Best CF Stories

[CupcakesAndCastles]

Lockdown sucks, what’s the best CF stories you’ve read?

@YouTheCat

I think I have posted all my stories before over the years.

I remember it. It was one of the most astounding incidents of cheeky fuckery ever.

I'd love to know what you included in the newborn basket. Would be great to get some ideas of what to do with my wee one

A CF on a CF thread - did you miss the bit where @CharDee actually sells the baskets?

I wonder if mexican house thief is rotting away in a south american prison these day

or decided to borrow from the cartel

A friend was going to a wedding. The invite asked for money towards their honeymoon complete with the reference number for the holiday booked at the travel agent.

The bride about a week before the wedding got a list of who had paid and contacted anyone invited who had not contributed, and also those who she felt hadn’t paid enough !

She told them to either pay more or ‘reminded’ them to make sure they paid before the wedding.

When bil and sil were moving house the council gave them a one week overlap so they could decorate the new place. Dh went up every night after work to help his brother decorate.
Bil hired a van to move and fil, Dh And I went down and helped. We got there and only 2 boxes were packed and sil had went out shopping.
We packed that whole house and moved it to the new place. Sil hadn’t even packed her clothes, I told fil not to come into the bedroom as there was bras hanging of the door etc.
Didn’t even get a thanks from them.

Not in the league of some of these but my husband was a CF today. To set the scene he's been furloughed and has spent the past 7 weeks sitting on his arse, save for once a week mowing the lawn and washing the car. I have to plead or nag him to do a few chores like hoover round or hang up wet washing. I meanwhile am working full time from home. I also cook dinner every night but that's another thread! We also take turns walking the dog every day. When it's my turn I have to be out at 5:45 am to walk for an hour and then get back have a shower etc before starting work.

Anyway, although husband has done sweet FA for 7 weeks, as soon as Boris made his announcement at the weekend he made plans to go golf again. Husband walked dog early yesterday then went golf. Sat on sofa rest of the day. Today I was up crack of dawn to walk dog while he went golf early again (followed by usual sofa surfing). He's arranged to go golf again tomorrow early. He came into the room I was working from this afternoon and asked if I wanted to walk the dog early tomorrow instead of him. When I reminded him it was his turn and asked why he wanted me to do it he said "to give him a break". I told him to fuck off.

LTB!

@HarderToBreath - I admit I missed the bit where she said she sold the baskets and just noticed the part when she said she gives the newborn ones away, hence I didn't think asking for ideas was cheeky. But I accept I was wrong and apologies for my inadvertent cfness.

I was living abroad and was taking a daily class to learn the local language, naturally became friendly with the others in class and exchanged emails after the course had finished .

About a year later out of the blue I had an email from one of my old classmates telling me they were getting married and would partner and I like to come.
I delightfully accepted and carried on emailing for the next few months, asking how all was going as she had no family or friends in this country.

I had asked about colour scheme /what bridesmaids were wearing as I didn't want to buy somthing similar, she said there would be no bridesmaids just family and a few close friends(I was neither, but was flattered I'd been asked) wedding would be at the city Hall and then a beautiful reception on a boat down the river through the city,quite fancy. Bride and grooms families were both extremely well to do.

Partner and I were poor students and living in a tiny studio but spent a fortune on outfits for the day,beautiful dress, suit and shoes etc.

A few days before the wedding I had another email asking could we help out with decorating the boat after the ceremony whilst bride, groom and family went for photos.
I agreed, happy to help out.
But then I was sent a very elaborate design for a huge balloon arch and table centre pieces.... when I said I had no experience in this and feared I would make a balls of it, the groom (who I'd never met) emailed me links to YouTube tutorials for professional party planning/design

Wedding day came, we'd made a huge effort, we were feeling far from poor students and looked/felt very fancy indeed

Arrived at city hall just before the bride, but could see no other wedding-y guests... Bride emerged from the car looking beautiful,in a big princess style dress.... walked towards me with a photographer behind her who began excitedly taking pictures of us both, I went to hug her as we hadn't seen each other in a year, she looked shocked, pushed me away and asked me what I was doing dressed like that.... It was all wrong and the photographer thought I was her bridesmaid... She looked very embarrassed and kept repeating 'oh my god no, oh my god'.... Turned out nobody was dressed up, men in shirts and slacks but women in cheap casual dresses /shorts and sandals hair tied back in a pony etc , it was the height of summer about 30°C..... Everybody was staring at us and bride actually told us to sit at the back of the room.

After ceremony, in the car park, partner was having a cigarette, groom approached and said we'd better get a move on that 50 more people will be arriving to the boat in 2 hours time and we absolutely needed to get it done. We were given an address to the quays and told to go.

Sweating on a filthy metro we finally made it to the boat, saw there were 300 helium balloons to inflate and design.
We couldn't get it all done by the time the guests arrived and parents of groom told us they were disgusted with us.

I wanted to leave straight after the meal but obviously couldn't as we were stuck on a boat.
We were assured boat would dock in time for the last metros/trains as we were living outside the city and taxi would cost €100 plus.
Well it didnt... and when we arrived back too late I mentioned we were stuck and asked if anybody was driving that way, nobody seemed to care and said their goodbyes.

On our exit from the boat mother of groom asked what in the name of God was this box on the table, I said it was the gift we had bought for the couple (couldn't afford to give cash) she rolled her eyes and said somthing along the lines of it wasn't traditional to give a physical gift and cash is the done thing.... Most horrendously embarrassing day/evening ever.

We ended up having to pay the taxi home using our overdraft and never received a thank you email/card, nothing.

As I'm sure you've guessed we never heard from them again.
People amaze me. 😂

I read this thread with horrified fascination. Then got paranoid - if I don't have any cf stories should I worry that I'm the cf?

BadTigerKitty I always thought the same thing!!
I would read these stories in amazement thinking "how can such things happen so often?!"
...... I must have blanked out what happens to me.... I only remembered after reading several CF wedding stories

*happened

A mum from school overheard that it was my daughters birthday coming up, and that I'd bought themed banners, balloons, tablecloth etc. She pulled me to one side and said," it's my daughter's birthday next week. We could borrow all that for her birthday party, then return it for your daughter's."

I was literally speechless!!! I stared at her, gone out waiting for her to say, "I'm just joking!" But nope, she was deadly serious! I just about mustered up, "Well it wouldn't be new and clean for my daughter's party then would it?!" She walked off. Avoided her like the plague since!

I would read these stories in amazement thinking "how can such things happen so often?!"

Because people don't tell them NO or just pull out in the middle of it and say not doing this anymore or stop them when they take leftovers or your food or the like with 'that's mine and I want to keep it'. CFers rely on people being shocked, polite and not stand up for themselves (note: this is not confrontation, this is simply, no, i won't do that/that's mine and I will be keeping it/i'm leaving now) to get away it. They know exactly what they are doing, they really do.

TinRoofRusty
They know exactly what they are doing, they really do oh absolutely, of course they do, cheeky bastards.....
I think it's just shocking if it's your first time to encounter somebody like that.
As with my story, it all seemed innocent enough almost until the day of... and I had no escape these were obviously masters at CFuckery.
I have well and truly learnt my lesson. Never again! No is my new favourite word!

LOVE a CF story.
Mine isn’t as bad as others. BIL/SIL are CF. My SIL parents are well off, DH/BILs parents were not at all.
BIL/SIL like to pretend they are very well off, but are incredibly cheap, especially where we are concerned but are happy to take handouts from us. They have no control over money and frequently get themselves into trouble. Over the years they have ‘borrowed’ money from DH/BILs parents and DH, but NEVER from SILs parents or siblings. I assume to keep up the facade.
We were going to theirs one Xmas, not really by choice but their insistence. We were told we would basically have to pay for Xmas dinner as they were skint. We were then told about lots of other things we were told to bring.
Xmas day comes, we are made to feel very unwelcome, served a tiny Xmas dinner, lots of the extras not even served.
Next day SIL posts picture on FB of HER family coming for dinner with basically all the food we have paid for and all the extras, huge spread.
Was a final straw for us (which was good as it actually got worse with them). I know from lockdown they are suffering financially but DH and I have agreed we won’t ever give them a penny again, they can go to SILs family.

We live in a small village. My kids do various clubs. New woman moves in and signs her kids up to all the clubs mine are in and when I go to get my kids, hers walked right up to my face and said to me, "Mum says you have to take us home!" and they got in the car. Just like that.
Their mum could easily have done what most parents did and either a) walk and pick her kids up or b) just let her kids walk home by themselves. It's a small village and nothing is too far really.
The CFer did win for a while because I just didn't have a good excuse not to take them (they lived near us but I did have to take a different route to drop them home) except for the fact that I simply didn't like them. They were obnoxious and rude. My own kids were so embarrassed at these obnoxious kids getting into their car that they eventually told me they didn't want picking up anymore and they'd bolt straight out of the club to run an alternative route home with their mates, avoiding the obnoxious kids.
One time the mum invited my lot to her DS's party. I declined (knowing my kids weren't keen) but she laid it on thick how her children would be soooo disappointed. My DD agreed to go. She's a people pleaser.
On the day CFmum asked if I could take a few things up to the venue early.
The "few things" were the entire party supplies. She hadn't organised any transport there at all. Once there she asked if I could just "help out for a couple of minutes". Turns out the helping out was in fact, running the whole party. She did NOTHING. I set up the tables, the food, the decorations and everything. She just acted like she couldn't do the tasks, so, not wanting the kids to get upset I just got on with it. In fact, the DJ came to me at the end for his payment because he assumed it was my child's party. I directed him to the mother. She was grateful to me but still, why organise a party if you are relying on conning someone to do it for you last minute? Had I said no then I have no idea what she would have done.

My DD agreed to go. She's a people pleaser.

She got it from you. Believe me, CFers can smell it a mile off. Not your problem what she would have gone, but CFers rely on people's guilt. I mean, honestly, think about the example you're setting your kids here. You actually prioritised some random obnoxious brats over your own kids. Instead of telling them NO you were willing to let your own kids walk on their own. This is sadly how people wind up putting up with really atrocious behaviour - they get the idea that other peoples are always more important than they are.

'My mum said you have to take us home'. 'No. I didn't agree to that. Your mum's mistaken. You'll need to walk.'

She told you to bring all the supplies and you went and did it? 'No. I said a few things, not all the supplies. You'll need to make other arrangements.' 'But I haven't got it all.' 'That's a real pity, but I'm afraid I'm not available to pick all that up.'

WonderfullyaMummy you aren’t being a CF at all. Ludicrous accusation. The contents of the other poster’s baskets are hardly some kind of state secret, where you have to purchase them completely in the dark as to what you’ll be receiving. No one would buy them if they didn’t know what was inside! It would only be CFery if you were asking in order to sell some yourself.

Youthecat

Ah yes thanks TidyDancer. God I enjoyed those threads!

However, I think the wedding boat story might equal it. What horrendous people!

And what is it about weddings that bring out such CF, rudeness and selfishness in people? If you can't afford a honeymoon, decorators or whatever fancy stuff you want, then have a small wedding and have a holiday in a few years.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1807864-to-say-no-to-this-request-from-a-friend

This is TidyDancer's first bridezilla thread, there were four in total!