Best CF Stories

[CupcakesAndCastles]

Lockdown sucks, what’s the best CF stories you’ve read?

Can anyone link the takeaway and taxi thread please?

Saturday were you posted in what would be considered a developing market? Some may take offence at that comment.

I have lived in Eastern European countries during the transition period and prior to DCs I was cornered by someone's au pair at a child's birthday party who wanted (I was told) to pass the afternoon chatting in her home language. My abilities had been very much oversold to her, I hadn't seen my friends for ages, I chatted for maybe an hour then politely moved along. She took my email.

Six weeks later she contacted me wondering if she and her "whole family" could come and stay at our house in London for three weeks. To be fair - she took no for an answer. But I think there was a general sense that I'd be really excited about this trip and happy to be caught up in it.

It was a brazen request on the surface though.

I would like some ideas for how to deal with a CF friend who never buys a round.

I tend to go out in a group of 5 mum friends. One of them is my best friend and the others I know pretty well and have been friends with for years. However, there is minor strain between myself and them as I bollocked them for something a few years ago (sorry, it’s a bit outing to say what it was but I was absolutely in the right to do it).

So, every time we go out, I buy a round, my best friend buys a round, the most well off of the other three buys a round, another of them usually buys a round...and CF never does. I noticed it about 18 months ago and since then she has not put her hand in her pocket once in a night out. Best friend also noticed and mentioned it to me. We conspired to sort it by not offering to pay for a round early in the evening so that she’d have to. OMG - we tried and tried - disappearing to the toilet only to come back and find that one of the others had paid, sending her to the bar for drinks then having the barman come over to our table for payment because she’d disappeared to talk to someone and not come back to pay for the drinks. She is an absolute CF round avoider master. How do we get her to pay her way without me having to have an awkward conversation with her (which would not go down well as I swear she and the other two are still holding the bollocking I have them once against me - I daren't even mention it to the other two in case they think I’m being a bitch. I’m not! I’m just sick of my friends and I finding every night out for her).

@Afint you need to do a kitty. She can't avoid that way, but don't let her control the kitty. Take a coin bag out with you and say "oh, found this in my bag! I'll look after the kitty". Then split remainder at end of night. If she doesn't want to be in the kitty she can just sort out her own.

Or alternatively, just point out she's never paid her way and challenge her on it. I couldn't socialise with anyone I was resentful of

I remember one where a group asked for a hefty donation towards a birthday gift, and the poster then found out she'd pretty much been used to pay for the whole thing.

Afint why do you think she does it? Is there any evidence of financial distress? Is she generous in other situations and it's just this one thing? On meals out does she pay for herself?

A kitty is a really good idea.

If you really cant/won't directly pull her up on it, you do your rounds as normal after everyone else has paid casually say "CFer, it's your round now"...
Or wait for 2 or three rounds to be bought and then say "who's round is next? ... Oh its just you CF and other friend left".... Keep pointing it out.

Though if it were me I would just say it out straight off the bat "you get the first one CF, you didn't get to pay one last time"

OVienna just say you aren't doing rounds because you always seem to be out of pocket. No need to get into a discussion, a simple statement of what you will be doing. Your friend will probably follow your lead leaving the others to decide whether they want to continue to subsidise her or not.

There's a possibility if you and best friend suggest a kitty that CF and the other two will brush it off and say No need. Just tell her "your round next love"

Or just say you don't want to do rounds any more and are just going to get your own drinks in.

Howyiz makes a fair point. Just say I'm not doing rounds tonight I'll stay on me own.

That shit wouldn't fly in Ireland, it would be like "here you, get the pints in ye stingy bastard"

Howyiz I am not the asker if the question. But I agree she can be upfront.

My friends and I stopped doing rounds ages ago, it wasn't cause anyone wasn't paying there way but we always ended up getting absolutely bladdered trying to keep up with the fastest drinker.... Fun times.

Tell her it's her round first or simply buy your own drinks.

I remember take away!

It’s surprising how some people have the no rounds thing down to a fine art. I barely noticed a friend doing this once till a mutual acquaintance said not to invite her because she had never ever contributed to anything. You have to make it blatantly clear or she will never change

God I hate rounds. If you don't get to buy one you have to hope you're all out again together soon so you can get in first. I only do it if there are three of us or fewer out

Sorry OVienna, I meant Afint

OViena she’s a bit of a CF in general. She’s an MLM bot (but has another job too so not short of cash) and seems to be a bit “poor me” in all aspects of life when really she’s got it quite good. I kind of wish the others didn’t like her as she’s a massive shit stirrer and I’d rather not see much of her if I’m honest, but we’re very much a group and there’s no way I’d be mean enough to try to get everyone to phase her out. I like the idea of a kitty - I think that could work.

If she runs away, look round find her and send the barman over, tell him she ordered so she pays.
I love just standing there and saying when did you last pay X....

I remember a few years ago I bought a people carrier.
A lady I spoke to lots on the school run asked if I had been to a place a few miles away that did afternoon teas.
Lets go one day she says......lovely says I.
Then ....I have 5 friends that want to go but they dont drive so we could pick them all up on the way,she started rhyming of the different places they lived in and we would have to make a day of it by the time I picked them up and dropped off again before end of school etc.

I said I'm not really comfortable with a group of people I dont even know so I suugest you go on your own with your friends and have a lovely time without me gatecrashing and I just walked away lol

This ex friend I mentioned a few times when I was very ill.
This story is maybe not her usual CF but she was also very entitled and everything had to be about her.

5 of us went out for a meal.
Julie had come straight from work,a stressful day and hadnt even had lunch and was starving.
As she was saying this we were given menus.
The pub cook comes over and say ladies We have a very large group arriving very soon so if you want your food before I start there order you better be quick.
So my now ex friend CF/EC whos having a starter,we all say no.
Julie says better not or we wont get our mains before the big group arrive.
CF/EC says you know I like a starter. So she goes to the bar to order a starter.
Waitress comes over and says right I have given that order to the cook can I now have the orders for the mains.
CF/EC says oh can I change the order for my starter I will have this instead.Waitress rushes to kitchen.
Comes back to our table and we all give our orders for mains
CF/EC is holding everything up umming and ahhing about what she wanted

One of the many times I just wanted to shout stop being a selfish cow.What really took the biscuit that night was when she called me boring for not drinking.
I had cancer and was on 25 tablets a day at that point....which she knew.

I have a friend who is notorious for never buying a round.

We have a big social group who is mixed with adults and teens and families. We all go to a sporting club together so that's how we all know each other.

One lad has been in said club since he was ten so when he hit 18 everyone took him out. Knowing that he didn't have much money as an 18 year old for the first few months no one really asked him to buy a drink.

Well now he's 22 and works full time and is as tight as it comes. He seems to think that we still don't expect him to pay for anything.

Well once a year there is a huge event in my area that's just a massive piss up. Everyone comes out for it. This year friend did his usual, shimmying right up next to you at the bar when you're getting them in hinting his pint was almost empty. He got away with this for 4 rounds until one of my friends said 'next pints on him, watch'. So we all finished our drinks and my friend proud as anything said 'right CF, your round'. We all passed him our glasses. He slumped off with a face like a wet weekend to the bar.

He then had the cheek to say to me shortly after 'I hope I don't have to buy many more rounds that just cost me £20 quid!'

Seriously some people 😂