Best CF Stories

[CupcakesAndCastles]

Lockdown sucks, what’s the best CF stories you’ve read?

We were invited to dinner once by another family and were told it was going to be a simple affair. "Absolutely fine", we said, and also told them we would bring dessert. We were out for the day in the West End and picked up a very expensive selection of nice desserts before heading to dinner. When we got there, we were told, "sorry, we've been disorganised. No food in the house. We'll get fish & chips if that's ok with everyone". No problem. DH offered to go with the husband. At the takeaway, it turned out to be cash only. The husband said to DH, "sorry, I have no cash". DH gave him £40 (2 £20 notes) from his wallet. The husband paid and kept the change (about £7). DH didn't think much of it other than maybe he'll pay back £40 when they get back to theirs or they'll stop at a cash machine on the way back. Turns out they never repaid us the £40 for the food, so in the end, we ended up paying both for dinner and dessert! (No alcoholic drinks were consumed at theirs by the way, so it's not like they spent a lot on drinks.) What a great way to get a free dinner and not even have to go to other people's houses! LOL.

Bebelle9 why didn’t your DH pay directly? What was the point of handing someone the money to then hand to the cashier? Ok it would only have saved £7 but still. Secondly, how well did you know them? What intrigues me about these stories of CF friends is at what point friends become CF’ers?

@Saturdaysnotforexercise I would assume that lending someone two £20 notes would make it easier to be paid back by the borrower rather than expecting the borrower to give the exact amount due or messing about giving change.

Personally in this instance I would have mentioned going to a cash machine on the way back with the food making it clear that the money was to be repaid, or at least half even though I would be losing out on the desserts purchased.

Yes but the post said they’d gone to the shop together, so if they’re just standing together why didn’t he pay directly? And did the other bloke really hand the money over and then pocket the cash? Really? That’s beyond CF especially as he had no intention of repaying anything or making any contribution.

Agree, I would have countered with “neither have I, shall we find a cash machine” and then at most have paid half

This thread is less fun when other posters start laying into posters for not identifying CFery and then boasting about how assertively they’d have handled it...

I'm quite an assertive person but understand sometimes you're completely caught of gaurd by the CFs especially if they've given you no reason in thr past to think that they're about to pull a fast one on you.

I’m not laying into anyone and have indeed been caught out by CFs (being married to an abusive one for 18 years was the worst example, but that’s another story), just didn’t quite get how the brazen CF in the chippie pocketed the change or got to hand over the money in the first place

I’m just pointing out that this thread will die now and all the entertaining stories will stop because there’s people policing the behaviour of the victims of the CFers.

Whataboutery is CF behaviour IMO

I recently heard from a friend about mutual friend who had gone out in a group for a meal.
Mutual friends cf husband had eaten most of his main course when he complained bitterly that the meal was awful and the restaurant brought him a new main course.
C.f. then ate 2nd main course and declared
he had indigestion and was going for a walk. He didn't return.
When bill came cf wife had no money so rest of group paid the bill fully expecting cf to pay back in week.
Cf and his wife never paid their share.
Very bizarre behaviour.

@Saturdaysnotforexercise
Good point, I don't know why DH didn't just pay instead of handing money over. I wasn't with them. Maybe the other guy asked to borrow as he had already placed the order.
We are somewhat related with them, so often meet at family events.
Also, I think it might be because they think we are better off financially so they don't see anything wrong with us chipping in more than our fair share? DH thinks that's fine and very often offers to treat others, I get a bit annoyed at being taken advantage of and think more about the principle of fairness!

Agree with @Winterwoollies.

Bebelle9 how frustrating for you. I don’t mind shouting less off friends/relatives but it would really grate if it was presumed or expected. Trouble is I think if they get away with it once they assume a precedent has been set and that’s how it always will be. This happened to good friends of ours who don’t drink. Every time they went to a restaurant with CF couple (not us!) would order a murderously expensive wine and then expect the bill to be split. The victims felt too embarrassed to say anything which was unfortunate as other couple kept doing it. They wrote to the Times asking an ethics / etiquette column about it too, but I can’t remember the advice

I know you should say something at the time and it's easy to have the perfect response in retrospect. But it is just not easy for a lot of people.

Challenging them, especially in front of others, creates an atmosphere. It shouldn't and it completely the CFs fault but when you are faced with the choice of going along with it and keeping everyone happy or making the fuss to be treated fairly, it's sometimes easier to just keep quiet. Builds resentment but you're being manipulated and it's very effective and you shouldn't be shamed for just wanting to keep the peace.

Went for an Indian meal with 3 other couples a few years ago. One couple Ordered off the set menu but insisted on changing the options for other things on the menu that were the same price so it didn’t “make any difference”. The owner accommodated them. Everyone else just ordered from the normal menu as the set menu was a saving of £1 and was restrictive.
All of the couples had pretty much the same amount- starter main couple of glasses of wine and soft drinks for the drivers Apart from cf who had ordered cocktails and extra sides, so when the bill came dh suggested splitting the bill which was say £40 per couple. Cf gave £35 as they had ordered the set meal and weren’t subsidizing everyone else (declares very loudly and very rudely) Dh said oh no we don’t you to be out of pocket we’ll just pay our own whipped out his phone and started calculating, every other couples bill dropped to below £35 and cf bill was over £60. I have never been more proud of him

That's bloody fantastic @Rose789

@nottimeforanamechange

The wedding boat story is so much worse than the tidydancer threads!

Were you guests? Why was no one else dressed up? It’s such a weird story!

I agree the Wedding boat sounds horrendous. Meanwhile @Rose789’s DH is my new hero!

Just remembered one that happened about 10 years ago.

Went to make a coffee but was out of sugar, couldn't go to the shop as kids were in bed ill & dh wasn't due home from work for a few hours.

Put a jokey post up on fb about it and said if anyone near me wants to bring me some sugar i'll make them a cuppa, I wasn't serious, it was a joke, but 10 minutes later, a casual acquaintance who lived round the corner actually turned up on my doorstep with a bag of sugar for me 😂

I laughed and thanked her for bringing me the sugar and invited her in for a cuppa, and put out a plate of some posh biscuits that i had.

We had a good catch up on each others news and just before she left to pick her kid up from nursery, i again thanked her for actually bringing the sugar & told her how much I appreciated it.

She then turned round and said that seeing as she had done me this favour could i do her one too? Turns out she had met a man who she got on really well with and the two of them wanted to meet up & have sex, & she wanted me to be her alibi and to be able to pretend she was with me so that her dh wouldn't find out!

I flatly refused, she said i was being selfish as she had brought me the sugar!

shop is in the next street & she lives opposite it, so not like she had gone miles out of her way, plus she had to walk past my house on route her her dd nursery anyway!

I still flatly refused and she left and never spoke to me again

Rose please can you recreate the look on the guy's face and post it here when your DH said sixty quid??

@Rose789 your husband is fantastic!

Please keep this going. It's been a great read!

I'm a railway guard. I've seen hundreds of CFs (and a few outright scumbags too). One which sticks in mind is someone who boarded a train at station B, ignored me when I first asked to see a ticket and then asked for a return to station A. I pointed out that the train wasn't going to station A, the train had already been to station A. He launched into the most transparent performance of "oh my god I'm on the wrong train" I've every seen. Bear in mind that station B has only two platforms, westbound trains always leave from one, eastbound from the other. He had to pass through the correct platform to get to the wrong one. There are electronic signs on all platforms. So to board the wrong train here you'd have to be incredibly dim.

Never mind, I'll look for a train going the other way in a minute, let's sort out your return ticket from B to A. Card declined, no surprises there. He then starts going on about how he was supposed to pick up his son from his ex etc.

Obviously I'm not going to get a fare but I'm still a helpful person so I looked up the times and told him that if he changed at station C, there was a train back to station A within 10 minutes. Now he tells me that he can get his brother to meet him at station D. Can you smell a rat here reader? It's quite a pungent rat.

So I play along with his story "but what about your kid, surely you need to get to him soon or it'll be past his bedtime. You'd have to wait an hour at station D but if you change at station C it's only 10 minutes. Can't have him waiting past his bedtime."

We arrive at station C and I open the doors:
"Here you are, straight across the bridge to the other platform".
"But please I'm begging yah, I've got this court-ordered contact..."
"Exactly, you don't want to make him wait, the bridge is just over there"
"But please"
[calm, monotone voice] "Step off the train please"

Without a further word, he left.

It's amazing how many people think we were born yesterday.

"You've already seen my ticket"
"I'd like to see it again, please"
"Oh, I need to buy one"
"I thought you might"

I did a fair bit of travelling a few years ago for work and used to come across every type of CF in hotels/airports. A few of my favourites were:

• the CF trying to bypass the security line at Heathrow because they had an upper economy ticket (not even business class or priority boarding).
• the CF in the hotel in Berlin who demanded a new meal/drink because "the lighting wasn't advantageous for a business meeting"
• the CF who tried to push in line at check ins "because their daughter worked on the airline".

Perhaps the biggest one was the CF on the plane who tried to steal my seat and threw a tantrum when asked to move by the flight attendant. I was so jetlagged from travelling non stop for 24hrs and had serious morning sicknees, I didn't care where I sat and told this to the flight attendant as I just wanted to get into my seat and sleep.

This lady would not budge and was causing all sort of hysteria in the plane (which was relatively full) so there were very little other places to sit in my section. The flight attendant called her superior who gave the lady two options: move to her alloted seat or be removed from the plane. She moved eventually and huffed and puffed about complaining to head office etc.

Throughout the first 4hours of the flight she kept walking past, tutting and kicking my seat to wake me up. I was seething as I didn't get any sleep. I felt a teensy bit of karma when her bag didn't come through on the belt.

@jokie what was her possible reasoning for why she deserved your seat?