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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think that some parents won't want to send kids back yet?

180 replies

Toomuchtrouble4me · 10/05/2020 23:45

I totally get that loads of parents want to get back to work and want to get their kids back to school - even though this pandemic is still raging.
We have a health compromised family with over-reactive immune systems and I don't fancy two of our chances if we get this virus.
I don't really see why were re-opening schools when nothing has changed, we may as well have kept them open all along.
It's not so much of an AIBU as a WWYD - I'm not sending mine back, unless something really drastic changes, before September when I'll re-assess.
Just wondering if i'm a lone voice? I know that lots of you will HAVE to send kids back because of your own jobs, but if you didn't have to, if you could keep them home until summer holidays start - would you do it? Should parents who are too scared to send kids back be fined for non-attendance?

OP posts:
Willyoujustbequiet · 11/05/2020 11:10

September. At the very earliest

Toomuchtrouble4me · 11/05/2020 11:26

I don't expect miracles by September but I do think that we'll have a clearer picture of how its all working.

OP posts:
Teateaandmoretea · 11/05/2020 11:28

I disagree. I think if the kids don’t go back at all till September then there will just end up being a spike at the same time as the flu season starts.

Justgorgeous · 11/05/2020 11:41

Most of my daughter’s class (R) are sending them back if the school opens on the 1st June. A lot can happen in 3 weeks, but am happy to have a date to work towards.

stuckindoors77 · 11/05/2020 12:42

I think going back in June/July is a safer scenario than going back in September. If schools go back and numbers rise massively straight away, well then we have the summer holiday (and a comparatively quieter time in the NHS) to get things back under control. If we wait until September and then discover it causes a massive rise, we're looking at another lockdown over the autumn and winter where everything will be so much more difficult and the NHS is under more pressure anyway.

Nursejackie1 · 11/05/2020 12:50

I understand those with vulnerable children or vulnerable people at home having concerns about their kids going back to school.

Otherwise I don’t understand why you would not send your kids.

Corona virus does not affect kids in the same way as the elderly or those with underlying conditions.

sundowners · 11/05/2020 13:05

Unless you have underlying health conditions putting you in the vulnerable group- why on earth would you not send your child back ASAP?

KatieB55 · 11/05/2020 13:25

People will have more confidence once antibody tests become available so you will know if you have had the virus (possibly asymptomatically or with mild symptoms). This hasn't been mentioned in the daily briefings for a while but I did read that a test by Roche was in testing at Porton Down.
Also Doctors are learning more about the virus and possible treatment options and I think three months will make a big difference in this area.

Lostmyshityear9 · 11/05/2020 13:32

Well, as a teacher who believes this is way too early to be safe, I would say it will be a positive if people refuse to send their children back.

However, my contrary side feels fuck it, if we're open and taking risks then either everyone sends their child in and everyone is at risk, or you de-register your child to homeschool and take the risk that the place will be there when you need it.

I can't process how it's OK for kids to be in school but all the science suggests that teachers will be sitting ducks.

Connie222 · 11/05/2020 13:32

I’m not sending my year one if schools go back in June as I’m pregnant, not due until August. I’ve got complications in this pregnancy and I’m going to be having a section so we are being ultra careful, we’ve all been in the house since lockdown so it would be madness to have Dd mixing and doing the school run. Consultant told me not to even consider it when I saw him last week.

I’ll see how things are in Sept but we’re in this for the of haul. I home schooled my eldest for years so it would be no hardship for me to carry that on - but obviously it would be a very different form as home education is very social and we wouldn’t have that.

I can see Dd being at home for year 2 as well to be honest.

Connie222 · 11/05/2020 13:34

But I’m aware I’m lucky that I’m a sahm now and Dh has a secure wfh job. It would be different otherwise.

Teateaandmoretea · 11/05/2020 13:38

I can't process how it's OK for kids to be in school but all the science suggests that teachers will be sitting ducks.

Maybe they are going to need to replace all the teachers with new, young graduates then? I predict that is what will happen if the unions don’t start offering solutions rather than just pointing out there is too much risk to teaching face to face while opposing remote delivery.

What do you want to happen? Education is important you can’t just stop educating all the children.

TurquoiseDress · 11/05/2020 13:42

It sounds like a very straightforward decision for your family- don't send the children to school- sounds like the correct decision for your DC

At this, point I don't think fines are appropriate

NewLevelsOfTiredness · 11/05/2020 13:47

My kids have been back nearly a month in Denmark. Yes, there's lots of guidelines and rules, but all the evidence seems to show that it simply hasn't let to an increased spread of the virus. That didn't mean much at first, but after a month it does. Obviously they're sent home at the sniff of a symptom but allowed back as soon as they're symptom free.

They just don't seem to spreading it (or suffering from it - we have a 9 year old, 5 year old and 1 year old - no kids in any of their schools/daycares have fallen ill.)

SueEllenMishke · 11/05/2020 13:48

The science is actually starting to say that children are a very, very, very low risk not only of contracting the virus but also transmitting it to others. This includes children with underlying health conditions.
There is an article in the British Medical Journal which is with a read and is publicly available.

My reception age DS will be returning to school when they open.

SueEllenMishke · 11/05/2020 13:49

*worth a read

TurquoiseDress · 11/05/2020 13:49

Just reading that there's a petition against the schools opening...really?!Shock

Going to have a search online for it

SporadicNamechange · 11/05/2020 13:55

We have been talking about this today, as I’m pregnant (due in July), DS is in Y6 and DSD is in Y1. We really don’t think they should go back until September.

The difficulty, however, is in dealing with our exes. Tbh, DS is here every single weekday morning except one Monday a fortnight. And I would just explain to the school why he’s staying off. I think my ex would be fine with it (not least because DS has pretty bad asthma), so long as he still gets the same contact with him (he was totally insistent about that right from the start).

DH’s ex is likely to be a totally different kettle of fish. She has plenty of form for being irresponsible about lockdown, and we know for a fact that she’s been having people round to the house (her boyfriend, who works in a care home, and her mother as a minimum). She’ll almost certainly want to send DSD to school to give her a break (she doesn’t work, so it’s not a childcare issue). And Y1 are riddled with viruses at the best of times, plus terrible at both hygiene (DH caught DSD licking the shower cubicle yesterday 😆) and unable to socially distance. And the school is in the worst affected area of England, which also isn’t great (and makes DH doing school runs undesirable too).

We have had to talk about what we’ll do if the schools are reopened and DSD is being sent to school. We can’t really see any options other than him not seeing his DC in person until after the baby is born (which would be terrible for him and the DSC and not something I’d want to impose) or the DSC staying with us all the time (with no school) for the next few months (which their mother wouldn’t agree to). It’s all a bit rock and hard place.

In any case, the announcement was that the school might-but-might-not start going back. I’m hoping for a not going back situation to save having to deal with any of this stuff.

Lostmyshityear9 · 11/05/2020 14:00

Maybe they are going to need to replace all the teachers with new, young graduates then?

Good luck with that! By all means, remove every experienced, older teacher from schools and see what happens to the quality of education then.

And plenty of us are teaching full time online with no opposition from the unions.

Lostmyshityear9 · 11/05/2020 14:02

The science is actually starting to say that children are a very, very, very low risk not only of contracting the virus but also transmitting it to others. This includes children with underlying health conditions.
There is an article in the British Medical Journal which is with a read and is publicly available

Erm....nope. Have a look at all the other articles which show quite the opposite.

SueEllenMishke · 11/05/2020 14:03

Erm....nope. Have a look at all the other articles which show quite the opposite.
Can you share these?

Parker231 · 11/05/2020 14:05

Many will have to go back to school as employers are going to start wanting their employees physically back in work.

Teateaandmoretea · 11/05/2020 14:16

Good luck with that! By all means, remove every experienced, older teacher from schools and see what happens to the quality of education then.

In the short term it wouldn’t be great. It would be cheaper though and some of them would be really good. And better than schools being inaccessible to lots of children till we have a vaccine.

And plenty of us are teaching full time online with no opposition from the unions.

And plenty aren’t, because of the unions.

We need a solution that the unions need to put pressure on the government to deliver rather than them just being destructive. Teachers and children alike are frankly being chucked under a bus

SueEllenMishke · 11/05/2020 14:17

It's not just that WFH with a 5 year old who needs homeschooling is becoming unsustainable.

babychange12 · 11/05/2020 14:33

@SueEllenMishke

Link

fullfact.org/health/children-transmitting-coronavirus/

The Royal College of Paediatricians and Child Health have issued a statementt_ to stress that the news reports “have incorrectly suggested that children cannot transmit COVID-19. This is not the RCPCH position, nor is it based on evidence.”