Best CF Stories

[CupcakesAndCastles]

Lockdown sucks, what’s the best CF stories you’ve read?

Love this thread (but it also makes my blood boil, a decidedly mixed pleasure). One I’ve recalled is so cliched CF it barely warrants a mention. Single mum when my eldest started school befriended all and quickly started asking for play dates, the return ones she always hoped might be “sleepovers because DD would love this” meaning could she have an overnight with latest boyfriend. We soon figured it out. Sadly she never stayed with any partner or any new career (she started several) for long, life for her was always about palming off or otherwise dodging responsibilities

Pretty minor in the grand scheme of things, but I once got a all from the mum of one of the girls on DD's rowing team asking if we could pick her up and take her to crew practice later that day as she had to work. She had form for this and I usually did it as it wasn't really out of our way.

This time however we were 200 miles away from home, visiting universities in a different state with DD, so I explained that and declined. Dead silence, as I think she was stunned that I had said no, then she said "If you leave for home right now you'll be home just in time to do it."

When I told her that we were staying over that night to visit another uni the next day she said "shit" and just hung up on me.

When my DD was 4 or 5ish she got an invite to the birthday party of the son of a mum from our NCT group. I phoned to accept but was told that the plans had changed and they now had some other boys coming; DD was no longer invited as girls weren't welcome anymore.
A day later the mum phoned back to say that the other boys had cancelled so she now needed DD to go to make up the numbers.
Strangely, we were busy that afternoon.

Just thought of another one.

This was a person who I worked with several years ago.

A group of us all worked together and regularly went out, including CF.

Every Friday lunchtime we all went to the pub. We had an informal rounds system where we all got a round every few times and it worked out fine. Except CF who was an expert round dodger.

She was excellent at holding the door for everyone or just nipping to the loo to avoid ever being first to the bar.

The best was when we all went out one evening for a meal and drinks.

As we were all eating similar amounts and we’re all on the booze, it was decided we’d split the bill.

When the bill comes, CF gets her phone out and uses the calculator part on her phone to work out how much we all owe including tip. We all put our cash in and CF goes up and pays.

Afterwards CF goes to the loo and waiter comes back and gives me the receipt. I just shove it in my bag.

Well the next morning, when I’d sobered up, I looked at the receipt and realised that CF had calculated the bill so that she didn’t have to pay anything! The rest of us had contributed enough to cover the full bill plus tip!

I then remembered that CF always did this. We used to go out at least once a month and CF always took charge of the bill. I then realised why!

After that, I did the working out of the bill and watched carefully while she got her money out and put it on the pile. (Not easy when you’re bladdered! 😂) But in true British style never said anything to her about her CFuckery.

Eloise that’s not just round dodging that’s straight out theft. I think even I would have to speak out.

Oddly enough a family cf is the opposite in the pub - always the first to buy a round / shout everyone the meal. But on a larger scale he is an immense CF in gaining handouts and hand downs from his parents, with no concern about his siblings being treated equally. He has two younger sisters who have had some help but somehow he manages (despite no evident need) to blag his dad’s cars, help with his mortgage, family heirlooms etc. The feeling is that his DF is very old fashioned and seems to think the eldest son is entitled to everything, the rest of the family are appalled at his shamelessness.

Longtime lurker who's just signed up to post this:

Some years ago I worked for a company in Scotland but that had its head office 'down south' in Nottingham.

One Christmas it was announced that the company was paying for a meal at a nearby hotel for us all (just a five minute walk from the office). That was nice, what was less welcome was that all the 'big bosses' were coming up from Nottingham to attend.

So, the day of the lunchtime Xmas meal came along and we all trooped along to the hotel. The senior management were already there e.g. the CEO, company secretary, treasurer, etc. etc. - they'd taken the 'top' table in the dining room and everyone from our office were sitting at two long tables that stretched down the dining room away from it.

We were expected to do a full afternoon's work after the meal so I didn't feel much like drinking any alcohol and ordered a Coke with my meal. Quite a number of the folk from the office decided to contribute money to a kitty however so that they could order themselves some bottles of wine. One of their number asked for an empty champagne bucket and this was passed down one of the long staff tables to the bottom; with each of my co-workers who wanted wine chucking in five or ten pounds.

Once it reached the bottom of the table it was passed across to the bottom of the adjacent table and then passed back up. I wasn't really all that interested so lost track of it after that.

It was only after the meal, when we were walking back to the office that it dawned on me that I hadn't actually seen anyone drinking any wine. I asked the chap who I was walking beside what had happened to it.

Apparently, once the ice bucket reached the top of the second 'staff' table, the company secretary had got down from the head table. walked over, picked the bucket up and taken it back to his seat. My colleague thought "That's great - the management are going to contribute some money to the staff kitty!".

No such luck, the management just kept the bucket, and its contents, and ordered themselves multiple bottles of wine for themselves with the cash.

@Cal2020 That's awful!! Didn't anyone say anything?

I went out on a big pub crawl one night with a group of friends. As we arrived at each venue one cf friend would announce that she was going to the loo and requeated that i got her a drink promising to buy the next one. It wasnt till i ran out of money that i realised she had been doing this all night from pub to pub and hadn't actually brought a drink all night, everytime it was her round she conveniently disappeared.
When i finally told her it was her round and she owed me quite a few drinks she said she'd had enough to drink and wasn't going to do any more rounds. 15 mins later i caught her playing the same trick on a different friend. After that I never brought her another drink again but she continued to scrounge off other people for years.

I went out for a meal on a works xmas meal. we all paid the same amount and extra for a tip as it was a set meal. The change was left on the table as a tip. While we were all having a drink and chatting i noticed a member of our table checking the receipt. she counted out the left over change and pocketed it. I was really annoyed because it was all of our change not just hers and it had been agreed we were leaving a tip, at the time i didn't want to cause a scene so i said nothing.
The next day I mentioned this to my best friend who had organised the meal. I was really regretting not saying anything becuase I felt guilty about the tip. My best friend explained that she had actually paid for this womans meal and drinks becuase she said she couldn't afford it. She had agreed to give my friend a lift home as a thank you but when my friend got out of the car she asked her for an amount of petrol money which was about double the cost of a taxi. The CF got a free meal /drinks /petrol money and she swiped our change.

A friend was in a mens skittle team, one of the team only ever drunk 'halves' rather than pints like the others, but drank slowly so he finished his drink at the same time. They never used to ask him to buy a round as he was drinking less than them, but often the rounds became split so 1/2 the team would have a new round then shortly afterwards the other 1/2 would buy a round. He would check round the table so he finished his drink each time a round was being ordered. On the rare occasions they said it's your round next he would dissapear to the loo just before and come back 'too late'.
Another friend in a different team only drank whiskey he always stood his round but would always ask the buyer if it was ok if he had a whiskey instead of a pint as it was dearer. It was a few years before he realised that prices had risen and he was actually doing them a favour as a pint was now dearer than a whiskey.

When DS was born my FIL and MIL had decided to buy some new wardrobes, they were fitted and decided not to pay for fitting but to get DP to fit them instead (DP is very good at DIY), he wasnt asked if he wanted to do it, he was told.

The week he fitted them was the week that DS was born, DP had taken a week of work - unpaid - to spend time with DS and to take our older children to school, however, he spent the whole week fitting the wardrobes, the whole bloody week.

He didnt even get a thank you, just moaned at by his mum for leaving some sawdust in the conservatory.

Still boils my piss 20 years later.

They still havent changed and keep offering DP to various friends for DIY jobs without asking and when they found out that he was in charge of recruiting at his work tried to get all their friends children jobs. "Dave's son is looking for a job, i am sure you can get him a job there", you need security clearance to work at DP's work, Dave's son just getting out of prison was a bit of a blocker.

Never pulled any strings at their places of work to get DP a job when he was made redundant and we were on the breadline with 3 young kids.

Bumping for more!!

This is my Mum's story, I hope it's OK to post it. She had a friend who was very dynamic and bossy, who invited my Mum and another woman to help clean a flat she had bought. My Mum and the other woman turned up with buckets, mops etc and were left there to do the work while she swanned off! This created a lifelong bond between my Mum and the other woman who couldn't believe the cheek also a story which made us all outraged and laugh so much.

An elderly gentleman near us has no support from his adult children- also nearby. I willingly added his groceries to my online delivery. I now find out that the daughter has added her shopping too!
My dh carried this very heavy shopping to him this morning as I have been classified as extremely vulnerable.
He is very grateful indeed.

I a risky just thought of two. I was I a bar when I was 18 and a girl turned to me a said ‘can you give me money for a drink?’ She was a total stranger. I said ‘oh no sorry I just have enough for myself tonight. She then pointed at my full glass ‘what’s that?’ I told her it was peach schnapps and lemonade. ‘Can I have it?’ Wtaf ‘no sorry!’ ‘Well can I have a sip?’ No go away ffs! I just shook my head and walked away.

The other was when I was much younger to and I was getting changed to use the gym. I heard a woman saying to another girl my age in the changing room ‘yeah just leave it behind reception and I’ll get it tomorrow!’ She handed over her kit and trainers . Non of my business though. So I did my workout and when I can back to the changing room the girl was sitting in there. The conversation went:
stranger: ‘just finished your workout?’
Me:‘yeah time to get home’
Stranger;‘I don’t know what to do I forgot my kit!’
Me:’oh that’s a shame‘
Stranger:’could I borrow yours, I’ll leave it at reception for you?’
Me:‘Erm it’s really sweaty’ and thinking didn’t she borrow kit anyway?
Stranger:oh I don’t mind’ whaaaat??
Me:’oh no I am using the gym again tomorrow so I need to take it home and wash it, I only have one set’ (total lie)
Stranger: ‘what shoe size are you?i could take your trainers!’
Me:‘no sorry I dont share shoes!’

She then said she wanted to use the pool but had no swimming cossie. Well go home you weirdo, who hangs out at the gym with no kit and accosts strangers for their sweaty worn stuff?

My old team used to have a lottery syndicate. One of the very senior managers used to co-ordinate it, which I thought was quite sweet and down to earth of them and I know the PA was grateful as jobs like that always landed on her lap.

Every now and then we'd get three numbers so it just got reinvested for the next time and we never actually saw any winnings.

A bunch of us got made redundant (including me and the very senior manager) and so we had a big leaving do on our last day. The very senior manager's son came along for some reason (and kept trying to get off with me) and mentioned something about how lucky their parent was with the lottery and how they'd just booked a swish holiday of which a chunk came from their various lottery wins.

At the beginning they had given out the numbers (which never changed) and none of us ever checked as we trusted the very senior manager to be honest. However, after the son's bragging I checked the numbers from the previous six months (which took a while) and there had been a couple of decentish wins - each under £500 but would have been a nice bonus for everyone.

We'd all left and nobody kept in touch (there was a lot of bad feeling about the redundancies) so I didn't have any way of telling anyone else (not sure what I could have said as it would have just pissed everyone off).

I was really young then, now I would definitely tried to do something about the thieving fucker (like go to the police rather than stab them)

We invited my husbands aunt, uncle, son, daughter and boyfriend to our wedding. The RSVP said aunt uncle and daughter were coming but the boyfriend and son weren't so we invited 2 other people in their place.
Imagine my surprise when she arrived at our wedding with 2 unaccounted for friends!

3 years later she was getting married and we received an invite for my husband and I ... we also had a newborn at the time so we checked whether we could bring the baby as I was breastfeeding and she said no... I wouldnt have minded as we had no children at ours but the sheer cheek of her behaviour at mine was just gobsmacking lol.

I once lent a teacher friend a waterproof coat for a school trip. She lost it on the trip. A few months later, when another trip was arranged, she asked me if I could lend her another coat!

There are so many on here that have me screaming why didn't you say anything?!

Another kids/mum one. A school mum accosted me in the playground in front of our kids telling me that the village Brownie pack had places and how her DD loved mine so so much she was desperate for them to go together. It didn’t really suit us with pick up times and other commitments but as soon as DD heard about it she went on and on that she wanted to join brownies with her best friend so we caved and agreed to a trial.

First week I got a call from the mum, saying “has your DD joined Brownies yet as me and OH are out at a party tonight and need someone to pick up our PFB from Brownies?”
Gobsmacked I agree and ask if I should drop her at theirs or at the grandparents and the mother responds “oh no it will be easier for you if she stays over at yours tonight and you can just take her into school tomorrow”!

She has already sent her daughter into school with an overnight bag as they go straight from school to Brownies.

I still can’t believe I went along with it, but she had put the phone down before I could disagree!

And guess what... after that I have barely seen that family again!

@Jobsharenightmare I think the reason people don't say anything is because these cheeky fuckers seem to know instinctively that people are either conflict avoiders and are too nice and polite to say "NO". I used to be a pushover until I realised I was just being used now I challenge cheeky fucker behaviour every time someone tries to do it to me and they quickly get the message

Went to a friends 40th, we were so skint as we'd just bought a house and a lot younger than most of the other people there we shared a garlic pizza bread as our main meal which was £3.50
Other people there were drink 4+ bottles of wine each starters mains etc. It was looking like it would be a 'split the bill' jobby so DH paid ours at the bar when he got a drink the outrage that we didn't contribute £100+ pp was horrendous. However DH is a solicitor and the argument was his, but the audacity to try and pin a bill of that magnitude on people who literally shared a starter is just awful. Really soured our relationship with them, which was funny to see them try and creep back in when he got made a judge but no, true colours seen

This has reminded me of a situation we had many years ago. My daughter (who was about 8 then, I think) became best friends with a nice girl from school who lived in the next street. She began, over time, to spend a LOT of time at our house, often turning up early in the morning at weekends and leaving at tea time, and every afternoon after school. I didn't mind as they got on really well and she was nice to my younger two, but I was slightly concerned that her mother never made contact - I wouldn't have let my daughter spend so much time with a family I didn't know.
Then it came to the summer holidays - I was a teacher then and was at home, and this girl began turning up at 8am every day and staying until 5ish - again she was no trouble, so whatever. One day we were going to the beach for a day out so I told her not to come on that day - no room in the car for an extra one. On the appointed day, there she was at 8am. I reminded her that we were going out for the day so she needed to go home. She argued that she could come with us/sit on my daughter's lap in the car. I had to be quite firm and said we were leaving soon so she needed to go home. Ten minutes later she was back in floods of tears. The house was locked and her mum was at work so she couldn't get in. The penny dropped (probably far later than it should have done!) - I was being used as an unpaid childminder by someone who hadn't even bothered to meet me, let alone ask if it was OK!

@millefeuille1 that is shocking!! What did you do?

@millefeuille1 what happened next???