Was I nasty/selfish to not help this man today?

[newyorkcity9]

Was on my way to work this afternoon (I’m a shift worker) and needed to stop by the office on the way to my call to pick some paperwork up. The parking outside the office is terrible so I normally just pull up on double yellows and run in quickly. I was no more than 5 minutes when I returned to my car to find another car parked in front of me and there were two men standing next to it with the bonnet up fiddling with things.

Just as I was about to get in and drive off, one of the men came up to me and asked if that was my car to which I said yes. He explained he had a flat battery and would I mind if he used my car to jumpstart it, I said no, sorry and explained I was in a rush to get to work (not strictly true but I didn’t want to be rude). The actual reason why I said no was because I felt slightly uneasy letting two random strangers mess around with my car. My car is my pride and joy and also a requirement that I need to do my job (without a car I can’t work).

I have no clue about these sorts of things, but if I did I may have felt slightly better about letting them use it as I could have observed. They could of pressed the wrong thing/broken something and I would be none the wiser.
After I said no, the man kept saying “oh but it’ll only take a minute”. I just reiterated about being late for work and apologised. As I got into my car, he walked away and I heard him mumble under his breath “bitch”, they were also giving me dirty looks when I drove away so I was kind of glad I didn’t help them tbh.

I’m just doubting myself now though. If it was you, would you have helped? I’m a carer so my job is to help people. I had a flat battery a few years ago but my brother helped me sort it, I would of never of thought to ask a random stranger on the street. AIBU?

I will admit, I probably was being a tad bit precious about my car. As I said earlier it's brand new (bought last year) and I saved up for quite a few years in order to afford it. Had they damaged it, I doubt very much they'd be offering to pay to sort it out... but that's just my opinion.

In the current circumstances particularly, I’m afraid I would have said no too.

Yanbu OP.

I would have done the same, and not felt remotely guilty. Heard too many stories of dodgy situations. The fact they called you a bitch speaks volumes.
You did the right thing 100%. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

If you had helped him he,wouldn't have called you a bitch

So some random men want you to.do something but you dont so they are entitled to call you names?

Screw that. Your bar is bloody low if you think thats ok.

Its been explained several times
ramseyspamsey. It can fry computer systems in your car causing huge and very expensive damage.

I’m just doubting myself now though op don’t doubt yourself
You didn’t feel comfortable doing it, there’s no other explanation needed.
Doesn’t make you a bitch at all, assuming all the people saying you shouldnt have said no are the people pleasers on mn who can’t say no to anyone and think standing up for yourself is a confrontation

I think she meant - op only knows they called her a bitch because she refused to help. It only seems to justify her decision now, but she didn't know what their reaction would be in advance.

You felt uncomfortable and he was rude. Simple.

I would have let them, it would have taken a minute. Anytime I've had a flat battery, anyone I've asked has helped me by letting me jump it off their car. I used to have a car that always needed jumped!

How did they know it was battery? It could have been something else - like the fuel pump (I had that - the car just dies).

Its been explained several times ramseyspamsey. It can fry computer systems in your car causing huge and very expensive damage

Saying something can happen is not "explaining" it. But it's okay, I googled it. Says that assuming you do it properly (which granted, is far from guaranteed when helping a stranger!) then damage to you own car is highly unlikely. Make sure any electrical equipment, including headlights, is switched off when you start the other car.

People on here assuming that they're clearly raping murderers is just disgusting.

Point out where that was assumed. Point out where someone actually said they were definitely were *raping murderers’. Can you tell tell the difference between’what uf@ and ‘they definitely were’ or are you too busy defending men you don’t know, simply because they’re men?

If you were male and it had been women needing help then everyone would be calling you out.. If the OP was Male it would be very unlikely that anyone would have concerns about her safety. But you just go ahead with your the poor men routine.

• ‘what if’ and ....

Yes, you were rude and unhelpful. Maybe karma will come your way.

Thank you @Villageidiots .. what a lovely comment.

Surely though, I can't be "rude" just because I said no? I'm pretty sure people are aloud to say no to random strangers requests if they want to?. Unhelpful maybe (I don't dispute that), but I really don't think I was rude at all tbh @Villageidiots

“If you had helped him he,wouldn't have called you a bitch”

So you should live your life to avoid the disapproval of cuntish men?

Aye ok

Don’t let the ignorant posters annoy you OP. There are those that feel that women should do whatever is asked if them because they eat up a bowl of female socialisation, sprinkled liberally with ‘nice’, every morning for breakfast. Except when it’s about how they speak to and about other women.

You weren’t rude at all @newyorkcity9

His reply was aggressively misogynistic when he called you a 'bitch' in your hearing. It shows what he thinks of women and how much he respects their autonomy. You don't need justification as a lone women driver for refusing to help two men. But if you did, it's right there.

*of, not if.

karma, PMSL! Haahaa. Explains why so many cuntish men are up walking round, loaded with billions of pounds . . .

T0tally is spot on, newyork.

Haha @overnightangel brilliant comment, made me chuckle!

Thank you @T0tallyFuckedUpFamily appreciate it

Hmm I'm not sure here. A very handsome man chapped my door one afternoon and asked if I could jump start his van. I said ok but I didn't know how to do it as the Car was literally just off the BMW lot 2 days prior. He said he would do it all. I drove out the drive and down the street a bit and he hooked it all up. Couldn't find the positive terminal so he checked YouTube. Got his van going and thanked me profusely.

Later that day I told DH about it. He really wasn't happy that I put myself in that situation and also that I let a random man tinker with our brand spanking new BMW. I understand DH point of view but I trusted my own intuition and felt right to help a man out. I think I would have helped in your situation OP. It really only does take a minute.