Best CF Stories

[CupcakesAndCastles]

Lockdown sucks, what’s the best CF stories you’ve read?

Clevererthanyou but that works out as a thousands of pounds! at least £5 a day x 5 days a week x 48 weeks a year

He's a massive CFer!!!!

Sparticus- you and I can calculate that but despite me telling her word for word that she’s a fucking mug ( the deputy) she just goes on with it.
The bosses wife was in his car when he picked me up one morning for a meeting elsewhere, she had a cold and was properly theatrical moaning about the pain etc when I told her she needed an antiseptic throat spray. Boss pulls up by a chemist and says oh we’ll check for the spray here ... neither of them moved out of the car Wife says “ what? IM supposed to go in am I?” So I got out of the car on my crutches and bought the throat spray in the chemist, returned to car and handed it over - “oh, ok” was my thanks and off we drove

Clevererthanyou
It runs in boss's family clearly !! And you were on crutches?! Even without that, it's total CFery. Blimey boss and his wife view you as servants to their whims!
One day... one day.., someone will call them out in it. I can't get over the £6,000- £9,000 for past 5 years that deputy has spent funding Boss's lunchtime meals. That's a holiday in St Lucia or two!

When my DD was at preschool they were only open from 9.15 until 1pm. This suited me because I have flexible work. It was a lovely little preschool and I told my friend how nice it was and she wanted to send her DD there. But friend had a job that wasn’t flexible and I said she should stick with her nursery which is open all day.

Anyway, next thing friend tells me that she’s enrolled her DD at my preschool 3 days a week. I asked her how she would work it as her and her DH have to start work at 9. She said her SIL had agreed to do drop offs and pick ups.

About 3 weeks in and friend tells me her SIL is being awkward and saying she’s ill and can’t do some drop offs.

So I said “if you’re stuck, I can help”. Meaning the occasional day if SIL is unable to do it.

Friend says thanks. Can DH drop her at yours on his way to work? I say no problem thinking it’s just once.

Well you can see where this is going can’t you.

3 days a week for a whole school year, her DH dropped her at mine at 8am and I then took both girls to preschool for 9.15. I then picked them both up at 1 and kept her until my friends DH collected her at about 2ish.

Didn’t even get a thank you.

I house/pet sat for someone recently, including an exclusively indoor cat with bowel issues. They left no toilet paper, no towels, no snacks (not even any biscuits) and had counted out small change to cover the cost of pet food.

I took great pleasure in drinking all the posh gin I found at the back of a cupboard.

I had a "friend" (school mum, chatted, not close). She had got a new job which finished later than school. She was mentioning that she was struggling for childcare for 2 or 3 days a week as someone had let her down and would I be able to help. I said I would help out while she sorted something out, but I had applied for a job which was after school and if I got it then I would not be available. Got "No problem, it won't be for long". So I started having her ds after school for approx 2 hours a day.
This went on for more than a month & it was obvious from a few comments that she had stopped looking for somewhere else & felt it was sorted. I told her when I was invited for an interview, & a few weeks later I was offered the job. I then told her I had got the job but the start date was 2 months away & would be happy to continue looking after her ds until then which would give her chance to find someone else (which was what she should have been doing all along).
She got really stroppy saying that this was putting her in an awkward position, making life difficult, etc. I was .
I pointed out I had told her at the start that I was doing this as a favour temporarily. She still went off in a huff.
The next time I had him & she came to collect him she was a bit off & said she didn't need me from next week as she had enrolled him in an after school club in the next village, but this was going to "cost her a small fortune"! I bit my tongue, smiled and said "glad you sorted it out".
Apparently dc didn't attend the club for long & dgp ended up having him.

No good deed goes unpunished!

School mums are the worst sometimes. Every time there's a party a fellow school mum who I'm not exactly close to, would hint or outright ask me for a lift because she "can't get there otherwise".
I did it for ages, travelling out of my way to pick up then having to take them home too (meaning I couldn't get DH to go instead as the favour was mine to do, not volunteer him for.)

Took a while to find out but I always wondered why her DH's car was sitting in the drive when I picked up and dropped off. I discovered that he was home every time but he didn't want to drive his own children to the parties and the DM didn't want to learn to drive (her choice but then also her burden). Anyone else would have been happy taking turns driving them but if he didn't think his kids were his problem to sort out then they definitely weren't mine! So I stopped being their chauffeur.

My dh's family are greedy, entitled CFs which I initially tolerated. But my dh was an electrician by trade and what began as small jobs as favours, escalated to large unpaid jobs. At this time we had just bought our first house which was essentially a wreck. At one stage I was sitting with a concrete mixer inside the house whilst he wired up sound systems in people's homes.

It all ended when his Uncle asked him to completely re-wire his house. It was a huge victorian pile and it took ages. My dh did it for free. My MIL then said the Uncle would give us his washing machine. Whilst a bit pissed off, I thought it was better than nothing. I then rang the aunt to see when we could collect. She said she hadn't decided what she wanted for it yet! When it did arrive, it was a horrible, rusting old twin tub that leaked onto my kitchen floor.

I read my dh the riot act. Yet his dm continually sniped at me saying that was the way they did things in "their family".

A few weeks later, we had arranged to go away for the day and I was really looking forward to it, had booked day off work. His sister then came round and said he would need to work on her car on that particularl day. I just walked away. Needless to say he made the right choice, but I never heard the end of it.

When we got married, my MIL said she would buy us a hoover. She definitely said it because we were going to buy one and she told us to wait. When dh (who is kind and unassuming) mentioned it to her again, she went mad saying she would never offer to buy something so expensive. Felt really sorry for DH because he was upset and felt humiliated.

I eventually went no contact with them and believe me, I have never regretted it.

My in laws used to berate me for spending too much time studying and not enough time with my MIL. Apart from the fact she is the dullest, most judgemental person I have met (to name a few of her finest qualities), I was working full time whilst doing four years of distance learning to get a professional qualification. I barely had time to spend with my husband or my own family, let alone a woman who chose to live in the middle of nowhere, stop driving and do a job self employed from home that could be done in a company, therefore has no friends.

Fast forward to when I qualified, all of a sudden they're demanding I use my new profession to help them. The first time I tried to assist but when I told FIL that I couldn't help without seeing all the documents he was referring to (which DH had already told him) he hung up.

The second time was a Sunday when my DH was away. I'd gone out for a nice long walk with the dog, stopped into my local on the way home for a pint and to read my book. On getting home had multiple missed calls and messages on landmine and mobile (which thankfully I'd left at home) demanding I call them back immediately because they needed my professional assistance urgently. I called back and calmly told them what they needed my assistance on was not in my specialisation but I could recommend a few people but of course they'd have to pay for the service. Funnily enough they hung up and have never asked again.

I genuinely don't mind helping with the odd query from friends and family. But criticising me for working to get the qualification and then expecting to me drop everything when they need it is taking the piss. Also FIL is a spiteful little man and I have no doubt that had I got it wrong, he would have reported me to my professional body.

I was in early 20s and a friend and I decided to enroll in an evening class. She said she was short of cash and asked if I could pay and she'd pay me back. A week later she decided she didn't want to do the course after all. She said she would call the college and arrange a refund. Two weeks later I hadn't received anything so I called the college who said they had posted a cheque (this was 20 years ago) to friend and it had been banked that week.
I kept calling friend's mobile but she wouldn't answer. She was living at home with few expenses and I had just bought my first flat and had a mortgage and bills to pay and I needed the money back. Eventually I called her home number and her mum answered. She said friend couldn't come to the phone so I left a message spelling out exactly what had happened. Her mum was horrifed. I had a cheque through letter box the next morning.

I love reading these, chuckling along and thinking I don't have any, and then penny drops I used to be a right door mat and have quite a few🤣

When I was in my thirties and a single parent. My DS was 6ish, his best friend lived round the corner (let’s call him Billy) , often said friend would join us for days out and vice versus with his grandparents. His mum lived with her fabulous parents (lovely lovely people).

On the weekends I didn’t have have DS, I would sometimes go for a drink with friends in the local pub.. Billys mum was often down there, and sometimes Billy was also with her. It was a pretty rural place, and early evening it was common to see children and families. But the rule was no children after 9 or at a push 10.

One night I was called over to the bar, you need to take Billy home as it’s late, why aren’t you looking him? I was quite confused as didn’t really understand why I needed to take someone else’s child home.,, I dutifully took Billy home to his grandparents, thankfully it was literally a 2 minute walk. The mother was no where to be seen.

This happened a couple more times. The forth or fifth time it happened, (I know!!! I know!!!!)I asked the bar manager why is it assumed I’m looking after Billy, I’m out on a night out, no children and yes I know them - but what is going on, and where is his mother?

It turned out that the mother whenever she saw I was down there & she had her son - had told the bar staff I’d agreed to babysit so she could go off with her friends to a club.... I was horrified and quite mortified that they all thought I was babysitting whilst drinking and not looking after this 6 year old at all. I got quite cross, and told them I’d never been asked to babysit and who babysits down a pub ffs.

I told them that they needed to take Billy to his grandparents and I wasn’t getting involved. I did feel quite bad, as apparently there was a bit of a blow out at the front door, when the grandparents were told that their daughter had abandoned her child down the pub to go clubbing. It turned out she had form for doing this.

On a separate note it never happened again, I remained friends with the grandparents as there were awesome. But the mother barely spoke to me again as I had dropped her in it!! “No one likes a grass” were her exact words.. classy.

Bloody hell unicorns, sat here like at that!

@Unicornsareevil I'm agog. It's one thing being a CF about money, but that's serious child endangerment issue, I dread to think what could have happened.

A lady I knew....the boy from next door was always late coming out to catch the bus for scondry school.

If he missed the bus he would knock on next door and ask for a lift.
After a couple of times of giving the lad a lift the lady says why can;t your mum take you.....she said I had to knock at yours if she was still in bed.

@Unicornsareevil that’s so sad for the little boy thank god he lived with the GPs so hopefully was looked after well enough. So sad!

The grandparents were and are such lovely people. "Billy" still lives them, the mother elsewhere. Yes it is sad, but I suppose it was such a small rural community that everyone knew everyone else, and looked out for everyone else's children, but she took the proverbial.

When I was pregnant I lived on ice lollies and crackers as I was constantly sick and nauseous. I kept a few boxes in the freezer at work. I noticed there was a few missing and I asked the guys beside me if they had taken some (I wouldn’t have minded as we tended to share biscuits etc) they said no. I thought that I would be best putting a label on saying they were mine.

On the way to put the label on I saw a manager with two boxes of my ice lollies. Asked what he was doing “giving them to my team”. I actually snatched them out his hands and told them that he wasn’t; they were my ice lollies. The guys I sat with thought this was hilarious

I was told I was selfish to leave my DV relationship by a friend:

He lived on the outskirts of our village, and my STBXB (soon to be ex bastard) would run him into town to a store which sold cheap tobacco.

I'd confided in him. He asked me to wait until he'd found alternative transport!

A new very senior manager joined our team at work and junior managers were invited to a meeting to hear his “ vision”. Most of us had quite a journey so stayed over the night before the meeting .
We decided to go out for a meal and new manager joined us . He immediately grabbed the wine list and said he would select the wine as he considered himself an expert . He proceeded to choose wine which was much more expensive than the stuff we would normally order on a night out. We all thought he was treating us . He wasn’t. Bill arrived . He took it and divided it equally ! It ended up being much more expensive. He chucked in the exact amount ( no tip included ) picked up a bottle which still had about half of its contents left and departed.
The rest of us were stunned .

These are brilliant because they’re equal parts horrifying and entertaining

@Oldbutstillgotit what on earth was the working relationship between him & all of you like after that start???

What a dick!

@ GiantKitten the meeting next day wasn’t great ! Especially when he shoved a handful of Kitkats into his pocket .
He actually moved on to another (promoted) post a few months later so he became someone else’s problem .

A guy I work with told us a story about a wedding he was involved in.

He was asked to do a reading in the church, and to be a witness for them (he had introduced them to each other/set them up) He however wasn’t invited to the day, and only got an evening invite. So he drove quite a distance there, did his part at the ceremony, amused himself for 5 hours and then went to the evening do. Poor lad.

Promoted

I bet you were all glad to see the back of him!