To tell him to clean the fucking toilet?!

[BrutusMcDogface]

I’m so furious. Spent ages scrubbing the bathrooms yesterday. Today, dp has absolutely destroyed the toilet and left skid marks all over. When I’ve mentioned it to him before I get “that’s what toilets are for 🤷🏻‍♀️ “ I also get accused of nagging.

But ffs, how disrespectful can you get?!

Lid

I have one of these too.

“oh sorry for pooing! How unreasonable of me!”

My ex used to do this. He showed disrespect in other ways too and is now my ex because of it.

Are all men like this?! I am so tired of asking my DH to clean the loo and bathrooms. He is never bothered and thinks it doesn’t have to be cleaned often 🙄

Eeew. He thinks he's too good to clean up his own shit, but it's ok for you to do it. Says it all really.

I would never have married or had children with someone who had such little respect for me. The rule in my house is that if you make a mess in the toilet, you clean it up. Even my 6 year old knows how to use the brush. On the odd occasion they forget they are ordered straight back to attend to it. Unless you are of pre school age I am not cleaning up your shit!

I have to say, this truly almost ended my marriage early in as. Found it absolutely disgusting and so disrespectful. Literally DH thinking it’s acceptable for me to clean up his shit. Plus the whole piss on the seat too

I did t really get along with my MIL early on (I’m not same religion; I moved to Uk to marry him, so an immigrant; I already had a young child with me, so clearly I was after his “money”). However, she told him is wasn’t acceptable and he either had to clean up after himself or pay for a cleaner. We got a cleaner

You may wonder how this came to the attention of my MIL. I left the toilet as DH left it just before MIL cane for a visit. She took great glee in admonishing me for the state of the toilet, taking me about thick bleach etc. So I told her I had cleaned all day for her visit but that her darling son had used the toilet right before she arrived. That I was very sorry, I try to keep up with cleaning up after him but it’s a constant struggle, one would’ve thought he was never taught how to toilet properly and I’m sure that’s not the case.

“oh sorry for pooing! How unreasonable of me!”

My response would be: Don't be ridiculous and melodramatic. You know very well that is not what I am saying. All I have asked you to do is clear up after yourself - or are you seriously telling me that you think it's MY job to come and clean up your shit stains because you are too precious to use a fucking loo brush?

Totally revolting.

How can anyone be attracted to such a specimen?

when someone tells you the secret please let me know.
The secret is to marry someone who was trained properly by their parents.

DH's mum was a cleaner and dad was a caretaker/very houseproud.

He's perfectly capable of cleaning the toilet (DD, on the other hand, complains "it's blue Daddy" but she is only 5).

Buy Domestos, lots of it and just swoosh it around a few times close the lid and relax. He’s not going to change.

Thanks all. It’s a hard slog trying to get him to do anything around the house, but eventually during this lockdown business I have managed to persuade him that because he is furloughed, there is no reason why he can’t do the dishwasher/various other jobs that usually fall to me because he works and I’m a sahm. He’s slowly improving but the toilet is another matter. When I say he doesn’t respect me because he’s essentially saying “clean up my shit”, he thinks I’m being ridiculous, and of course he respects me, etc etc.

Oh and don’t get me started on the laundry!!

Without starting the whole loo brush debate, I would add that a fresh skid mark above the water line is so easily wiped with paper that it is no trouble. One that has been drying for an hour or two is. All of my 4 children from teenagers and husband had to leave a clean toilet. In moments of lapse I have been known to leave a reminder post it note on the cistern much to the embarassment of visiting friends. I had no shame, I was helping to train someone else kids

V v bad plan to be a SAHM with a partner with attitudes and behaviours like yours.

Like your partner’s.

My OH had a mother that did everything for him but he didnt take too much training really, in the toilet dept anyway.

Iwouldn’t be sexually attracted to a man who behaved and had attitudes like this.

This. ^
Have you thought about telling him that you keep getting an image of shit stains every time you look at him. I wouldn’t care if he found that offensive, because he doesn’t care about offending you. I couldn’t live with a man that behaves like that. It just feels like such a lack of respect.

This is disgusting and he is showing utter contempt for you by expecting you to clear up his shit.

This. Honestly, it's fucking disgusting. To all the posters who say their husband has always been like this... how are you still with them? Surely you say ok you're welcome to think it's ridiculous I don't want to clean up your shit (!!) but if you love me you'll respect that and do it yourself even if you think it's ridiculous. Which it isn't. If they continue to do it then they don't care about you.

Would you wipe a grown man's arse because he couldn't be arsed to? Of COURSE you wouldn't.

Right OP - so he's said "of course I respect you" why aren't you saying "how is it respectful to literally want me to wipe or scrub away your shit? How do you think that's respectful?"

Honestly how can people stay with someone who thinks this way. Ugh.

@BrutusMcDogface When I say he doesn’t respect me because he’s essentially saying “clean up my shit”, he thinks I’m being ridiculous, and of course he respects me, etc etc.
Tell him actions speak louder than words. It does sound like you have bigger issues if emptying the dishwasher is something noteworthy. For the sake of yourself and your children, really really don't give in.

@AdoreTheBeach getting a cleaner doesn't solve being married to the type of entitled pig who won't clean up his own shit.
My cleaner does the bathroom of course, but we don't leave the toilet with any evidence of recent use. That's just transferring the lack of respect to someone perceived as lower down the pecking order.

You ve waited 15 years to tell him??

"that in all our fifteen years of being together, he has never EVER cleaned the toilet. Ever."

Hard habit to break....but do it

Just tell him that his toothbrush will be used next time it's left for you to do. And that you'll buff the loo to a shine with his favourite item of clothing

My stepson used to do this. I took a pic and sent it to the family WhatsApp group stating UNACCEPTABLE. He didn't think it was a problem and my husband cleaned it. Ditto every time it happened. We moved to a house with two bathrooms and a downstairs loo. The children were given instructions how to clean their bathroom and I leave them to it. Our loo is now spotless and I clean the downstairs loo

Men get arsey when told to clean their shit because they are trying to teach you never to mention it again, so that you will always clear up after them which they secretly believe is right and proper.

My 6 year old gets called back to the bathroom if there is any mess. The bollocking I dish out after accidentally sitting my bare arse on his cold piss ensures these incidents are rare.

A grown man? Nooooo

Haha you let him get away with it for 15 years wow. He uses you. And you are enabling his behaviour. Sorry op, this is totally on you.!!

But. Retaliate... If you are still menstruating, maybe start leaving all your used tampons and pads out...