Reported neighbour now potential backlash, was Ibu?

[FailNameC]

For context the house next door to me in a back to back, the one at the back is a housing association house who currently has a male tenant, he comes and goes. Last summer he was smoking weed in the garden whilst my children were playing and I asked if he could put it out which created some animosity.
He's currently having a party with 4 other people, loud music etc.
I reported it via the 101 website.
Police have been out and asked them to turn music down, they all said they lived there and the police left.
I could hear him once the police left something about 'stupid cunts next door' and 'I'll pop windows'.
I'm scared now! Wish I hadn't done it.
Wibu?

Yes I bloody well will 'snitch', on the fucking twats who cause a problem in not only my life but people around me.

There are some wannabe gangsters on this thread or just maybe immature kids.

YANBU
be tolerant of intolerant dxxxhxxds.
Why because they may get worse.
No
You did the right thing.
Any animosity report it....if he knocks act dumb (you have kids so I would avoid a face 2 face...some people are unpredictable
Take care

The fact he was smoking weed in his own garden is entirely his business. No issue with that.
The fact he has people over ? I would have reported too. (well depends. If I could see they were socially distancing I wouldn't bother. )

Having grown up with plenty of dodgy neighbours 🤣 My top tip for you is to act cool.

Don’t start acting sheepish or intimidated what out and about. Don’t hide or avoid him deliberately. Give no sign that you a) have any reason to expect retaliation or b) heard him threaten it.

If he confronts you NEVER admit to it and say you wouldn’t have been arsed enough to phone the police and that you heard a bit of music but you were watching TV.

While I agree that often calling the police is absolutely the right thing to do, you usually have to make a choice about the ongoing day to day safety of your family and your home first. X

Playing music so anyone outside your house can hear it is selfish and inconsiderate, whatever the time of day or night. A bank holiday is not an excuse to be anti-social. YANBU.

I've learned one thing after living in or among social housing for nearly twenty years, hear nothing, see nothing & say nothing, keep your head down & your mouth shut, that way you don't get yourself in trouble. I have a drug dealer living next door to me, everyone knows he deals, but he doesn't give us any hassle because he knows that everyone knows what he does. He is the only person when I have been struggling with shopping who has helped me, he keeps an eye out for ds, if he sees him out when it is time he should be home, he sends him in. He is ok with me & I'm ok with him.

I haven’t been on mumsnet for years but am completely shocked to see how mean so many people are being!!

Please give her a break and offer kindness and support not scaring and criticizing her. Whether you feel it’s wrong or that she made a mistake, say it kindly or not at all.

This is not the place to direct your own issues towards other people in an agressive and dismissive way.

What happened to the sisterhood?

For what it’s worth I don’t think you have done anything wrong. I really hope there are no consequences for you. If you know any of your other neighbors well then talk to them and ask if you can call them in the middle of the night if need be. I haven’t read all 157 messages on this thread but I’m assuming you are a single mum?

Ignore the negativity as you have loads of support and that’s what counts.

Meh, he's not going to do anything. If you don't look after your own comfort nobody will . You have to stand up to bullies, and if all the cowards here don't, their lives will be affected eventually. Vandalism and anti social behaviour ruins lives.

I don't think you were being unreasonable. Your neighbour is the entitled anti-social neighbour, not you. To protect your children from such behaviour is your job as a parent. Let the Police know that you now feel intimidated by your neighbour's threats, and you are concerned for your safaty. You shouldn't have to put up with this type of behaviour.

I think you were unreasonable to report loud music before 11pm and a gathering of 4 people even during lockdown. I also think you were unreasonable to ask him not to smoke a spliff in his own garden. What do you think it will do to your kids? They are not suddenly going to turn into little druggies because your neighbour has an occasional smoke! You don’t say how old your kids are but if they asked about the smell, you could just say it is the neighbour smoking or if they are a bit older, use the opportunity to talk about drugs (if you want).

As for his comment, yes he was in the wrong but he was pissed off. What did you expect? Hopefully he is all talk.

You start with the whole Housing Association thing which makes me think you really are a little snob who hates being next door to a HA property and it would not matter who was in it you will always look down on them.
How have you treated this man? How did you ask him to out out his joint? For all you know hs could have been smoking it for medicinal purposes.
You were being unreasonable to report him if you were unwilling to chap on door yourself to request nicely he turned down the volume.
You have made trouble for yourself for no reason other than you look down on housing associations tenants

I don't do anything like what you're neighbour does but you sound like a pain the ass neighbour. I'd be on edge all the time.

@mussymummy 100% agree.

How do people even know that someone is in HA housing?

I live opposite a small close, the other night they sounded like they were having a rave. Had they have woken my son then I'd have gone over there, as it was they didnt.
I wouldn't report someone for having a party and think its judgemental that you feel the need to comment on the type of housing he is in. I'm also in house association, does that make me lower class than you?

The smell of weed is disgusting! I have a neighbour who smokes it & it comes into my house it’s so strong! If people want to smoke it do it inside your home so others don’t have to smell it.
As for reporting loud music, I probably wouldn’t if it’s a once in a while thing, but if you have it all the time it can send you bat shit crazy! 🤪

You have my full sympathy OP. I don't blame you for reporting them. It's just bloody rude keeping folks up all night.

I lived on different HA estates for years and they are the f*cking pits.

Nothing but drinking, drugs, noisy neighbours and general antisocial behaviour.... stereotypes are stereotypes because they're true. There are usually a few nice people but they're generally in the minority sadly.

They make the lives of decent hardworking people a nightmare... my old housing officer told me I would never be happy until I owned my own house and was sandwiched between nice elderly quiet neighbours: he was right.

Those of us that have young kids and jobs and are forced to listen to other peoples bullshit: it's bad for your mental health so if you can, move. It's worth the extra money.

As for grassers and snitches; what are you? 14?

How often does he party (although 4 people isn't a party)? What time was it when you reported him? You say he "comes and goes" so I'm guessing this is an infrequent thing? I wouldn't have bothered reporting. Police won't do anything for a small gathering and you'll cause issues in the future if he finds out its you.

I'm also surprised he lives alone in a HA house. He could just stay in one bed flat and actually look for a job. I wish someone would just give me a house, but I have just started a career so no chance.

Sparklynails really? Wow you have judged so much about this guys whole life without ever seeing him, speaking with him or having a clue what you are talking about! You have no knowledge of him at all! What if he is an ex soldier suffering after seeing terrible sights or any other number of things! What an appalling way to judge people one one persons snobby comment!

During the 70s my parents were in a bit of a pickle and we had to live in a rough area for a couple of years, my dad always said that people wholive in those areas were quite volatile and to smile, be nice and let them get on with what they're doing because it's not worth the hassle. We never had any trouble.

How Much animosity can there have been after a year?! Were you imagining this?

You should have just gone and asked him to turn it down but if there were four of them I'd question how loud it actually was. Groups of 4 people don't tend to sit around listening to blaring music - they talk.

I think you were being a bit precious. Live and let live. People lose their homes for getting complaints like this

I think you were a biut over the top to report 4 friends getting together to the police.

No, they shouldn't have done it but this level of curtain twitching and reporting feels awfully East Berlin.

Groups of 4 people don't tend to sit around listening to blaring music - they talk.

Some do. Some shriek at karaoke at the top of their lungs, some have a mini disco complete with flashing lights. There's one next door to me- no idea how many people but plenty loud.