AIBU - living in England completely insufferable?

[hellosunshine5]

As per the title really, I loved living here for a few years but I now just find the whole country completely insufferable.

Does anyone else feel the same?

For what it’s worth, I’m English and was born here to English parents who then emigrated to NZ when I was 8. Lived over there until I returned to England when I was 20 to get to know my extended family and have an adventure etc. I ended up meeting someone and settling - South East for reference.

Fast forward 7 years and I am really struggling to tolerate life here any longer. I’m making plans to leave, but they’re obviously on hold for the foreseeable.

My reasons?

• I work hard in a fairly well paid job that I commute to in London, but I can still only reasonably afford to live in a tiny one bedroom apartment with no outside space. I see my friends from back home in similar financial situations buying 4 bedroom new build family homes with massive gardens.

• England is over crowded. I find it unbearable to have to circle my local supermarket car park multiple times (whatever time of the day) to find a space. Such simple things in life shouldn’t be so difficult.

• I hate the competitiveness of life over here. Everyone trying to have the newest car, the best holidays, the nicest house, the best schools for their kids, even if they can’t actually afford it. I think people elsewhere in the world are much more humble and happy with their lot.

So, AIBU? Are you genuinely happy living here? Appreciate it’s a difficult question for those that have never lived elsewhere.

New Zealand is Little Britain.

Has anyone mentioned that they show all the U.K. soaps in arrears?? Or the restrictions on foreign buyers acquiring property there? Or the bit where New Zealander’s have any historic building more than 50 feet high?

Claps and nods

Yanbu.

I lived in London for 10 years. One day I just snapped and said to dh, that's it we're moving and put the house on the market the next week.

We've been out of the UK for 18 months and it's just so much better for us.

@bettybattenburg I'm sure I could find a lovely, remote home somewhere in the UK for £300k, but most people can't simply choose where they live based on finding a house they like. They have to be able to work, be near family and friends.

And in my experience of NZ homes, that looks like it would be very cold and damp in winter! As my GP who is from Berlin said - she has never been as cold as she has been in Auckland.

Well thanks to Google I'm very impressed that in 1893 New Zealand became the first country in the world to give all women the right to vote.

There are some lovely places to live in England. It depends where you feel most comfortable. I love Village life so Devon, Cornwall, Cotswolds, Yorkshire..... would suit me just fine.

I wouldn’t live in London or the suburbs if you paid me

I hate the competitiveness of life over here. Everyone trying to have the newest car, the best holidays, the nicest house, the best schools for their kids, even if they can’t actually afford it

You just described Auckland to a T. 😂

I would move out of London to one of the 2nd tier cities. You'll find it less competitive, more space and still find decent work.

There's plenty of villages in London, I live in one. Dulwich, Richmond, Hampstead, Marylebone etc

@Random452

Australian scientists have developed or helped to develop: the first pacemaker, Cochlear implants, penicillin, ultrasound machines and cervical cancer vaccines. None of which I knew, but found out in a two minute Google. Which is what I would suggest you do before you make yourself look foolish next time. (I couldn't be arsed to look up NZ's contributions to humankind, I'm sure you can google that too)

Oh please.... Try Industrial Revolution that benefited the Western World and then the rest.... of it wasn’t for Britain, Australia an NZ wouldn’t be where they are now 🙄

I've lived half my life in nz, half in England. All those points you've listed are absolutely major issues in Auckland.

London isn't England. We've had a much better standard of living since moving out of London. There is no way I could afford to move back to nz now and especially not auckland.

@bettybattenburg The setting of that house is stunning but it is basically a wooden chalet build. You are paying for the setting.

This is taken on the beach at the end of our street last week. It's stunning and you could buy a 3 bedroomed, spacious, very nice solid traditional house with 2 reception rooms, a large kitchen, garage and a garden for less than £300,000 within walking distance of this beach.

As my GP who is from Berlin said - she has never been as cold as she has been in Auckland.

Omg us too, we stayed in a house with friends in Auckland, I've never been so cold in all my life, it was just above freezing and we all sat every evening in our ski gear as there was literally no heating. They weren't even embarrassed.

New Zealand is beautiful but boy it's in the arse end of no-where.

Did the OP ever come back?

I hate the competitiveness of life over here. Everyone trying to have the newest car, the best holidays, the nicest house, the best schools for their kids, even if they can’t actually afford it. I think people elsewhere in the world are much more humble and happy with their lot.
Material competitiveness is not a part of English culture. The problem is more to do with the type of people you surround yourself with. I've known people like this but I've been brought up with decent values and don't feel the need to compete. The only person you should ever try to better is yourself. You need some new friends/colleagues.

However, from what you've said about homes and car parks, unless you can live here in a more rural setting, it sounds as if you do miss New Zealand and perhaps you would may fit in better there.

Auckland is so overpriced for what it is. Prices are so high - 4 bed house Op mentioned is probably a 4 hour commute away!

@Random452

Also, google as source of knowledge is hardly credible! I’ve just done a quick search myself and the guy who invented penicillin want Australian at all, he was ermmmmm British 🤔

I live in Scotland and love it, I holiday a lot in England and love it, I think we live in a very beautiful country, and as the old saying goes ‘ the grass is not always greener on he other side’

@Hunnybears

Plastic surgery - Sir Archibald Hector McIndoe and Sir Harold Delf Gillies, from WW2
Splitting the atom - Ernest Rutherford
Edmund Hillary - climbing Everest
Weta studios - Avatar, Lord of the Rings
Richard Curtis - 4 weddings and a funeral etc

NZ has a bit more to offer than you might think

@witchesandwizards most places are cliquey when you’re new. When you’re the migrant/blow in, you’re eager to make friends (hopefully!), but most people you meet already have their network, their friends etc in place and they might think “You’re nice”, but they’re also think they don’t have time to fit in new people. It’s frustrating as hell (we find that in Ireland), but it’s not unique to NZ. Your other comments are mostly true though; youth suicide is stubbornly high, the cost of living is excessive, domestic violence is prevalent, and it can be quite identikit. I don’t think NZ is any more Misogynistic than other countries, if anything I think NZ is less so. Aucklands winters are damp, it’s a damp cold, whereas I found London a brisk cold (just too much rain).

No country is perfect. One city or town usually isn’t representative of the whole country. The OP needs to find the right spot for her, but unless she can walk straight into a job in NZ with little upheaval, I’d suggest trying other parts of the U.K. first. I enjoyed London, I mostly enjoyed other parts of the UK, I mostly enjoyed NZ (but wouldn’t ever live in Auckland again if you paid me... and my grandmother tried to pay us!), and I’m sure there’ll be other countries I’ll love too before we die.

I think it depends on the city. I live in Wales on a low income and we have struggled to afford the capital. We’re planning on moving a little further out (not much more commute). I don’t think you get much of a decent choice in/around London. However, I must say that some other western countries seem to have a better quality of living.

Alexander Flemming was his name and he invented penicillin. He was actually Scottish so you’ve got that wrong for a start. I’ve not bothered looking at the rest of what you said

Don’t live or work in London and your live will be immeasurably better

@Hunnybears I think there’s a few places around the world that might have been grateful if Britain had stayed exactly where it was instead of colonising the world.

@MehMehMeow

Done a quick google one then atom splitting and you’re absolutely right, he was indeed from NZ.

I’m not disputing they have given the wider world inventions that benefit everyone but not as many as Britain. I would t expect that though it’s relatively new in comparison.

The fact he was based in Manchester at the time also illustrates my point. (Not to you, your point was put across in a descent manner and you were correct with your info. Same can’t be said for other posters)

I live in the Home Counties, actually not to far from a couple who also hated it and recently moved to LA 🙄 I was born and raised here and I absolutely detest it. It's not the place I recognise any longer, crowded, dirty and expensive . I would love to move to Spain or the canaries but I just can't afford it at the moment.

You see your friends in massive homes etc then this....

"hate the competitiveness of life over here. Everyone trying to have the newest car, the best holidays, the nicest house,"

You're as competitive as the next person. Get on with doing what you want to do

I agree. I'm emigrating in three months I could not be happier