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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Best CF Stories

999 replies

CupcakesAndCastles · 11/05/2020 13:46

Lockdown sucks, what’s the best CF stories you’ve read?

OP posts:
GeraltOfRivia · 19/05/2020 18:04

I remember your thread @old. I'm
Glad C has you guys in her corner if and when she's ready to escape.

CrazyTimesAreOccurring · 19/05/2020 18:08

Ah thanks for the update @Oldbutstillgotit
She is lucky with you 3 as friends

MaggieFS · 19/05/2020 18:31

I read that thread at the time absolutely agog @Oldbutstillgotit . Sorry for what C has been going through but it's good of you to support her.

Henrietta75 · 19/05/2020 23:04

When I was 20 I started my first full time job working as an Accounts office junior. My manager was friendly enough and obviously on a far higher salary and lived with her OH who worked too.
Few months in I am living with my parents and I am scrimping so I can finally move out on my own. My mum made me cheese sandwiches for lunch and I caught the bus to and from work. One day we’re chatting and my manager asks if my mum can make her a sandwich. Strange I thought it was plain white bread with a sprinkle of cheese - hardly M&S.
She said thank you day 1 then day 2 asks where her sandwich was. I was a bit taken aback so said here (gave her mine) so went hungry that afternoon. Day 3 after a ticking off from my mum, same thing have you got my sandwich, I said no we’re out of cheese so I am going to the shop.....oh get me a tuna salad, crisps and coke.....sure do you have the money as I only have £2 for my own....her sandwich was crap....ha...and then rang her OH to say let’s go for dinner at fancy restaurant in town....! Plus she drove a convertible and complained that hairdressing prices were going up etc etc.

Henrietta75 · 19/05/2020 23:17

2nd one - invited to DH boss’s 3rd marriage wedding (he must have liked wedding cake!) and paid towards £200 for travel, present and 1 night stay. We turn up at the event with probably 7 or 8 other DH colleagues with the rest about 30 of his family. After paying for our own drinks (he’s a millionaire) we mingle and the groom announces the buffet has now opened and “Family first”. Bride squirms as she’s from a bit more refined background. This was my first taste of this kind of ‘hospitality’.
One of DH colleagues says fuck that I’m starving and flounces straight across to the buffet. The rest of us look around and see hardly anyone has moved because they’re mostly bladdered so we moved to the buffet at once.

Likethebattle · 20/05/2020 01:46

I just remember a cf waiter. Went out with ex and paid the bill but the server never showed up with the change. It was just a few quid so we left to get the train deciding to just leave it as a tip.

The next time I paid ,same waiter,and was due over £11 back. I eventually got his attention as he had effected the ‘harassed and busy’ look. I asked where my change was and he said ‘it’s customary to leave a tip!’. I was livid and told him to get his manager and my change. I decide who and how much i tip, it’s not up to him. I told the manager that this wasn’t the first time my change had just been pocketed and this waiter was effectively stealing. I got all my money back as the manager refunded our meals and drinks As a goodwill gesture.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 20/05/2020 03:34

I met with a friend for lunch and one of her friends came to join us just as were about to finish. In fact we had already paid but this friend, let’s call her Thief, rang to say she was joining us after we paid so we order a coffee while we waited. I had meet the Thief before, but only at 2 events since I did 10 years before, last one a month before when she spent the night behaving as a cheap tart and saying I was a good girl and that she was scaring me. She didn’t scare me but I found her conversation about using men for free dinners or the descriptions of her sex life very tasteless to the point of being offensive.

Anyhow, she shows up at the restaurant when we are about to finish our coffees. She apologises for being late an orders a starter, a main, a desert, a glass of wine and a coffee, we continued talking while she had all that, then she says “oh is getting late as I have date tonight, shall we split the bill? We said we already paid so she pays her bill and ask us if we want to join her for a bit of shopping as she had a voucher from x store. So we said we would go as I also wanted to go to the shop.

We arrive to the shop, she finds something she likes but asks me if I would agree to pay our stuff together as the voucher is only valid if you spend more than £20. I said that is ok, we get to the cashier, the things are charged together and then she says she cannot find the voucher on her phone. I have an account in the store so I go into my emails to see if I could find it, she then accuses me of trying to use “her” voucher to save mine. So I tell her It is ok to cancel the purchase and I will pay my stuff separately.

She then changes from nasty bitch to sweet little panda personality, apologises and says she has just found the voucher. Then she asks if I can pay with my card as she doesn’t want to add too much money to hers. I said to her I have enough cash to pay her straight away, she says that she would prefer to give me her cash instead, as the queue is getting longer and longer I agree.

We come out of the store and she says “I’ll pay you another day” I said that is not what we agreed (after all I have only seen her three times in 10 years). She then accuses me of trying to take advantage of her voucher and demands to pay less than the price of her item as she wanted the £3 discount I got on mine.

I normally wouldn’t be minding a £20 expense but I have dealt with plenty CFs in my life to entertain this. All this conversation is taking place out of the earshot of my other friend, but when she approaches, she turns again into sweet little panda personality and says she would pay at another time as she doesn’t have the cash.

I remind her there is a cash point a few steps from where we are, she looks at the other friend and with a lot of fake surprise says “we don’t behave like this towards friends”. Fine, she is not my friend, so I ask her again about walking to the cash point to get the money. She then decides that probably it is a good idea to get a coffee from Costa before we go. I’m already finding the situation quite funny so I agree (but pay for my coffee separately just in case) my friend... totally oblivious to what is going on.

We sit for the coffee and she starts telling us all these stories of CF who have left her to pay the bill (probably after she tried to sponge them off and failed)I look at my watch convinced she is waiting for the time to be close to school pick up time so we need to leave in a hurry, and yes at 3 sharp she exclaims “oh my god, is 3 already! You are getting late to pick up your kids!!!” We both reply they take the bus since they started secondary school.

She says she needs to leave as she is getting late to get ready for her “date“. But asks for my bank account number so she can pay by bank transfer, I give her the number and wait for her to do the transfer on her phone, but she then says she would prefer to do it from her computer at home, I said I would be happy if she does it on her phone straight away. She says she doesn’t consider her phone safe enough, so I remind her it is actually easier and much faster to walk to the cash point next door, so finally she agrees to walk of it acting as if she is being treated sooo unfairly and reluctantly she hands the money to me. I returned her the £3 pounds I got as a discount, she then gets in the higher horse saying that that is not necessary, I tell her that I don’t want to steal from her.

Anyhow, I was taken quite aback with the situation and talked to my friend after that, who confirmed that many in their group had been wondering if she was not paying her way as every time they were out with her the split of the bill didn’t seem correct. She also said she had not noticed that she had paid for her in three occasions and the thief had not yet paid her back.

I would really like to say I pity the woman, but I cannot bring my self to pity her, I feel utter disgust for her, you cannot get through life sponging people who are friendly to you.

Daisyhut · 20/05/2020 04:59

@TheMotherofAllDilemmas well done for being persistent. The woman sounds like a nightmare.

angelcakebananabrain · 20/05/2020 08:38

No actual stories to tell myself but can vaguely remember having a dream about a CF last night due to this thread!

Soubriquet · 20/05/2020 09:00

I love these. Please more!

Coronaaapetite · 20/05/2020 09:07

I gave my son's baby clothes to the most epic CF. Her and her husband are very well off. Her own baby had a £300 state of the art baby bouncer yet, when she was finished with the clothes, did she gift them on? Nope! In true CF she sold them on FB marketplace for £50. Lovely.

CrazyTimesAreOccurring · 20/05/2020 09:16

DD was invited to a wedding of a friend we had known all her life. Actually, the dad had asked her and a few others to help at the wedding and he would "see them right after".

DD being a lovely girl said yes. It ended up her and the others working in the kitchen for 14 hours, serving all the other guests, including her cousin who was mortified and helped out too in the end. Height of summer, they were told when the speeches on that "staff" were to stay in the kitchen and not listen!!!! All for show in front of the groom's family so the bride's family looked like they had money and employed people.

But yes, the dad "saw them right" - he gave them a box of 4 Lindt chocolates, the kind you get in the pound shop.

DD just laughed the whole thing off bless her. Ive still not forgiven the bride as she was DD's friend (kind of ) and knew what stunt her dad was pulling.

TrickyD · 20/05/2020 09:33

When we were much younger we were part of a group of friends who formed a babysitting circle. It worked very well, everyone played fair with sitting and being sat for.
One couple were notoriously stingy and others were reluctant to sit for them as the heating went off at 10pm and sitters were not allowed to interfere with the settings.

The CF couple moved to a nearby town and complained when we all met up that new acquaintances always served very good wine at dinner parties. They were unwilling to pay for a decent bottle so took nothing. Bubble over everyone’s head “For God’s sake at least cough up a tenner’s worth” .

Eventually six of us were invited to supper at their new house. Taking decent wine Grin, we were treated to the usual economical fare (they were well off).

At the end of the meal, we were offered a liqueur. Rather startled at this uncharacteristic lavishness, we all accepted.

Host produced a miniature bottle, the sort you get on planes, and shared it amongst the eight of us. One drop each.

Daisyhut · 20/05/2020 10:50

@TrickyD did anyone say anything? I think I would have been too stunned on seeing the tiny bottle.

TrickyD · 20/05/2020 11:04

@Daisyhut, we were taken aback, but not surprised and 30 years on we all still laugh about it when recalling their other CF foibles.

nzeire · 20/05/2020 11:52

My sister was invited to a hens party the brides bridesmaid was hosting... all asked to bring a bottle of champagne and a plate Of food to conTribute... sister arrived, champagne was swiped off all guests at the door, very swiftly put in a cupboard. They were served shit fizz for the evening. I thought it was hilarious. Posh bint too :)

Noshowlomo · 20/05/2020 12:19

@nzeire I would have taken that back out again and necked it myself it they’d done that!!

ChessieFL · 20/05/2020 12:44

When DD was little I sold her second hand baby stuff through Facebook. I sold something (can’t remember what now) and the next day the lady who bought it was advertising it for sale again. Fine, once it’s hers she can do what she likes. However, she was trying to sell it for three times the amount she paid me for it, and was lying about its history claiming it was only 2 months old and barely used (it wasn’t and I had been honest about its condition when I sold it). I commented ‘that looks very like the one you bought from me yesterday for X amount - if it is its 2 years old and has been well used’. The admins then banned her from the selling group.

It wasn’t the fact that she was selling it on that bothered me, it was the fact that she had massively inflated the price and was lying about its condition to justify the higher price.

highmarkingsnowbile · 20/05/2020 15:13

Well done, Mother! She is indeed a thief.

OVienna · 20/05/2020 17:16

TrickyD I don't think I would have been able to control my laughter.

We have well-off friends who shall we say, quirky, with food. To be fair, they are very generous with the wine - and nice wine - I think there are some people that can't do cooking in any sort of quantity. It's not like they eat well on their own and don't share with others, but the quantities are not what you would expect when someone says 'come for supper'. We've been served a bagel with cream cheese in that context and played hunt the sausage with Toad in the Hole. Eight people and five sausages. Challenging and hangry making. We started to plan around it.

CaptainButtock · 20/05/2020 17:31

I was free cycling a lovely mothercare cot-bed. We're not well off, so had previously tried to ebay it...but no luck.

Just needed it gone, so thought freecycle would be the way forward. I naively assumed it would go to someone who really needed it (single parent, young couple starting out, whatever)

Imagine my delight when a lady came to collect it in one of those massive black wanker-tank things, and laughed at me for having to dash off at 3pm to collect my kids as hers are at insert name of vair posh private school and didn't need collecting until 6pm!!! You poor thing etc...

Apparently she had got rid of all her baby things as they already had 4 kids, but had been caught out with number five!!!

Have spoken to a friend who said this is quite often the way with freecycle (grabby wealthy people) and much better to give straight to womens refuges.

I do that now....Hmm

Wolfgirrl · 20/05/2020 18:23

The Mexican House Thief omg Shock

Just read it out to DP and we just sat there with our mouths open for about ten minutes!

No words!

MaggieFS · 20/05/2020 18:26

@CaptainButtock I have a wealthy friend like that, but I don't particularly think of her as a CF. I think it's probably a big reason why she's wealthy! Never spends unless on holidays or critical!

CaptainButtock · 20/05/2020 18:36

@MaggieFS

Yep. 'The more you've got, the more you want' springs to mind! 🤷‍♀️

Wolfgirrl · 20/05/2020 19:02

Oooh I've got one! Quite tame compared to some of these though...

My dad and stepmum live abroad in a hot sunny country, they moved out there some years ago and sold up in the UK, so their home now is their primary and only residence.

My stepmum doesnt really have any friends, the only couple she socialises with her own age are distant relatives. I dont think my dad is keen on them but I think he tolerates them for my stepmum.

Since emigrating, this couple have been to visit them about five times a year for at least a week at a time (free holidays galore!). From what I've heard, they always suggest staying in for dinner so my dad and stepmum have to cook for them, supply all the wine etc (more fool them I know).

After a couple of years of this, and my dad and stepmum never getting an invite back to theirs in the UK or invited to anything, they phoned my dad to say they had bought a run down campervan to do up. They asked my dad if him and stepmum fancied taking it off somewhere and living in it for a few weeks so they would be able to holiday at their villa in peace 😳 my dad was not happy and refused, but they still have them over for holidays!

Another one is when my daughter was 6 weeks old, my BIL (lives other end of the UK) asked if we could throw a party for MIL's birthday. The idea would be that we would host him, his wife and their kids, we would pretend to invite the in laws round for a quiet visit and they would 'jump out' and be the surprise Hmm we would then have them all to stay for the night and do a meal apparently.

I really didnt want to do it as DD was so tiny and I was in newborn sleep-deprived hell but I agreed for some reason. I was planning on baptising DD around then anyway, so suggested we celebrate MIL's birthday on the Saturday as planned and then had the baptism on the Sunday afternoon to save them all having to travel back for it another time (BIL and family live abroad). I received a message saying they didnt have a baptism in mind and didnt want my daughter stealing all the attention from them my MIL.

I think the second one is a bit subjective but it felt really cheeky at the time.

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