Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

385 replies

Ilovetea09 · 09/05/2020 09:24

Morning. I'm on day 54 of self isolation now. We are stuck in groundhog day and The kids are finding homeschool difficult and they miss their friends.
But we have been so lucky with the weather and to have a garden and are trying to make the best of it. We camped out there the other night which was great fun. Something we would never normally do. My husband is still working but when he's home I've noticed we've spent a lot more time together as a family which has been nice. Just doing simple things like playing outside, playing with toys.
We have been getting more exercise than we usually would which is a positive. We are eating less and spending less.

It has shown me how much I love travelling and going to the seaside /or on holiday. I really need something to look forward to it seems! And going on days out and the weekend, we really miss that.

But it's also shown me just how introverted I am, and my husband. My husband has always been antisocial, he had a few work friends /aqaintencies, but he's let them slip away and now has none. He says he's perfectly happy with this as hes never enjoyed friends!
Im similar in that I don't have a large group of friends. I have one best friend who I've not seen since February as she's living at a hospital with her sick baby for at least 6 months. My only other friends are school mums who I chat to at the gate. I aren't sad we haven't got friends but it has highlighted it to me when I see on social media people hosting quiz nights with friends and having group video chats etc.
Lockdown has also shown me how we aren't close to other family members and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. We all live locally to each other and we saw my parents and in laws every weekend before lockdown . But it was tedious and I don't have a good relationship with my narcissist father so the meetups were never fun anyway. I feel terrible saying this but to not see them has been quite freeing for me. My anxiety around my father has gone and I feel relaxed for the first time in years.
I don't know what our new normal will be going forward after lockdown but I do know that I want to change some things to live a happier and more fulfilling life than we were.
What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

OP posts:
drumandthebass · 09/05/2020 17:50

ThAt I love being at home and don't really miss people. I wonder if I could live like this permanently or if it's the novelty

fia101 · 09/05/2020 17:52

How important family is. I always knew they were and I flipping adore and love them but being unable to see anyone outside of my immediate family has highlighted this to me even more. They're my life, they make me laugh, they break my heart at times and they also make it swell. If the virus hadn't hit I'd love another baby.

I also realise how much I love my job and how lucky I am to have it.

How lovely my husband is. He has such a lovely personality - easy going, laughs at himself, caring, would do anything for you - great husband, dad and son

SpringSpringTime · 09/05/2020 17:54

@CMOTDibbler it’s no substitute for friendship but I always like your posts and notice you around here! ( I NC regularly because I have no filter)

Truzza · 09/05/2020 18:04

I'm grateful for seeing people as they are, friends who I suspected were selfish twats are SELFISH TWATS .... and good friends have come out of this. Sometimes I think I'm too loyal because it's be known them for years etc

Also that my kids are generally lovely 😊, with school, work etc there were lots of meltdowns
And now we're just chilled and living for the hour rather than the weekend.

And how self reliant I am.

BertieBotts · 09/05/2020 18:07

I need to work full time. Not sure how lockdown made me see this - maybe because I miss seeing people, but am immensely relieved I don't have to spend the money it costs to go and see people. Whether that's bus fare or coffee shop stuff or entry fees to things or classes etc. I need to have a way of socialising that doesn't cost money and actually gives me extra money so that I can go out and socialise properly as well!

Lynda07 · 09/05/2020 18:09

That is a very encouraging post, ilovetea. It's nice and gentle and I can imagine your life being like that at the moment which is great. Thank you, you've cheered me up (not that I was down :-))!

I think a lot of people have found great benefit from self isolation, some have never previously had such an opportunity. I like it too. As long as we don't forget those who are having a hard time and try to help where we can, it's fine to enjoy the present - it won't last forever.

Futureplanning · 09/05/2020 18:09

That I can be at home and enjoy it. Before now I had never spent a whole 24 hours in the house, even on mat leave I went out daily. I'm really enjoying being home, cooking, baking, gardening, playing with ds and being with DH.

That I spend too much money on shit, the money we've saved is being spent on a few house jobs that have needed doing for a while but no spare cash for.

That although we're missing our normal life, we don't want it to go back to the way it was. Less clubs for ds and more time hanging out at home.

That we all needed this rest. DH got diagnosed with a life limiting illness 12 months ago and has spent a year battling and still trying to work full time, I'm not sure if/how he will be able to go back to that now.

That I'm really worried about the future and how we'll manage.

OneKeyAtATime · 09/05/2020 18:42

That I love nature
That I love watching and listening to birds in my garden
That I live in a lovely area
That I don't need to go on holidays abroad so often
That I definitely married the right man.
That I don't like work anywhere as much as I thought I did.
That I am so much happier when I dont see my colleagues. Nothing wrong with them. I just like being on my own!

Hedgehog44 · 09/05/2020 20:01

That I don't really like people as am not missing anyone but that I do like my job and will be devastated if it's not there to go back to.

bettybattenburg · 09/05/2020 20:14

@CMOTDIbbler I notice your posts too and value them Flowers

We're in the same boat re so called friends. I've just had a mass cull of mobile numbers stored in my phone of people who I now know don't give a shit.

nicknamehelp · 09/05/2020 20:15

That I need to slow down and not cram so much into my days as loving the slower pace of life.
That I need human interaction but I am strong and can do more than I tbought so to give myself more credit.

Stronger76 · 09/05/2020 20:51

How much my relationship with my mum affects my MH. I've spent the last 2 years going low contact, lots of counselling, then boom. I'm expected to run round and pick up the slack (which I have done, dutifully, FOG anyone?) but she's spent the last 7 weeks undermining me, having little digs and criticising everything about and everyone in my life.

No more.

Pinkarsedfly · 09/05/2020 20:54

How stressful I find too much interaction with the outside world.

It’s been like a weight has been lifted.

Also what lovely friends and family I have. My birthday was very touching. Lots of cards, presents, messages and phone calls.

How much I love my home and family.

How much I took travel for granted. I long to see the sea.

Waitingwaiting12 · 09/05/2020 21:01

That it’s shit

Mucklowe · 09/05/2020 21:10

That I look like an utter moose on Zoom.

FelicityMarbles · 09/05/2020 21:16

That my dog is wonderful and I really really love him.

AnPo · 09/05/2020 21:28

I've realised that I hate being a SAHM and simply can't do it anymore once this thing is over.

It has drained the life and soul from me and the only thing that was preventing me from seeing how bad it was, was the distraction of playgroups/preschool etc.

I've realised I'll never be happy (or thin!) again until I go back to work. Applied for my first job in four years yesterday as a result 😬

LaneBoy · 09/05/2020 21:32
  • Just how much general life stresses me out. I’m autistic and my anxiety is so much better at the moment.
  • That we were really failing to spend proper time together as a family and as a couple. Even simple things like kicking a football about together, or racing each other at Mario Kart, or playing a board game in the evening - this is stuff we COULD be doing, but just haven’t been making the effort.
  • That life is so much better for all of us when we are less stressed. There are things we miss, sure, but I feel like I’m a better mum especially to the toddler, we are finally managing to get the house organised, the older two are happily doing chores to a schedule etc.
  • Not a realisation exactly but we’ve changed the way we work with my 10yo (he’s been home ed 5 years) due to all the free subs etc, and it’s made things far more spontaneous - I really feel like we’ve got the perfect balance for him now and he’s flourishing.

We will be thinking very carefully about what life should look like once things go back to “normal”.

FithColumnist · 09/05/2020 21:36

How much I hate working from home. As in it genuinely triggers massive amounts of anxiety and has led ot me being signed off sick as a result.

ChocolateQuiltedShitPig · 09/05/2020 21:38

I've realised how much money I spend on absolute shit in places like Home Bargains and supermarkets simply on my way home from work.

I'm pregnant so I haven't been in a shop since lockdown and I'm able to save an extra £100 per week

MarshaBradyo · 09/05/2020 21:39

Fith why do you have anxiety over it? Asking nicely not sarkily

SunshineCake · 09/05/2020 21:45

That I don't need to leave the house every day other than walking the dog. That I buy too much food. That all I need is my husband and children. That I am very antisocial. That I make more of an effort with texting people. That I really can feed us out of thin air. That I've thrown too much food away in the last that would have been fine. That even past it's use by food is usually fine. That I really do function better with a routine and I have one even in these circumstances. That my youngest child is a really lovely person. That my eldest is even more amazing than I thought. That my daughter is still the same challenging, infuriating and exhausting child who belongs to herself she always was and I hope she is happy.

lakeswimmer · 09/05/2020 21:46

That I'm lucky to live in a beautiful place.
That I don't do enough exercise and with a bit of effort I could fit some in when this is over.

Bluesrunthegame · 09/05/2020 21:50

That I love being out of the house! And how much I love going to the theatre and cinema and seeing friends. Once this is over, I'm never going to be at home.

Sometimes, if I had been travelling a lot for work or had been visiting Europe a lot, I thought I was tired of travelling and would quite like some quiet time at home. Ha.

FithColumnist · 09/05/2020 21:55

@MarshaBradyo I work in a field with very difficult clients (housing and homelessness), and I simply can't take the abuse I get over the phone with as much equanimity as I can in person!