Please tell me if I'm being ridiculously petty

[mucka]

I genuinely don't know. I'll try and be really brief.

DP has children with ex DP.
She's made it very clear that she doesn't like me.
She's also made it very clear that she doesn't like my DS (not bio to my DP), for no reason.

DP is doing home visits while on lockdown to their house.

DP plans to bring our tiny baby with him at the weekend.

I'm very aware that quickly they'll be bored of a tiny baby that doesn't do anything and will just want to play with their dad (fair enough).

However, with how my preschooler has been spoke about especially, I am not comfortable with her watching my baby while they play.
In fact, honestly, I'm not comfortable with her interacting with my baby at all.

Is this ridiculously petty? Do I sound like the pettiest person ever to tell him this?
Or am I in my right? I don't know. I don't want to be a petty person but I'm just not comfortable with it.

Can you say that since the baby is so tiny, you don't want to risk him/her catching something at the moment?

Doesn’t sound petty. Sounds incredibly insensitive of him actually.

Has he addressed exs behaviour with her? What does she do that makes it clear she dislikes you?

Baby should not in contact with others just for a casual show off anyway!

You shouldn’t be mixing households unnecessarily,keep the baby home!!

Even though parents are allowed to go between the 2 homes why are you extending that to a newborn who has no reason to go? Your kid,so up to you but I wouldn’t

No, your tiny baby needs to be with you. Stay firm on this.

The primary issue you have is the continuous use of the phrase my baby.

It’s not your baby. It is a person and you and your DP are equal parents. This is a call for your DP who presumably wants his children to know each other. This is the right thing to do as they are siblings. You don’t have a reason to stop this. It’s about the children.

He does need to address his ex’s attitude towards you and your child. But it sounds like a mutual antagonism.

YANBU.No way in hell would I let my baby go to a home of someone who spoke horribly about my child in a horrible way.

The baby won’t get anything out of it and will probably cry for you.

Keep baby home. You don't need to justify it.

I think you need to speak to your DP and say you have concerns that she doesn’t like you or your other child so you don’t want her looking after the baby at any point ( say nothing about his kids and boredom). If your partner says they won’t leave the baby ask then how that works if they need the toilet, to make up a bottle or a big kid wants to climb on them etc.

I dont think you are being petty at all the siblings can see the baby once this is over and things are back to normal.

Why wouldn't the baby stay at home with you and your son?

Maybe limit it to a quick half hour/hour visit with baby a day before, then they’ve met their sibling and you don’t have to worry about ex. I wouldn’t send baby for the whole visit to be honest

I don’t get why he would take the baby to his ex’s.

Aren’t the children coming to visit at your house? If not why not?

I would definitely say no, no need, especially with the virus risk.

I wouldn’t be bringing a small baby anywhere at the moment

You aren’t being petty. But surely your DP shouldn’t be going to his son’s house at all to spend time with him. The son should be coming to yours. It’s the child who moves, not the parent.

Why is he going to their home with the baby? I thought children were allowed to move between their parents houses, so why don't his children come to your house?

lemon Are you actually saying that a mother doesn’t have a right to stop her DP taking a newborn baby to mix with another household during a global pandemic?

So babies are no longer vulnerable against viruses? Good to know, I look forward to seeing your scientific source for this information.

The baby should not be going at all.

Absolutely stupid.
New baby stays with you. Nobody is getting anything out of baby going to exs (not to mention the fact its just bizarre)..
Children and baby have rest of lives to get to know each other, why does it have to happen immediately?
Resounding no from me, and you're 100% NBU

My tiny baby wouldn't be going anywhere, has baby had any jabs at all yet?

I would not be allowing a small baby to go to someone else's home at thos time, even if that is their siblings home. If your step children are not able to come to yours then why on earth would it be ok for your much younger baby to go to theirs? Not understanding your partner's logic here?

Why can't husband bring his kids to you?

Not being petty at all, no reason at all for your baby to go. Id be making it clear that ex has made it clear how she feels about your ds and you will not be allowing her to interact with baby!

I also think the kids should be coming to your house. Not your DH going to his exes house. But no way should he be taking your baby for his ex to look after while he plays with his other kids. I'd feel very uncomfortable with that.

His children should meet their sibling. She is their mother. You'll have to over it I'm afraid.