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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that some parents won't want to send kids back yet?

180 replies

Toomuchtrouble4me · 10/05/2020 23:45

I totally get that loads of parents want to get back to work and want to get their kids back to school - even though this pandemic is still raging.
We have a health compromised family with over-reactive immune systems and I don't fancy two of our chances if we get this virus.
I don't really see why were re-opening schools when nothing has changed, we may as well have kept them open all along.
It's not so much of an AIBU as a WWYD - I'm not sending mine back, unless something really drastic changes, before September when I'll re-assess.
Just wondering if i'm a lone voice? I know that lots of you will HAVE to send kids back because of your own jobs, but if you didn't have to, if you could keep them home until summer holidays start - would you do it? Should parents who are too scared to send kids back be fined for non-attendance?

OP posts:
Frariedeamin · 11/05/2020 08:47

I’m shocked how many people are able to keep their kids off. I won’t have a choice - when mine can go back my employer will expect me back at work!

foggybits · 11/05/2020 08:50

Everyone who is planning on keeping their children home - who are you expecting to help with home schooling?

I would send mine in, ideally all of them though. However I don't think it's particularly hard to let to let the YR & Y1s keep using the maths website, keep up their reading & print out some Twinkl activities.

x2boys · 11/05/2020 08:50

Not all children are low risk ,my son has severe autism and learning disabilities he also has an underlying chromosome deletion whilst generally healthy I have no idea how this might impact on his health.

MrSheenandMe · 11/05/2020 08:52

The petition is nonsense. You have long had the right to educate your child at home. (What people want is to be paid to stay at home - that is the problem I think. )

Bollss · 11/05/2020 08:56

Op I find your tone incredibly condescending towards people who are going to send their children to school. And for those who have been sending their children to school throughout.

MN is a place of great privilege and our family does not have that privilege we need two wages or at the very least one and a half. Without that we can't live.

So when nursery re opens I will have to go back to work (unless I'm made redundant in which case I'll be finding a new job as soon as I can)

Dp has been at work throughout.

Findingapath · 11/05/2020 08:57

What about the teachers? Schools were having to close before lockdown due to understaffing...staff off with symptoms or high risk so self isolating... the level of virus has grown exponentially since then! Nothing else has changed!! No PPE considerations, social distancing kids will be near impossible, and even if it’s acheived shared equipment/desks etc would provide a contamination source.
The only thing that has changed is increased ICU capacity, with the nightingales, almost as if the second wave is the governments plan.

Bollss · 11/05/2020 08:59

Do people not understand that yes of course cases will rise as things are released? The point Is we release at a level the NHS can cope with.

The only way to prevent a second peak is to stay locked down until we have a vaccine. Not a treatment but a vaccine.

That will be years. There would be no NHS by that point and half the population would be destitute. Great idea!

AllieAct · 11/05/2020 09:30

@ChipsAreLife If you read the blog post and the data rather than just the news article, you can see that there are huge caveats in the data (which they themselves identify).

I am an analyst and well versed in reading data and not just believing what I see on social media.

formerbabe · 11/05/2020 09:44

I want my dc back in school asap. Not for me but for them.

ChipsAreLife · 11/05/2020 09:49

@allieact that report aside. The data shows children have a very limited risk to the virus, unless you can show otherwise? Also in other countries schools have remained open in some states like Australia and the virus hasn't spread.

I agree the data will have gaps it's all very new but it's an encouraging start

Dg556f · 11/05/2020 09:54

Thanks @RaggieDolls I didn't know if I was being over sensitive but that's exactly how I felt.

PlanetMJ · 11/05/2020 10:01

I am keen to keep my r

Original poster
Toomuchtrouble4me · 11/05/2020 10:04

How have you missed that pretty much no parent on here is going to send their children back to school? Just about every thread on my active convos is saying the same thing, why would you think it's just you?

I don't spend much time on here and haven't read loads of threads, just one or two where the concensus was to get them in to school ASAP.

OP posts:
olivehater · 11/05/2020 10:04

Findingapath why are teachers so special that they can’t possibly go to work without full protection and complete social distancing? Nursery staff have carried on with key Workers children not socially distancing. I am frontline nhs and I have carried on throughout without any PPE. I can’t socially distance from my patients. I will carry on staying away from my elderly mother and get on with it. I have had colleagues about to retire delay their retirement in order to carry on working because they are dedicated. Supermarket staff have carried on keeping us stocked with food etc without anything.
I do not see that teachers are some sort of special case and if they think they are they will get no public support.

PlanetMJ · 11/05/2020 10:08

I am keen to keep my reception aged dd home until restrictions lift enough for us to make the 2.5 hour drive to visit my parents. At the moment, we have been isolated enough as a household for me to be quite confident that our risk of transmitting the virus to them is minimal. Although certainly not completely without risk, I feel a visit soon would do their mental health the world of good and I could also use it as a carrot to encourage them to maintain their own lockdown. They are getting really upset at not seeing us.

Once dd is back at school I don't think I could justify the risk to them. We could then isolate over the summer for 2 weeks and then see them again and the same during the next holidays until there is a vaccine.

Duckchick · 11/05/2020 10:15

I won't be sending my reception age child back immediately, if I had one in year 6 I might think differently. He is learning more at home than at school and while he would like to meet friends occasionally is otherwise happy at home. I think the first few weeks is likely to be very unsettling as they try and work out how to manage some form of social distancing e.g. around pick up and drop off - which he would find very difficult. If after 3 weeks or so cases haven't risen and school can clearly explain how they are managing so I can explain it to him before he goes in - then we'll review and possibly reconsider.

angstridden2 · 11/05/2020 10:25

I am nervousvof my gc returning to nursery but am aware that if their parents’ employers insist they return to the office they will have to go or have no job and therefore no income. Wfh ft and trying to look after two toddlers is also not sustainable for a long period, both for the parents and for the children, the elder of whom is desperate to interact with his friends.

Most people will be in this situation, unless you can manage on one salary you will have to go back when asked if you want to keep your job. I’m an ex teacher and usually totally for teachers’ views, but it would seem from mn(and from friends who still teach) that many schools are not stepping up to the mark to help parents educate children at a distance, and are having a break on full pay knowing their jobs will be safe when they do return (caveat..not all teachers). I am disappointed that the teaching unions and many of their members seem to have a ‘can’t be done’ mentality.

Original poster
Toomuchtrouble4me · 11/05/2020 10:42

Op I find your tone incredibly condescending towards people who are going to send their children to school. And for those who have been sending their children to school throughout

Well then I think you need to read my post again, as I have, because I do not agree at all that it's condescending - my post: " I know that lots of you will HAVE to send kids back because of your own jobs, but if you didn't have to, if you could keep them home until summer holidays start - would you do it? Should parents who are too scared to send kids back be fined for non-attendance?"

That is in no way condescending.

OP posts:
Bollss · 11/05/2020 10:46

it was the first bit i found condescending, claiming you "totally get it" even though a pandemic is still raging....

yeah, course you do.

Original poster
Toomuchtrouble4me · 11/05/2020 10:50

MojoMoon
Those who are keeping kids off: will you also be maintaining all other social distancing measures until sept? Ie no playgrounds, play dates, family visits or group activities?

Everyone who is planning on keeping their children home - who are you expecting to help with home schooling? The teachers won't have the time to prepare any work as they will be teaching. Will you be harassing them to set work? I hope you are all going to planning to set your own work

Social distancing - yes, we won't be socialising although I may visit my friend who is also isolating with her two kids and we'll let them play together in the garden.
Home schooling - I'm an ex teacher and have no worries about home schooling for another half term, will see how things are in September.
Yes I do expect the school to keep my kids place until the end of the summer term, they will keep our place, they know our situation re health. If we didn't go back in September then I wouldn't expect a place to be held.

OP posts:
Chillipeanuts · 11/05/2020 10:53

No, not just you. With asthma, ours will be at home for as long as possible. There might not be a vaccine for a long time but hopefully infection rates will fall eventually.

crosspelican · 11/05/2020 11:03

I don’t want to send my Y6 back in June because I have Y4 at home too and we’ve hit a nice balance in our day. They benefit from each other’s company & it would be harder on my Y4 to have to learn on her own without the banter of her sister to brighten things. Yes, squabbling too, of course, but working with 2 is better than 1.

Original poster
Toomuchtrouble4me · 11/05/2020 11:05

it was the first bit i found condescending, claiming you "totally get it" even though a pandemic is still raging...

yeah, course you do

Erm, yes I do totally get it. Still not seeing anything condescending - we can all take snippets and missinterpret them, nothing condescending in that post. My DH and my adult son have worked throughout. We are living apart for this reason. So yes, I get it.

OP posts:
Teateaandmoretea · 11/05/2020 11:08

Yes my year 6 will be going back. She has already started counting the days.

I’m really baffled by the logic of the September brigade. Sending all the kids back together seems like a recipe for disaster to me. I also don’t agree with the ‘its only x weeks’ mindset. Every day children cannot go to school is a really serious thing.

Crunchymum · 11/05/2020 11:09

As much as I think my reception age child would benefit from going back, I won't be sending her.

We have a vulnerable toddler (and I too fall into the vulnerable category due to medication I take to suppress my immune system)

I can't see what is going to change come September though.