Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How many of you have broken lockdown rules?

465 replies

vulvic · 09/05/2020 17:27

I'm just wondering. I thought the vast majority had stuck to it but seeing more threads and hearing more stories, it seems there is a lot of people still seeing close family.

Anyway, I'm in the Channel Isles. Still in lockdown but slightly easing.

I'm not interested in shopping, garden centres or more exercise. I'm not even interested in socialising or catching up with friends.
I just want to see my mum.

I think it's badly affecting her mental health now as she was depressive anyway, and my DS is struggling having not seen her for 2 months.

So, I'm just wondering, have any of you still been seeing close family? Or were you sticking to it and now given up and started visiting? Or are you encouraging to stick firmly to it for as long as possible?

I've been a firm sticker to the rules but now starting to feel the negatives are outweighing the positives but still completely paranoid.

OP posts:
NC4Now · 09/05/2020 19:05

When my children’s dad comes to pick them up he stops for a brew. He lives alone, and the kids are going between the two houses. I’m not sure if that’s ok by the rules or not.

chockaholic72 · 09/05/2020 19:07

I’ve stuck to it. But, I live alone, am pretty introverted, don’t have any kids or parents or a spouse and I’m a civil servant working from home. I live in the countryside so I go for a walk around 6am, come home, have a shower and breakfast and start work. I’ve been to the supermarket for a big shop every fortnight (solo living means more freezer space) and a once a week visit to the allotment on the weekend (self employed allotment partner goes once during the week) so we can keep on top of it. It’s been fairly easy for me to stick to it but my heart breaks for those with elderly parents and new babies.

Dodgytrousers · 09/05/2020 19:08

Absolutely fucking loads around here.

The ones moaning lock down should have began earlier and the ones that are moaning it should be over now.

The same ones that will be blaming Boris in two weeks when there is a serious spike in infection rates.

What the actual fuck is wrong with people.

peperethecat · 09/05/2020 19:08

I have mostly stuck to the rules but on my MIL's birthday I knocked on their door with a bunch of flowers.

PineappleDanish · 09/05/2020 19:10

think it's badly affecting her mental health now as she was depressive anyway,

GO AND SEE YOUR MUM.

Seriously. If you are concerned about her mental health, just go to see her.

Rigorousyetcalm · 09/05/2020 19:10

I have. Been out for exercise (walking) more than once a day a few times. That’s about it.

Hoggleludo · 09/05/2020 19:11

We've been inside since the end of feb. My children were unwell in the few weeks before lockdown. Then lockdown started and I got the letter to stay in for 12 weeks as I'm extremely vulnerable

So yep. We've stuck to it religiously. We have a food shop once a week. The drivers know now that we're extremely vulnerable and have been amazing. My neighbour goes to the chemist for my meds. Other than that. We've been inside.

gettingusedtothelimelight · 09/05/2020 19:13

@KnightError Do you not care that your son, DP and yourself if you got the chance could be spreading the virus?

I don't see how you couldn't see a good enough reason to stop your son staying at a friends. Is possible death not enough of a deterrent?

Claricethecat45 · 09/05/2020 19:14

I have
I went to visit a dear dear girlfriend today whose Husband took his life on Thursday evening. No close family - a lot of inlaws who are hostile - so I went to help her in any way I could - just at her home a 30 minute drive - and tbh, Im not apologising

Elmerrrrrrrr · 09/05/2020 19:14

Is possible death not enough of a deterrent?

By that logic you would never leave the house even in normal times.

Hoggleludo · 09/05/2020 19:15

@my2bundles

Same here. I will always have a clear conscious that I protected not only myself. But the others that are in my household

I don't give a damn if everyone else goes and gets sick

Though do remember. If you get unwell with corona and you end up in hospital. Our 2 now main hospitals. Are allowing anyone to be with you. You're allowed one person if the nurse in charge allows it once a week. No children whatsoever. Not even in end of life care

So once you're in hospital. You're on your own. Your on your own in icu. You're on your own end of life.

So regardless of the rules. Or guidelines. Or whatever. It doesn't matter in the end. Because the hospitals won't allow it. Simple as.

I don't want to be sick or dying on my own.

So I've done what I've done. Because of that mainly.

luckylavender · 09/05/2020 19:18

@Janaih - that's absolutely not true and you know it.

Many of the reasons on here are perfectly understandable ones.

But an attitude like yours doesn't just affect you, it affects all of us. We'll never get out of this if selfish people like you only think of yourselves. Makes me so very angry..

PineappleDanish · 09/05/2020 19:18

A clear CONSCIENCE. Not conscious.

Fuck sake, if you're going to be smug and passive aggressive, at least have the courtesy to do it properly.

Menora · 09/05/2020 19:18

I am not one of those ‘stickler for the rules’ people generally but I am as sick of lockdown as everyone else is. But it is so frustrating to keep hearing and seeing that it is ok.. it doesn’t apply to you for XYZ reasons. This is going on for everyone around you too, not just you. It’s selfish to see and hear some of these comments. It is also unlikely you aren’t accidentally exposing other people to CV that you may have inadvertently picked up from a shop trip, and you may not be as careful as you think you are with touching surfaces, staying 2m away etc - or the other people have not been as careful. This is exactly the issue.

For instance: Aunt Marge has been breaking the rules at home, you don’t know about it, hanging out with her neighbours. Her neighbours have been hanging out with their grandchildren too. Marge pops round to your house and you all infect each other.

No one can say with complete certainty that they fully know they do not have the virus or they are not able to pass it on. No one. Even if you have been locked in your house for 3 weeks solid, it turns out most people have still actually had to go out for food or see another human at some point

Floraflower3 · 09/05/2020 19:18

I agree with @Menora.

Unless actually helping with personal care or whatnot, you can zoom/face time or whatever with those with mental health issues.

The issue is you're not just accepting the risk to yourself. You could spread it to other people who end up in hospital/ end up in hospital yourself and it's not as if any of you will opt out of receiving treatment. Therefore it is everyone's business. It is heart breaking working in a hospital atm and infuriating to see people unnecessarily putting themselves at risk.

PhilCornwall1 · 09/05/2020 19:18

@AllieAct @PinkiOcelot

I'll answer all in one here. It's long so sorry about that.

If you look at what the letter says for shielding, it's basically live apart from everyone in your house, use a different bathroom (we have one), or ensure it's thoroughly cleaned after each use (basically top to bottom) and the same for the kitchen and use in shifts, sleep separately, we have three bedrooms all used. Keep away from others in your household.

Now, my wife is working full time from home as am I and we have two teenagers. I am going to make damn sure I am going to be helping her at the same time with everything that needs doing day to day in the house. I am not leaving it to her to do it, if others are in the same area of the house. It's not in my nature and it's bloody unfair. As far as going out for shopping, I am taking her, but won't go in the shops and I do take an evening walk with her.

What kind of life would she have otherwise, it would be awful and completely unfair.

Regarding the ventilator question,that seems just goading me into a defence of why I would be worthy. To be honest, they give me one or they don't. I have a shortened life due to illness, so at peace with dying.

This coronavirus does not in any way concern me, I would be in the same position if I had the flu, I live with the risk all the time,

As I said to my GP, there is no way I can do this for the above reasons and he completely understood. In his words "shielding has been designed without the consideration of how people actually live".

Elmerrrrrrrr · 09/05/2020 19:18

PineappleDanish

Thank fuck someone else said it 😅 I wasn't brave enough!

VerticalHorizon · 09/05/2020 19:19

I think some folks really find themselves unsure what to do...

A young lad at work with a baby - he needs the money, I get that. At the same time, his g/f works in a care home.

Work don't really know what level of PPE is ideal, and getting hold of FFP3 level face masks is very difficult. Some lads have to share a van, and that causes issues too. We can have some use their own cars, but some of them can't drive...

It's a mess for a lot of folks and I think many have stuck at it for 7 weeks and but can't hold on much longer (esp self employed). They don't want to put anybody at risk, but they have bills to pay too. It is hard to be too critical.

All we can all really do is make the best effort we can to get through it.
If you know you're doing the best YOU can, then I think morally, that's enough.

Original poster
vulvic · 09/05/2020 19:19

We video call every day but I just think it's not cutting it to not see her grandkids.

She's by no means vulnerable as well, she's in her 30s!

OP posts:
lotusbell · 09/05/2020 19:19

My dad, early 70s, lives a 1 minute walk from me. He's been so isolating,the occasional drive to local beauty spots for walks, to take photos etc, but once every week type of thing. I've been popping out to buy him a paper and also take his bank card etc to get his weekly shopping then dropping it off. As the weather has been so good, he's been sat out in his garden most days and I sometimes stay 10/15 minutes to chat, at a safe distance. OH and I both wfh/furloughed so not going anywhere other than shopping.

oldiewelshie · 09/05/2020 19:21

@Menora I think I may have mixed you up with another poster, Mcvitoes. Apologies. I'm blaming lockdown brain.

Boredtobeers · 09/05/2020 19:22

I've seen my DM, she has a learning disability and needs support.

I haven't seen anybody else but nor do I feel guilty for seeing my mum.

Hoggleludo · 09/05/2020 19:22

However. I do believe they're are some good cases for not following guidelines

For old people who have no family close by. Whose wife or husband might of died and without human contact would be suicidal. For family emergencies where someone is sick etc or rushed to hospital and have no childcare.

It's common sense really. We all have to use common sense. Interpretation of the guidelines (not rules. Nor laws). Seem to be the 2 hardest things. For some people laying sunbathing in the park is essential to their mental health. For example might be ok for some. Might not be for others.

40somethingJBJ · 09/05/2020 19:23

I had a socially distanced dog walk with a friend today. We bumped into each other at a local nature reserve and the dogs were playing happily, so we walked (well, I rolled as I’m on a mobility scooter!), well apart, in the same general direction and had a chat. There’s a one way system in place there at the minute, so it’s not like we could go opposite ways!

Other than that, I’ve been stopping for a chat when dropping shopping off to my shielding dad, but, as he’s not left the house in 8 weeks, and I’ve not set foot in a shop or anywhere as been getting both our shopping delivered, I feel the risk is fairly minimal.

Boredtobeers · 09/05/2020 19:24

@vulvic your mum is in her 30s? How old are you? Just curious

Swipe left for the next trending thread