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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that some parents won't want to send kids back yet?

180 replies

Toomuchtrouble4me · 10/05/2020 23:45

I totally get that loads of parents want to get back to work and want to get their kids back to school - even though this pandemic is still raging.
We have a health compromised family with over-reactive immune systems and I don't fancy two of our chances if we get this virus.
I don't really see why were re-opening schools when nothing has changed, we may as well have kept them open all along.
It's not so much of an AIBU as a WWYD - I'm not sending mine back, unless something really drastic changes, before September when I'll re-assess.
Just wondering if i'm a lone voice? I know that lots of you will HAVE to send kids back because of your own jobs, but if you didn't have to, if you could keep them home until summer holidays start - would you do it? Should parents who are too scared to send kids back be fined for non-attendance?

OP posts:
TheHarryFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 10/05/2020 23:47

I’m not sending mine back until at least September. Longer if the situation isn’t safe then.

Oysterbabe · 10/05/2020 23:50

You're not a lone voice. There's already a fast growing petition.

Goggle1968 · 10/05/2020 23:52

I’m undecided. I have a reception child and a y4 child so based on tonight, my youngest will possibly be able to go back. I’m really torn as it will be good for her but I’m not sure I’m comfortable with it. They could both stay with me. I am a childminder but am currently closed. I’m waiting for more information before I decide if I should send her in and if I should reopen the business or hold off until sept. It may be that one of the criteria for sending kids in is only if they can’t stay with you due to work purposes which would rule my children out. There’s too many variables to make an informed decision atm but my gut wants to keep them with me at home.

Notenoughchocolateomg · 10/05/2020 23:53

My youngest can go back as he's year 1. I'm not sending him. No way. I'm a sahm so no issue there.

2020hello · 10/05/2020 23:53

When would you send them back though? If it's for a vaccine that could be the beginning of next year! What would have to change for you to send them back?

VideographybyLouBloom · 10/05/2020 23:59

I’m really confused about why so many posters think that September is going to be the month where CV has magically disappeared or no longer poses a threat? Unless there is a vaccine by September (basically impossible) then nothing will have changed; the virus will still be around, you still might catch it and some people will still, unfortunately, die from it.
If anything September - the beginning of cold and flu season will be worse.

Original poster
Toomuchtrouble4me · 11/05/2020 00:03

Ok - I'm pleased that it's not just me!
What would need to change? A vaccine or a very, very low infection rate.
I've already decided that they won't go back before September, then I'll see how things are.

OP posts:
Christmassaussage · 11/05/2020 00:07

I don't want to send mine back until September. I think the government is placing too much responsibility on the public. We'll have a second wave by September if the government isn't very careful with their messaging.

derxa111 · 11/05/2020 00:10

I predict lots won't, plus many people know they can continue wfh. I would consider it. One question I have is what happens if there is a confirmed case does the school close for a deep clean?

namechangetheworld · 11/05/2020 00:13

YANBU. My DD is four and in Reception and I certainly won't be letting her be used as a human guinea pig. Not a bloody chance will she be going to school in three weeks time.

NellMangel · 11/05/2020 00:14

I'll keep my reception child off for as long as I can work from home. Currently that looks like a few months.

  • I want to minimise the risk of either of us getting it for as long as possible.
  • I like his teacher and dont think she should be put through this anxiety.
  • I dont think he'd cope well in a classroom where they bang on about keeping away from each other and adults wear masks etc.
  • I dont expect my son to do something I wouldnt do myself.
  • I dont trust the government.
GlummyMcGlummerson · 11/05/2020 00:15

I’m really confused about why so many posters think that September is going to be the month where CV has magically disappeared or no longer poses a threat?

Me too.

If people wait for a vaccine they could be waiting years. I'll be sending mine back to school as soon as I possibly can

Pitaramus · 11/05/2020 00:19

I’m not sending my yr1 child back in June for a number of reasons. He is the middle child of three so I’d still have the others at home so he’d think it outrageously unfair and it would cause disharmony between him and his older sibling. The school run is a faff, particularly with resistance and I’m already massively pushed for time in the day - it would just be an extra job. He’s learning more at home than he does at school. He has all the social stuff here with his siblings anyway. He’s also my chief babysitter for my toddler so i need him for that when I’m trying to get jobs done.

I also don’t get the logic at all and unless I understand the logic I can’t make a decision to follow it. 4-6 year olds can’t socially distance and are mostly playing at school anyway! Also, most parents can teach them what they need to learn through play without worrying too much about formal school.

Pipandmum · 11/05/2020 00:20

I thought he would say Y10 and 12 and possibly Y6 go back first. They are old enough to understand social distancing and absolutely crucial not to miss any more schooling - the exams are already in jeopardy. My daughter has full day online learning but it's not the same and she's really keen to get back in the classroom. I'd be happy for her to go back in June, but she's old enough and responsible that she would adhere to strict social distancing and hygiene.

Original poster
Toomuchtrouble4me · 11/05/2020 00:22

I’m really confused about why so many posters think that September is going to be the month where CV has magically disappeared or no longer poses a threat?

I think we're looking at september as there's only half a term left if they go back in June so keep them off for half a term, off for summer holidays and then it's not a case of sending them back in September, it's just the start of the next term and so we'll re-assess then.
I'm hoping that by september the infection rate will be really low, testing will be adequate and maybe even a vaccine. Septemeber for me isn't the time to send them back but it's the start of the next term, so the time to re-evaluate and decide.

OP posts:
NellMangel · 11/05/2020 00:23

I feel like they'll know more about the virus, treatment approaches and prevention over time. So even if vaccine isn't around we will be better equipped to deal with it.

Fantasisa · 11/05/2020 00:25

Mine will be going back as soon as they are allowed. And I say this with a vulnerable DH at home but a vaccine may never come so I don't want to disrupt their lives further if they can return to school.

Sinuhe · 11/05/2020 00:29

I don't have a real choice. Either I send DC to school or I loose my job (& home ...), which would be devastating.
We are fit and healthy, so at least our odds are better than so many other people's with underlying health issues.

devuskums · 11/05/2020 00:34

I don't want to send my child back at the moment. I don't want my child to miss out but I want her safe. Safety wins over missing out on fun.

ISawATiger · 11/05/2020 00:37

Not alone OP. I don't want my reception child going back earlier than necessary, and would happily keep her home until a vaccine is available. Failing that (as I know that is probably a long time off) I'd like to wait until September. For posters asking why September is "magical", it's not that I suddenly think Coronavirus will have gone by then, I'm also trying to weigh up what is best for my child's mental/emotional development, during all this. I don't want to risk sending her back to school in June to then have to pull her out two weeks later with a cough, or if lockdown measures resume. I don't want to send her into school, not being able to explain fully what school life will be like (Social distancing, teachers in PPE etc), it just seems chaotic and if at all avoidable, I would rather not send her in. In September it'll be a fresh start, going into a new school year, and changes will be able to be explained and anticipated. Yes, hopefully the chances of Covid breakouts will be reduced by then, so less disruption for the class, and a more stable, predicable learning environment, like the one she's been used to. I'd like to find out if the government will enforce return to school on the dates they reopen, or whether it can be optional. I'm assuming they will say it's mandatory and issue fines, so will have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

ineedaholidaynow · 11/05/2020 00:41

I would hope the rate would be lower and we would know more about the virus and its implications by Setember.

PleasantVille · 11/05/2020 01:19

How have you missed that pretty much no parent on here is going to send their children back to school? Just about every thread on my active convos is saying the same thing, why would you think it's just you?

In the real world parents I actually know seem to be quite relaxed about schools opening, I think there's a recognition that life has to start to resume, it's unsustainable to carry on like this.

ineedaholidaynow · 11/05/2020 01:25

The unions may still have something to say about this.

Chiyo666 · 11/05/2020 01:25

This will be me.

AIBU to think that some parents won't want to send kids back yet?
Chiyo666 · 11/05/2020 01:27

.

AIBU to think that some parents won't want to send kids back yet?