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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pulling kid out of private to go to (poor performing) state secondary

231 replies

Caplin · 15/05/2020 00:27

Ok, I know it has been done many times.

We live in a relatively new build in an ‘up and coming’ area in Edinburgh. Our primary catchment school was of the worst in the city, so we decided to put the kids into private primary, but it is killing us.

We had already decided to pull them out for high school as the school was doing ok, but in the latest tables our catchment high school is in the bottom five performing in the city. Now I am panicking as eldest goes next year. Only 26% of kids got 5 highers.

Even before corona virus we knew we couldn’t afford private for high school. So do we risk it, or do we try and move? Looking around that means doubling our mortgage for a smaller house that needs fully refurbed. With corona virus, we might be even more screwed trying to sell our house 🥺

To be clear, I have no issue sending them to a state school, in fact it would probably be better for my eldest as she doesn’t do well with academic pressure, but I do have an issue sending them to a school that is crap. I can easily live with middle of the table, but this is just so poor performing.

OP posts:
skinnyhotchoc · 15/05/2020 12:27

I'm a teacher and I would advise you to avoid that school if you can. It's not just the academic side of it but often the kids in these schools are often into all sorts.

StatisticallyChallenged · 15/05/2020 12:44

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/schools-in-wealthier-areas-dominate-top-of-the-league-2dpf2p9rf here you go waxon. You have to log in but it can be one of your free articles

WaxOnFeckOff · 15/05/2020 12:50

thanks Statistically, I'll have a look when my PC decides it will open the link...

This info used to be available directly on the .gov website somewhere.

caramac04 · 15/05/2020 12:50

I agree with @DivGirl
I’d move ASAP.

Bananadobana · 15/05/2020 13:01

Skinnyhotchoc what do you mean by the kids at these schools are often into all sorts?

MissMarks · 15/05/2020 13:23

Drugs, self harm, sex, risk taking behaviour I would guess. And having worked with vulnerable kids myself for many years that is not being mean but a reality.

hosnav · 15/05/2020 13:28

@MissMarks are there not kids at all schools - state and private - doing all of those things? I would be very surprised if there wasn't a minority doing it everywhere.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 15/05/2020 13:31

Dunno, you get a better class of smack at Fettes, and a more posh sire for your teenage pregnancy at ESMS.

Kids behaviour is universal, you can't buy your way out of teenage problems.

MissMarks · 15/05/2020 13:31

Yes of course there are children at all schools engaging in risk taking behaviour but if you choose a school that is in the middle of a deprived area the numbers will be much greater and more of the teachers time will be dealt dealing with it. There is also the issue that you are exposing your child to a world they would other wise know nothing about. Some might say it is good for children to meet people from a variety of back grounds others would say leave it as late as possible. I was a long term foster carer- my biggest regret is what I exposed my own children too when they were very young.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 15/05/2020 13:33

We used to buy our drugs from the private school kids. The idea that there is not "drugs, self harm, sex, risk taking behaviour" in posher schools is quite a dangerous one really.

MissMarks · 15/05/2020 13:33

Posh kids doing recreational drugs for fun is not the same as children known to social services who have experienced significant trauma using drugs as a coping mechanism and taking more and more risks.

MissMarks · 15/05/2020 13:35

And the posh kids will on the whole be ok in the end- they will go to uni, they rarely become teenage parents. Like with covid- they might all be in the same storm but they aren’t in the same boat.

Iggi999 · 15/05/2020 13:35

It's not just the academic side of it but often the kids in these schools are often into all sorts
Skinnyhotchoc What a disgusting thing for a teacher to say.
As a pp has said, you get drugs and sex among the upper classes too (yet more likely to be able to afford rehab or a quick termination).
I think Op if you'd just posted in scotsnet you would have got a lot of good local knowledge from people familiar with the rather unusual Edinburgh situation.

therobin · 15/05/2020 13:36

I'm told (by a private school parent) that the best local parties for teenagers are the private school kids ones held on Mummy and Daddy's farm or big garden as the booze and drugs taxis are frequent visitors.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 15/05/2020 13:36

Broughton really isn't as bad as Miss Marks is suggesting. Yes there are kids who have challenging backgrounds, yes, the catchment schools are from areas with more social deprivation than that at the RH - but, RH isn't free of behavioural issues!

Nor is it's exam results a fair reflection of what the teachers are able to provide in the classroo. RH has a higher than average percentage of parents with further education themselves who are therefore far more likely to engage with the school, encourage learning and get external tutoring if they think it's needed
.

MissMarks · 15/05/2020 13:44

I was not referring to Broughton specifically. I was explaining why schools in deprived areas can have more challenges.

Ionacat · 15/05/2020 13:44

Can I just point out that this is Scotland and this are higher results that people are discussing which are equivalent to sixth form/A-Levels.
26% 5 or more highers where some may be at college as well. This is different from England and a headline figure of 26% for GCSEs.

OP - talk to the school, if you were happy before then chances are they’ll be able to reassure you. It sounds like those that know Edinburgh think it’s fine/okay.

Bananadobana · 15/05/2020 13:46

. RH and Watson’s both recently had kids expelled for dealing drugs.

MissMarks · 15/05/2020 13:54

What do you think happens to kids who are using drugs in state schools??

Bananadobana · 15/05/2020 13:57

Royal High is a state school

MintCassis · 15/05/2020 13:58

@skinnyhotchoc are you a teacher with knowledge of the specific school in question or are you generalising?

I went to a private school in Edinburgh and there were pupils doing drugs, drinking, underage sex and other risky behaviour. You can’t buy your way away from these issues, although often you can end up with a bigger risk as the kids have access to more money therefore more dangerous drugs which are freely shared about in empty houses because the parents are away for the weekend.

OP if I were you I’d send your children to Broughton and see how it goes, you might be surprised. I’ve worked with pupils from the school who were lovely children and high achieving. The most important thing is you DC make local friends who will be going to the school too and do as many after school activities with these children as possible. Broughton has excellent facilities and if your DC find the right friendship group they should do well, emotionally and academically.

Some of the girls I was at school with had a miserable time because it was a very academic environment and they constantly felt they couldn’t keep up. There are lots of extra costs with private schools too, if you did manage to get enough funds together for the fees can you afford all the extras? It’s also no fun for the pupils whose parents can’t afford to let them take part in any of the extras or replace the uniform as they outgrow it. For your eldest DD especially you might find she flourishes in a less competitive environment. I hope you find a solution that works for your family Smile

MissMarks · 15/05/2020 13:59

I know- but they have expelled a child who will now simply be moved to another state school- probably in a deprived area. The private sector simply does not tolerate, but it you are in the state sector and there are multiple children using even cannabis they just have to put up with it as children have to be educated.

ECBC · 15/05/2020 14:00

I wouldn’t rush to move anywhere with the current economic climate. Give the local comp a go and have a back up plan if it doesn’t go to plan.

Bonniefoible · 15/05/2020 14:02

Difficult. I'd see the main problem being if they are not at a feeder primary for the secondary, your kids aren't going to have the chance to learn how to handle themselves or be able to build friendship circles to take with them as they move up to the next school.

Good schools can still have challenges - bullying, drugs, etc as much as a lower performing school. Pastoral care school to school differs a lot as well, may well be better in the lower performing school. You have to look at all the variables not just exam results.

My parents faced the same decision for me (from Edinburgh) and I didn't go to my catchment High School in the end.

If it was me, I'd move and put them back to the feeder school in the catchment of a good all round High School.

StatisticallyChallenged · 15/05/2020 14:30

Actually the point about not having a friendship group is a good point - I know you are not keen on your catchment primary but could you see if FS or SB have spaces? They both lose kids in the older years to private so they might in which case at least your kids would go to Broughton with friends from primary?