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Original poster

Best CF Stories

999 replies

CupcakesAndCastles · 11/05/2020 13:46

Lockdown sucks, what’s the best CF stories you’ve read?

OP posts:
PyjamaFan · 27/01/2021 17:12

I used to have a colleague who would follow me to my car every day for her free lift home. I heard her moaning that I didn't give her a lift each morning too.

I let it go as I knew I would soon be leaving. Also I was very young at the time. I wouldn't get myself into that situation now.

BashfulClam · 27/01/2021 17:45

@Puzzledandpissedoff she doesn’t like that I can see right through her and her poor dotty old lady act. Can’t change a light bulb, can’t hoover her own stairs, can’t put away her own shopping, can’t understand forms....all the drudge work
Is stuff she ‘can’t’ do. We were carless for a month or so, we got a new car and didn’t tell her for about 3 months! It is having trouble with the ignition right now so it’s easy to say ‘oh we can’t trust the car!’

khg1 · 27/01/2021 18:14

@CakeRequired

A lady came to pick up a large garden hammock in a mini, thereby ensuring we had to load it into our car and drive it to hers. Which isn't the end of the world but would have been nice if she'd asked if we minded.

No that's when you smile and wave, while 'browsing the internet' videoing the idiot and watch her try to fit a hammock into a small car.

It's their own fault. Take the money, dump the item outside and walk away.

Ironically we were offering it for free on Freecyle!
itchyfinger · 27/01/2021 18:18

@bashfulclam - your MIL probably had a mortgage and a car to run when she was raising your DH. Begrudging your mother a tea and cake or chippy dinner is stingey as fuck.

woodhill · 27/01/2021 18:23

Disagree, she shouldn't expect your DH to constantly pay if it's her idea especially if she is well off, it's her idea and you are struggling financially.

Thedarknightsarelifting · 27/01/2021 18:26

@itchyfinger I couldn’t imagine having my kids pay for things when they are struggling to raise a family knowing I was financially comfortable.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 27/01/2021 18:36

She doesn’t like that I can see right through her and her poor dotty old lady act

IME they rarely do ...

BashfulClam · 27/01/2021 18:49

@itchyfinger no she never drove and never worked, fil worked hard to keep them housed. We don’t begrudge it we can’t afford it constantly. She has more money than us. So your kids will just have to lump it if they are struggling but you want a chippy?

BashfulClam · 27/01/2021 18:52

@itchyfinger it’s also not an occasional treat it’s every week and the act of trying to avoid it that pisses me off!

scoobydoo1971 · 27/01/2021 19:03

I had a bad accident and was having investigations to determine why my toe fractures were not healing as expected. Turned out to be a rare brittle bone condition requiring much surgery and treatment. I was looking after my mum at the time who was going through a second cancer operation. Life was painful and stressful. There were times when driving was not possible due to steroid treatment in my feet etc. Asked boyfriend to give me a few lifts (in my car using my fuel). For context, I had given him money towards his start up business, paid for a holiday and been quite generous with gifts. He said if I got worse, he would need to be salaried as my 'carer' as he didn't think it fair to waste his time ferrying me around...I duly dumped his mooching self and upgraded to someone who would go to the ends of the earth for me. Never settle, I reckon.

LadyMayoGoodway · 27/01/2021 19:10

Not being invited to a very ‘select and exclusive’ (🙄🙄🙄) baby shower along with a few others. But then we were all asked by the organiser to send a gift and a card which we could conveniently drop off with said organiser. Cheeky fucking bitch!

BashfulClam · 27/01/2021 19:17

@scoobydoo1971 that reminds me of something apt ‘never cross oceans for people who wouldn’t jump puddles for you!’

CharityDingle · 27/01/2021 19:31

@louisejxxx

Does anyone remember Liftzilla?! Sadly in the end I think it turned out to be a less than genuine story but my god it was entertaining while it lasted.
Yes, I do. It's the one troll I have a soft spot for. Grin
RootyT00t · 27/01/2021 19:32

I need to know about liftzilla

HarrysWife · 27/01/2021 20:04

It's the one troll I have a soft spot for.

I have 2. The one who said she was being stalked and had broken baubles left on her driveway etc.

Second is playzilla (probably remembering title wrong). The lady who was basically stalked and harassed by the woman at the play centre and had to get the police involved.

RootyT00t · 27/01/2021 20:04

@HarrysWife

It's the one troll I have a soft spot for.

I have 2. The one who said she was being stalked and had broken baubles left on her driveway etc.

Second is playzilla (probably remembering title wrong). The lady who was basically stalked and harassed by the woman at the play centre and had to get the police involved.

Was she a troll??!!
Janicejaniceahmfallin · 27/01/2021 20:06

God, some of these are jaw-dropping - no one will ever beat MHT, but a lot of the Bridezillas (Paris boat wedding story - WTF?!!) come close.

Mine’s relatively tame and I’m afraid is yet another version of CF bill splitting ... my BIL, whom I love dearly btw, unfortunately has form for being ‘careful’ with money (except when there’s another bit of useless shite he wants to impulse buy for himself). Quite a few years back, DSis, who is generous to a fault, had got some reward vouchers which could be spent on food at a particular restaurant if you ordered with wine etc. She invited me and DH to go for a meal with them, which was lovely. We all had small kids at the time and rarely got a chance to go out together, so we decided to make a night of it and have a few cocktails & some nice wine.

BIL was really pushing the boat out with the booze, but we were all having a really good time so thought nothing of it. Eventually we were the last ones in there and were told the place was closing. He suggested we all get coffee and liqueurs, which we did, and he threw in a last minute shout for yet another bottle of red wine, which arrived as the staff were starting to put chairs on tables. The bill comes and BIL pops the vouchers on the plate and says, “that’s the food covered then, our treat” and goes off to get his coat. The food was about twenty quid a head all in. The rest of the bill, with tip, was £180. DH was too surprised to say anything. We’d assumed the food would be taken off using the free vouchers and the rest split between us, but apparently that wasn’t the plan at all. BIL even swiped the just-opened bottle of wine off the table and disappeared into the taxi with it! DSis was mortified when she found out what he’d done, but that was a few days later and I just ended up telling her not to worry about it, even though I honestly thought it was a proper piss take on his part.

Thehouseofmarvels · 27/01/2021 20:07

My fiancees Grandmother had a hugely valuable family heirloom painting in her house featuring an aristocratic ancestor from the 19th century. It always went to the eldest son and so it was left to her brother but she begged and begged until she was allowed to have it in her house. The brother had a daughter so when Gran died she wrote in her will the painting she borrowed should go back to the actual owners heir. Fiances mother took it from Grans house, tore of the massive elaborate golden frame and threw it in a hedge. Not sure why guess it just wasn't her taste. She then tried to persuade the cousin to let her keep it as her mother had persuaded her brother. The cousin refused to let her keep it but let her have it copied. It returned 6 months later utterly wrecked, with the actual painting badly damaged and cost the cousin £4000 pounds in to repair for which there was no apology. The cousin is nice enough to have forgiven her and still even keeps in touch via Christmas cards.. shes a much nicer person than me to have been able to still keep the relationship going and not let that incident get in the way of their relationship.

HarrysWife · 27/01/2021 20:17

@RootyT00t

bauble lady definitely was and im not sure about softzilla

GorvidAl · 27/01/2021 20:17

@RootyT00t

I need to know about liftzilla
I’m always a bit mystified by this kind of sentiment.

It’s a false story. There is no ending and about 95% of the time, the details are made up. The whole CF thing has been one of the worst things to happen to MN because it is an absolute troll magnet.

GabsAlot · 27/01/2021 20:23

softzilla wasnt a troll she even came back a year later to update but couldnt say much it was going to court

RootyT00t · 27/01/2021 20:27

@GorvidAl

My favourite kind of thread!

Elliania · 27/01/2021 20:40

I've just realised my examples were all the same person!

When we were in our early 20s we used to drink with a group of friends in a pub about a 20 minute drive from where CF & I lived. Usually my Mum would bring us home but to get there we'd either get a taxi or, more usually, my DP (who was part of the friend group, it was how we met) would pick us up. To get to CFs house you had to drive up a narrow road with cars parked either side which was a nightmare if you met something coming the other way,and then really hard to find a space to park while we waited for her to come out. Eventually DP got fed up with this & asked if we could collect her from the end of her road. Well you'd think we'd asked her to walk all the way to the pub! The first time this arrangement was in place she phoned me up in a panic as DP and I were walking out the door to say she was running late and could we please drive to her house? So we did and she was waiting outside, clearly ready!
The next time this happened she phoned me several times getting more and more desperate. "I still need a shower you'll have to come to my house" "I still need to dry my hair you'll have to come and get me!" "I still need to put makeup on, you'll have to come here" After the third one I snapped slightly and said "Look, you're wasting time calling me. Go get ready, we'll wait at the end of your road and if you're not there by X time we'll have to go" (She was notorious for being late as well). "No no no, I won't make it, that's not fair, you'll need to come here"
Well we waited at the end of the road, she didn't appear so we left. She arrived about 45 minutes after we did, sulking because we didn't come to her house and she'd had to get her Dad to drive her. Never had a problem with that again, although she did whinge a bit when I started staying at DPs house which meant she needed to pay for a taxi home by herself.

Oh and then she sulked because my Mum wouldn't let her eat a kebab in the back seat of Mum's car "But I've just bought it and it'll get cold" "Well I'm sure you have a microwave"

This was also the same person who borrowed a book from me, took it on a several week long trip to the US, left it there so she could bring home her own shopping/gifts etc and then when I asked for it back offered to give me the name of the person she'd stayed with so I could pay them to send it back. When I told her she'd need to replace it she tried to give me money for a paperback version when I'd lent her a hardback. "But that's so much more expensive" "I know that's why I want the right amount of money because you left an expensive book IN ANOTHER COUNTRY".

We''re not friends any more.

louisejxxx · 27/01/2021 20:50

@RootyT00t yes I’m sure it ended up either being a troll or a reverse.

Sorry to the pp who asked for a link - I think the threads (and I’m sure there were multiple) got deleted.

BlueThistles · 27/01/2021 20:51

@HarrysWife

It's the one troll I have a soft spot for.

I have 2. The one who said she was being stalked and had broken baubles left on her driveway etc.

Second is playzilla (probably remembering title wrong). The lady who was basically stalked and harassed by the woman at the play centre and had to get the police involved.

SoftZilla was a TROLL !? 😱