AIBU - living in England completely insufferable?

[hellosunshine5]

As per the title really, I loved living here for a few years but I now just find the whole country completely insufferable.

Does anyone else feel the same?

For what it’s worth, I’m English and was born here to English parents who then emigrated to NZ when I was 8. Lived over there until I returned to England when I was 20 to get to know my extended family and have an adventure etc. I ended up meeting someone and settling - South East for reference.

Fast forward 7 years and I am really struggling to tolerate life here any longer. I’m making plans to leave, but they’re obviously on hold for the foreseeable.

My reasons?

• I work hard in a fairly well paid job that I commute to in London, but I can still only reasonably afford to live in a tiny one bedroom apartment with no outside space. I see my friends from back home in similar financial situations buying 4 bedroom new build family homes with massive gardens.

• England is over crowded. I find it unbearable to have to circle my local supermarket car park multiple times (whatever time of the day) to find a space. Such simple things in life shouldn’t be so difficult.

• I hate the competitiveness of life over here. Everyone trying to have the newest car, the best holidays, the nicest house, the best schools for their kids, even if they can’t actually afford it. I think people elsewhere in the world are much more humble and happy with their lot.

So, AIBU? Are you genuinely happy living here? Appreciate it’s a difficult question for those that have never lived elsewhere.

I think there’s a few places around the world that might have been grateful if Britain had stayed exactly where it was instead of colonising the world

@MehMehMeow

Hmmmm..... not sure what that’s got to do with the price of chickens though? That was a long time ago and we can’t be held responsible for the actions of our ancestors?!

Historically there has always been empires. It was the way of the world back then. Survival of the fittest strongest I suppose back in the day. It certainly has no place in the modern world but we can’t be held accountable.

It’s a good job Britain did have the mite back during the war, or things could have been even worse.

Wow! I can't believe the poll.

I literally do not recognise the country you are talking about (I've lived in London and the countryside).

I loathe England. Had some great times here but the last few years have really done it for me. Brexit, and the attitudes it's unleased, are just beyond my comprehension. People vote for the Tories to fuck them over and then when - surprise surprise - they get fucked over, they blame it on immigrants. I'd be gone in a heatbeat if I could, but for various reasons I can't.

I think your last point is incorrect though. Competitiveness and materialism are global issues and not really any worse in England than elsewhere.

Contrary to other posters, I actually love London as at least it's got a sense of cosmopolitan openness and diversity. I find it like an oasis compared the rest of the country. Sadly can't afford to live there though.

I totally resonate with the competitiveness , ive.never felt the.need the ive.always been well off but never.flaunted it never felt.the.need, my children go to school at.a private school there is a lot of.that there , my husband won't go on the school run as its so bloody cringe. 😂... However we have.thought about moving.to either nz or Canada but would.miss my family.and freinds x

London is awful. Overpriced, grimy, overrated. Plenty of other much nicer places around however

Insufferable??

Don't blame you. The corona virus has made me see England in a different light. Never seen so much moaning, drama over clapping and whinging in my life.

Also the Uk is full of angry little bald men in white vans, the main offenders of road rage.

@MehMehMeow I found London much more welcoming - I think that being so transient, if you live there for a number of years you see people come and go and are still excited by new people. Few people have family close by so your friends become your urban family.

We live on the North Shore which I know is slightly different form other areas of Auckland, but most people we meet still socialize with the friends they went to school, even kindy with (and we are mid 40s) and they don't need any more friends (because everyone is so bloody busy ferrying kids around from one sports club to the next every bloody day and night of the week!).

And as for being materialistic - I have never experienced an area where people are so obsessed by their houses, their cars, their bach or their boat. Proper 'keeping up with the Jones''
It's not like that in sunny Tooting!!

Also the Uk is full of angry little bald men in white vans, the main offenders of road rage.

Sorry but the UK can't the kiwis for bad driving and road rage.
I spent my first few weeks convinced I was going to die in a car accident, was warned never to look into another driver's eyes if there was in incident and saw two people being given CPR at the side of the road after being T-boned in separate incidents on regular suburban roads. I have to take a convoluted route to school avoiding right turns because no one ever lets you out - they actually speed up if there is a gap to prevent you.

"can't beat the kiwis"

Oh goody, yet another UK/ England bashing thread, how many is that now?

I’m a Kiwi and now living in NZ but I spent ten years in London and loved it. So much energy and vibrancy and culture etc. yes, crowded. But it’s a big city - you can’t expect anything else.

It’ll probably never happen as we are happy in our Kiwi life but if we move back it would be to Yorkshire.

I really think it’s a mindset thing. I have lived in several countries and each one people complained about where they lived. But I always found something to like and tried to embrace it. And if that wasn’t possible, I moved on.

@franfine

So you've seen moaning, drama, and whinging since the Coronovirus?? Your household must be a nightmare!!

Historically there has always been empires. It was the way of the world back then. Survival of the fittest strongest I suppose back in the day.

Exactly! Why aren't you beating up the Italians for the Roman Empire way before, or Spain, France, Holland and Portugal for their empires at the same time as Britain's? It was all about seafaring nations buikding up the trade and yes, being competitive economically. Britain is not some sort of 'bad kid' of the block.

Absolutely love London, one of the most vibrant cities in the world, if you’re not happy please leave, simple!

I actually think people have bought into the idea that the political leader = ethics and quality of life.

There's actually a little difference, it's all PR. If you're poor, you have less options, no matter where you live, and visa versa.

Yes I agree. And that's why I moved abroad 4 years ago and would never move back to the UK!

@bettybattenburg - gorgeous place! I love Diamond Harbour.

I was just reading this thread and thinking that if someone overseas was reading it and thinking of moving to England I'm sure they would have changed their mind by now! Honestly, some of you are really going out of your way to prove the OP's point about it being an insufferable place to live. I realise most people here are lovely but honestly, wind your necks in the rest of you - you aren't doing your country any favours!

lovely OP was talikng about the commuter belt, not inner London! Surrey, I imagine - it's awful in terms of materialism and competitive attitudes/snobbism. Not everyone, of course, but plenty!

London itself is too busy and too transient to care what the neighbours are doing (apart from the wealthiest enclaves - and then these are mostly foreigners who are not there much, just visiting). Personally I love the liberal middle classes in London who are not wealthy but doing ok, just can't afford th big houses. They tend to be friendly/tolerant. For me the only big issue with London is, people are too busy and stressed to have time for meeting up without looking at their watch/diary - so frustrating! Well, and the crowded transport too.

I agree OP. England is overcrowded and for some unfathomable reason, well off people seem to want to continue to import additional people to the tune of a quarter of a million people a year.

Like any animal, forcing people to live like battery chickens brings out a variety of negative, stress-related feelings and behaviours. When I lived in a city I was also fed up to the back teeth of traffic, rude angry drivers, the impossibility of parking, the danger of cycling, air pollution, noise pollution, light pollution, waiting weeks for a GP appointment, months for a secondary care appointment (still have to do that), fighting for school places, year long waiting lists for a simple parent and toddler group, the destruction of every bit of wild green and scrubland to built more homes for ever more people, the conseqent further pressure on overcrowded little parks and every other public facility as per the above. I've moved somewhere quieter now for my sanity and it's much better, albeit with the constant sprouting up of yet more housing everywhere, but I still have to commute into the city and that never improves. There have been some great initiatives but environmental degradation is a threat and species diversity is shrinking dismally. People wail about the polar bears but don't appear to give much of a toss anymore about local wildlife.

Now we have the very obvious dangers to health of high population density in the face of a highly infectious new virus. Even the most ardent open doors proponents appear to be struggling to put a positive spin on this one but I fully expect to be told in due course how we'll need an extra few million overcrowded, low paid workers in the cities to help the economic recovery - we will then wring our hands and wonder why these people fare badly healthwise during the next viral outbreak.

I love living in the UK, I have been fortunate to live in many villages ,in different counties,for most of my life. I am not a lover of big towns and cities,and not a lover of over crowded motorways. etc.But love all the cultural and historical aspects,all over the country here.

I love watching travel programmes on Tv,and like to see all the amazing countries,like NZ,and Australia, all the vast areas of natural beauty,and the wildlife etc. And many years ago.I went to live in the USA for three years,in the beautiful Washington state in Seattle,it was so lovely. But however fantastic it all was, I would always want to be back in the place that is home here.

@Witchesandwizards - the home which @bettybattenburg showed is not in a remote area. It is within commuting distance of Christchurch.
@LuluJakey1 - many older NZ houses are made of wood (good in earthquakes), although not so many now as wood is expensive and I'm sorry, but Diamond Harbour is much more attractive than the beach photo you posted.

I find England insufferable but for different reasons to you. I don't find it crowded or particularly competitive but I am from Asia so maybe I have different standards on those fronts.

I just find English people quite obsessed with boring shit like work and mortgages. They'll discuss that kind of crap endlessly and I just find it dull.

Also the moaning. I love a moan but my God, sometimes it's just too much.

@eaglejulesk Ok, maybe it just looked remote and to me anything is remote where I can't walk to buy a pint of milk or earn a decent living. My point was that, unless you are retiring, most people's searches don't start with an affordable house, but an area.
When I started looking on the North Shore, I was looking at Long Bay as we could get so much more for our money, but soon realised how far it was because of the terrible traffic from where we needed to be and we ended up in Castor Bay.