol

totallyoverthisbullshit · 15/05/2020 13:24

I'd be more concerned with her sharing his mug during the middle of a pandemic.

If she had a sip of coffee she's not going to suffer any adverse affects. This quote comes from the American Academy of Paediatrics:

'The AAP has not specifically set guidelines for caffeine in children, although they do recommend that children not consume caffeine. This recommendation came after the rise of energy drink consumption, especially among teenagers.

Extremely high doses of caffeine can cause both seizures and cardiac arrest, which can lead to death. Caffeine can also dull appetite, making it harder for small children to feel hungry when they are and making it more likely they may skip a meal or snack when they've had caffeine.'

She has not had an extremely high dose, she's had a sip. She's not had a full bottle. It was only a sip.

Everything is terrifying when your baby is so little but don't worry at all! You don't need to call the GP or anyone else, just keep an eye on her.

Tell FIL in no uncertain terms not to do it again.

DS swiped a mug of mine when I went to the toilet when he was about two. I'd left him in front of the tv for no more than five minutes and came back to the bugger sat on the settee enjoying a Lazy Sunday in front of Paw Patrol... he was absolutely fine and he'd had a good few mouthfuls.

Don't worry, at all!

SockYarn · 15/05/2020 13:24

A sip? Yes it's not the best and he shouldn't be giving it to a baby. But you don't need "advice on how to mitigate the caffeine" or to call your GP or Health Visitor.

You do need to tell FIL not to. And try to chill out a bit.

MuthaClucker · 15/05/2020 13:25

I do hope it wasn’t ...

... instant

Inthepurplerain · 15/05/2020 13:25

‘ It’s coffee not cocaine’

It’s funny you say that. I don’t drink tea, coffee or soda.

I tried a mocha once that left me shaking, heart racing, headache- it was absolutely awful. Never again.

Caffeine is not for children, their heart rate is fast enough, they don’t need the extra kick.

averythinline · 15/05/2020 13:25

how often does he see your DC unsupervised? think that should be 0 now...
I would have been absolutely fuming too......and whilst 1 sip probably wouldn't harm her.... and it just shows he doesnt really think about her as a baby and her needs /safety ...so will need supervising...as it will be the same for other things he wont thin about - yes jam on dummies and tea in bottles was a thing.... but so was brandy for teething etc etc and guess what kids in the main have better teeth/heath now because parents dont do that...

do you live with them? if so would suggest moving...

Miljea · 15/05/2020 13:27

I have decided to stop countering MN posts where people ask 'What the hell is going on with MN, now? It's unrecognisable to the MN I was on 10 years ago!'

.... because actually, there are so many hysterical loons on here now, it really is nothing like it was 10 years ago!

Babypug · 15/05/2020 13:27

Sounds like he's wound you up a treat, and you snapped by the sound of it. Chill out, take a step back and relax (if you're able to?!)

Bienentrinkwasser · 15/05/2020 13:27

Mine went through a phase at that age of swiping mugs and sipping. It was the summer so not unusual for an empty mug to be popped down on the grass next to us. He drank many tea/coffee dregs and lived to tell the tale. The alarmist responses are quite OTT.

ABucketOfShells · 15/05/2020 13:27

My grandfather used to give me sips of his beer! Also from about 7, used to let me drive on his lap and he did the pedals. I’m in my mid/late twenties, things have changed relatively quickly. Try not to worry, was different times for him growing up, and even from when you were a child. Your baby will be fine, try not to worry. I don’t think it’s an issue at all if it’s de-caff. But make sure grandad knows no caffeine from now on if not.

AugustaLoveday · 15/05/2020 13:29

Good God. Nothing can match MN for hysteria at the moment.

Even if your DD had a sip of coffee, OP, it will do her no harm at all. If your FIL really is giving her coffee regularly, you would obviously need to tell him, calmly, that you don't want him to. I very strongly suspect he's winding you up, though (which makes him very irritating - I have known people like this, and they're a PITA).

Your DD will ingest far worse once she's moving around. And if you have more than one, you'll barely notice what the second and subsequent ones are ingesting. I remember finding one of mine sucking the loo brush (sorry MN). It was a bad moment, still remembered 20 years on, but there were no ill effects.

LouHotel · 15/05/2020 13:31

Well if hes a terrible sleeper you now know why, he'll be absolutely fine just have your dh have a talk because it's not your responsibility to be the buzz kill parent...literally in this instance.

My mum gave me a cup of tea every morning from 6 months old, not something I've copied with my kids but apparently it was a thing.

I'm habitual tea drinker now.

crustycrab · 15/05/2020 13:32

It's coffee not crack.

I know loads of kids that drink tea. Apparently I was brought up on it too

Wakaranaihito · 15/05/2020 13:33

Chill out. Just ask him nicely not to. No harm done. Seriously, I wonder how I made it to adulthood if a sip of coffee has you lot calling the GP.

Great a grip.

Lynda07 · 15/05/2020 13:33

I remember having tea as a baby. My parents didn't 'do' black coffee but I used to have a small cup of milky coffee when quite little, not a baby but not far off.

Your FIL was out of order but I expect your daughter is fine despite the odd sip of coffee and he isn't likely to do it again so put it behind you.

melissasummerfield · 15/05/2020 13:33

Lots of first time mummies on this thread Grin

Alb1 · 15/05/2020 13:34

Are you sure your baby even drank it? You say he normally makes this joke, and he’s said he was joking and the cup barely had anything in, sounds quite likely you’ve over reacted to his joke. Admittedly it’s a pretty crap joke but it’s not worth falling out over. Just move on.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/05/2020 13:34

*I do hope it wasn’t ...

... instant*

HEH!!!!! They started me on instant. I must have been three. I can still remember it. I had a Mary Mary Quite Contrary Mug and I demanded coffee. All there was in those days was instant. They gave it to me expecting me to spit it out. I asked for MORE. Years later I showed them the good stuff.

crosspelican · 15/05/2020 13:36

Horrendous and despicable? Health visitor? GP?

Good lord.

Lockheart · 15/05/2020 13:36

Bloody hell. Are you lot always so dramatic? How have you not dropped dead from the constant stress?

It's coffee, not arsenic. Not only is it just coffee, it was also the most minute amount (if any).

I was being given milky tea from a young age and that was fine.

ScarfLadysBag · 15/05/2020 13:36

I wouldn't worry about it overly. 10 weeks, yes. 10 months? My DD has had the odd sip of my tea from time to time since around then.

Just ask him not to do it again, but I wouldn't be furious or calling the GP (Confused) over presumably a small sip of coffee.

HyacynthBucket · 15/05/2020 13:36

Why are so many people on here going "He'll be fine"? Are you all doctors, do you know what you are talking about? If I was OP I would definitely phone GP surgery and ask advice at least. i cannot understand how glib some posters are about things they know nothing about.

PotteringAlong · 15/05/2020 13:38

This is a massive over reaction on your behalf.

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