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AIBU?

How many of you have broken lockdown rules?

465 replies

vulvic · 09/05/2020 17:27

I'm just wondering. I thought the vast majority had stuck to it but seeing more threads and hearing more stories, it seems there is a lot of people still seeing close family.

Anyway, I'm in the Channel Isles. Still in lockdown but slightly easing.

I'm not interested in shopping, garden centres or more exercise. I'm not even interested in socialising or catching up with friends.
I just want to see my mum.

I think it's badly affecting her mental health now as she was depressive anyway, and my DS is struggling having not seen her for 2 months.

So, I'm just wondering, have any of you still been seeing close family? Or were you sticking to it and now given up and started visiting? Or are you encouraging to stick firmly to it for as long as possible?

I've been a firm sticker to the rules but now starting to feel the negatives are outweighing the positives but still completely paranoid.

OP posts:
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MehMehMeow · 09/05/2020 18:48

We’re in Ireland, with no family nearby (as in different countries). We’ve stuck to the rules. Annoyingly, our bloody neighbours haven’t. BBQs, running back and forth between their homes, teenagers sitting in the green and having a kick about. No surprises why our areas been flagged as having a high infection rate

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GreyGardens88 · 09/05/2020 18:48

I've not. I'm in a flatshare in zone 2, no garden or access to private outdoor space. I've still stuck to maximum 1 hour outdoor exercise per day and only walking to the supermarket for essentials. Yes I deserve to be smug and proud when middle class families with huge gardens are getting in their land rovers to drive to Snowdonia.

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itsnotcakeitsbaby · 09/05/2020 18:48

@Menora your list of the rules is not right though, it wasn't "food, medicine, work, exercise" it was "essential supplies like food" and "health reasons like exercise" etc - there is not an exhaustive list like the one you said.

I have to go to hospital appointments - that is health reasons, but not in your list. I also have to get baby clothes and nappies - they are essential supplies, but not in your list.

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Echobelly · 09/05/2020 18:49

Two weeks in, I dropped off some food to my parents as they hadn't been able to get any deliveries yet and were shielding (allowed in itself). They both turned 70 just before lockdown and have slightly high blood pressure so are slightly at risk but not 'OMG! If they get this they will die/be hospitalised' - they have a large side gate and a big garden so I sat and talked with mum (well over 2m away).

Today I dropped something mum needed off and brought the kids (old enough to understand social distancing) and we did similar in the garden - will not repeat any time soon as not going to totally take the P, but have seen plenty of families having distanced chats with grandparents and given ILs are a 30 min walk away they've seen the kids I just wanted mine to see the kids once as they're only 20 mins drive away but not walkable. Frankly, if lockdown gets eased (though I don't think it will be meaningfully changed soon), this might be the safest time to see them for a while.

Step-grandma is 90 and widowed last year, and her daughter and grandkids have been to see her, with social distancing, in gardens of her flats because honestly, you can't just expect her to be left there alone.

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WanderingMilly · 09/05/2020 18:51

I have absolutely stuck to lockdown policy. I live on my own, in a flat but fortunately in the countryside. I walk every day just once, often early morning, the country lane is absolutely remote, not a soul in sight.

I shop once a week at the nearest market town. Go in my own car, in full mask/gloves, I go at a time when there's hardly any customers, keep to myself, buy essentials, go home and wash everything.

Haven't seen family, haven't seen friends, would love to go out for a coffee or meet up at a Garden Centre but haven't and can't. I've managed, it's fine, I feel very lucky to be honest.
I will carry on sticking to lockdown for as long as it takes....

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oldiewelshie · 09/05/2020 18:52

Does it not seem counter productive to bend the lockdown rules to support your own or others mental health (or other self identified essential reasons people seem to be talking about) which is due in part worse to being in lockdown. Which is going to keep being extended the longer it takes to reduce transmission. Whilst we all continue to add to the transmission by not abiding by the rules

The law allows for it, though.


6.—(1) During the emergency period, no person may leave the place where they are living without reasonable excuse.

(2) For the purposes of paragraph (1), a reasonable excuse includes the need—

(a)to obtain basic necessities, including food and medical supplies for those in the same household (including any pets or animals in the household) or for vulnerable persons and supplies for the essential upkeep, maintenance and functioning of the household, or the household of a vulnerable person, or to obtain money, including from any business listed in Part 3 of Schedule 2;

(b)to take exercise either alone or with other members of their household;

(c)to seek medical assistance, including to access any of the services referred to in paragraph 37 or 38 of Schedule 2;

(d)to provide care or assistance, including relevant personal care within the meaning of paragraph 7(3B) of Schedule 4 to the Safeguarding of Vulnerable Groups Act 2006(1), to a vulnerable person, or to provide emergency assistance;


Citation, commencement, application and interpretation

1.—(1) These Regulations may be cited as the Health Protection (Coronavirus, Restrictions) (England) Regulations 2020 and come into force at 1:00 p.m. on 26th March 2020.

(2) These Regulations apply in relation to England only.

(3) In these Regulations—

(a)“coronavirus” means severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2);

(b)a “person responsible for carrying on a business” includes the owner, proprietor, and manager of that business;

(c)“vulnerable person” includes—

(i)any person aged 70 or older;

(ii)any person under 70 who has an underlying health condition, including but not limited to, the conditions listed in Schedule 1;

(iii)any person who is pregnant

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Menora · 09/05/2020 18:52

I just don’t understand anyone’s logic really. It is very WTF

No it is not the same thing caring for a dementia patient, fixing broken boilers or essential maintenance as it is seeing your parents for walks every day, having your family over because you miss them etc.

The interpretation of the word ‘essential’ is now a joke. It has always been essential to look after elderly or unwell people, have the basics of food, water and live in a safe as home as possible. Corona virus does not change this, it adds a level of caution to those tasks.

The more people bend the rules to deem their own actions essential the longer lockdown will continue, or will happen again very quickly - you selfishly steal this time from those who need human interaction more than you do.

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maddiemookins16mum · 09/05/2020 18:53

I drive to work, drive home.
Shopping delivered.
I have been to the Chemist twice and the butchers every fortnight.
Oh and I needed petrol.
That’s it.

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TeenPlusTwenties · 09/05/2020 18:53

Does it not seem counter productive to bend the lockdown rules to support your own or others mental health (or other self identified essential reasons people seem to be talking about) which is due in part worse to being in lockdown. Which is going to keep being extended the longer it takes to reduce transmission. Whilst we all continue to add to the transmission by not abiding by the rules

No. It doesn't. If people followed strongly for 3 weeks and then aren't going out to work then the risk of them having the virus is pretty low, especially in less urban areas.
If they then feel that physical/mental health of someone else (not just 'feeling a bit sad') has significant benefit from 'bending' the rules (you mean following the allowances in the rules) then that's OK.

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Darkbendis · 09/05/2020 18:53

We've stuck to the rules. But we don't have family living in our city (and most of them are not in this country, so we couldn't visit them even if we wanted to), a lot of friends don't live in our area so we can't just meet them for a socially distanced walk, we have a garden and we don't need to shield or auto-isolate, can work from home and we have a car, so can do big shops. And DH and I have been working for NHS and have seen how bad Covid-19 can be Sad , would rather not take chances.

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Menora · 09/05/2020 18:53

@oldiewelshie

Thanks for that
Maybe people can skim the rules to see where all their essential garden parties fit in

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LuminousAmber · 09/05/2020 18:54

Probably yes.

I drove to my mums to get the lawnmower from her garage.

I went and got a bottle of wine from the co-op last week

I went on two short walks in one day with the dc a few days ago

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VerticalHorizon · 09/05/2020 18:55

In fairness, the Government accepts some personal interpretation HAS to happen and hopes we'll make the right choice on our own.
It never expects 100% adherence, but sets a bar and hopes to get 90% of it...

When it lowers the bar, it will expect 90% of that bar level... not 100%

The danger comes when folks start to really take a liberal interpretation, or actively exploit a loophole for their own ends. That's when adherence starts to drop to 80% etc...

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Welshmaenad · 09/05/2020 18:55

I suppose it depends on whether you think it's important to stick to the letter or the spirit of the rules.

DP moved in with us for lockdown, his workplace shut down for several weeks but then reopened. As his house is sat empty there have been a few days where he's gone back there after a night shift to sleep, because I'm working from home (key worker) and my children have been there and it's impossible to meet everyone's needs for quiet to sleep/privacy to work/keeping occupied. He comes back to us when he's slept. We also decamped as a household to his for the night, earlier in lockdown, so his house wasn't left empty enough to void his insurance. Our houses are near each other.

So, maybe we broke the rules, but we have otherwise been careful about contact with others. We shop when we need to, we exercise away from home because we need to for accessibility for me (I'm disabled and use mobility aids that are impossible to use "from my doorstep"). We're just trying to function as a unit and not be dicks, basically.

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Dumpyandabdabs · 09/05/2020 18:56

My husband is a key worker and works really long shifts so have taken the dogs for 2 walks on the days he's at work. I have stuck to the all the advice other than this.

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oldiewelshie · 09/05/2020 18:56

Menora it's nothing to do with garden parties. I posted that to show that people like @Straycatstrut and @Vicbarbarkley are doing nothing wrong. I don't think anyone has said garden parties are OK?

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DamnYankee · 09/05/2020 18:58

A few weeks ago, one poster wrote they were “literally shaking and sobbing” as somebody else on the thread had purchased a single chocolate bar that wasn’t an essential item.
Ffs
And I read the "Murder" thread. My jaw dropped.
Majority of PPs seem to have acted sensibly and compassionately. Kudos for doing your own thinking...
I feel sympathy for those that are genuinely frightened about stepping back into the world.
However, those who are clutching their pearls and their pitchforks while screaming about homicide? Just No.
As the Southern ladies I know would say to them, "God bless your little heart."
And then cut them dead.

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Endofmytether2020 · 09/05/2020 18:59

I have been absolutely scrupulous but yesterday had a drive way drink with our next door neighbours - totally socially distanced and we didn't share anything. However, they did bring their chairs to the end of our drive - complicated to explain but the logistics of it mean everyone was able to distance from the pavement which was really busy. We sat about 3 metres away. I've been up most of the night with shame - feel like I've lost my lockdown virginity. My DH keeps telling me it was fine but I feel rotten, even though I don't actually think we've done anything to spread the virus.

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Mcvitoes · 09/05/2020 18:59

@Vicbarbarkley Has no visitors

That's the priority at this stage. It's only been a few weeks.

Talking about being a victim one way or the other is ridiculous, because you're saying that catching the virus and the consequences of that would be better than the alternative. For an 84 year old man!

You say you're pointing all this out 'again', but your first post didn't say he was bereaved and lonely. And your second didn't say he needed supplies from you, just company.

You just said you had a brain and wanted to go for a walk with him and now you're saying you're providing food...

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IdblowJonSnow · 09/05/2020 18:59

I think there have been a few days where I've been out more than once.
I drove to a friends on her birthday and chatted from end of her driveway. That's about it!
We often chat to people in the street who we know but always keep a distance.
Pretty sure if I was younger and had a boyfriend who I didnt live with I'd have broken the rules.
Everyone I know is sticking to rules and no VE parties in our area thankfully!

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TinRoofRusty · 09/05/2020 19:00

Use your common sense! You don't need Misery Marys or the government to dictate to you how to behave if you use your brain, assess your own risk and make decisions accordingly. Utter nonsense not to see family if you've all been isolating for weeks.

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Menora · 09/05/2020 19:01

@oldiewelshie

Which part of that specifically pertains to the situations people have posted that I am talking about?

i.e. the current trend of socially distancing 2m apart in their gardens with people from outside of their household or going on daily walks with them

(Not: getting medication and food for an elderly person. Or being the only person a vulnerable elderly person gets to see. Or fixing a smoke alarm)

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LouiseTrees · 09/05/2020 19:01

No one I know personally has broken it.

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Elmerrrrrrrr · 09/05/2020 19:03

I actually think there are some people who have been waiting their whole lives to have an excuse like this to froth and boss people around and however much they might protest they are loving it.

The type of people who are all "rules are rules" and will rigidly obey any and all rule just because it is a "rule" and has zero logic or common sense

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Menora · 09/05/2020 19:03

@Vicbarbarkley

Not talking about your dad
So stop jumping up and down

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