To tell him to clean the fucking toilet?!

[BrutusMcDogface]

I’m so furious. Spent ages scrubbing the bathrooms yesterday. Today, dp has absolutely destroyed the toilet and left skid marks all over. When I’ve mentioned it to him before I get “that’s what toilets are for 🤷🏻‍♀️ “ I also get accused of nagging.

But ffs, how disrespectful can you get?!

I have the same issue you're not alone. But my DH does clean the toilet and bathroom about once a month a good deep clean for me I keep on top of it. But my issue is he wee all over the place he can't help it as I know he has a double stream but ffs wipe especially when you leave the seat down. When I have my DSS stay in holidays he is terrible for it. I'm cleaning wee all the time. But now DSS is 12 I made him clean it after him moaning for about half an hour saying eewww it's gross. I said well it's your wee why should I clean it. I'll wee and make you clean it. I didn't btw. He has go better. Husband has got better after that to.

March him in there and don't let him out until he's cleaned it, oh and take his phone off him! Treat him like the child he is behaving as!

We had this same argument last week. WHY do they get offended as soon as you mention it???? Just clean your shit.

@dozer me neither, it's disgusting and disrespectful.

They get offended because they are embarrassed about being called out on disgusting behaviour.

It's the ultimate in complete laziness and disrespect. I'd find it very difficult to be attracted to someone who treated me like this.

My DH is the opposite.
I know when he has finished using the loo by the noisy scrubbing and brushing noises. Very odd acoustics in our house.

“that’s what toilets are for 🤷🏻‍♀️ “

"no, toilets are for shitting in, then ensuring all the shit disappears afterwards. By flushing and using the brush if flushing was not effective"

Use his toothbrush to clean it

Leaving your shit for someone else to clean up, how gross. Even my 12 year old DS can clean his skidders off the bog.

I used to endure this from my DH.

It is just one reason why we split up and now I live alone and my toilet is always clean.

I once lost my rag with my husband, after years of only me ever cleaning the toilet. When I drew his attention to this fact, he looked at the toilet and asked why it needed cleaning as it was always perfectly clean!! I couldn’t believe he was serious.

I dumped a boyfriend for this. It was the final straw in a large bale. We were on holiday and I went in the bathroom and there was a huge skid mark. I said something like FGS can you clean the toilet if you dirty it? He went all defensive and muttered something about being in a hurry.. I pointed out that a) it takes seconds, and b) we were on fucking holiday so what exactly was the hurry?.
The only acceptable reaction to being caught leaving the loo filthy is one of embarrassment.
Slugging bleach over it does indeed remove it. It does NOT 'just' bleach it white. I speak as the unhappy owner of a green bathroom suite.

As an ex cleaner... if I found a customer had left their loo covered in shit I'd give them one chance that they might have overlooked it. The second time they came home to a polite note telling them that due to "personal circumstances" I would be unable to retur.

I'm pretty sure toilets aren't specifically for leaving skid marks in. If your DP actually thought that, he'd be remonstrating with you every time you used the bog and failed to pebble dash it.

Post it on social media, tag him in it. “Apparently this is the state toilets should be left in”.

My DH hardly ever does this anymore, and on the rare occasions he does I believe it actually is an oversight, because he will apologise and immediately go and clean it if I mention it. It's taken us 7 years to get to this point.

Basically I just made a bigger and bigger fuss about it each time that it happened, and eventually told him that I was going to move out so that I didn't have to share a bathroom with him, and that I was reconsidering the relationship because he had so little respect for me that he expected me to wipe his shit up for him. It finally sunk in. What I did NOT do, EVER, was to clean up after him. Never do this unless you are happy to do it for the rest of your life.

So grim.

Certain men are pigs!
I once was cleaner for a rich man and his teenage son who lived on their own.
Omg.
I came once a week and the bathroom was like pigsty literally.
Pubic hair in the sink, shit marks all over toilet.. wet towels screwed up on floor, dirty clothes in corners..
It was disgusting.
He wanted me to clean all precisely but it was just impossible..
I left after a month..I could not bear the look onto pubic hair and toothpaste mixture in the sink- and I’m not talking about one hair, but hundreds!

He surely can’t expect you to desire him sexually in any way when his basic hygiene and courtesy for others seems to be lacking? I feel for you.

Right, the next time you have your period and there are streaks of blood around the bowl, leave it for him to find. I'd not bother flushing either.

Yes this is childish but what else can you do apart from to give him a taste of his own medicine? I'm sure he will have something to say about it too.

Then you can perfectly demonstrate your point.

He hasn't cleaned it in 15 years so what made you think he would start? You've been happily putting up with it for over a decade so your choice is to either carry on or leave him

I should add that in all our fifteen years of being together, he has never EVER cleaned the toilet. Ever.

@BrutusMcDogface that is your problem right thete. But you can fix it, you have done the first 15 years, and if the marriage is to continue it's his turn now.

Seriously, other people won't respect you if you don't respect yourself.
If you have children are they going into the bathroom after him and thinking it's acceptable to leave the toilet like that.
If a friend popped in (generally, not in lockdown) and asked to use the loo would he not be embarrassed?

Yes, he thinks you will and should, literally, clean up his shit.

Lack of basic respect.

So sorry @mrsBtheparker
And another thing ..... what’s the thing about leaving the lid up ?
Then you get to see all the yellow splashes the leave and feel compelled to clean everything before you even sit down yourself . Had a constant battle with visiting stepson on this one who didn’t see why the kid should be put down again . As a courtesy to the next user perhaps ?
You can get men to the moon but they can’t master a loo brush .

@BrutusMcDogface I’m not sure why you’re even asking. DP and DS get marched straight to the bathroom if they leave skiddies or if they piss on the seat (that’s only DS though) 🤣