Best CF Stories

[CupcakesAndCastles]

Lockdown sucks, what’s the best CF stories you’ve read?

@daisyhut: because she always reserved that seat so it must be her seat? She said she had JuJu on the seat to stop the plane from going down.

@jokie that made me seethe. How DARE she kick your seat every time she walked past. Who the hell did she think she was? I am glad her bag didn't reappear and I hope she also shit her pants on the way home too

@jokie sounds perfectly reasonable

Placemarking

I don't get how so many people have trouble dealing with the bill at a restaurant. When I go out with friends we just round up whatever we had to the next note and pool it. It usually results in a good tip. If it is too generous then there's a very British "no, after you" scenario as we try to return the surplus notes to each other. Those who had alcohol, starters etc. are always at pains to make sure that they've paid their way. It's easy.

It's probably easy for you because you're in a group of basically decent people.

I sometimes go out for dinner with a few different groups of people.

With some people, I can happily split the bill because we aren't piss takers.

A couple of other groups have at least one CF in them, who used to order expensive items for us to subsidise by splitting the bill. Once we wised up to these people, we instead began the nights by saying we would all pay for our own stuff, meaning no subsidy for the CFs.

@Daisyhut: it's been 2.5years and I still remember it like it was yesterday. It was trips like that, which made me move into a less travelling role.

we instead began the nights by saying we would all pay for our own stuff, meaning no subsidy for the CFs.
More fun to wait until the meal is finished and watch their faces!

Recently I was associated with a couple of CF's, it was the wife's birthday and I alongside my 2 BFs were invited along to a meal, there were about 15 other couples who we had never met at this restaurant. We all ordered our meals and with a soft drink mine added up to about £18, I had to leave early and paid independently leaving £25 with my friend, one by one the other couples left leaving their £ to cover their food. At the end of the evening after the bill arrived the money on the table was £300 short my friends were the only couple left and had already paid for their meal (£25 each like me). The CF tried to get them to split the bill £150 per couple for other CF who had walked out without paying!!
I have another 2 stories about this couple both as bad as this, so now they are ex friends.

DH has the CF king of a cousin who had been taking the piss out of that family his whole life... until I turned up!
A person who could not give a damn about anyone. Always late, was once late by an hour for Christmas dinner, didn't even apologise when he came in just laughed. We'd all waited and it meant I was late going to my family and didn't see everyone.
Expects lifts off us everytime we're at the same place, even if we're well out of ou way.
Never pays his way at meals, and always brings girlfriends who are just as CF. One never has cash on her, sometimes doesn't have her bank card either, the last time she was a meal with us, she took our cash plus tip to the waitress to pay and was paying her share on her card and came back with less than a quid change, she'd obviously realised that all the money we'd put in covered the whole bill so she had a free meal.

Me and him had a strained relationship from the start because I hadn't been "conditioned" and called him out on it. It got worse after I refused to allow him to invite his girlfriend to my birthday meal. She wasn't even speaking to him at the time because he'd complained to her that she wasn't giving him enough attention while mourning the recent loss of her dad. I was just trying to protect the poor girl. He told me "he wasn't happy and wasn't sure if he would be coming now because of how I'd treated him" I told him not to come either then. Even as we were ordering our meals MIL reminded me he still wasn't sure if he was coming, told her he isn't coming because it would be rude for him to turn up late.

It all came to a head when at our shared aunts birthday him and his new girlfriend were 40 mins late, sat at the end of the table and didn't speak to anyone. Went and sat at the bar for half an hour while we all waited for them so we could sing happy birthday, ordering expensive drinks on the table. We had a voucher to half the price of the meals, so when the bill we said we'd just split it as we'd all had about the same (not realising they'd been putting drinks on the tab) it was only after half the table had left I realised that even with the voucher I'd paid more than my original share. So we started looking over the bill CF and CG gf start kicking off about why are we still looking at the bill. We realise we'd all paid twice as much as we should have with the amount of drinks we'd bought them!
They were so mad at us they haven't been to a family event since or spoken to us. FIL wouldn't even go to his birthday he was so mad at him. Turned out MIL and aunt had both handed him money when he got there to pay for him.

The only thing they've come to since was the same aunts birthday, he wasnt going to but found out she was paying for everyone a sit down meal, she later changed it to a buffet because she was worried about protecting herself from being taken advantage of again (she was really upset about it).
He had three heaping plates of food. Then when the buffet got closed he complained he was starving still so the waitress brought him another plate out which he didn't eat but wrapped up to take home. Then took about 10 slices of birthday cake home with him too. So others couldn't have any.

He exists just to take, it's his purpose in life but I wont enable it.

It's been really good for FIL and I bonding because it's always driven him mad but no one backed him up!

My SIL and BIL are quite mild CFs compared to those on this thread so far.

A treat for us used to be to have a boxed curry on a Saturday. When MIL and FIL visited they had never eaten one before and they mentioned it to BIL and SIL. When we went to visit MIL and FIL, SIL rang up and suggested we get boxed curries and they would come round to join us all for dinner. They turned up just as the curries were being plated up and were out if the door home as soon as they had eaten.

A while later we were visiting again and DH offered to treat his parents and aunty and uncle to a pub meal. BIL and SIL heard about it and invited themselves along too as it would be the “only chance to get to see them”. After meal was finished and DH had paid for it SIL then calls DH mean for not inviting her grown up daughter and children along too!

Our old neighbours were generally ok but had a massive blind spot when it came to their huge, aggressive dog. He would always growl and pull at the lead at anything smaller than him but they professed that he was harmless and a big softie (think giant dangerous terrier). I was on my guard around him, especially after he tried to get at my nephew.

So one day he goes after my cat, he's going mad for some reason and managed to flip his head in a way that allowed him to get out of his collar- darts at the cat, bowls him over and tried to get at his neck. Luckily our boy had really sharp claws and managed to scratch to dog on his belly and he let go. At this point the neighbours drag the dog off and don't say a word. Our poor car is traumatised that he wouldn't let anyone near him for over a day and was panting (cats shouldn't pant, they only do this when injured or extremely stressed). He was a bit sore but checked out by the vet and all ok but we were very worried about him and looked everywhere after he ran off.

If you would believe it, next door actually came to complain that our cat had scratched up their dog and that they had to pay the vet to stitch him up. No word of apology, they wanted one from us!

I know a woman from antenatal class who invited us to her DS's 1st birthday party.
I don't know what went wrong, but there was one bottle of lemonade to share amongst about 25 adults - that was all there was to drink. We would have taken something if we'd have known!
Anyway, i grabbed a tap water. What really confused me is when we all sang happy birthday and the little boy blew out he candles, the cake was taken away. Then, weirdly a second cake came out and we had to sing again.
This cake also disappeared, nobody got a slice. I thought it would appear in a goody bag, but nope.

Years before, different lifetime, we were invited to a bbq. I took along a pack of chicken breast and handed it to the host when we arrived. She thanked me and put it away somewhere, then handed me a bowl of lentils and some unusual looking meat perched on top.

What's this? I enquired, as DH started to try to bite it.

Pig's ear, says the host.

DH spat it out, gagged, and i hid my bowl somewhere discreet, feeling very hungry and wondering where the chicken had gone.

My neighbour has not spoken to me since December, when I refused to go to her house to babysit her kids while she went xmas shopping and her husband stayed in bed with a hangover! I'd done lots of things before to help her out, she's one of those people who seems to have constant dramas and problems, but thought this request was a total piss take. The fact she hasn't spoken to me since proves to me that she is indeed a cheeky fucker!

@TinRoofRusty it wasn't an expectation to receive gifts just an observation as they were the only two who didn't. While we didn't cover flights for our guests we did cover several group meals/outings pre/post wedding, transport on the day (coach and boat) and all catering on the day (it was a full day). They were also young professionals so definitely not struggling to make ends meet.

Years ago I worked in an office in an industrial estate that’s a bit out the way. About a twenty minute walk from the town centre. The office had originally been in the town centre and when they’d moved to the ind est one of the women had been given taxis to and from work as a gwg because she didn’t drive and had previously been able to walk to work. This went on for quite a few years. Eventually the company were looking at ways to save money etc and decided to remove the taxi. she was all up in arms about how she wouldn’t have anyone to pick her up etc etc now the office was a half hour walk from her house maybe? So me being the kind hearted soul I am said I could drop her part way home to reduce her walk. All sorted. This went on for months, it was a ballache for me because meant I had to go a busier rd to be able to drop her off.

Then one day I dropped another girl off as well because her car was in the garage not a problem we always did stuff for each other and still friends now, but I dropped them off at the same time and the next day my friend told me that this woman’s husband was waiting in the car around the corner 😳 she told my friend he didn’t like coming to the ind est because it was a ballache to get out of and said not to tell me. Well obviously she did. Spoke to my manager and over the next few weeks i became less ‘available’ and then the opportunity to start/finish half an hour earlier came up so I took that and just said sorry I couldn’t drop off anymore. Well after that you’ll know the husband picked her up everyday!

This is also the same woman who we took out when she was leaving for a meal and gave her a lovely vase from Debenhams, flowers etc(she was retiring so we thought glasswear would be nice) the next day she’s in the office and the girl sitting behind her can see her searching the debenhams website to see how much it cost! 😱

@iamaMused I don’t think you know who the CF are in the story.

I cut contact with a friend after she showed her CF ways on holiday. A group of us went away for a week abroad and on the first night we went to a lovely restaurant for dinner.

Every time food was brought out, CF would eat half of it and complain - even though there was nothing wrong with it. She kicked up a real stink, told the waiter she wouldn’t be paying for any of it, asked to see the manager and ended up having her portion of the bill waived.

She then pulled this stunt every single time we went out to eat and she got more outlandish each time. On the third day we went to an expensive restaurant and CF lied and told the waiter that it was her birthday and could we have a bottle of something ‘on the house’ (which she got). She then ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, ate most of it then kicked off saying it was cold and she wouldn’t be paying for it. She demanded to speak to the manager and insisted we get 50% off the entire bill as our meals were subpar. It was so embarrassing that me and another friend in the group paid our share and walked out, leaving CF arguing with the staff.

For the entire week, CF tried to get a refund or money knocked off for every single thing, including complaining daily about the apartment even though there was nothing wrong with it.

Worst of all, one evening we were out at a bar and a group of sleazy looking men asked us if we wanted to go to a party with them. CF told them that we’d come if they paid us by the hour and she actually started negotiating with one of them I kicked off at this point and we ended up having an almighty row. I’ve never had an argument like it. Two of our other friends backed me and we ended up spending the rest of the week doing our own thing. Didn’t speak to CF again after that.

Not massive cheekyfuckery but annoyed me at the time probably more because I enabled it. Our previous NDN had two sweet little girls who often enjoyed playing with my DC's. She asked if I could babysit one evening so that her and her DH could go out for dinner with friends, sure I said. On the afternoon of, I asked what time the girls would be coming over and if I should give them dinner, she then informed me no, I should go over to her house to look after them. I was a bit putout that I would now be spending my Saturday evening on my own at her house but thought at least I can watch something on the telly once they go to bed. When I arrive the girls are finishing dinner and she's got a DVD all ready for them and they can stay up late as a special treat! So not only do I spend my evening away from my DH and DC's I now have to watch bloody Frozen! She never offered to have my DC's either. After they moved my Mum (who would sometimes stay with us while I was at work) confessed she'd often drop the kids over during the day saying she had a headache etc but she was blatantly using my mum's generosity. The CF had plenty of money too, she was a psychiatrist. I have more CF stories about that family....

There was an awesome holiday CFer thread on here. A group of 4 women booked a holiday house in Spain for an all-female holiday. Everyone behaving, paying up, there was 1 room with en-suite and so that person paid more. Then 1 of the group, C, said she needed that room as her husband was coming along! She tried to guilt the other 3 into accepting this, but they didn't. Come to find out, C's h had already bought airline tickets to go along and was at the golf club where 1 of the other women's husbands was a member bragging about his cut price holiday in Spain. The rest of the group stood firm and so C didn't go but her h tried to get them to pay for the cost of their tickets.

Hi @ highmarkingsnowmobile that was my thread ! You are almost right with the details ( well done!) but just to clarify ; my lovely friend Anne decided to treat me and another 2 friends , Barbara and Carol , ( obviously not real names) to a week in the sun . She insisted on paying for the villa and flights . Everything was great until Carol announced that she would like her DH to come too ! Anne kept saying no ( backed by Barbara and me) with Carol saying she couldn’t cope without her DH - Dick- for a week.
Anyway , after much stress , pleading etc we found out that Dick had actually booked his flight as soon as he had heard about the “ free” holiday!
Eventually Anne cancelled Carol’s flight and changed the villa booking .

I'd forgotten about that one.

Did anything happen after @Oldbutstillgotit? Are you all still friends?

@Oldbutstillgotit; have you heard anything from carol or dick since? Their behaviour towards Anne was despicable

After our fab holiday we didn’t hear much from Carol then a few months later she contacted Anne and apologised. She was really distressed about everything. Anne is lovely so invited all of us round for a drink and chat which was awkward at first but it dawned on A , B and me that C was being bullied by Dick . A few people suggested that on the original thread and it seems they were right . We are slowly getting the facts and it looks like C is being financially abused and the only way she could get away was for him to latch on too.
I won’t say any more but we are trying hard to support her.

Old, wow! I remember that thread. I am still really glad you all stood firm, despite feeling bad for Carole, a lot of people would have let Dick just ruin it for everyone and I'm so glad you didn't. It's a pity for Carole but hopefully she'll get away from him.