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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell him to clean the fucking toilet?!

120 replies

BrutusMcDogface · 13/05/2020 07:47

I’m so furious. Spent ages scrubbing the bathrooms yesterday. Today, dp has absolutely destroyed the toilet and left skid marks all over. When I’ve mentioned it to him before I get “that’s what toilets are for 🤷🏻‍♀️ “ I also get accused of nagging.

But ffs, how disrespectful can you get?!

OP posts:
Original poster
BrutusMcDogface · 13/05/2020 07:48

I should add that in all our fifteen years of being together, he has never EVER cleaned the toilet. Ever.

OP posts:
fortifiedwithtea · 13/05/2020 07:51

Grim. YANBU. If you can do it calmly, tell him its his turn to clean the loo. And if he says he doesn’t know how, plaster a fake smile on your face and tell him now is an ideal learning opportunity.

Lllot5 · 13/05/2020 07:54

I’m always amazed how some people think there are cleaning fairies that follow them cleaning up after them.
It is at least thoughtless at most disrespectful.

RingaRosie · 13/05/2020 07:55

My DH gets always leaves evidence on the toilet, whether it’s man hairs, brown stuff or just can’t get his wee into the actual bowl... I hate it, but he seems blind to it, and goes mad when I mention it.

ShirleyB25 · 13/05/2020 07:55

@BrutusMcDogface when someone tells you the secret please let me know. I've had 20 years of the same....

It's the 'okay okay - I don't know why you make such a big deal of it' that REALLY gets on my nerves. It is disrespectful.

Having said that, he'll happily do lots of washing up without prompting. But dusting? Toilet cleaning? Nope

ScrapThatThen · 13/05/2020 07:59

You definitely shouldn't be the only person in your house who cleans toilets, unless you live alone. It's one of my red lines, even if I was a SAHP.

Dozer · 13/05/2020 07:59

I wouldn’t be sexually attracted to a man who behaved and had attitudes like this.

RingaRosie · 13/05/2020 08:01

And toothpaste all over the bloody sink!

crimsonlake · 13/05/2020 08:02

I agree with Dozer.
This is disgusting and he is showing utter contempt for you by expecting you to clear up his shit.

RJnomore1 · 13/05/2020 08:02

Jesus Christ I know this isn’t helpful but on how on earth do you end up with men like this? I’d be applying the toilet brush repeatedly and not to the bowl...

I don’t know what you do but it’s not normal and it’s not the way all men react, if you have more than one toilet in the house assign him one to use and leave him to it until he catches dysentery?

helloPig · 13/05/2020 08:02

my ex and his son were like this. i lost it completely one day and said if you have a shit, turn round and check the loo afterwards. if there’s shit there, clean it up. if the thought of doing that is too disgusting to contemplate, why is it ok to leave it for me to do?

made no difference. i live alone and my loo is always spotless, because i am an adult.

SassenachWitch · 13/05/2020 08:06

It always amazes me that people can take a shit, and then not give a toss if they’ve left some behind for other people to see!!

I’m the only female in my workplace, and the state of the men’s toilet is shocking, they sometimes use mine too, and one of them once, kindly left me a little lump of shit in my sink 🤮

Some people have no shame.

mrsBtheparker · 13/05/2020 08:09

My husband died suddenly at the start of lockdown, I almost miss the yellow stains on the back of the loo! He always used the dreaded brush though inside the bowl.

JudyCoolibar · 13/05/2020 08:10

Just cheerfully tell him that as you did it all yesterday and he's responsible for the mess, he's going to clean it, and that trying to deflect with nagging accusations isn't going to change that. If he refuses, stop doing anything for him at all, including cooking, washing, shopping ...

Waitingwaiting12 · 13/05/2020 08:10

I can’t stand skid marks in the loo I would be really annoyed, it’s disgusting. Especially when people shit and it sprays around the rim , I just don’t get how you can leave it like that for the next person it takes a couple of minutes to spray wipe and a quick loo brush scrub. I would just continually nag at him and tell him how gross it is and ask if he would like it if left your shit all over the loo for him to sit down on.

AndMyHairWillShineLikeTheSea · 13/05/2020 08:12

Ask him why he thinks you should clean his shit off the toilet.

Atalune · 13/05/2020 08:13

Keep at him. It’s totally unacceptable.

What a disrespectful thing to do.

JustOneSquareofDarkChocolate · 13/05/2020 08:13

I don’t clean up after my DH. If he forgets to clean a loo after he’s destroyed it I remind him and he cleans it. I wouldn’t stay with someone who had your DH attitude.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 13/05/2020 08:15

It wouldn't occur to him to look because it's not his problem. It's ingrained behaviour in him and many men and it shows what he actually thinks of you subconsciously. You are there to clean his shit stains, that's your job.

PippaPegg · 13/05/2020 08:15

Ask him flat out why he thinks it's your job to clean his shit.

Would love to hear his answer.

Smellbellina · 13/05/2020 08:17

Sorry for your loss mrsBtheparker Flowers

I found skids on the loo seat yesterday 🤢 he must blast it out like a fucking firework! I called a ‘family meeting’ to tell everyone to check the loo and clean it after them, poor DD thought it was her as she’d had an upset stomach, I’m certain it was him, he thought it was him too and had the good grace to look embarrassed. We usually have a cleaner and I pointed out he couldn’t leave it like that for her to clean. What I have learnt in lockdown is that thick bleach dissolves it like magic!

Rosebel · 13/05/2020 08:17

Oh yeah my husband is the same. His response is well I flushed it. Eventually it'll wash off.
It's disgusting. Last week I lost it and threatened to clean the toilet with his toothbrush. He hasn't left a mess since. (I wouldn't have done it really but might be worth saying it).

copycopypaste · 13/05/2020 08:19

If you've got more than one bathroom tell him to used just one and the rest of you use another, let him continue in his own shit for a while.

BelfastNonBlonde · 13/05/2020 08:26

I have noticed this over lockdown.. It’s annoying the hell out of me. I honestly think he just doesn’t think to check but it leaves me gasping for the state of their work toilets..!!

There hasn’t been anything in a few days now so maybe he’s copped on at least 🤔

Same with opening the window after - just fucking open the window! Don’t close the door and hotbox the bathroom!!!!

LakieLady · 13/05/2020 08:28

And toothpaste all over the bloody sink!

DP somehow manages to get toothpaste drool on the outside of the sink. How is that even possible?

I've given this more thought than is reasonable and I reckon that the only way I could get toothpaste spit on the outside of the basin would be to kneel on the floor and actually spit at it.

He doesn't leave skiddies on the bog though, and seems to be able to pee into the water rather than anywhere else.

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