Best CF Stories

[CupcakesAndCastles]

Lockdown sucks, what’s the best CF stories you’ve read?

One from when I was a kid, its such a vivid memory and the first time I can remember feeling stung.

In Primary School we went to an afterschools club once a week and every other month as a treat they would take us all to a soft play area. As an extra treat my mum always gave me a £1 to buy a drink and something to eat from the vending machines. My best friend never had much in general and would certainly never been given a £1 to spend so I always used mine to buy us both a tin of pop, this was back when a tin only cost 50p.

Anyway me treating her went on for years until one day I "lost" my £1 and she suddenly seemed to have one. The little bitch went and bought herself a tin of pop and a bar of chocolate so i'd to do without. I'd like to say I learnt my lesson there and then with her but she stayed in my life, causing drama and using me for at least another twenty years before it finally clicked she wasn't my friend and I cut her off.

Someone rang my doorbell without making an appointment to do so!!!! Bloody cheek eh? Their actions were of no benefit to me whatsoever

@FleecyMoo

I remembered another one, not about money but still pretty cheeky. I was at one of those soft play places with my niece and nephew, and saw a child (maybe 8 yrs old?) choking. I asked him to cough, slapped him on the back and the thing (a lolly with no stick) came whizzing out. Mum (I assume) comes over shouting "why are you hitting my son??" I realise it probably looked horrendous from where she was but thought once I explained he was choking it would be fine, but no - "well you didn't have to do it that hard!" I just rolled my eyes and moved away.

Their first trip out she tried to split the bill between 6 - 4 couples, me and another on their own.

Interesting how people like this think that couples count as one when it comes to splitting bills, but wouldn't dream of sharing one meal or one seat in a taxi between them because, oddly enough, they need enough for two people.

As for the wine, that isn't CF - which relies on exploiting people's good nature or awkwardness and pushing them to grudgingly 'accept' as much as the CF can get away with - it's just outright theft/burglary on the part of the person who hadn't had any agreement whatsoever. but still went ahead and unilaterally saw nothing wrong in just helping themselves, or presumed to tell somebody else you'd agreed that they could.

We had a neighbour steal our garden bin once. He's otherwise a genuinely nice chap, which made it even more bizarre. He must have grabbed our bin as soon as the bin men had emptied it, furtively kept it in his back garden or garage for a fortnight (one garden bin cycle) to fill and then, come bin day, sneaked over at 3am and left it, full, in front of our house, so that the bin men would empty his rubbish and leave it empty for us to take back for our future use. He wasn't as quiet as he thought, as he woke us up and we saw clearly that it was him. It was annoying (as well as being woken), as we would have had some of our own garden waste that we'd had to leave unmown and unpruned with nowhere to dispose of it - and we have to pay extra to have a garden waste bin - but ironically, if he'd just asked us if we had any extra capacity, we would have gladly let him have the remaining 80% and, jumping in the bin if necessary, easily have fitted all of his excess in as well, as he's always (apart from then) such a nice neighbour.

Instead of challenging him and then letting it blow over straightaway, we made a point of painting our house number massive on all three of our bins. We don't bear him any ill will at all - just find it amusing, really - but there's now that clear little reminder to him of his naughty deed every single week

@TheMotherOfAllDilemmas
Did you have a garden? I'd have told them I was going to leave all the boxes outside.

@sueelleker I’m sure they wouldn’t have done anything about apart of portraying themselves as victims as they did. Actually, I’m sure they did that, otherwise I cannot imagine how they managed to get other people to come and collect some of the boxes.

I was in a friendship group with about 8 others at university. One person started a tradition that we all chip in £10 for each person's birthday so that they would get something decent rather than little presents. Fine, I agreed.

Chipped in for the first gift. And the second gift.

My birthday came around and I didn't get any gift. I brushed it off, maybe they didn't have time to get me anything, maybe it was coming later, who knows.

Anyway, 10 days after my birthday I was asked by the organiser again to chip in for the next person's birthday £10?

I said no straight away. I was very honest, I chipped in for two other gifts, and didn't get anything for my birthday, now I'm expected to continue contributing? No thank you CF!

They continued being my friend but they never asked me again.

@Dontjumptoconclusions I've had that before. I was always expected to chip in and help organise the friendship group's birthdays but come my birthday? Nothing. Silence.

Just a tumbleweed rolling in the wind.

Hey notime thanks for sharing your story, absolutely brilliant 😊it sounds like you slipped into the twilight zone rather than falling victim to parisians. I can understand if the guy was pompous but surely him being parisian had nothing to do with it.

My dh is parisian and is the gentlest most generous creature I've ever met. He also wears a three piece suit to weddings. 🤷‍♀️

I can't imagine why there was an issue with your dress, it sounds so weird. I think i would have come right out and asked.

Dontjump. They did know it was your birthday right? Xx

Quite a long while back the place where I worked had a voluntary find for buying flowers/ wreaths/ suitable gift for births/ marriages/ retirement/leaving presents/ severe illness /major operations /deaths. you paid in at the beginning of the year - I think 5 pounds, but can't remember. Any excess was carried over. A really bad or really good year might result in a bit less per present towards the end, but there were about 100 people so most years were pretty even. We had a married couple who always paid separate amounts. Two colleagues who it turns out were having an affair despite both being married to others had decided to ditch their respective other halves and announce their relationship just before the date of the next year's contribution and then said they would only be making one contribution because they now were a couple. They then refuse to pay at all, which was fine, but got miffed when they didn't get a present a couple of years later. (She'd got a nice baby present a some months prior to this.)

@rainbowbabydreams they definitely knew it was my birthday, they were invited to my party!

Dontjump, yeouch! That's definitely a 'have a couple of glasses of wine and tell them you're sick sick sick of their shit, and when you're not sick, you're tired' moment.

And what did the organiser say when you explained why your tenners had suddenly dried up dontjump?? Any remorse??

@Dontjumptoconclusions I had the exact same situation! Group of five of us who agreed to chip in £20 each for birthdays to get a spa voucher or similar. We did the first three, then when it came round to mine (30th birthday, and the only "milestone" one), not a bean! It was the fifth girl's (also 30th) birthday a month later, and a couple of weeks after my birthday the WhatsApp group requests started coming for the money for her present. I look back and grimace at the whole nonsense now, but at the time I was absolutely gutted.

I've had to name change for this but my MIL is a massive CF.

My now DH and I told family and friends we were engaged but didn't "announce" it until a week later, by that time MIL & Partner has got engaged and announced it..... they booked their wedding for 2 weeks before ours.

I had a white gold engagement ring, simple and small diamond, absolutely perfect for me.

We were at a family BBQ about 6 months before the "weddings" and somebody asked what MIL'a ring looked like (she was having it re-sized) she grabbed my hand and said "like this but hers is white gold and mine is platinum and I've got a bigger diamond".

My family wanted to kill her for stealing the limelight 😂 to be fair, I did and still do think she's a CF but I'm not an attention seeker like her so I have the last laugh.

She also didn't get us Christmas presents that year as we had had a wedding gift (our wedding was in July and they bought us a £25 vase from our next wedding gift list).

They also live in a council house but own a house locally and rent it out which covers their council rent and the mortgage and tell anybody that'll listen that she's "skint", I could go on.....

Oh Gawd, I can't read threads like this.
I've read as far as page 1 and my jaw dropped by about the second post with the cheeky fucker selling the laptop lol.
I'll have bubbling blood by the end of all 19 pages!

Not sure about the veracity of the Mexican House Thief, nah not convinced.

But it was a great story just the same, and if it was real then the owners needed to up their game big time.

Anyway most of the CF stuff seems to revolve around the price of cocktails and other alcohol and fancy meal orders where other bill splitters do not drink and just have what they can afford/like.

Quite right too if bill splitting. My group would never expect non drinkers to pony up for the cocktail lot. They know it too.

It is not that easy to target the stingyers, but once done with a deep breath and THAT voice, it usually works. Otherwise in the bin with you!

So DH has a older cousin who is a lifelong CF of the highest order. One such occasion had DH in such a rage I think their relationship damaged irrecoverably as the piss take just tipped over the edge.

CF thinks he’s a flash git with designer clothes and motor and constant stories of were he’s been etc. A very empty vessel so to speak. He’s about 7 or 8 years older than DH and used to bully him when they were young.

DH finally gets the white German car he’s wanted for years after estates and hatchbacks. Leather seats, alloy wheels etc, his pride and joy. DH is a professional person and also less than assertive in that he’ll help people but a bit timid when saying no to CFs who can see him a mile off.

CF throws a party for family - cousins, nephews, nieces the whole shebang. My BIL gave DH a private plate for his milestone birthday and even then he just about put it on as he didn’t want to draw attention. Party day arrives and we rock up in new car and the car park is almost full with CF family themselves with many fancy expensive cars.

Party ends and people are dispersing home we’re making our way back when CF taps DH on shoulder (realising which car was his) and says ‘look we’ve got to take some boxes of empty bottles back with us as the owner is being really awkward and won’t dispose of them....can we fill your boot and you drop them at the bottle bank (drove 50 miles to venue). It later transpired that the empty bottles were the ones he sneaked in to prevent the higher corkage charge.

DH said You have 2 brothers, your father, uncle and 3 nephews all with cars and you ask me???? Sorry our boot is full with luggage and DH turned on his heel.

@Henrietta75 sounds like you just don't like him because he can afford nice things and travels. He asked a small favour of your DH after throwing a party for everyone?

Nottherealslimshady

Nah. Ain’t got a problem with anyone that has nice things - it’s the whole look what I have / done shoved in your face constantly.
As for the small favour - what was wrong with his own family to use their cars for rubbish? I wouldn’t dream of palming this off on a relative !!!

I am absolutely cringing thinking about how many times I may have been naively and unintentionally a CF in my younger years as I thoughtlessly and unquestioningly perpetuated "the way things were done" like splitting bills and rounds without thinking about any potential impact and inequality although in my defence, when something is pointed out to me I am quick to re-evaluate and now I actively look out for it.

Minor compared to a lot of these but a CF tale that still irks a bit as at best thoughtless...

Friend with similar age toddler. I had just had delivered both a set of reins and a little toddler back pack with a long lead handle and had both with me as yet unused in a trip out together. Her toddler was being 'spiritedly adventurous' so I offered a try of either which was gratefully accepted and back pack tried which she felt suited them well and thought she would order one. I said it was fine to keep hold of the brand new one as she was planning another trip in the next few days.

The now dirty and broken one (to the point it was unusable) was returned to me a week or so later when she had received delivery of her brand new order of exactly the same item borrowed brand new

Mexican holiday reminds me of some relatives.

My parents owned a condominium in Hawaii. They had agreed to let my father's sister and her family stay there once. Family made keys, and used it as a base for years without asking.

The condominium was in a compound where there are a lot of rentals, so my parents assumed the rental office was leasing it out without permission. Parents were 4,000 miles away, so couldn't prove anything. They only guessed about the leasing thanks to outrageous utility bills. This went on for, probably, 15 years.

My cousin bought a condominium in Palm Springs, and said my parents could use it and his car there, any time they wished, as he always felt badly about their family use of the Hawaii condominium. Of course, by this time, my parents were pushing 80, so there will be no use by them.

When my sister married, aunt, uncle, and cousins came to the wedding. My parents' home was filled with other guests, so they had to stay at a hotel. Cheapa@@ uncle presented the hotel bill to my father to pay. My father was beyond arguing, and just paid it.

Cheapa@@ uncle (father's sister predeceased him by several years) died recently, leaving an estate worth about $20 million. My parents are comfortable, but nowhere near that amount. Their biggest asset is their house.

@Henrietta75 I don’t think that was being a a CF, it really was a small favour to ask. It sounds like you are just jealous of this man.