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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Best CF Stories

999 replies

CupcakesAndCastles · 11/05/2020 13:46

Lockdown sucks, what’s the best CF stories you’ve read?

OP posts:
TreeTopTim · 15/05/2020 07:10

It always amazes me how people can't see the CF coming.

Someone gets in touch after years and asks a favour.
A new parent at a school wants you to look after their child who you don't know.
People asking for things, money, help etc

It all just screams CF to me.

Lemonlady22 · 15/05/2020 07:36

Side wall of our house is the boundary between ours and next door, both detached houses. Next door neighbours having an extension. Show us their plans which include attaching their extension to our side wall, then they send their builder around to discus this with us Confused. The CF then get all arsey when we say 'nope , not happening'. Apparently we are jealous and dont want them increasing the value of their property. Well actually we dont want them decreasing the value of our detached property by making it link/semi detached!

GeraltOfRivia · 15/05/2020 07:45

I've read TidyDancer's threads and Mexican house thief before but I've gone back for a re read. They're amazing.

I don't have any really bad CF tales. Mind I don't assume I'm a CF (I know I'm not, I'd rather do too much myself than leg people help) but I do wonder if people know I'd tell them to sling their hook Grin

Rhodri · 15/05/2020 08:17

I still remember the time my bf and I were invited out for a special meal with his uni friends to celebrate two of them getting engaged. They’d all graduated the year before but bf and I had stayed on to do masters. So we were utterly broke while the others all earned graduate salaries. Restaurants weren’t really in our budget but he wanted to join the celebration. So we checked the menu and figured we could get pasta for £10, a free glass of water and skip dessert.

Of course on the night his friends had a real party and over indulged in shots, bottles of wine, jugs of cocktails, multiple courses, steaks, ordering anything and everything. Then when the bill arrived they wanted to split it at a cost of £50 each. We simply didn’t have the money.

The reason it sticks in my mind is because of the reaction when bf took the organiser aside and quietly said “Here’s £10 from each of us, it covers the food we ate. We don’t have any more money because we’re still students”. The organiser absolutely exploded and started shouting angrily that we shouldn’t have come if we couldn’t pay our way. Bf explained that we hadn’t touched the sharing platters or cocktail jugs because we couldn’t afford it, we had literally just ate our pasta. By this point everyone was staring. The organiser announced that everyone needed to pay an extra fiver to cover our share because we don’t have enough money. At which point they all started shouting about how disgraceful it was, we were taking the piss to come for a meal when we couldn’t pay, we were ruining Bob and Jane’s engagement party, let’s just pay our share and walk out leaving them with the rest of the bill. I was literally in tears. The organiser summoned the waiter and told him here’s the money, it’s not enough because they haven’t paid theirs (pointing at us). So the waiter fetched the manager and we had the same argument - we’ve paid for what we ordered, we can’t afford to subsidise others who have paid less than what they spent. It was getting nasty and some people (who had paid much less than what they spent) had already left, muttering “I’m not paying any more, I’m going”.

In the end I was just like - we don’t have any more money so we’re leaving - and I dragged bf out. We were told later that Bob paid the difference and was absolutely furious. I dated bf for two more years and we were never invited out with his uni friends again.

CallaLilli · 15/05/2020 08:18

It always amazes me how people can't see the CF coming.

Yes! And it also amazes me how so many people don't say no to the CFs. Threads about how posters have been dropping off their DNs at school for years because SiL needs a lie in or friends who disappeared when the bill arrived for their meals etc etc. Why let them get away with it in the first place?

Laaalaaaa · 15/05/2020 08:32

@Rhodri to be fair, I don’t think the other guests were cheeky fuckers. I think you should have made it clear from the start that you were only contributing for what you had. In most instances, meals like that are split equally - I doubt anybody else at the table noticed you did not have any of the drinks, platters etc.

Rhodri · 15/05/2020 08:53

I was only 21 at the time. I’d never been out for a large group meal before so had no expectation that they’d want to split the bill when people were obviously ordering different amounts and adding stuff that only they were having. They were still whinging even after we clarified that we’d only eaten our pasta. Nowadays I’m wiser and always order the most expensive items at a group meal.

Lochroy · 15/05/2020 09:10

WTF, @Laaalaaaa are you a CF yourself? Fair enough if the group initially assumed it would be ok to split it equally, but once it'd been pointed out that @Rhodri hadn't eaten/drunk anything else, I find it astounding that the rest of the group still expected them to pay.

GoofyLuce · 15/05/2020 09:28

I've got a few....

Me and my DP were living with my mum and brother (we were teenagers) and had been out shopping. DP had been into Halfords to buy some spray paint. We went back to my house and dropped the shopping off in my room and then went to his parents for dinner. On the way out, my brother asked to borrow some money (for the third time that week) and I said no. Anyway went for dinner, came back and the Halfords bag had gone. Turns out my brother had taken it back got he shop to get the money back from it. When I challenged him about it he said well you refused to lend me money so I had to get it somehow Angry

Another.... there was a guy at work who I felt a bit sorry for, he seemed to be in financial trouble and was a bit scruffy and sad. Whenever I would be popping out for a cigarette break, he used to catch up with me and ask for a roll up. I always gave him one whenever he asked. This went on for months. One day he came up to me with a pouch of tobacco and said it was for all the roll ups that he had had over the months. later on that day he comes up to me and asks for me to make him so roll ups from the tobacco that has given to me Shock wtf was the point in giving it to me in the first place!

Last one... When I was little my mum had a falling out with our neighbour. The neighbour was getting a new fence fitted but had asked my mum if they could fit it from our side of the garden so they don't damage her lawn. My mum said no as shed only just our garden looking nice and it would ruin all her plants in the flower bed. The neighbour went mad about it and and managed to turn all the other neighbours against my mum for months!

Laaalaaaa · 15/05/2020 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lochroy · 15/05/2020 09:37

Well I disagree with them now ordering the most expensive, but still think it's CF for everyone to assume a bill would be split and also to then make such a scene. However, if we all always thought the same, we wouldn't have any CF stories!

ConstantlySeekingHappiness · 15/05/2020 09:42

I guess you can just go and pipe the fuck down now can’t you 🙋🏻‍♀️

Bit over the top? Are you like this in real life too, or just online Hmm

mummmy2017 · 15/05/2020 09:45

This one was funny.
We went out too lunch.
About 20 of us half were children .
This was my SILs first time with my family.
My SIL was ordering her fancy drinks and wine and meal, the rest of us went to the bar.
As the meal went on all of us at some point paid our bills and just paid for the drinks at the bar as we bought them .
At the end the SIL asks for the bill, and says let's spilt the bill, gets out her credit card, so we owe 1/10, turns out her wine was very expensive and it was her turn to pay. Her bill was £150, the meal was only £15, she had expected to scam us all .
My brother knew and had not told her, that she would be paying for the wine herself.

TeaAndHobnob · 15/05/2020 10:01

@Notimeforaname

Omg!

I'm guessing that day is where you learned to say no Grin

Laaalaaaa · 15/05/2020 10:04

@ConstantlySeekingHappiness nah I’m meek and mild and a bit of a pushover in real life. You know, one of those who constantly finds themselves at the brunt of cheeky fucker behaviour.

WotnoPasta · 15/05/2020 10:05

I’ve re read tiny dancers wedding thread. She mentions a takeaway thread but the link she gives doesn’t work. Does anyone know it?

FluffyHippo · 15/05/2020 10:18

Calm down, Laaalaaaa - it was a fair comment. Yes, they should've made their position clear before everyone started ordering, but once they did so, their friends were definitely in the wrong.

Overinvested much?

twoshedsjackson · 15/05/2020 11:37

A good friend of mine gained a teaching post at a new comp., formerly a grammar school, which from earlier days still had an organ for big services. As well as his teaching qualification, he was a skilled organist. The new head did not set much store by this; he wanted easy, quick results, and the two-teacher Music department was not showy enough. He thought an orchestra could be produced quickly and easily, with no boring slog and note-bashing.
So the head decided to dispose of my friend's services by constructive dismissal. He'd expected to take his form up to the next year, and teach Music. All of a sudden, there was a new Head of Music appointed (interestingly enough, no local teachers applied for the post) and my friend's timetable was a hotch-potch of other subjects. The head's fury when he realised that my friend was a union member was apparently a sight to behold....it was agreed that rather than return to a job where the atmosphere would forever be strained, he would settle for a term's salary in lieu of notice. The second in department, a reasonable keyboard player, saw what the new regime was like and got another job. The new Head of Department turned out to be a decent man, embarrassed when he sussed the situation - and a brass player with scant keyboard skills. And Christmas was coming....so the CF head let it be known that it would really help the school out by coming back to play the organ and piano for the Carol Services. He's never felt such delight at turning down a gig.

angelcakebananabrain · 15/05/2020 11:41

@WotnoPasta very vaguely, something about a cousin and her daughter always coming round expecting a takeaway and a lift home I think and then when she stood up to her it all kicked off. Didn’t realise it had gone, I read it a couple of years ago.

DampSquid · 15/05/2020 11:56

My story isn't in the same league as some of these, but here goes. We used to have cats, neighbours on one side also have cats, so we took turns looking after each others cats when they/we were away - fair enough, great arrangement. We no longer have cats as they were quite old and the last one died several years ago. We continued looking after the neighbour's cats as you do, consider them friends etc. They go away very regularly, several holidays a year plus lots of overnight trips and weekends away. Anyway to get to the cf part, I was summoned one day by text as they'd had a new back door fitted and wanted to make sure that I knew how to work it Hmm duly popped round to be shown said door (briefly) and then got a lecture on why I wasn't feeding the cats properly, ie the food wasn't cut up small enough and the cats weren't finishing it. I pointed out that they didn't eat much when their owners were away and also did lots of hunting which I knew having had to remove live and dead mice and birds from their property on several occasions. The lecture continued and I was too gobsmacked to tell them that if the free pet care wasn't up to standard then perhaps they need to make alternative arrangements Blush

Notimeforaname · 15/05/2020 12:06

I'm guessing that day is where you learned to say noGrin

You better believe it was TeaAndHobnob Grin
I was young and it was the first proper wedding I had been invited to.

It all just unfolded horribly in front of me as the day went on Grin

TeaAndHobnob · 15/05/2020 12:20

I was young and it was the first proper wedding I had been invited to.
It all just unfolded horribly in front of me as the day went on

Yours and @Rhodri I think are two of the worst ones I've read, horrible entitled people!

Notimeforaname · 15/05/2020 12:26

TeaAndHobnob at the end, father of groom was packing up several boxes of fancy champagne that hadn't been opened and I remember thinking "ooh perhaps we're getting a bottle of that as a thank you for our selfless acts of kindness" GrinGrin
Oh how young and naive I was.

I only found the dress from that day a few months ago, I was horrified looking at it and remembering how much I'd spent on it.. Grin I gave it to a friend to cut up for her daughter to play dress up with Grin

Saturdaysnotforexercise · 15/05/2020 12:35

We lived abroad for a couple of years when I was v small (DF had a posting).

Fast forward approximately 5 years a strange bloke walks up to the front door one Sunday mid morning while us children were playing outside. We exchange awkward glances as we don’t know who he is. Mum answers the door. “I’m so and so” he says. Mum replies that he has the wrong house. No I’m so and so, he replies. I’m sorry I don’t know you replies Mum. This goes on until it emerges he is the son of someone Dad met causally during the overseas posting and did the usual “you must look us up if you’re ever visiting [our country]” and stupidly gave her his address. (This was before internet etc so people didn’t stay in touch via facebook or whatever.)

CF added “I’ve come straight from the airport and I’m penniless”. He had a list on him which DM could read, which had names and addresses and CF assessments from his mum eg “should be good for a meal”, “should be able to stay” etc. As it happened DF was going out so offered to drop him at the youth hostel, which he did. Never heard from him / them before or since. I can only imagine looking back that he had the same delusion of most first time world travellers that everyone would be amazed and delighted to hear of his adventures and enable him to continue. Why his Mum who was presumably old enough to know better thought this I’ve no idea.

hadtojoin · 15/05/2020 12:57

I had what I thought was a good friend. She moved into a tiny house and with no garden while we had a very large garden ( almost a field). She pursuaded us to dig up and plant veg and fruit in part of our garden, we bought the seeds and did the planting between us. But from then on she expected us to water and weed the plot with no help from them and always made sure she had her more than fair share of the produce. The last straw came when she started calling our garden 'the allotment' We put it back to grass the next year.
The same CF helped us clear out one of our old sheds and got rid of most of the stuff or moved it to our other shed 'so we could use it properly'. A week later she asked if her DH could put a few things from his plumbing business in there. We agreed as they had helped clear it. The next time we looked in the remains of our stuff had been piled in a corner and it was full of pipes, old showers, sink and a macerator along with loads of stuff from their attic and he even had a bench along one side and almost a full workshop.
When they moved into a larger house with a garage we told them they had to move all their stuff out, It took nearly 6 months before they reluctantly moved it all, complaining all the time that they didn't know where they were going to put it all.
I haven't seen or heard from them for 5 years now.