Best CF Stories

[CupcakesAndCastles]

Lockdown sucks, what’s the best CF stories you’ve read?

I’ve long moaned on here about some of the very inconsiderate and antisocial behaviour on the footpath that crosses our land and is very near our home (dog poo, rubbish, cyclists using a legal footpath)

Along with many others during lockdown, I have busied myself with all manner of household domestic chores.
One of these chores was cleaning our windows, inside and out.

As has been the case during lockdown, there’s a steady stream of walkers using the footpath. Some, I note, seem to be locals, but unused to walking alongside countryside paths (eg, wearing white trainers when it rained several weeks ago and audibly complaining about the mud and puddles), as well as professional ramblers with backpacks and walking sticks.
It’s a very pretty footpath and our home is a character building (*will leave it there as don’t want to self identify). Walkers often take a photo of the house and the view.

Before VE weekend, I busied myself with cleaning the windows and was surprised to hear a walker’s voice shouting at me to move out the way so they could take a photo...
(I didn’t)

@AquaFaba they asked you to move from your own window so they could take a picture? That is ridiculous

ChocolatelyAsFuck excellent revenge!

This happened a few years ago. We organised a weekend away with a group of friends and their kids at a family run "center parcs" kinda place. Two of the group organised everything, set up the full "accounts" for the weekend and deposits etc. It was agreed upfront that everyone pay for their own lodge and then a Kitty for food and drink would be done for everything else.

It worked perfectly and avoided issues with some of the group not paying their way. The second morning arrives and one family don't show up for breakfast which was highly unusual for them. It turns out the park had sent over a "welcome" hamper for the group and this family decided to keep it all and eat everything in it rather than share.

Their reasoning? Their lodge didn't have as many ensuites as the others (it did but that's another story). Everything in the hamper was gone by the time the group realised.

The family were not invited again.

@Jokie - intrigued as to the en suite situation now!

@Jokie
That's great karma. They miss out on future fun multi family holidays! (Which are the best!!!)

I like to think that CFs ultimately burn through friends and family & get reputations for it, until they end up with no one wanting to invite them to things nor help them again even if they could.

What little CFs gain short term, I think they ultimately lose over the longer term in all the things that matter ...

I am mostly vegetarian, eat some fish. I used to regularly go to dinner with a bunch of friends, who were the type to order a dish each and then all share each others, eg Indian or Thai or Chinese.
I'd order my vegetarian dish, they'd all order meat ones and then take some of mine each, leaving me with mouthfuls to eat. And of course, split the bill.

Took me about a year before I said, actually, I am just going to eat my own as you all order things I don't eat but still take most of mine. They hadn't even noticed. Now they order at least half vegetarian or fish and share.
So good result in the end.

@glitterfarts I've noticed the same being vegetarian with meat eaters. I pull it up immediately, I like my food. When everyone's sharing and reaches for mine I just say "oh this is mine, you guys have all that to share but i cant have any of that so this is all I have" the worst is when they consider the vegetarian stuff the shares and then have their own meat dishes extra. But I make it very clear at ordering that I'll be eating the whole e.g chow mein and if they want some they'll have to order another one.
I do think they just genuinely dont notice that 90% of the food on the table I cant eat so that 10% is fairly all mine.

OH and I went to a pub we hadn't been to together before, but I know well. Got there soon after opening in the early evening and sat ourselves down at a table. Before long a three-generation family group turns up and to our incredulity start filling up the remaining seats around the table and looking pointedly at us, clearly expecting us to do one. It quickly got uncomfortable so I said to OH, "er, shall we get out of these people's way...?" and we got up. As if land-grabbing the table off us wasn't CFery enough, as we left they still had enough cheek left to inform us that OUR attitude stank.

UnderperformingSeal

Not condoning their attitude at all, but did you really need to occupy a table for, what, eight people when there were only two of you - when there were very likely going to be lots more customers arriving shortly? Were there no smaller tables, more suited to your number, that you could have chosen?

Or were there plenty of large tables available that could accommodate their number, but they nevertheless still chose to force you out of yours? If that's the case, then they are 100% out-of-order CFs.

When everyone's sharing and reaches for mine I just say "oh this is mine, you guys have all that to share but i cant have any of that so this is all I have"

Same with splitting/not splitting meals - surely this is something you would carefully agree beforehand and make sure that everybody is completely happy with that arrangement? Why would you just assume that there are no vegetarians, non-drinkers, people on a budget, significantly lower-cost consumers not wanting to heavily subsidise the high-cost consumers?

I only usually drink fizzy water when eating out and don't drink alcohol anyway, BUT I tend to make the most of it with a filling starter, big meaty mains and several side orders. I usually eat little or nothing during the day and 'save myself' for it. I want to be able to stuff my face push the boat out without shame or making more boring restrained people feel that I'm expecting them to sub me in so doing. How can those who do expect and insist on this look their families/friends/colleagues in the eye again afterwards? How do they even have any friends - and keep them - or family who stay full-contact?!

@Clevererthanyou That's up there with the Mexican house thief of CF behaviour! I just did the math and if I'm right (I'm terrible at maths) and the deputy has spent at least £6000 in 5 years on his lunches! I would have told the tight bastard to get his own sodding lunch!! and making you go to the chemist and pay for the spray no way would I do that! I would have sat there and waited them out tight fisted sods!

@Unicornsareevil I'm going to borrow a phrase I saw a fellow MN use I don't think I will ever pick my jaw up from the floor!!! The CF not only dumped her kid on someone she barely knew but actually told the bar staff you were babysitting him whilst she fucked off clubbing!! She basically made you look like an incompetent, neglectful and an alcoholic "babysitter" I'm glad you told them the truth and left them to return the poor kid home to his grandparents and she won't talk to you because "no one likes a grass" what a fucking cheeky cow! That's abandonment and she's lucky the bar staff took him home and didn't call social services!

@STAYTHEFUCKHOME: it's a little boring so I omitted it. As I mentioned, everyone paid for their own lodge and there were ensuites/showers as standard. One family chose a slightly more expensive lodge because it was the only one left in the "group" of houses and it happened to have a sauna in the bathroom. This stirred the CF family the wrong way and they wanted that house even though they paid for the cheaper one, but because their bathroom didn't have a sauna, they felt they were worse off.

When one of the organisers went over to CF house and found out what had happened, they packed what was left and took it back to the main group. The CF family were unapologetic.

Had the hamper only been left in their house though? If I was in a house I would assume that a hamper had been left for that house only and all houses had one. Where did the find this hamper?

No, the owners had brought it around and the CF family were the first they saw. There was a note in it for the group and it was addressed to the person who made all the bookings and not the CF family.

Oh wow that’s really greedy and such and horrid quality. Glad you saw through them in the end

Lucifer666 there was one instance when I was out on a Saturday with the deputy and we were in a shopping centre, mooching about and having lunch together when the manager phoned her and asked her to pick up baby formula and drive it to his sister as she had no money. We were 15 miles away from his sister and he lived a 4 minute drive and owned a car.

We had a uni reunion meal. Me and my friend were on diets so we had a buffet. (So salad) and paid accordingly. Everyone else shared the cost of the pizza. We were harrassed to get salad for the pizza eaters. So go up with our plates once, get salad, allow the pizza eaters to take it, then go up again for our food. The organiser then started moaning at us eating healthily. We paid our bills (ours was more because of the buffet) and left a tip. Then a woman said “I’m putting this on my credit card” took all the money (including tips) and paid. She got her meals paid for and made some extra on top.

@Clevererthanyou did she do it?

@washyourhandsyoufilthyanimal - of course she did. We left immediately and she went straight there, she wasn’t repaid by him obviously.

@Clevererthanyou shocking!!!!! Did you say anything to her?

Can anyone post link for Mexican House Thief thread? Searched here and nothings coming up only posts mentioning it

It was on this thread it’s not it’s own thread I’d that makes sense it’s one of the comments.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1735637-Have-you-ever-encountered-anyone-this-cheeky

@Washyourhandsyoufilthyanimal - when I first noticed that he was taking the piss out of her yes I did but she literally just shrugs and says “it’s the way he is” so I give up.
Once he gave me a lift in to work and I asked if we could stop at a shop to get lunch for later, he barked at me “Lunch? It’s only half past ten for fuck sakes, I’ll send Deputy out later. Oh I just can’t decide what I want right now, I’ll choose later and send Deputy she doesn’t mind”. It was the biggest over reaction I’ve ever seen 😂

Cleverer
He's an ongoing CF
But she's a mug
She knows he's taking the piss but is running around like his maid who pays for the privilege of maiding
It mu be so annoying to watch it all play out. (At least you can keep your head under the parapet and don't give him any lifts or his wife!!)