Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Best CF Stories

999 replies

CupcakesAndCastles · 11/05/2020 13:46

Lockdown sucks, what’s the best CF stories you’ve read?

OP posts:
AdoptedBumpkin · 14/05/2020 11:56

That neighbour staying in the Mexico holiday home. Wow!

SisterFarAway · 14/05/2020 12:17

When I still lived in Germany, about eleven or twelve years ago, the daughter of friends applied for a fully paid scholarship to spend a year at an American private Highschool.
She asked me to look over her application and essay as my English was better than her parents'. Did that on a Sunday afternoon at their place, it was actually quite nice as her mum had made cake and all that. She got the scholarship and the parents were very grateful.
A few years later she had it in her mind that she wanted to study in London, could I please look over her essay, but could I please do it straight away and the UCAS deadline was in two days?
As I was a bit of a mug, I did just that, not even a word of thanks. Then didn't hear from her until last year, when she had a trip planned to the UK for her University Course. She wanted to stay with me to safe costs. This time, I was very polite and said something along the lines of, really sorry, but unfortunately I don't have the space (which is true).
Told her we could still meet up, when she came to London, but strangely haven't heard from her since.
Not sure where she got that CF gene from as her parents are very normal non-CF people.

TinRoofRusty · 14/05/2020 12:39

I agree, TreeTop.

runabath, I think it's incredibly cheeky to have a destination wedding, which expects guests to pay more than the norm to attend, and still expect wedding presents.

amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 14/05/2020 12:46

Oh my God

@YeahWhatevver I've finally caught up on the Mexican House Thief story and my mouth nearly smacked the floor.

I was expecting the story to be quite underwhelming with the amount I'd heard about it. MY GOD Grin

ProfessionalWeirdo · 14/05/2020 12:56

I've just caught up with the Mexican House Thief story. OMG.

WonderfullyaMummy · 14/05/2020 13:22

@CharDee - I'd love to know what you included in the newborn basket. Would be great to get some ideas of what to do with my wee one.

Keepingitschtum · 14/05/2020 13:56

Mine is tiny compared to yours!

Have a friend who is a girly girl, very popular and lots of friends. Friend was getting married, friends hen do was in one of these cottages you stay in with a hot tub, games room, bar etc etc and loads of bedrooms.

Long story short - more people that go the cheaper it is.

I went, I spent about £400 all in for the weekend. It wasn't cheap for a weekend away. It was also agreed we would chip in for the bride as she shouldn't have to pay for her hen. This extended to food and drink all weekend.

Roll around wedding time other girls were bridesmaids, invited to stay the night before for a pamper evening and dinner.

My invite it turns out was only for the evening do. I'd spent a small fortune and I wasn't even invited to the wedding.

Rarely heard from bride after that until she started up selling Herbalife and then she was all over my phone for weeks 😂

attillathenun · 14/05/2020 14:55

There’s a guy in our office who is a CF food stealer. We have regular catered meetings and he sneaks in to fill up his lunchboxes once they are done (our employer used to actually let us have the food before he started but stopped because of people taking the piss). Once there was pizza and he took 4 full boxes to have at home later, and decided to put it under his car until he was leaving work so it didn’t stink the car out. When he went back later the ants had got to it which bloody serves him right! He’s been known to sneak into random weddings at hotels too and fill his pockets and face from buffets!!!

cleanasawhistle · 14/05/2020 15:04

When I had cancer a friend/neighbour would constantly knock on my door for a visit.
I had said to everyone while going through chemo that I couldnt have unannounced guests ,that even on a good day I would have to lay down in the afternoons,but it kept happening.
She would also send her child around all the time to play with mine.

One Saturday afternoon I was quite poorly and in bed and husband had gone for some shopping.
Knock knock on the door.I ignored.
5 mins later phone starts ringing,caller id says friends number.
Phone stops ringing then starts again.
5 min later door gets knocked repeately again.
Repeat many times for about 40 mins

Turns out a fair ground had set up in town and her daughter had noone to go with........only time ever she offered to have my child while I was ill and it was only because her kid was desperate to go to the fair and she had just wanted to drop them off and leave.......

Same friend/neighbour worked a few days a week and her mother had her daughter those 3 days.

few week later....Another neighbour (Lucy) phones and asks how I am etc
If well enough would I like to go to cinema with her and her son and if not she would take my son anyway.....so we went.

Same cheeky friend/neighour bumps into Lucy and she told her about the cinema trip.
Cheeky cow phones up and says her child hadnt gone to grans that day and was at home alone while she was at work.
I should have checked before I left the house to see if her kid had wanted to go to the cinema also.

I was gob smacked and just didnt have the energy to say anything.
Never bothered with her since

cstaff · 14/05/2020 15:05

My friend (Kat) got married about 15 years ago. Her friend (Ann) got married about 2 years prior to her. After Kats wedding they met up and were comparing notes on their weddings.

Ann asked Kat so tell me, who "forgot" to buy you a wedding present. Kat really wasn't interested in playing this game as it really isn't her style so she was giving answers like I don't know or can't remember. Ann kept on pushing for an answer and saying things like oh there's always one and you definitely remember etc.

Eventually Kat just gave in and said ok you want to know, it was your bloody sister.

cleanasawhistle · 14/05/2020 15:11

A very long time ago used to work in the same shop as my best friend.
We did different shifts and when she was at work I would help with taking care of her kids depending on her husbands work pattern.

I had been living with a boyfriend at the time.
He had attacked me and I had to pack up and move out.
Phoned my boss and said I needed a week off to get myself sorted.

My friend put her name down for all my shifts because she needed the money....then went mad at me because I wouldnt babysit while she did my shifts

Jokie · 14/05/2020 15:41

@attillathenun I wonder if we know the same person! At a recent conference, they took all the food they could hold for breakfast, then brought Tupperware to take more food back to their hotel room from lunch so they didn't need to pay for dinner in the evenings.

Back in the office, we learned that he had given his family "presents" from the free merchandise that you got from vendors. He was proud of the fact that he could get all his Christmas shopping done at a conference from the free vendor merchandise.

CallaLilli · 14/05/2020 15:56

@attillathenun and @jokie I know someone like that too. He once asked a colleague for her Netflix password as he's too tight to get his own!

LakieLady · 14/05/2020 15:59

That summer, the farmer told me he was having a big party for all the villagers and would I like to come. I was touched that he’d invited me, so turned up on the night only to be handed a tray of drinks and told to circulate and provide people with food and drink. It turned out he’d done the same to his other tenant and several of his farm workers and we were only there as servants

Something similar happened to me, but at one remove, so to speak.

I had a friend who was a catering tutor. She used to cater parties etc "on the side" for people she knew, to make a bit of extra dosh.

She was doing a big outdoor party for the 50th birthday of an old friend of her partner's, that I'd met a few times many years earlier (the friend, that is, I'd known her partner for aeons) and told me that the host had invited me + 1 to the party, and that we could all pitch tents in their orchard and it'd be like a mini festival etc.

My then partner and I drove 100+ miles to get there and it was complete chaos when we arrived. The host didn't have a clue what he was doing and his wife was having some kind of screaming meltdown. My friend was up to her ears in the kitchen, trying to get the food prepped and in a blind panic, as the hosts' teens who were supposed to be helping her had fucked off out for the day.

I stepped up to help her cook, while our 2 partners plus another old friend cut the grass, fetched tables and chairs from the village hall, put up a stage and outside lighting, and fuck knows what else.

Finally, our tents were up and all was ready. We showered and changed and started to relax as the first couple of other guests arrived. As I walked across to the table full of drinks to top up my glass, the host asked me if I knew how to make a Kir Royale. I started to show him but he wandered off so I made 2 for the couple who'd just arrived.

Before I knew where I was, I had a fucking queue of people wanting Kir Royales and it slowly dawned on me they thought I was the hired help. After a couple more minutes I decided this was taking the piss and just told them all to help themselves and wandered off to enjoy myself.

I don't know how I restrained myself when some pompous arse accosted me and asked me to get a scotch & soda and a G&T for his wife. I just said "Sorry, but I'm a guest. I'm sure Host will show you where to get a drink".

Comparing notes it became obvious that all those of us who'd been invited at one remove, as it were, were treated as unpaid labour. Musician friends had been "invited" to bring their instruments in case they fancied "a jam" and were then treated like a hired band and asked what time they were going on stage. Two other friends had been asked to check people's invites on arrival, others were rowed into setting up gazebos and shite.

My friend was mortified, but she'd been taken for a ride just as much as the rest of us. The following morning, someone told the hosts' wife that we'd been treated like staff but had believed we'd been invited as guests and she went ballistic. She screamed and shouted at Host in 3 languages, shrieked about what a cheapskate and a skinflint he was, apologised profusely to all of us and was horrified by the whole business. She and host split up a few months later and he went bankrupt.

I'd forgotten all about that night until I read that post, but 25 years later I'm still not over his cheeky-fuckery.

Buddinghell · 14/05/2020 16:05

I made friends with the new girl at work. She was more qualified than me so paid more, but only newly so and I assumed she might have had large debits to clear. We were both single mums but she rented a small very expensive place whilst I had cheap social housing.
Anyway we were good friends and I was happy to “lend“ her £10 here or there and bought her the M&S meal deal so she could have something nice with her daughter every once in while. Anyway this went on for years despite the fact she was on pretty decent money now and had moved into a large subsided rent house. I was always invited round for wine which she of course never had in, to discuss her tragic love life and online dates.
Anyway I told her DP had a friend who had become single and she suggested she have a dinner party with us and another work couple. She then suggested I bring a starter and my DP the pudding along with said man to fit with her Spanish evening, Her dinner party was a tiny serving of paella each. That’s it. Apparently we were being “treated” as the seafood in it was so expensive. Luckily there was loads of the antipasti bits I had over bought, to bulk it up. DP brought a choice of two puddings One never came out of her fridge. She had also only got one bottle of cheap white wine to share between us. The other couple and my guest had bought one and luckily DP had bought 4 - 2 red and 2 white. None of the food or wine we had bought was offered back to us at the end of the night and I left feeling we had basically hosted the dinner party. She thought DP’s friend was weird.

I then left the job and work threw a leaving party to which everybody bought food. She’d offered to host. Again none of the left overs were returned including a large stack of beautiful cupcakes personally made for me. I went round the next day to collect them as I was a bit miffed and she had frozen them because “there were too many to get through” !

The last time I had anything to do with her was a double date. She had met a new bloke online but she didn’t want dinner alone with him. I suggest a nice restaurant that has a fajita night special ( knowing she’s cheap). She then got DP to pick her up as he was “ driving me anyway so her date could leave his car in town”. Anyway nice meal but the bloke was young and clearly out of his depth. The bill arrives which is £120 with drinks . Tumbleweed from their side. CF friend clearly thinks date should pay, date doesn’t want to ruin his chances by asking to split the bill, I make a point of offering my share to which DP says don’t worry, I’ll get it “ clearly talking to me and the other two say thanks! Luckily DP is not poor (and has a sense of humour).
DP who is by now completely incredulous at her capacity to be a CF, taxi’s them both back to hers.

YouTheCat · 14/05/2020 16:06

Cleanasawhistle, did you post on here about it?

hadtojoin · 14/05/2020 16:08

A good friend asked me to look after her son (10) for the last week of the school holidays. She was a single mum and it was a rare free holiday 150 miles away. I agreed as the boy was well behaved and got on well with my 3 sons. She left her two dogs - collie cross and small terrier and her cat at home alone for her NDN to feed. They had access to the garden through a big dog flap. The second day The NDN phoned me to say the dogs had barked all night and the other NDN were planning on phoning the RSPCA and/or police. We had a very large garden so I had the dogs but left the cat.
The day she was supposed to come back she phoned to say she had decided to meet a man she had been writing to who lived near where she was staying and would be staying an extra week.
When she came back she gave me £10 for looking after and feeding son and dogs for 2 weeks.
5 months later she got married to said man and didn't even invite me to her wedding. I haven't spoken to her since.
The Karma was when she got back to her house there were 1/2 eaten birds, mice and a rabbit scattered throughout the house that the cat had brought in.

QuestionableMouse · 14/05/2020 16:29

Small thing but really annoyed me at the time.

Visited a friend who lives in Canterbury with my sister. On the second day we all agreed to meet up for breakfast. Money was a bit tight (I'd budgeted carefully for my food/spending money) and friend/her brother both ordered huge fry ups and milkshakes while I got poached eggs on toast and my sister had a bacon sandwich.

Time came to pay and friend and brother for up and fucked off leaving me with the bill. The bother hadn't even touched his milkshake.

I paid for mine and my sister's and pointed the manager in friend's direction. After much arguing she paid for their meals.

I could tell she wasn't very happy but their meals came to something like £25 and I just couldn't afford it. I'd also never said anything about paying for their food, she'd just assumed.

Kinda spoiled the day but no way was I letting her get away with it, especially as she earned about £500/month more than me and still lived at home rent free!

The next day we had another argument because we were headed to Whitstable and decided to share a car. Brother pitched up next to the driver's door of mine and held his hands out for my keys. Err not likely mate, especially because he'd written off two cars and wasn't insured (though he told me he had 'classic car insurance' that covered him.)

We don't speak much now. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Afint · 14/05/2020 16:31

Mine is nowhere near as bad as a lot of these but has to be taken in context - the CF in question has done the same thing to nearly every parent in our children’s’ class at school and her elder child’s class’s parents too:

So, I was introduced to CF just before our DDs started reception together. She seemed nice enough. A mutual friend had a quiet word with me that day and warned me that she was a CF who had a reputation for palming her DD off on anyone and everyone and to be on my guard. Sure enough, that evening (approx 3 hours after I’d first met her), CF texts me and asks if I can have her DD that evening so she can go out with her husband. I declined as a) who does that? and b) I didn’t want to get into having her DD as my friend had already warned me about it. She asked me again a few time’s over the next few weeks but I said no every time so she stopped. All good.

A couple of months later, she comes up to me in the playground after school. Her elder DS was going to football club so could she and her DD come back to my house (near to school) for a coffee and a play so she didn’t have to go home then come back again? Fine. After an hour she went to get her DS, leaving DD with me and saying she’d come and get her when she’d got DS. Half an hour later I got a text saying she’d taken her DS home for a shower so I’d need to give her DD her tea and take her to the school disco later - her disco clothes were in her school bag!!!! She had clearly planned to do this all along. I fed DD, took her to the disco a couple of hours later with my DD and went home. 10 minutes before the disco is due to end I got another text - she was “a bit busy” so could I please pick DD up from the disco and she’d pick her up later? At this point I said no. I had already clocked pyjamas and a toothbrush in the school bag along with the disco clothes so I was pretty sure that the next suggestion was going to be for me to have DD overnight. CF! I didn’t have a car at the time and they lived too far away for a young child to walk so she knew I had no choice. I just said “sorry, my DD is going to bed as soon as we get in so I can’t pick up your DD” and turned my phone off.

Lochroy · 14/05/2020 18:03

NCT first birthday party, one couple kindly agreed to host. We agreed to order in food platters, splitting the cost equally, and BYOB, disposable plates, cups etc. Literally host providing a venue but not having to do anything. All good. Host kindly asked what people wanted in terms of platters from the web site, and one lady just kept adding and adding stuff! It was only afternoon nibbles and cake really. It was ridiculous. It cost something like £45 per couple. Just shy of £400 of food!

On the day, I took a bottle of fizz as thanks for the hosts in addition to my own drinks. We all helped clear up at the end so hosts didn't have too much to do. There was far too much food. I think about half leftover. No one was offered even a slice of cake to take home, even though we'd all paid towards it. If it had just been a little bit then fair enough the host should have it for her efforts, but there was a whole side of poached salmon, a whole cake, it was crazy. Years later I can't decide if the bigger CF was the one that insisted on so much being ordered or the hosts!

Florencenotflo · 14/05/2020 18:09

A colleague and I were inadvertent CF's! We went on some training together at a hotel. The training was in house they just used the hotel as a central venue. Lunch time the trainer says there are refreshments in room 4. We go round and pick up a plate and start perusing the buffet. We were surprised as our company never pays for lunch and there is enough food for 20 people, only 8 on our training. Then the people who have actually paid for the food arrive. Luckily they found it funny and we hadn't picked up more than a couple of sandwiches.

Found our trainer in room where our lukewarm tea and coffee were waiting with the directions to a local Tesco 😂

Florencenotflo · 14/05/2020 18:10

Room 6 that should say!

sixthtimelucky · 14/05/2020 18:24

My favourite ever CF story spanned over a couple of 1000 post threads, was about five years ago I reckon.

Don't know if anyone remembers or can link...

So OP gets save a date card for old friend's wedding in their home town. She's pleased and looking forward to it. Just before the wedding she realises she's not invited but bridezilla in complete seriousness asks her to decorate the village hall for the wedding because she is good at crafts and she simply doesn't have time and can't afford a wedding planner etc. Bride and sister are gobsmacked and furious when she refuses, even when she explains why and sister goes on and on at her to do it.

YouTheCat · 14/05/2020 18:36

It was TidyDancer's thread.

BladeOGrass · 14/05/2020 18:58

My only CF is a lady I met through our DCs attending a club together. She seemed nice, but very blunt in her manner. No problem.

Our DC were meant to move up to the next school together, but when my DC came home from school in Sept, they said her DC wasn't there. I dropped her a message enquiring and discovered that they'd decided he'd be better off at boarding school, but told no one. I was baffled, but it was none of my business ultimately.

She moved away after a few months, but we sort of kept in touch. The following Xmas I got a lengthier version of 'hi, how are you, are you around during X week so we can meet for coffee and get the DC together?" We were, so I said yes... and then the CF bomb dropped.

"Great! Let's meet for coffee at the start of the week. Could DC stay with you for five days from A to B? I have so many people to see back in (town)."

I trotted out the line I learnt from MN: sorry, that doesn't work for us.

Swipe left for the next trending thread