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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour snitched on me putting up 1 fence...

213 replies

Brokentoday · 07/05/2020 12:32

I have recently moved to new property...

I live in a row of houses, all the house apart from my neighbour to my right have 4 ft fences..

There are house opposite of my garden and there garden are next to ours and so are the rest of the houses on my street, so in my garden the fence in front is 6ft and the fence to my right is 6ft the fence to my left is 4 ft.

Me and partner decide to put new 6ft fence along the left hand side by professional costing a fair amount of money. I off course notified my neighbour to my left that I would be doing so and if she was okay with it. She has no issues with it and she hope's to raise her fence aswell.

Now my neighbours are friendly welcoming and all round decent people since we moved me. The issue i have is I can see 4-5 houses down in my garden, I'm not unsociable I just was a bit of privacy in my garden with 3 children under 5. I dont think it is partically safe either..

My partner also feels somewhat uncomfortable because we are black they stare at us in our garden..

I got a phone call from my housing association letting me no that basically somebody have called them to inform them that I am putting a fence up..

I was told to stop as I didnt ask for permission, I said the fence is more or less done. I was then asked to write a letter retrospective permission.. to inform them that I have done a fence and that is meets there criteria.. the lady I spoke to was nice and basically told me make sure it not higher than 6ft and it's done by professionals.. take a pictures and send it In.

To find it somewhat funny that somebody felt the need to report me as if i stole from the queen palace.. I mean Im entitled to some privacy for fuck sake.. the fence is up and nobody can stare at us.

AIBU?

OP posts:
PotholeParadise · 07/05/2020 14:06

What's the "it must be done by professionals" thing? It's a wooden fence.

If it's not put up by someone competent, it starts leaning to one side or the other, which is inconvenient and unsightly.

Eventually it may come down prematurely in a storm, causing more inconvenience while one householder or another (or the HA) sorts out having the pile of wood planks removed and a new fence to replace it.

WorraLiberty · 07/05/2020 14:08

Why should she have to justify herself to you?

Blimey, your anger is clearly clouding your perspective here Grin

The OP meantioned it.

People doubted it.

You got the arse about that.

So, if/when the OP comes back to explain how she definitely knows they're being stared at because they're black, rather than neighbours taking more interest as they're new to the road, it might clear a few things up don't you think?

PotholeParadise · 07/05/2020 14:10

Lynda07

My fence blew down bit by bit before lockdown and I will not go in my garden during the day (unless I'm sure others aren't out there), until it is fixed which will be as soon as people are back at work. My neighbour on that side has patched it up a bit for me and is going to try to find a reliable worker to erect a new one.

Would a fencer have to enter your house in order to access the garden and repair the fence?

Stampy84 · 07/05/2020 14:10

@TatianaBis
I’m genuinely interested as to why it’s ignorant?
@Brokentoday said to a PP ‘ your white so don’t understand racism’

You don’t think that’s an ignorant comment?
My brother had his teeth knocked out because he was ‘White scum, and should stick to his own area’ is that not racist? Or like I asked before, does it not count I’d you’re white?

Stampy84 · 07/05/2020 14:12

@Brokentoday I’m sorry you’re feeling excluded because of your skin colour, but my genuine question is, have you tried to engage in conversation with anyone and they’ve knocked you back?
Could you be feeling paranoid and assume they’re staring at you because you’re black?

TatianaBis · 07/05/2020 14:13

Not even remotely angry just asking a perfectly obvious question.

Who are you to question the life experience of the poster and demand she proves her observations?

She asked about a fence.

Flower1309 · 07/05/2020 14:13

Snitches get stitches.

TatianaBis · 07/05/2020 14:15

@Stampy84 Well I’m genuinely not interested, sorry.

sonjadog · 07/05/2020 14:15

This thread has taken a weird turn.

It does sound like a bit of an unneccessary jobsworthy thing to have reported you, OP, but it has worked out okay and now you know there is someone in the neighbourhood who likes to watch and report, so in future you will know what to expect if you want to make any more changes.

heartsonacake · 07/05/2020 14:18

Judging by your comment your probably white.. haven't experience racism or understand it

🤦‍♀️ I’m not the person you were talking to but white people can face racism too. You are being a racist yourself for even suggesting otherwise.

Stampy84 · 07/05/2020 14:18

@TatianaBis of course not, because you’re racist, I hope that makes you proud. Reporting now.

PotholeParadise · 07/05/2020 14:19

This is not the thread to argue over racism, or to do mine-is-bigger-than-yours about past experiences.

If the OP wants to feel less overlooked in the garden by her neighbours, she doesn't need to provide five pages of testimony justifying why she thinks they're maybe a bit racist. We'll see what the HA think, but a six foot high fence is normally perfectly fine to have.

She hasn't done anything awful to the neighbours.

Legoandloldolls · 07/05/2020 14:23

Yanbu for wanting privacy
Yabu to put a fence up without permission if you dont own it.
People are nasty arsehole as you can see from the responses on MN
You dont know which neighbour reported you. Some people just thrive on hurting people as you can see from your replies 😂

TatianaBis · 07/05/2020 14:25

of course not, because you’re racist, I hope that makes you proud. Reporting now.

You said you were interested in why your comment was ignorant, I said I wasn’t. No racism in that.

AvoidingRealHumans · 07/05/2020 14:26

Yes I am white, my children are mixed race (their father is Jamaican) and we also live in a predominantly white area. My children haven't had people staring at them because they're black.

It seems you have a chip on your shoulder and trying to make your erecting a fence without relevant permission have something to do with neighbours staring at you because you are black.

What does it matter if someone 'snitched', you seem to have the fence deemed ok by the HA now.
You broke the rules and someone reported you, it happens.

Snowman123 · 07/05/2020 14:27

Why didn't you follow the rules?

If it's a housing association property then changes need to be approved.

Interesting that you mention your ethic origin. It just seems to me that you didn't follow the rules.

I agree it's petty reporting you. Especially when those directly involved were in agreement.

WorraLiberty · 07/05/2020 14:27

Who are you to question the life experience of the poster and demand she proves her observations?

You're hilarious Grin Grin

This is a chat forum and you know we're all like....chatting.

No-one is demanding anything.

Are you always so dramatic?

TatianaBis · 07/05/2020 14:29

Oh chatting is what you call it. Yes I’m sure you do.

Thisismytimetoshine · 07/05/2020 14:37

Tatiana You are incredibly confrontational for someone so reluctant to explain what her issues actually are? Maybe if you were more articulate your posts would make more sense 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thisismytimetoshine · 07/05/2020 14:39

Whatever 12 year old posted "snitches get stitches", get back to your Beano and let the grownups talk, dear.

WorraLiberty · 07/05/2020 14:40

Oh chatting is what you call it. Yes I’m sure you do.

Erm yes, we're not sitting around twiddling our nipples here are we?

Well I'm not anyway right now

Xenia · 07/05/2020 14:41

Anyone else considering this remember the law and the rules. First you open your tenancy contract. Then you read it. Then you obey the rules. If you cannot obey rules then you are not a great tenant or citizen. If the rules say you can put it up without permission go ahead.

category12 · 07/05/2020 14:42

I'm sure the OP has life experience and reasons for believing racism is behind stared at. I think a bunch of people jumping on her to justify that ought to think about why they're doing that.

TatianaBis · 07/05/2020 14:45

It’s not my issues that are the problem.

bruffin · 07/05/2020 14:46

Is no one else intrigued that OP has managed to get professional fencers in to put up a new fence during lockdown?

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