Best CF Stories

[CupcakesAndCastles]

Lockdown sucks, what’s the best CF stories you’ve read?

[NCuserfromtheblacklagoon]

I was at the coffee shop with a newish ‘friend’ while he ordered our drinks. It was his turn to pay that day but I’d had inklings he was a bit of a tight sod. Anyway, he said that maybe we should skip cake as we’ll be eating lunch later. Not particularly fussed I agreed. Then when he ordered cake for himself he looked at my surprised expression and said he’d changed his mind and “you said you didn’t want anything”!

A few weeks later a mutual friend told me he felt sorry for CF friend as he was skint so had bought him several drinks in the pub one night while he unburdened himself about how life had treated him so badly. I happened to know that CF friend had just ordered a £35,000 sports car as a runaround second car to cheer himself up! This really annoyed me as other friend was on minimum wage living with his parents and couldn’t really afford to be buying CF drinks all night - and CF knew it!

Weeks later a third mutual friend told us in the pub that CF was severely depressed and couldn’t get out of bed in the morning to finish decorating his house (full top to bottom renovation). Could we all go over and help finish the job to get him back on his feet! I said no and was treated like some arsehole as helping out is “just what friends do”.

I stood firm as I was onto him by then. They all went and finished his decorating. Months later he sold up and moved away. He texted to say he’d never liked our shithole county and please don’t contact him in future because he wanted a ‘clean break’ and he hoped we all understood. Lol!

[RapunzelsBuzzcut]

Years ago I went to a reunion party for a group of people I’d worked on a foreign charitable project with. I asked if I could bring anything, they said nice bread or cheese.

I needed to do some shopping for the week ahead, so stopped in at the supermarket and bought a baguette, wine, and nice cheese, plus a full bag of groceries for myself. Got to the party and put the things out, and tucked the other bag away under my coat.

Nipped to the loo and when I got back all my groceries for the week had been opened and laid out on the big table in the living room!

It wasn’t even party food, it www stuff like cartons of long life orange juice and bags of carrots.

[Keitepeheakoe]

Did you put them back in your bag Rapunzel? I would have!

Mine is boring. We had a friend who still lived at home and was supported by parents. He came to visit for a movie night at out house and bought a bags of crisps. We had also provided crisps, snacks and dinner with dessert. Anyway we are munching away and after the movies he gets up to leave with a bag of crisps. At the doorway he thanks us and I say ‘are you leaving us the crisps as a thank you for our hospitality?’ ‘No!’ scoffs he. ‘Yes you are’ say I ‘as they’re our crisps!’ I gently took the crisps from his dumbfounded hand and closed the door. CF

[RapunzelsBuzzcut]

Sort of. I was too awkward to say anything since people had already started tucking in, but before I left I gathered up everything that hadn’t been opened. I remember taking the carton of orange juice they’d opened (who brings long life OJ to a party ) and pouring it into my empty water bottle while making aggressive eye contact.

Your story reminds me of a time I was slightly CFy. My mate invited us back to hers for an after party after the bar closed, so we did a supermarket run for booze and snacks. (She’d just moved in so didn’t have much in.) I bought a bottle of very nice vodka, and a big bag of crisps. When I eventually stumbled out of the party at 4am I noticed the unopened bag of crisps on her table and decided to pinch them as the perfect snack for the journey home. To be fair I was very drunk and I did leave the vodka.

[TreeTopTim]

Cheeky fuckers only get away with things because people won't stand up to them.
I don't know anyone who behaves like this because I wouldn't put up with it.

[Disfordarkchocolate]

@Tunnocks34 I feel for your SIL, she had none of the advantages your husband had.

[Coffeecak3]

@disfordarkchocolate I agree. I would imagine there is some seething resentment by sil basically being left to cope alone with her dm.

[23trains]

I agree with @Disfordarkchocolate and @coffeecak3. That poor SIL. If I was the brother in that situation I hope I’d do everything I could to help the sister - he’s had massive advantages she’s never had.

[runabath]

We had a destination wedding a couple of years ago. Several guests proved to be CF's. Firstly a family member asked me to book his flights along with mine, never any offer to cover the cost and no wedding gift! Another guest ditched his wife who was named on the invite and brought his friend who I barley new so they could have a lads weekend away, also no wedding gift. Another guest didn't like the set menu and spoke the local lingo so ordered a completely different course and drinks at the pre-wedding dinner (night before) all paid for by us. I just thought it was rude to do that in front of all the other guests not to mention the additional cost to us!

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

My two best friends fell out over dog child care.

Friend K wanted/expected Friend S to take holiday from work and use her annual leave to look after Friend K's dog while Friend K went on holiday.

No cash was offered for this. Friend S was supposed to stay in Friend K's house (which was always pretty grubby and miles from Friend S's work) for the week. Using her own A/L to do so.

Friend S would've done it, because she's lovely. But had recently started a new job and was unable to actually get the time off.

This ended the friendship. Friend K was utterly unable to comprehend why Friend S couldn't just skive/call in sick to work so she could look after this dog.

Ended my friendship with Friend K. Saw her differently after that.

[woolyrab]

A v generous friend hosted an afternoon get together for her husbands 50th. Lots of drinks, few nibbles, fabulous cake, lots of effort made. She'd made clear it wasn't a full catered gathering food wise but lots of drinks of all types. An endlessly CF mutual friend rang ahead to say her and her partner were running late, could she plate up the sandwiches and keep to one side? She was told no. She arrive with 3 mini wine bottles, drank one, drained a bottle and a half of the hosts lovely Esmerelda then as she left, took her remaining 2 minis with her. No gesture of a gift for the birthday man. Over and over she does this. Her birthday is dec and coincides with another in the friendship group. On discussing celebration plans she said "I'd like to have a house party this year". Wow said everyone, not like her to host. She laughed "oh not my house! One of yours!" Nope.

[GetYourGoatYouHavePulled]

I agree with @Disfordarkchocolate and @Coffeecak3. The SIL was probably left behind to care for her mother as she was female and likely to have been expected to be the carer. Things could have been different For the posters husband had the SIL also been male.

[GetYourGoatYouHavePulled]

My personal CF story isn’t as good as these but still irked none the less.

Lived in a house share a number of years ago. Had a long day at work (left the house at 7am and got home after 8pm). Hungry but in no mood to cook I put some oven chips in the oven and sat down in the lounge to watch tv while they cooked. House mate, who worked part time and finished work several hours earlier came in from the gym and went into the kitchen. After 20 minutes of hearing her puttering around I went in to get my chips. They were sat on the side, uncooked as she had taken them out of the oven so she could use the grill (was combined) to cook her dinner as she was hungry.

[Coffeecak3]

@getyourcoatyouhavepulled how did you not beat her round the head with the baking tray?

[Pliudev]

My DH was asked to lecture on a cruise ship. I couldn't get time off work so he asked a friend if he'd like to go. Friend got a free, two week cruise in a twin bed room. However, he complained so much and so often about DH's snoring that DH spent several nights sleeping on deck on a sun lounger and when it got chilly (it was a cruise to the Baltic) on a chair in the library. Daft or what?

[GetYourGoatYouHavePulled]

@Coffeecak3 I was sorely tempted. I had to walk out of the room before I did something I regretted!

Got my own back the next day though. Got home late-ish again and she had work colleagues over for pancakes (was pancake day). All the pans etc were mine, including the two frying pans she was using. I waited until she took the pancakes out of each then, without a word I took them off her, put sausages in one and bacon in the other. I didn’t even want sausages and bacon but I would have been damned if I was going to let her use my pans after the previous night. She obviously didn’t know her colleagues well as everyone looked very uncomfortable and were obviously shocked at my rudeness. I continued to cook my sausages and bacon making sure they were overly done so the pans blackened over nicely so they would have to wash it if wanted to make more pan cakes. Then I sat in the lounge on the sofa in between two of her colleagues turned on the tv (also mine) and kept turning it louder and louder each time they tried to speak. After a while they stopped talking and just sat in uncomfortable silence while I happily munched on my sausages and bacon. Her colleagues left after about 15 minutes and I never saw them again.

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

I kind of feel that inviting someone somewhere and then snoring so loudly that they cannot sleep is CF behaviour.

Two weeks is a long time with crap sleep. I'd lose the plot too...

[Tunnocks34]

@Disfordarkchocolate I completely agree, it’s really messed up the family dynamic to be honest. OH feels guilt which is why he gives SIL basically whatever she asks for, as he knows she doesn’t have the opportunities he had, but at the same time, he now has no real relationship with him mum now, as she didn’t contact him from being 14-18. So what’s happened is this big sort of divide where he is frequently criticised by his mum and sister, then they ask for money which we will give, if we can’t afford to (because we’re not particularly wealthy) we get called snobs, and told that OH would be nothing if he wasn’t sent away etc.

It’s sad because they all love each other but there is resentment and jealousy for sure.

[GetYourGoatYouHavePulled]

@Tunnocks34 that is so sad for all involved. It’s not your husbands fault he had opportunities and shouldn’t feel guilty about it, but I definitely understand the jealousy from the SIL- though she does seem entitled. I understand him wanting to help when he can but she should be grateful for it and not see it as a given right.

[ProfessionalWeirdo]

Some years ago one of DH's relatives got married. MIL was invited to the wedding (on the other side of the country) but we weren't. It didn't bother us as we didn't know the couple very well anyway, but MIL was quite upset because she'd only be able to go if we took her. She was convinced that the couple (knowing full well that she wouldn't be able to go if we didn't go too) had only invited her so that she'd send them a wedding present.

[honeylulu]

The oven one reminded me of a partner at a law firm where I used to work. He was so self important that anyone else barely registered with him.

If someone was heating up their lunch in thre microwave and came into the kitchen to do his, he would immediately stop the timer and take their food out and put his in, even if he would have had to wait less than a minute. He had to have what he wanted RIGHT NOW.

He was later asked to leave the firm when it emerged he was helping his clients fiddle tax and was eventually struck off. Good. Horrid man.

[Coffeecak3]

@GetYourGoatYouHavePulled. Ha ha. I would love to have the confidence to do that. I’m a wimp.

[twoshedsjackson]

Many years ago, one of my friends married a folk music enthusiast (folk clubs were very popular at the time) and we were duly invited to the wedding. We weren't invited to the reception afterwards, but fair enough, we weren't that close, they knew a lot of people, catering can be expensive. I learned from people attending that it was to be a "folkie" reception, with lots of traditional dances, like a barn dance.
Then I got a phone call from the groom-to-be, who I knew slightly. He had got wind of the fact that I had a set of records (I said it was a long time ago) which not only had the dance tunes on, but a caller giving out instructions. I ran the after-school Country Dancing Club. He'd obviously decided to economize on the cost of hiring a live band and caller by borrowing the records, but it became plain that he wasn't going to add to expenses by having two extra guests at the reception; he wanted just the records, not us...…(even a token attempt to invite us would have got him by!)
Luckily I was not too gobsmacked to have my wits about me; unfortunately, as I used them at school, I kept them at school (lie) which was now all locked up for the holidays (true).
I wasn't that surprised when my friend the bride subsequently lost patience with his cheese-paring ways and relieved when she gave him the heave-ho, and our former friendship revived.

[Khione]

It was a sub zero night in January. I went to bed about 11 and was just dropping off when the phone rang.

My friend, "We've just landed at the airport and it's freezing. Can you go to my house (4 miles away) and put the heating on for me" "Eerrrr no, I've gone to bed". Well you can put your clothes on over your nightclothes --- It's cold" ME "I thought you were going to boyfriends when you got back". HER "I don't want to now so can you just go and put the heating on for me - it won't take long". ME "Nope, sorry, I'm in bed was nearly asleep and anyway you'd be half way home before I got there". Phone goes dead.

I found out then she phoned another friend, who was a bit more awake than me who said she could come to hers for the night. She went there, friend went to bed having made CF a bed up in the lounge.

Got up in the morning to the smell of smoke in the lounge, a plate with 4 cig butts on and a note saying she couldn't sleep so had got a taxi home.

[CharDee]

Recently my sister in law has "started her own business"

She had her son last year and was a bit of a dick in only wanting to tell family members the sex of the baby - which didn't include me, despite us giving her a very expensive pram that we had bought for a baby that I had lost. She also asked me to have niece or nephew on my day off each week. Anyway that all got sorted and forgotten about because I didn't want the drama! I told them I didn't want to get involved in family issues and left it at that.

I used to run my own baby groups which included messy play, sensory play, music and stories as well as other things. I don't do that anymore but still make up baskets, packs and bags to sell with different things in. I always give new parents a special sensory basket which includes info about sensory play and other activities etc so she got one when she had her baby.

So my sister in law has made her own Facebook page and business selling items. She's basically ripped off everything I do and passed it off as her idea. She even copied word for word a little info sheet I had put in her basket. Someone asked her how she got all these amazing ideas and she just said it was something she's always wanted to do and thanked them! She is constantly posting on Facebook all her expertise and it just makes me laugh more than anything!

DH saw this page before I did and he text her to ask what the fuck she was playing at and she said that she was sure I wouldn't mind some friendly competition. It's far from friendly though as she has stolen all my ideas!