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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How many of you have broken lockdown rules?

465 replies

vulvic · 09/05/2020 17:27

I'm just wondering. I thought the vast majority had stuck to it but seeing more threads and hearing more stories, it seems there is a lot of people still seeing close family.

Anyway, I'm in the Channel Isles. Still in lockdown but slightly easing.

I'm not interested in shopping, garden centres or more exercise. I'm not even interested in socialising or catching up with friends.
I just want to see my mum.

I think it's badly affecting her mental health now as she was depressive anyway, and my DS is struggling having not seen her for 2 months.

So, I'm just wondering, have any of you still been seeing close family? Or were you sticking to it and now given up and started visiting? Or are you encouraging to stick firmly to it for as long as possible?

I've been a firm sticker to the rules but now starting to feel the negatives are outweighing the positives but still completely paranoid.

OP posts:
Menora · 09/05/2020 20:30

I asked you what point you were trying to make. Not called you pointless. You like a bit of gaslighting no?

KimchiLaLa · 09/05/2020 20:30

My DD has been visiting her grandparents. We did it from about week 6 of our isolation as we started isolating a bit earlier. They are desperate to have her, we are desperate to get some uninterrupted work done.

Elmerrrrrrrr · 09/05/2020 20:31

asked you what point you were trying to make. Not called you pointless. You like a bit of gaslighting no?

I know, I literally responded to your question. I wasn't making a point. I was answering the question asked in the OP. I wasn't gaslighting.

Elmerrrrrrrr · 09/05/2020 20:32

It's shit for all of us

I'd hazard a guess it's probably shitter for those who feel suicidal and unable to seek help, or women trapped with their young children in flats with abusers watching their every move. Wouldn't you say?

VerticalHorizon · 09/05/2020 20:34

Come on folks... life really is too short for the heated arguments.

I'm putting the kettle on, and normally would offer to make it for all, but in the circumstances, you can all bloody well make your own!

Holymolymackerel · 09/05/2020 20:34

I went to b and q for gardening supplies once.

I drove 80 mins round trip for a 20 minute chat with my widowed mother as she is struggling. Spoke through an opened window.

Sometimes, I have had 2 walks a day, sometimes no walks for days.

GrandTheftWalrus · 09/05/2020 20:39

DD goes to my parents house so me and her dad can work. At first I was panicking about it but I see no difference from her going there to separated children going from house to house.

They have a garden she can play in. We are on the 9th floor. They have both taken furlough and don't go anywhere else. So they and us had basically been inside for over the 14 days so I see no problem.

I await the abuse.

looselegs · 09/05/2020 20:41

I visit my Mum and my kids go too( they're 22 and 17 so understand social distancing,handwashing etc). We have a key, let ourselves in, wash hands,and sit on a little wooden chair about 5 metres away. We don't eat or drink anything while we're there. She's 84.She lives alone in a first floor flat, isn't going out and we take her shopping, newspapers and magazines.
At the moment her mental health is more important than anything. She's amazing- but I can't have her getting depressed. She said she'd rather be dead than stay in for months on end

PinkiOcelot · 09/05/2020 20:44

This thread makes for depressing reading.
I blamed the government for the 30+k deaths. Take it back. It’s peoples stupidity. The lockdown rules don’t apply to me blah blah. Shocking! What’s the fucking point!!

VerticalHorizon · 09/05/2020 20:45

Come on... we can't have a contest about who it is worse for.
We never know the state of anybody's mind - some in terrible situations manage to get through, and some in 'seemingly' trivial situations are on the brink of suicide...

We cannot, and must not start arguing over who has it worse.

19lottie82 · 09/05/2020 20:45

No one I know personally has broken it.

I doubt that!

VodkaCranberry2 · 09/05/2020 20:46

Yes I have, this week. I had a traumatic csection four weeks ago and had been isolating with my partner since 34 weeks. I had a difficult pregnancy with pregnancy induced hypertension, reduced movements and gestational diabetes and it was hard having no family support. Then the early csection for reduced movements. Then having a newborn with no family around has been bloody hard. I have bipolar disorder and am high risk for PND due to this and some days have been unbearable. My partner goes back to work next week in a supermarket so will be higher risk to me and baby and everyone else. I spoke to my health visitor and CPN and they advised we go and see family for a bit of normality. We saw my mum two days ago and all sat in the garden, and we saw MIL today, they have their own field so we were able to social distance amazingly and we stayed there for the afternoon and had a few drinks. We are going back to isolating now whether restrictions are relaxed or not because partner is going back to work. I feel better for that bit of normality and I think it has helped my mental health.

lljkk · 09/05/2020 20:46

I listen to BBC too much... which means I keep hearing the story about NZealand's success against c19. The story features a clip of their news, that goes a lot like this

"Welcome to the 6pm news. Today there were 204 violations and 409 penalties given out on the first day of some restrictions being eased. The Prime Minister reminded everyone that the situation is still grave.

(Adhern speaking) 'I remind everyone to still act as though you know you are infected. Thank you for reporting violations and I urge you to please keep reporting all violations.' "

That woman is so Off my Christmas Card List. It seems their Lockdown strategy is all about being a gleeful nation of snitches. I imagine so many MNers would absolutely love all that. And if you knew you were infected, wouldn't it be a violation to be out in public? Confused

Apparently they have no unambiguous rules on how far you can go for exercise. Everyone is confused. Their snitching website forms are very busy. 6 mile walk would probably be considered excessive -- basically your neighbour gets to decide if it was excessive when they report you or not.

Menora · 09/05/2020 20:47

There's not going to be extended lockdown, it's unsustainable. People breaking the 'rules' aren't going to change that.

This type of comment is really unhelpful. The transmission rate needs to be low so we can unlock, protect the NHS etc etc. Everything now depends on the R number from now on, it will dictate what is open, closed, what rules to follow. Saying well it doesn’t matter anyway and doing as you please does prolong this period of time due to the incubation period. Although the economy cannot be sustained like this in the long term, it is relying on people following the rules to reduce the impact on everyone else!

Mrsdoubtfireswig · 09/05/2020 20:48

Stuck to them mostly. Family members live close by so we’ve had chats when we’ve been walking past (us on path, them on door steps), sometimes got within 2m of someone else in supermarket (mostly other people not adhering to rules rather than us) and yesterday has socially distanced street party where we occasionally were within 2 m of a neighbour (we came in when the social distancing started getting quite ‘relaxed’

Have shopped for my parents and left on their drive, washed my hands, washed my shopping, quarantined the post... but cannot wait for the restrictions to be eased even if only slightly so we can start a taking small steps back to normality

DressesWithPocketsRockMyWorld · 09/05/2020 20:50

We have not broken the rules once. We have 3 kids and I am still working and trying to finish up some pretty gruelling university work. It is hard but it is necessary.

VerticalHorizon · 09/05/2020 20:51

It's not JUST the r number. Out of context, this can be misleading.
An r of 3.0 with only 10 people is entirely manageable.
An r of 1.5 with 100,000 people is a much more difficult prospect.

But yes, we need to feel the spread of the virus in within our limits to cope with it, and serve the needs of the infected. If it's not, then the lockdown WILL continue or be tightened, make no mistake about that.

Toothsil · 09/05/2020 20:51

We've mainly stuck to the rules except today my best friend called round with some presents for my birthday next weekend (so they can be quarantined all week 😂) and she and her partner came into the garden and sat 2 metres away from us. So I suppose we were still sticking to the rules really. Nobody else has been in at all.

cologne4711 · 09/05/2020 20:53

I blamed the government for the 30+k deaths. Take it back. It’s peoples stupidity

How does having two walks a day cause 30,000 deaths?

Mrsdoubtfireswig · 09/05/2020 20:54

I do have sympathy with those visiting parents etc who live alone, and especially the pp who has spent the day with their dad and dog and the pp who lost and thankfully found her kitten.
Whilst the rules are there to be adhered to I do think you’ve got to make your own judgement on whether to break them. I think a lot of the reasons on this thread would be deemed essential anyway as providing support for vulnerable family members or for yourselves.

Going to b&m for some new plants and solar lights however is a little bit different !

Saxineno · 09/05/2020 20:55

Broke it twice. Once to pick up a friend being repatronised and needed picking up from the airport and taking to his mums to live for a while. He had no money or any other way to get back, and I self isolated when I got back from the airport just in case

Yesterday I took a non essential journey to my sister to drop of presents at distance for her 40th birthday. Stayed away, didn't get close, just ten minutes at the end of her drive to see her and give her gifts.

kanikke · 09/05/2020 20:56

Mostly stuck to it but the past couple of weeks I've taken my children with me for a walk to the supermarket when I could have/should have left them at home. I justified it as combining daily exercise with essential shopping even though the shopping was bribes for them to behave and do their school work and not so essential alcohol for me to make this hell more bearable.

SingleDadReally · 09/05/2020 20:57

I went on a socially distanced walk with my girlfriend today. We kept apart the whole time. She’s been at her daughters but returned to living on her own after Easter. We’re normally quite tactile but kept apart. We were both abandoned by our partners well before we met and try to help and support each other-haven’t met since early March.

VerticalHorizon · 09/05/2020 20:58

It isn't any one thing, it's a cumulative effect of lots of minor transgressions, which then multiples when the r rate is greater than 1.

Even WITH folks sticking to the rules, 2m distancing doesn't guarantee no transmission, it only reduces it. 1 walk is day is better than 2, 1 trip to work is better than 2, but not as good as 0...

Every time I drive, I contribute to global warming. Me and millions of others cumulative cause it.
In the same way, our actions care helping to reduce the deaths, but ever little blip also matters too.

But we have to expect blips. We have to accept that each of us, at some point might make a mistake, or have to compromise.

If you KNOW you're doing the best you possibly can, you can't do any more than that.

Onlyherefortheconspiracies · 09/05/2020 21:01

My pal was out a walk today and we roared at each other across my garden. Loved seeing her. Other pal came and sat 2 metres away on his way back from shopping. Live alone and frontline anyway. Not seeing elderly parents.