Aw thank you, tbh this thread has made me reflect on who I've hurt in addiction. Not my mum as much because she isnt realy aware, but my dad knows and he must worry though I dont give him details. My best friend must be concerned. My na friend must worry w little because she can tell I've used when I eat crisps for tea, wake up late and text really badly. Even those uni friends must have been worried. To my eternal shame I've gone to work high and I've no doubt that I've probably been short eith service users as I feel like I might throw up.
I get what you mean with personalities. Just because addiction is a disease does not mean the behaviour is acceptable or even nice. My aunt was an addict, who once spat at a nurse while intoxicated , told my mother that I was like a monkey when I was born (1lb 13oz and 11wks early) and should have died, and who once battered a woman with a chain while her 5yo grandson watched. I have no sympathy for her I'm afraid.
My cousin died of alcoholism. He was like an older brother to me and he cared about me. Hed been inside for theft to fund his habit, not acceptable of course but he wasnt violent. He was such a beautiful soul and I cry when I think of him, and have a lot of empathy for him.
I dont think the two people wrte defined bu their illness. It wasnt my aunties illness that made her say vile things or attack people. They wrte just different people with different personalities who happened to share the same poison.
I think quite often the only thing we can do is put in boundaries, and funny enough us recovering addicts are good at that! I guess because weve been through it and know the tricks, I'm quite naive as my poison was pain pills and I wasnt around users or in that lifestyle. I know people in na who would never give another addict money. They wouldnt even put money on an active addicts leccy as its enabling. Those people told me not to buy the guy shopping again and that if I really must, to give him a few Tins of beans and a loaf of bread. They told me all I was doing was freeing up his money for gear.
I think recovering addicts are tough on others. Most non addicts are scared to be 'too harsh '. I remember one guy saying to me 'we all stop taking drugs in the end, it's just weather wrte alive at the end of it.' Whoch really hit home, I tried to argue back but couldn't. It wasnt said angrily as some of my arguments with friends had been, it was honestly one of the kindest and loving ways someone had ever spoken to me.
Im not sure if I remember right as therea sadly so many families of addicts on here, but have you tried family anonymous? Apparently they're really good. I think the families of addicts often get a raw deal. Were all told that most addicts have trauma, the implication being it happened in childhood,implication that family failed to do something. If they try and help, there'll be gossip. If they refuse to help, theres gossip. They cant do right for doing wrong.
The guy in na called this afternoon, claiming hes done and stuff I've heard before. I sent him a link to na zoom. He moaned that his mum is being mean and he has a disease. I pointed out how hard must it be to see someone you love with all your being repeatedly destroy and kill themselves over and over again and you cant stop it? That yes I have a disease, but dihydrocodeine ij itself does not unravel itself and jump down my throat. That when I use I'm choosing to do so knowing what consequences will bring, and I choose not to call a fellow na person or whatever
You could tell he wasnt pleased as he wanted someone to validate him but I wouldny. I used to play the victim so much a part of me still does. But ultimately we all have actions and consequences. If I choose to use in work then sadly I risk my job. If I choose to use I risk pissing someone off. They're my choices.